All along there was some invisible string (tying you to me) - ChloeDevanport - Harry Potter (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Tuesday, 7:35 am - Westminster, London

What makes a superhero? As a child, James could have answered this question very easily and quickly. Superheroes were strong and brave, wore cool costumes, and they always got the girl in the end. But somehow, over the years, that question had become more and more difficult to answer. The girl at the end of the story had become someone whose gender James didn't give a damn about. All that mattered was what your heart said, and if you could protect the people you loved, what was the point of being the one who got a kiss on the last page of the comic?

And just having a cool costume didn't make you a symbol of hope, an anchor that people could cling to and believe that eventually, everything would be okay. It took more than a funny one-liner or the will to throw yourself into life-threatening danger without thinking, James had learned that the hard way. Since something had happened about half a year ago, his life had been completely turned upside down. It all started with a trip to the spider lab in Nottingham, where one of the tiny eight-legged creatures escaped from its terrarium and ultimately decided to settle down on James' shoulder and bite him.

After overcoming the initial panic that he could now die from the venom of an extremely dangerous spider, something happened that was somehow even stranger than if he had developed a weird rash. Almost overnight, his poor eyesight had corrected itself, he had gotten stronger and faster, but all of that was nothing compared to the fact that he was now able to climb walls and shoot spider webs out of his wrists. Something that James had deliberately not given too much thought to, firstly because he had no idea how all of this was even possible and secondly because he didn't want to ask himself any questions to which he ultimately didn't want to know the answer.

His first impulse to tell his parents and friends about it, he had dismissed immediately, because that would kick off a lot of things and James had wanted to spare himself this immense pile of stress, which is why he had kept his newfound powers to himself and instead had done something that wasn't all that unusual at his age. James had thrown himself into an identity crisis and had questioned absolutely everything that had made sense to him before and somehow his whole worldview was shaken.

His life was falling apart and he might have run away from home to calm the panic in his head were it not for that large van crashing onto the pavement while walking the streets of London one night. A mother and her two young children, bathed in the blinding glare of the headlights, had stood rooted to the spot, unable to move, pinned in place by fear of being unable to escape from something inevitable. James hadn't thought much at all. Admittedly, he rarely did, but at that moment his body had just reacted, like some sort of impulse, and he had saved their lives.

It had only been three, maybe four seconds, but they had simply changed everything and suddenly the fog in James' mind had been lifted and he suddenly realized what had to do now. It wasn't about him at all, it was about what he could do with what a quirk of fate had unexpectedly bestowed on him. He now had the power to help others and to do good and James thought of his father, who had often explained to him that it wasn't about whether you should do something, it was about knowing that when you could find a way to make this world better, you must walk it.

Granted, taking on the burden of saving the entire world is quite a lot for an eighteen-year-old teenager, but sometimes it's the little things that end up making a big difference, like when James' mother boiled up some milk and added chocolate and a steaming mug full of cocoa was able to heal wounds for which there was no medicine. Maybe just saving London every once in a while was enough for starters. But living two lives at the same time wasn't as easy as James had hoped, and sometimes even simple things like getting to school on time were a big challenge.

Especially when Mrs. Figg, their neighbour, didn't look to the right or to the left when crossing the street and seemed to hate every aspect of the road traffic regulations, which of course also referred to traffic lights. "Woah, is green your least favourite colour or why won't you wait until the light is not red anymore, huh?" Mrs Figg, no longer surprised when James saved her from an approaching car, clapped him on the shoulder in a reproachful manner with the handle of her pink umbrella and clicked her tongue in an almost disparaging manner.

"Traffic lights, technical nonsense, if you ask me. There used to be no traffic lights back then, and we still survived.", she muttered, tore herself away from him and waddled away, still grumbling. James watched her leave, shaking his head, and then swung from lamppost to lamppost along Bessborough Street, past cafes and then across St. George's Square, where there was an old church whose bell tower he had spent an hour or two at. A few people waved at him, tried to snap a quick picture, and called or hooted his name.

And, you know, the name of a superhero is quite an important matter. It had to be memorable and somehow reflect the hero as a whole, James had learned that much from his comic books and ultimately, sadly not being particularly creative when it came to such things, he'd gone with what was the obvious choice. A spider had bitten him and now he could crawl up walls, what made more sense than naming himself Spider-Man? It was simple, but it worked. This was proven by the countless newspaper articles that were printed about him and the many fan accounts on the internet.

And while James wasn't interested in being famous or being adored, it would have been a lie to say that being heralded as a hero was not good for his ego. "Almost there-", James mumbled to himself as he passed the church and glanced back at the clock, which let him know that it was now 7:40 am, meaning he still had plenty of time. But...well, sometimes things don't go according to plan and that's when a very unfortunate petty criminal decided to rob the tiny kiosk at the little park on Lupus Street, which was directly across from the church.

Even before James heard the people who were already out and about that Tuesday morning screaming in panic, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and an unpleasant tingling sensation made his whole body shudder. James didn't know what it was, but it always gave him a timely warning of danger and made him react quickly, so he was grateful for the built-in alarm system. He did a quick backflip on one of the streetlights and turned around. Mr. Burgess, who owned the kiosk, stood shaking and sweating with his hands up and stared at the gun, the barrel of which was inches from his face.

The guy with his unwashed, dirty blond hair that was about chin-length was leaning halfway through the small window into the kiosk and was clearing out the cash register with his free hand. James nonchalantly rappeled down from one of the trees overhanging the kiosk, then cleared his throat politely and tapped the man on the shoulder. "Um sorry to interrupt but...do you know that it's a really stupid tactic to pull off a robbery at this time of the day?", he asked and the man flinched, cried out and whirled around, brandishing the gun wildly.

"What do you want?! f*ck off Spider-Man!", he screeched and James folded his arms across his chest. "Hey, why so rude, huh? Just wanted to give you some nice tips, mate.", he said, and probably to prove something to himself and everyone else, the man raised the gun over his head and fired a shot that gave a bunch of pigeons heart attacks and caused those who had stopped to stare to scatter in panic. "Oh okay, okay. I see, you don't want my tips. That's totally okay buddy, really.", James replied calmly, and two quick web shoots later the criminal was dangling upside down from one of the thick branches in a snuggly cocoon of silvery spider threads.

James always left the rest to the police and whether they wanted his help or not didn't matter to him, because the fact was that they needed him. "Alright Mr. Burgess, see you.", James said, giving the old man a two-finger salute and then swinging away, because he was running late, as the bell tower showed him. Luckily there was currently a building site on Chichester Street, to the rear of the school, and with it a couple of dumpsters that worked perfectly as a makeshift changing room.

"Ugh, next time maybe not a full-body suit..." James pulled the mask off, tousled his hair briefly and dug out of his backpack his glasses, which were now prepped with window glass, but to be honest he would have felt kind of naked without them. Painstakingly peeling off his red-and-blue suit, James hopped back and forth on one leg between the containers and nearly stepped on the tail of Mrs. Norris, the mean janitor's nasty cat. The shaggy four-legged animal hissed at him and James held up his hands defensively.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. Just...go your way. I'm sure Mr. Filch is already looking for you.", he urged and the cat scrutinized him penetratingly with its large lamp-like eyes before striding away, head held high, and jumped over one of the low walls, back onto the school grounds. Taking a deep breath, James quickly slipped into his uniform and, while still tying his tie, dashed two blocks back to the main entrance, where Mr. Filch was standing with a rake and eyed him sourly as he passed him and stumbled up the stairs to the door.

Mr. Filch had been the caretaker at Pimlico Academy for what felt like aeons, and he just hated everything and everyone but his cat. Who was at least as unpleasant a fellow as he was himself. With a quick glance at the watch his father had gifted him for his birthday two years ago, James almost ran into a group of girls who watched him go, giggling when he ran off mumbling a hasty apology. About five minutes before class started, he reached his locker and his two best friends, who were already waiting for him.

"Mate, why are you late again? And don't tell me it's because you took so long to tie your tie because that..." Sirius gestured almost accusingly at the piece of blue and white striped fabric, which hung loosely knotted around his neck. "That doesn't look like you made any effort." James sighed, stretched out his arms in surrender and let Sirius do it, who smirked as he adjusted his tie. Sirius was...well, if there was such a thing as a soul mate, James had definitely found his in the black-haired boy. The moment they met, something clicked and they knew right away that they wanted to be together forever.

It had nothing to do with love or any romantic feelings, although James had to admit that Sirius was pretty damn handsome, but between them, it was a different kind of connection. As if they were always meant to find each other. And for Sirius, James was the first friend he'd ever had, the first person to show him what the word family really meant, and the first person to teach him how to give someone an overwhelming and heartwarming hug. "You're sweating. Did you run?", Peter asked, leaning against his locker with his arms crossed and eyeing James.

"Uh...yeah, I overslept.", he replied shakily and Peter, looking suspicious for a moment, then nodded and left it at that. James had known Peter since they were little. They'd practically grown up together, had countless sleepovers for two, engaged in dozens of snowball fights, and built hundreds of pillow forts. Aside from Sirius, he was the one who arguably knew James best and who would willingly follow him anywhere and trust him blindly. And so did James.

"Overslept? Really? This is the sixth time in two weeks. You're hiding something from us.", Sirius said and took a step back and James' eyes almost bulged in shock and something heavy thudded into his stomach and he felt queasy. "W-What? What makes you think that?", he squeaked, his voice two octaves higher than usual and Sirius wordlessly raised an eyebrow before putting his hands on his hips. "Well, because you're a really bad liar.", he replied and James felt his heart begin to flutter nervously, like a bird about to fly for the first time but it had no idea how to use its wings.

"Bullsh*t, I would never lie to you guys. And um...hey by the way, how's Regulus doing?" A very clumsy change of subject, most definitely, but when it came to his younger brother, all of Sirius's switches got flipped anyway, so it was the ideal tactic for James to deflect from his very blatant lies. "Don't say you've had another fight.", James continued undeterred and Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, things are going great between us. He's just...the way he is. A mean little gnome who pretends to hate me but actually loves me.", he said with a deep, theatrical sigh and James grinned.

"Somehow you can't be with but also not without each other.", he replied, loosening his tie and opening his locker. To say that Sirius and Regulus were both complicated people would have been an understatement. But James would never have blamed them for that because they couldn't help the fact that their parents were unloving, unempathetic, cruel sh*theads who had always denied their children any affection and had crushed them with expectations they could never have met. Not to mention the mental and physical abuse that the two brothers had endured over the years.

James had only met Sirius' father once when he had picked him up from an afternoon of gaming together when Sirius was just twelve. A tall, mute man who seemed almost static, like a gray unmoving rock without any emotions. As if he just didn't care. He had grabbed Sirius by the shoulder very roughly and dragged him to the car and James had felt nothing but pity for Sirius at the sight of him, especially since Orion was such a polar opposite of his own father.

Regarding Sirius's mother, he'd seen her only once through the window of the chic Islington flat in Claremont Square, where the Black family had had their ancestral home for generations. It had only been a fleeting glimpse, but James had immediately gotten goosebumps because although Walburga was beautiful and possessed a natural elegance, her eyes were ice cold, her mouth always set in a thin line as if she were dissatisfied with everything around her, and her entire body and unnaturally perfect posture seemed lifeless and forbidding.

In short, she was a terrifying woman and James admired Sirius and Regulus for sticking around her for so long. By the time he was sixteen, Sirius had finally run away from there after spending many nights with James' family, and almost a year later Regulus had followed him. Euphemia, the blueprint for every mother in existence in James' mind, had gotten the two brothers a flat nearby so they could visit the Potters whenever they wanted. It wasn't always easy between Sirius and Regulus, they liked to argue often, and by now James believed that arguing was as vital to the two of them as breathing.

But they were brothers despite everything and would never let each other down, they could look at each other and immediately knew what the other was thinking and woe to anyone who wronged one brother, he would feel the full rage of the other brother. "So everything as always I would say." Sirius linked his arm with James and the three of them made their way to the classroom. "But enough of that, have you heard that Lucinda supposedly stuffs her push-up bras to get more attention from the boys? Heard she's jealous of Greta's bust size because she's got boobs the size of melons and Lucinda so flat you could use her as a pool table.", Sirius smirked, because if there was one thing that really got him going apart from David Bowie, it was gossip.

Sirius was the unofficial drama queen of Pimlico Academy, always knowing when someone was trying to cover a dirty secret and always having the latest tea on hand. That was also the main reason why Peter had saved him as 'Gosspig Girl' in his phone. Peter, who now reminded them that maybe they should hurry up a bit because if there was one subject not to be late for, it was English. McGonagall was a strict and very stern woman, and a fantastic teacher, but she hated it when you were late or in any way disrupting her classes. And for that matter, Peter, James and Sirius were high on her hit list.

"sh*t, I think I forgot to do my homework.", James mumbled and started frantically rummaging around in his backpack while the other two took their seats. "Do you have some sort of death wish? Because Minnie will definitely have your head when she finds out.", Sirius said from a row behind James and the bespectacled boy grimaced. "Yeah thanks for reminding me, mate.", he growled as someone poked his side with a pencil and James looked up in confusion. Lily Evans, the girl with the most incredible green eyes James had ever seen, grinned at him and held something under his nose that he didn't recognize until he took a second look.

"Oh wow Lily you're a lifesaver, I owe you one.", James said, grabbing the densely written sheets of paper. "Oh by now you owe me so many favours that I could easily make you my personal servant for life.", she replied smugly and James looked embarrassed at the homework she had kindly lent him. It wasn't as if he'd forgotten to do them on purpose, but helping old ladies across the street and stopping regular jewellery store robberies left little time for long discussions about what made a good life. A question raised in Matt Haig's 'The Midnight Library'.

James liked the book, but he didn't like it enough for it to be worth allowing an armoured truck to be hijacked by members of the Russian mafia. So Lily Evans had saved his ass once again and just a few years ago James would have been delighted at the prospect of having to serve her forever. The moment he first laid eyes on Lily, with her emerald eyes and red hair, he had decided that one day he would marry her, even though she had hated him from the beginning. But eventually, her dislike for him had turned into something akin to tolerance and James had understood that he had never really been in love with her, just intoxicated by the idea of being with her.

And Lily really was great, fantastic even, but ultimately she wasn't the one who had made his heart burn. At least that had been his mother's most flowery metaphor when she had questioned how real his crush really was. And as always, Effie had been right, but that was okay because by now James had come to realize that he and Lily were far better off as friends than they ever could have been as a couple. Lily Evans was a force of nature and anyone who doubted that, she would mercilessly convince them otherwise.

She could be creepy when she was angry or disappointed, but like everyone, she had a vulnerable side that she hated to show. Her sister in particular was a sore point. James had never met her, he only knew her name and that she went to a different school and that she and Lily weren't getting along very well at the moment. It was apparently because her sister was jealous for some stupid reason and James would never understand how anyone could dislike Lily because she was loyal and helpful and stubborn and extremely smart. She was almost perfect and yet James had understood by the time he was fifteen that she wasn't the one for him after all.

Maybe because he didn't want what was already perfect. At least that was his father's guess. Monty had provided the thought that maybe James was looking for someone to challenge him in more ways than one, someone he really needed to fight for, break down the walls of and conquer the heart of, not with compliments or gifts, but by making himself the one person who completed the other. It sounded cheesy, no doubt, but James was an optimist and a romantic, and he loved a challenge.

"Alright, now please stop the babbling and prick up your ears, we'll get started." McGonagall, dressed in green as usual and proudly displaying her Scottish origins, entered the room and walked briskly to the teacher's desk and James scribbled the last few sentences in his notebook before handing Lily her homework back. But, as it turned out, the effort had been practically in vain, because McGonagall didn't even call him up once, but merely admonished Sirius to please stop throwing small paper balls at Peter to see how many of them would get stuck in his mousy blonde hair.

It was a relief that the first lesson on that Tuesday morning flowed along so smoothly, and while James knew he would probably regret it later, he didn't really pay much attention to McGonagall. When the exams came around, he would cram enough and beg Emmeline Vance to beat into him the last bit of knowledge that every year refused to stick in his brain. But not today and when the redeeming bell finally rang, James put his stuff in his backpack and ran out into the hallway with Lily, Sirius and Peter, where Mary and Marlene were already waiting for them.

Appearance-wise, Mary and Marlene couldn't have been more different, but it still seemed like they were joined at the hip, always together, always silently judging the others. Marlene, pale as death and with a light blonde, shaggy wolf cut, was punk personified, which was helped by the fact that Vivienne Westwood had once liked one of her Instagram pics and she was...well scary wasn't the right word, but the younger students were always watching her with a mixture of reverence and fear and no one could have denied her that it didn't look bloody powerful when she swept through the school corridors in her black, sturdy boots, which weren't actually part of the school uniform.

Mary, on the other hand, was like what the poets might describe as an afternoon come alive in a summer meadow. Her laughter was contagious, her eyes sparkled and she was a joy to be around. A social butterfly as Sirius liked to say because she got along with almost everyone and the teachers loved her. Not because she was always the best student, but because she knew how to use her charm. Something James envied her for because no matter how many times he told Minnie that he thought her green tartans were absolutely gorgeous, she always responded with a sharply raised eyebrow.

"Well, seems like a certain someone was scared McGonagall would eat him for breakfast, huh?", Mary quipped, putting an arm around Lily's shoulders as she came to stand next to her. "Oi that's a real danger if you forget your homework with her and shouldn't be underestimated.", James justified himself and Marlene snorted in amusem*nt. "But you already know that she only keeps an eye on you because you and the other two blockheads screw up so often." "We don't screw up, we rebel against the system, McKinnon. I thought that would be to your liking.", Sirius countered and Marlene laughed and shook her head.

"Oh, so blowing up the toilets is your way of rebelling against the system? I find that a bit questionable." "Just because you're not able to recognize the message we're conveying with our pranks. It's called moral psychology.", Peter replied and Marlene poked his forehead before they went to their next lesson. All the way there, Mary and Lily kept giggling together, holding hands, and even a blind person would have recognized that they were flirting, but the others had long since given up trying to point this out to either of them.

Marlene had said they would have to figure it out on their own, but also that it could take a while for people who were oblivious about their own feelings. And at least that was the case for Lily. Mary on the other hand...not so much. When they arrived the classroom smelled faintly of rotten eggs and Peter immediately opened one of the windows before joining James and Sirius in the back row, for although Slughorn was quite an acceptable teacher, all three of them hated Chemistry. Unless their teacher had planned some experiments, then it could be quite entertaining.

"You know, I don't understand why Slughorn is so suspicious of us. I mean...that little mishap with the Bunsen burner was a one-time thing.", Sirius said, throwing his arms up dramatically and Lily sighed. "You almost set the whole school on fire." "Yeah, but only almost.", James grinned, pointing his finger guns at her and the red-haired girl rolled her eyes before she took Mary's arm and sauntered off with her. "If it's not because of the incident with the Bunsen burner, then because you almost burned off Peter's eyebrows during an experiment.", Marlene reminded him and James gasped in horror.

"Marls! We said we'd never talk about this again!" "Yeah, it's really not nice to rouse Peter's trauma again. He's suffered sleepless nights and nightmares of the worst kind because of it.", Sirius whined theatrically and Peter nodded somberly. "You three really are idiots.", Marlene sighed, and as she turned around, she almost collided with the very broad shoulder of Mucliber, who was pushing his massive frame through the school hallways, grumbling, followed by Avery and Snape, who both frowned in a similar way, but probably for different reasons.

"Oi, watch where you're going dyke.", he snorted and Marlene made a face. "Come up with some new insults, baby. Or is that too much effort for your little pea brain?", she sneered and Mulciber stopped, like an old steam train screeching to a halt, and looked down at her. "What did you call me?", he growled while Avery stood behind him, grinning widely as if about to cheer him on, which wasn't far off the mark. "Oh sorry, was that already outside of your limited vocabulary? My mistake, I should have remembered that you're mentally at about the level of a four-year-old.", Marlene snapped back, a belligerent twinkle in her eyes, and James looked at Sirius and Peter, who stood behind him but just shook their heads silently. Marlene was quite capable of fighting this battle herself.

"You stupid cow, I'll...!" "What, beat me up in front of everyone? Do you really want to risk another reprimand?", Marlene asked and Mulciber pressed his lips together, clenched his fists and then pulled away, Avery trudging behind him looking a little bit disappointed. Only Snape lingered for a moment, his beady black eyes fixed on the back of Lily's head. "f*ck off, Snivellus.", Sirius snarled and Snape glared at him disdainfully before shambling off, obviously in no mood to start an argument today. Even though he was really great at provoking.

"Come on, we should go.", Peter said quietly, grabbing a wrist from each of his two friends and pulling them in the opposite direction. It wasn't uncommon for them to clash with Mulciber's little gang almost every day, a rivalry that had started the second they began their first day of school together. Mulciber was dimwitted, yes, but easily angered and what he lacked in brains he made up for in brawn. Avery, on the other hand, was like a nasty little weasel who always went after what he thought was the best option and Snape...well Snape was a bitter loner, a coward with a way too big mouth and a mean streak that he liked to take it out on the smaller and weaker.

He had once been Lily's best friend, something James had never understood, but after she rejected him and he insulted her, she had rightly told him to stay away from her. She'd stubbornly ignored him ever since, far too kind a treatment if you had asked for James' opinion, who'd clashed with the lanky boy with forever greasy black hair so many times he'd lost count. But James refused to waste too many of his precious thoughts on someone like Severus Snape, especially when there were so many other things worth thinking about.

Well, admittedly, in Professor Binns's history classes, he mostly switched off, but he was certainly not alone. His way of speaking was so endlessly boring and dry that one had the feeling of listening to a ghost and it was not uncommon for students to fall asleep in his class. He didn't care much however, he was so old that it surprised James that he could even operate the printer in the staff room. And because a secret second life as a superhero could be very exhausting, it wasn't long before James' head sank onto his desk and he disappeared into the realm of dreams.

For a while he was floating around in absolutely blissful zero gravity, dreaming of something he forgot the second Sirius shook him awake and Peter beamed down at him, telling him that it was now time for lunch. James yawned, rubbed his eyes, his glasses almost slipping off his nose and together they made their way to the cafeteria. "Hey, did you hear about the robbery this morning? Happened right here, just down the street. Some petty criminal wanted to rob the kiosk at the park there.", Mary said and James pricked up his ears.

"Oh really? Did he get arrested? Was anyone hurt?", Lily asked, grabbing a tray and joining the line of other students queuing for lunch. "Pfff, of course not. Spider-Man was right there and grabbed him.", Sirius said, showing Lily his phone. It showed an image of the criminal wrapped in a cocoon of spider threads, dangling upside down from a tree, and a blurry red-blue speck far to the left of the image. "Wow, it seems like it's really hard to get a decent picture of him.", Peter remarked and Sirius nodded. "He's just too fast."

"He's doing vigilante justice and I don't like that. He should just let the police do their job.", Lily said, grabbing an apple juice from the counter. "Lils, I love you, but if you really think the police have everything under control, you're sorely mistaken. Spider-Man is the best thing that could have happened to them. I mean, he's always there and saving people. I think he's exactly what London needed and to be honest, more than we deserve.", Marlene replied and the six of them sat down at their usual table.

"That's right, he gets so much sh*t thrown at him on the internet, but he keeps going and he doesn't want anything in return. He's a hero, it's as simple as that.", Sirius said, leaning back. "Yes, if you make it that easy.", Lily replied and James looked back and forth between her and Sirius, waiting for a heated argument to ensue, but just as Sirius opened his mouth to say something, a group of stragglers entered the cafeteria and James' full attention was immediately on the boy walking up front who looked so much like Sirius and yet couldn't have been any more different.

Regulus Black had the same raven hair as his brother, the same high sharp cheekbones and the same straight aristocratic nose, but that was where the similarities ended. He was not as tall as Sirius, but with a more pointed chin and hair that curled more and was cut shorter, and whereas Sirius' eyes were more like a deep, calm ocean, blue like absolutely pure sapphires, Regulus' eyes were two pools of silver, cold and unreachably distant like two full moons shining bright in the dark night sky. And so incredibly beautiful...wait, what?

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

James blinked a few times, squinted, and even shook his head slightly as if that would change anything about what he saw, but it didn't. Regulus still looked like a 19th-century painting come to life, absolutely matchless in elegance and beauty, but too far away to ever touch. As if James were just lucky enough to even be allowed to breathe in his presence, as if fate had been just kind enough to let him have a glimpse at what makes a true masterpiece, only to then show him that he would never be any closer than he was now, forever an impassable distance between them.

James stared down at the potato hash browns formed like a smiley and wondered what the hell just happened. It had never occurred to him, not once since he had known Regulus, that he would look at him and do nothing but sit there like a complete idiot with his mouth open, staring stupidly, as if he had just seen the eighth wonder of the world. Why now? What was different now? Why was his heart pounding, racing with excitement? He had never felt so at the mercy of his body before, completely powerless to resist an urge that was magnetically pulling him in Regulus' direction.

It rolled over James like a train he hadn't seen coming and it confused him on a monumental level. Regulus had always been his best friend's little brother, nothing more and nothing less. Someone who had suffered the same fate as Sirius and who had also one day stood at his door like a lost puppy, with no home and nowhere to go. So why did James suddenly, out of nowhere, see something completely different in him? Had some weird switch flipped in his hormone-ridden teenage brain that he hadn't known existed?

A switch that made him notice every little detail about Regulus. His narrow shoulders, his delicate hands with slender fingers, his fluent gait, the way he turned and tilted his head. It was maddening. James felt like he had stumbled into something that he was completely unprepared for and now he was drowning in it, unable to swim or fight the waves trying to push him below the surface. It was downright eerily overwhelming how Regulus was suddenly all around him and James couldn't do anything but keep staring at him like he was seeing him for the very first time.

"Hm, it's kinda strange to see them without Barty. As if a part was missing.", Marlene said and James was more than grateful that she gave him something else to concentrate on. Then maybe his dumb heart would finally stop acting like a bomb about to explode. "Yeah, but honestly? They had no choice but to kick him out.", Lily replied, spearing a piece of broccoli on her fork. "Oh come on, it was clear this was going to happen eventually. It's like putting too much pressure on a pane of glass. It'll break eventually.", Sirius mumbled, his gaze fixed on the four of them now walking past them to their usual table in the far right corner of the cafeteria.

Leading the way was Pandora, who always had a slight jump in her stride, her hair like a curtain of fair hair kissed by the sun but only ever so slightly that it didn't appear white. Her homemade earrings jingled softly and Lily chuckled when she saw that Pandora had tied her tie in a bow and was wearing her socks inside out. Pandora was...well she was very special, in her own way. Not strange, but somehow never fully here, like her mind was a merry-go-round that never stopped, like her eyes could see things that were invisible to others.

It was fascinating how she seemed to live in her own world, a never-ending dream and if you were to label someone the word optimist then Pandora was the best choice. She always saw a way out, always a solution and always had advice, no matter who asked her for help. James was pretty sure she was actually too good for this world, someone who was meant to only exist in fairy tales where happy endings were guaranteed. Dorcas, on the other hand, was pragmatic, very ambitious, always heading for the goal and believed that nobody gave you anything for free and nothing just fell into your lap.

In her opinion, if you wanted something, you had to take it, and she carried that philosophy through. Which was also one of the reasons why she was the best of her year alongside Lily. There was only one subject in which she was constantly going toe-to-toe with someone and that was P.E. And her chosen rival, probably for life, was Marlene, who was an absolute sports ace and seemed to have a knack for just about every type of physical activity. Whether it was endurance running, football or gymnastics, Marlene mastered it all as if she had never done anything else and she often clashed with Dorcas when it came to being the best.

Admittedly, not only in James' eyes was this rivalry laced with a huge dose of sexual tension, because whenever the two got in each other's way on the field, their friends were not quite sure whether they were about to tear out each other's throat or if they would kiss. In a Facebook status, this kind of relationship would probably have been labelled with the word 'complicated' and both James and the others had given up pointing out to Marlene that it wasn't really an insult to curse Dorcas' beautiful, long legs that allegedly gave her an unfair advantage when it came to running.

But no doubt you could be blind in more ways than one, and especially at this age when you believed yourself to be immortal and invulnerable, you were more blind to many things than at any other time in life. And then there was Evan, who probably missed Barty the most. Something he didn't need to say out loud, but something that was quite obvious and he probably wasn't even aware of it. Evan was Barty's best friend who had always tried to keep him out of everything, mostly trouble Barty had caused himself and James couldn't help but think that Evan had always come across like a stressed-out mother burned with the impossible task of keeping everything under control.

Evan looked more like a Victorian prince, with his blond hair and perfectly formed face, which, according to Mary, would easily qualify him to be part of a boy band. Although Evan would probably never have dared to do anything so unconventional, at least in the eyes of his father who tried to control absolutely every aspect of Evan's life and James had a feeling that Evan could never really be himself, always being forced to meet his family's expectations, playing a role that clearly wasn't written for him, condemned to be someone so very different from his true self.

James had made some attempts to befriend Evan a few years ago, but it had never worked and eventually, he had given up. And it wasn't that Evan was lonely because just like James had Peter, Sirius and the girls, Evan had his friends, a puzzle that had oddly fitted together perfectly, but now there was a piece missing. Just last week, Barty had been expelled from school for trying to break into the principal's office and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

It was sort of the last domino in a long line of missteps he had committed and rumour had it that he had done it on purpose, a final 'f*ck you' to his father with whom he had been at odds for ages. As far as James knew, Barty hadn't lived at home for a while because he hadn't been able to take it anymore, but unlike Sirius, he hadn't had anyone to go to and it seemed like Evan was the last person still trying to stop Barty from falling into a deep, bottomless abyss.

"Oi Alice, have you already been to Wonderland today and had tea with the Mad Hatter?", a bawling voice suddenly sounded through the cafeteria and James looked up. Mulciber, Avery and Snape apparently had nothing better to do than to annoy Pandora and make fun of her, because of course it was easy to pick on someone who was completely different from yourself. At this point, it should be noted that James would choose Pandora over any of the three idiots anytime, for while she by no means conformed to any traditional norms, she was highly intelligent and could empathize with people better than anyone else.

A trait neither Mulciber nor either of the other two possessed. If Mucliber could empathize with anyone other than himself it would probably be a slice of toast. "Hey, is anyone home up there? Or have you lost all your marbles for good?", Mulciber continued to taunt her, now towering over Pandora because absolutely nothing else could earn him respect except his physical size. Pandora, on the other hand, looked up at him completely unimpressed, eyed him briefly and then went back to her food. And being punished with ignorance was just unbearable for someone like Mulciber.

"I'm talking to you, you trollop!", he rumbled, grabbing her shoulder, which seemed to be crossing a line as Regulus jumped out of his chair, glaring daggers at Mulciber, who seemed pleased he'd gotten what he wanted. "Get your filthy grabbers off her right now.", he hissed and James felt his throat go dry as Mulciber's mouth twisted into a mean grin. "Awww, does your little friend have to protect you? How cute, but what are you going to do? Call for your mommy to do this for you? Come on, we both know you're too weak to do anything on your own, you worthless fa*g."

An almost suffocating silence settled over the whole cafeteria, lasting about a split second in which Mulciber might have thought he was about to win, but he had reckoned without Regulus' spark of madness. A spark that now became a rapidly spreading wildfire as Regulus grabbed the knife that lay by his plate and James glanced at Sirius, whose eyes were fixed on Regulus, already half-turned in his chair, hands balled into fists, ready to jump up and stand up for his brother should the situation call for it.

"You know, I have to disappoint you because I don't care what you call me or think of me. But don't think for a second you could assault my friends and get away with it.", Regulus said quietly, his voice calm and collected, and that only worried James more, for he knew Regulus well enough to know that in one thing he was very much like his brother. Their fury simmered beneath the surface until it just got too much, until there were too many cracks and then it all erupted and most of the time people got hurt.

"Sorry but I'm not scared of a pathetic little maggot like you. You're just as sad a sight as your friends and just as gross a co*cksucker as your brother." The chair next to James toppled and fell to the floor with a loud bang that echoed around the room as Sirius jumped up and Regulus lunged at Mulciber at the same time. James didn't hesitate for a second, but his plan wasn't to get involved in the fight that would no doubt break out now but to stop it before anyone's blood got spilled.

"You motherf*cker, I'll kill you!" James wasn't sure which of the two brothers was screaming as fists met, Pandora cried out loud and Dorcas hugged her protectively. "Reg, stop it!" Evan also tried to force his way between the quarrelers while the rest of the students leapt from their seats, hooting and crowding around them, some even whipping out their phones to film. Lily, Mary and Marlene tried to unsuccessfully stop them as James dodged a fist that came rushing towards his head and caught an arm in the chaos that he thought was Sirius'.

But as he tugged at the person the arm belonged to, it was Regulus who stumbled into him, eyes as grey as clouds just before a storm, ready to strike the earth with their lightning. "Let go of me!", he protested immediately, but James didn't even think about it, instead he called for Pete, who was there immediately and, lacking better technique, jumped onto Avery's back to wrestle him to the ground so that he would stop kicking against Sirius' knee. For a brief moment, James contemplated secretly shooting some webs, but the danger of anyone seeing that was just too great, especially since Snape, who had of course retreated in time to avoid the fight, was watching him the whole time.

"Let go of me, Potter!" Regulus started to struggle, but James wrapped both arms tightly around his waist, determined not to let go and thanks to Peter, Sirius had managed to punch Mulciber right in the face, the force of the hit sent him staggering. It wasn't a particularly honourable thing they were doing, James was well aware of that, but f*ck it, he was just a teenager and not the moral high ground of the whole bloody town. And someone like Mulciber didn't deserve fairness either.

"James, I have to help him!" Regulus pressed both hands against James' chest to push himself away from him, but James had understood long ago that Sirius would take a bullet if it only meant keeping his little brother out of harm's way. Regulus came first, and he might or might not like it, but once Sirius snapped, he was next to impossible to stop. It was a side he hated about himself and one that James had seen many times before, a wild temper fueled by an unbridled rage that had no outlet.

He had no control when his emotions took over and normally James would be his balance at moments like this, the anchor he could hold onto to void being swept away, but right now Regulus was the higher priority. It was an unspoken promise James had had to make to Sirius the night Regulus had run away from home. Still, James hoped he would never find himself in a situation where he was forced to choose, knowing that if he chose Sirius he would spend the rest of his life blaming himself for not being able to save Regulus and James would choke on that guilt.

And should he choose Regulus, he would never forgive him for this choice. So he could only fail, and James didn't think he was strong enough to ever make such a choice. "Don't you dare come near my brother again!", Sirius growled, who had a split lip and he grabbed Mulciber by the collar, whose face was twisted into an angry grimace. "You'll wish you were never born, Black!" Regulus squirmed in James' grip again, Peter was shaken off by Avery and, with his eyes closed, swung at him, actually earning Avery a broken nose.

And Sirius might have continued to use Mucliber's face as a punching bag if Minerva McGonagall hadn't appeared in the cafeteria at that very moment. "Enough! Stop it!", she yelled and Peter scrambled to his feet while Avery tried to stop the blood that was constantly running out of his nose and Sirius let go of Mulciber, who would have taken advantage of it mercilessly had McGonagall not immediately stepped between them. Only now did James let go of Regulus, who looked like he wanted to slap him, but instead just pressed his lips together and looked kind of...disappointed?

"In all my years as a teacher, I've never seen students behaving like uncivilized savages and dragging our school's good name through the mud!", McGonagall shrieked in disbelief, shaking her head in so that a few strands escaped her tight updo. "I can't believe you boys really think violence is the answer, I hope you're aware of the consequences that will follow your actions.", she huffed, looking penetratingly at each of them. "To the principal's office, now!", she ordered, and slowly they shuffled in the direction McGonagall's trembling index finger was pointing.

"And the rest of you go straight to your respective classes. A little faster, if you please!" Mumbling, the crowd of students dispersed and James took one last look over his shoulder at Lily, Mary and the others before they turned the corner into the hallway. Regulus walked at a deliberate distance from James and Sirius, who was rubbing his sore knuckles. "Are you alright?". James asked and Sirius nodded curtly, licking the blood from his bottom lip. The walk to Dumbledore's office was silent, the only sound being the clacking of McGonagall's heels and James silently wondered if he might have done something wrong earlier.

Should he have stood by Sirius' side instead? Should he have trusted Regulus' friends to hold him back? And why the hell couldn't he get rid of the feel of Regulus' pulse beneath his fingertips? "Come on gentlemen, get in there." McGonagall held the door open for them and while James, Peter, Regulus and Sirius were instructed to wait in the anteroom, she ushered Mulciber and Avery straight into the office. Snape had, of course, escaped in time to avoid all of this. McGonagall gave them a sharp look, a silent warning not to do any more stupid things, and then the three of them sat in silence.

Peter looked questioningly at James without a word, nodding imperceptibly in Sirius' and Regulus' direction, at which James could only shrug helplessly. It was one of those situations where silence was just as bad as saying the wrong thing, but you just couldn't find the right words. So they all keep their mouths shut until finally, Regulus spoke up. "You didn't have to help me. I would have been fine on my own.", he said and sounded a little defiant, almost as if he had to convince himself of the truth of this statement.

"Oh please, are you freaking kidding me? You and a butter knife against Mulciber and Avery? I would have liked to see that.", Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes and Regulus' jaw hardened. "I don't need you to fight my battles for me, alright? You're not my personal protector.", he hissed and Sirius gave a dry laugh. "Of course, if it wasn't for James, Pete and me, you would be in the infirmary now." "And even if. I'm old enough, you don't have to treat me like a kid anymore." Regulus folded his arms across his chest and turned away with a scowl, and Sirius looked almost outraged.

James and Peter glanced at each other but made a telepathic agreement that it was best not to interfere in an argument between the two brothers. "It's not a question of whether you could do it or not. I am responsible for you.", Sirius explained irritably and Regulus ran his hands through his hair with a groan of frustration. "Bloody hell, you are not responsible for me! Why do you think that?" "Because I let you down once and I've been trying to make it up to you ever since, Reggie. And whether it suits you or not, I'll always be there for you. Pout all you want but I won't leave you alone again."

Regulus dropped his hands in his lap and looked at Sirius defeated as if the wind had suddenly been taken out of his sails. Like blowing out a candle, his anger had suddenly evaporated and he sighed softly. "Come here..." Sirius put an arm around Regulus' shoulders and pulled him into his chest. "I know you're smart and crazy enough to mess with someone like Mulciber, which is damn brave, but also damn reckless. And I couldn't forgive myself if I would ever see you with a black eye again, knowing that I could have prevented it.", he murmured and Regulus nodded silently, nuzzling his face in the crook of Sirius' neck.

James exhaled deeply and looked at Peter in relief as the door to the office opened and Mulciber and Avery stepped out, the latter pressing a handkerchief to his nose. They glared at them hatefully before McGonagall ushered them out and then turned to the four boys. "Come on, he's waiting for you.", she said, and they trotted into the office, which was almost overflowing with all sorts of knick-knacks. Their principal was an odd man, looking more like a crazy hippie grandpa than a wise, venerable professor. Always a little lost, always a little funny, but good-natured and kind.

"Well then, Minerva couldn't tell me much about the reason why the fight broke out in the first place. Mr. Mulciber claims you attacked him, but I have a feeling that's not the truth. So, gentlemen, I'm all ears." Dumbledore clasped his wrinkled hands and peered at them over the rims of his glasses, waiting for an explanation. "It was my fault.", Regulus said immediately and Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" "Yes, Mulciber did...he insulted Pandora and me too and because of that..." Regulus paused, seeming to be searching for the right word, but Dumbledore seemed to know what he meant anyway.

"Ah, he provoked you. And I suppose that's when your brother and Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew decided to join, right?", he prompted and Regulus nodded. "Yes, sir." "I see, it sounds like your schoolmates were hoping to rope you into a scuffle but it obviously got out of their hands pretty quickly.", Dumbledore chuckled in amusem*nt, earning him a confused frown from the boys. "I won't judge you too harshly, but don't think there are no consequences for your actions. You will be suspended for the rest of the day and your parents will be informed.", Dumbledore said and Regulus and Sirius looked at each other in shock because although they lived alone in their own flat, they were both still students and Walburga and Orion were their official guardians.

"Don't worry, we won't be informing your mother and father. We are aware of the circ*mstances and therefore it will be sufficient to inform Mr Potter's parents in your case.", McGonagall assured them, her voice unusually soft, and Sirius felt his heart getting a bit lighter because, to be honest, he wouldn't care what would happen to him if his parents got their hands on him, he solely worried about Regulus. "Please wait outside until they pick you up. And please refrain from getting involved with such things in the future. You're all smart young men, you're better than stooping to their level.", McGonagall explained while Dumbledore picked up his old rotary telephone.

"Do you think Effie will be mad?", Regulus asked James, who dropped into the chair in the anteroom with a shrug. "She certainly won't be pleased, but...I think she's more concerned that we might have gotten hurt than anything.", he replied, patting the empty chair next to him, a crooked grin on his lips and Regulus hesitantly sat down, grinning back unsteadily. "Well, maybe that applies to you, but my mum will definitely kill me.", Peter sighed and Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll find you a nice place to bury your remains.", he replied and Peter looked at him gloomily.

"Thanks, mate." Sirius smiled and his lip started bleeding again. It wasn't long before voices could be heard outside in the hallway, which quickly got loud and a little hysterical, and then the door flew open and Peter's mother, a thin woman with light blonde hair and cheeks red with agitation, stormed into the anteroom. "Peter! Oh heavens what have you gotten yourself into?", she wailed and immediately began examining his face. "Mum, that was my decision. My friends needed my help and...oi, stop it! I'm fine, I'm not hurt."

"Oh, is that so? Well, then you can get ready for a proper lecture, young man. A fight really, I thought I had brought you up better.", she scolded and Peter pushed out his lower lip. "The others started it and besides..." "It doesn't matter who started it. We're going home right now, come on.", she said and Peter got up, waved at the others and then followed his mother. Barely a second later, James' father poked his head into the room, followed by Effie, who put her hand over her mouth in shock, startled at the sight of Sirius. "Oh dear, what have you boys done?", she sighed, kneeling in front of Sirius.

"It was my fault Mrs. Potter, I shouldn't have let myself be provoked. Sirius was just...he was just trying to help.", Regulus said and Monty put a hand on his shoulder. "McGonagall already explained to us what happened and I assume those guys said some pretty ugly things, huh?", he asked and Regulus nodded. "Sorry mum, I know you always say violence isn't the answer...", James mumbled sheepishly, kneading his hands and Effie looked at him. "Yes, it isn't. But more importantly, never let your friends down.", she replied, examining Sirius' sore knuckles.

"That's not to say I'm proud of what you did. In fact, I'm pretty disappointed." "That's even worse than if you were mad...", Sirius mumbled contritely, but Effie merely made a dismissive gesture. "The fact that you're ashamed shows that you know it was wrong and that means you've learned your lesson. Now let's go home and patch you up. You two are okay, right?" She glanced at James and Regulus who looked at each other briefly and then nodded at the same time. "Good, let's go."

With the three of them in the back seat of the car, Sirius laid his head on James' shoulder and closed his eyes and James also began to doze off a bit. Only Regulus kept looking out the window while the houses and shops rushed past them. Effie insisted that despite the fact that the two brothers had their own flat, they should stay with them tonight and neither Sirius nor Regulus objected, as any kind of protest would have been pointless anyway. Sirius was immediately ushered into the bathroom, where Effie tended to his split lip and sore knuckles while James and Regulus stayed with Monty, who gave them a small but well-deserved sermon.

And James was especially ashamed because although he was firmly convinced that he had done the right thing, his father's slightly disappointed look was just something he found difficult to bear. But when Effie then asked them to help her cook dinner all the tension was gone because neither James' mother nor her husband had ever been able to hold a grudge for very long, let alone against their own son. Nevertheless, after dinner, they were sent straight to bed and Sirius and Regulus both decided to sleep in Sirius' old room.

It only had one bed, but that wasn't a problem because even now as teenagers, sleeping together made them feel safe, like no one could harm them and they were protected from all the evils in the world. James on the other hand...well, he had work to do so he waited until he heard his parents go to bed, then threw back his covers and grabbed his backpack, which he'd stuffed his suit into earlier that morning. He slipped silently out the window and swung away in the dark of the night, the flickering lights of the street lamps below him and a black sky above him.

His evening patrols had become a habit by now, and besides, it was the best time of day to avoid getting caught. There were nights when things were quiet and James could just do his usual round and then there were nights like this when James pretty much pushed himself to the limit. A robbery had been reported at London Chemicals and Resources Limited, LCR for short. The complex was a little outside of London and Peter knew the police would need at least an hour if not more to get there, but that didn't apply to him.

When he reached what was almost the size of a small town and was brightly lit, he immediately recognized the spot of trespassing. One of the gates had been knocked down and a not exactly inconspicuous black van was parked in front of what James thought might be the warehouse where all the chemicals got stored before being used. "Okay, some idiots want to steal some chemicals, no problem.", he mumbled to himself and rappeled down from the steel frame he was sitting on.

Climbing through one of the large skylights, he quickly spotted a group of people dressed in all black and wearing strange silver masks. A quirky accessory, but well, still better than see-through tights to disguise your identity. James squared his shoulders and slid down a large tank while the burglars loaded barrel after barrel onto a presumably stolen forklift to haul as much as possible away at once.

"Okay, let's do this." James straightened up and let out a loud whistle that made the gang stop and look up at him. "You know, if you want a chemistry kit, you can get it much cheaper elsewhere. A shopping centre for example.", he said and one of the members hissed something at his comrade and they frantically split up. James sighed. "They could make it easy for me once. Just once."

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

The punch that James didn't see coming hit him square in the face and he staggered briefly before catching himself again, quickly crossing his arms, shooting two webs and letting three of the black-clad gangsters crash into each other so that they fell to the ground, groaning in pain. With a skilful backflip, James dodged a kick that would certainly have gotten him in an awkward spot were it not for his spider-sense tingling and he grabbed the shoulders of a slightly taller guy, swinging around him and ramming both feet into the pit of another guy's stomach who came running towards him, sending him to his knees.

Six at a time wasn't easy, but James had always had good hand-eye coordination and he was quick, and with an early warning system built in he was almost unbeatable. Well, almost. The slim, slightly wiry, tall person who seemed to be in charge of the small group, who obviously had more than one functioning brain cell, dodged James' web, which otherwise would have pinned her to the wall, and pulled out a crowbar, that they must have used to pick the lock on the gate outside before they completely smashed it down with the van.

Leaning back so that a normal human's spine would have probably snapped, he narrowly avoided rough contact with the piece of metal, leaving him vulnerable to a second attack. Something hit his chest with full force and James felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment. As if the blow had knocked all the air out of his lungs and he was only able to save himself with the help of a string, which quickly took him out of reach of his attacker, who let out a hysterical squeal as he escaped her for the moment. James pressed a hand to his chest, trying to breathe and ignoring the black dots dancing in front of his eyes.

"Come on, we're off!", the woman hissed, James was almost certain it was a woman, and her comrade, who had now gotten to his feet, tilted his head slightly. "And leave the others here?" "Yeah, the loot is more important!", she retorted imperiously and James staggered to his feet because no matter how bad he felt, or if he was about to collapse, he couldn't let them escape with whatever was in the barrels.

"Oi, are you leaving already? Without saying goodbye?", he joked and the woman looked up at him, then pulled out a gun and before James could do anything, she shot one of the numerous tubes and within seconds the entire hall filled with thick white smoke that James wasn't sure was safe to inhale. "Ugh...crap..." He tied the other four, who were still unconscious, to one of the pipes and then ran outside where he could only vaguely make out the van's taillights in the darkness.

"sh*t, who the hell are these guys?", James mumbled, unable to get rid of the thought that those guys were up to something very bad with the stolen chemicals. And why the masks? They certainly weren't some third-rate petty crooks. They could fight, they were organized, smart and fast. Two had gotten away, and James was more annoyed by that than the bruised ribs he'd gotten from the fight. Perhaps they were just pieces of a much larger puzzle, just minions belonging to someone far more powerful. Some unimportant, worthless foot soldiers doing the dirty work for their boss.

At least that's how it always went in movies and to be honest James had never been involved with a major criminal organization. Sure, the Russian Mafia wasn't just any street gang, but he only had dealt with a few guys who thought they'd get a foothold in London. This...this seemed a lot bigger to him. And far more dangerous too. Organizations of this type and size almost always pursued goals of global proportions, something destined to shake the entire world. Or maybe the silver masks were just a stupid gang symbol and they wanted to sell the chemicals to some bio-terrorists on the black market to make money.

To be honest, James would kind of prefer the second option. With aching bones and racing thoughts, James settled himself on the roof of the next available train that took him back to central London, where he climbed back to his room through the open window. "Ouch...ugh bloody hell..." James pulled the mask off his head and gently touched his cheek, which was throbbing uncomfortably. "That'll be hard to cover up." He peeled off the rest of the suit, stowed it at the bottom of his closet and put on a worn-out shirt from Sirius and a pair of boxer shorts lying around on the floor and then quietly opened his bedroom door.

The house was completely silent and James tiptoed downstairs because his mum kept a first aid kit in the kitchen and he could use some plasters, bandages and some ointment too. He hopped down the last step of the stairs, skidded around the corner, flipped on the light switch and stopped abruptly. Crouching in the corner and now staring at him like a frightened raccoon stood Regulus, a bowl of cereals clutched to his chest and a drop of milk clinging to his chin. Completely taken aback, the two stared at each other as if they had both suddenly forgotten how to use words before Regulus audibly swallowed.

"What...what happened to your face?", he asked wobbly and James automatically touched his cheek. "Oh er...I stumbled in the dark.", he replied, which was of course a lie, but luckily for him, Regulus didn't think he had the right to inquire any further and he slowly placed his bowl on the kitchen counter. "Why are you awake?", James wanted to know and Regulus paused, staring at the floating cornflakes in the milk for a moment and then shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." "Ah, I see. Happens to me too sometimes.", James replied, and that wasn't a lie, although he believed it was for different reasons.

"Yeah I uh...wanted to make some tea first but I was afraid the kettle might be too loud so..." Regulus gestured awkwardly at the bowl and James smirked. "Cornflakes at one o'clock in the morning. I like it, it's got style." Regulus laughed dryly. "It's depressing." "Oh, I'm sure there are more depressing things. You could have sat on the floor with a pack of ice cream.", James countered and Regulus bobbed his head slightly before nodding. "Yeah, you're right. That would probably have been a really pathetic sight."

"Nah, you could never look pathetic, Reg. Not even with an ice cream-smeared face." James grinned and Regulus pressed his lips together and turned away briefly, and if James hadn't had a faint ringing in his ears he would have heard what Regulus had whispered to himself. But thanks to his beat-up state, he only heard two words he thought he could identify as 'stupid' and 'idiot'. "You okay?", he asked, taking a step towards Regulus, who now cleared his throat and straightened up. "Yeah, I'm fine. I uh...do you want me to help you?" James blinked at Regulus in confusion and frowned.

"Help me with what?" "Your face." Regulus gently pressed his finger against James' cheek, which was already covered with a faint bruise, and James drew in a sharp breath. "Ah...yes, I nearly forgot." "Effie must have some ointment somewhere and there must be an ice pack in the freezer. And...hm, maybe some painkillers so you can sleep.", Regulus murmured to himself, who suddenly seemed very busy and started scurrying from cupboard to cupboard. "Awww, are you worried about me, Reggie?", James purred, batting his eyelashes at which Regulus raised a single eyebrow.

"No, but someone has to take care of you when you're stupid enough to mutilate yourself. And don't call me Reggie.", he said matter-of-factly and James couldn't help but admire the perfect arch of his dark eyebrow. He patiently waited until Regulus had everything together, first having the painkiller poured down his throat and then watching in fascination as Regulus lifted himself onto the kitchen counter with ease. "Okay, come over here. I need to take a closer look at this.", he said and, mesmerized, James walked towards him, slipping between Regulus' legs without realizing it and stopping just inches away from the tip of his nose.

"Hm, what did you bump into?", he asked, intently examining James' face and James was lost in the silver of Regulus' eyes that seemed deep and endless in the dim light of the kitchen and James was ready to plunge in and drown. It was just like the cafeteria, he was trapped, unable to break free as if a work of art had hypnotized him and vaguely James knew Regulus was asking him a question and he should answer, but his mind was blank. "James? You don't have a concussion, do you?" Regulus' cool hand settled on James' cheek, sending a shiver down his spine and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"You're warm...", he whispered and James just nodded absently because at that moment he would have said yes to anything, no matter what came out of Regulus' mouth. Despite the pounding in his skull, he could hear everything clearly and James didn't even notice his own hands resting on Regulus' thighs, too busy imagining if Regulus' lips would feel as soft as they looked. An absurd thought that had never occurred to him before and that kind of scared him, but kind of made his heart race with excitement at the same time.

And for a moment James thought that maybe this was just a dream and that he was lying unconscious in a corner at LCR. But even if, this was a wonderful dream, and if that was the case, then that would've been okay because even if love at first sight was just a myth, Regulus had definitely lit something up inside of him that hadn't been there before. He didn't understand what was wrong with him or what had changed, but his mother had always told him that you didn't really have a choice when it came to fancying someone and that sometimes the heart and mind were at war and just when you least expected it, someone showed up and they would have the power to stop time itself.

Maybe that's what happened to James. It was either that or his hormones were screwing him, but whatever it was, there was no way he wanted this moment to ever end. It wasn't even that he wanted more. He could be forever content just to be close and look at Regulus. But time was a merciless bitch and that's how the moment eventually ended. Regulus blinked a few times, gaped at James in surprise and then pressed the ice pad against his cheek. "Argh, that's cold!", James hissed and Regulus uncapped the tube of the healing ointment.

"Don't be such a baby, Potter.", he said, surprisingly cold, but despite the odds, James could tell there was a faint blush on Regulus' fair cheeks that no amount of cynicism could hide. And somehow that gave him a strange kind of satisfaction. "Don't be so mean to me, I'm hurt.", James pouted, leaning forward, but Regulus gave way, pushing James aside and hopping off the kitchen counter. "I'm not mean. You're being childish.", he corrected harshly, and oddly enough that spurred James on even more. "I'm your patient, you should be nice to me.", he replied and Regulus roughly pulled his hand aside and smeared some of the ointment onto his cheek.

"I'm not your personal nurse.", he clarified and James grinned. "No, but you could be.", he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows and the blush on Regulus' cheeks intensified. "Don't make fun of me...", he mumbled and James smiled softly. "I would never, I promise.", he said and meant it. And Regulus seemed to realize that too, for he scrutinized James more closely than he probably realized before putting the ointment back in the cupboard. "You should go to sleep." "You too." James grabbed the bowl and dumped the now soggy cornflakes and put the dishes in the sink.

"I can't." "Fine, then I'll stay up with you." Regulus rolled his eyes. "James..." "Regulus." Regulus braced himself with one hand on the counter. "You are unbelievable." "I know. But really, I just wanted to be nice and not leave you alone after you've taken such good care of me.", James explained and that brought the faintest of smiles to Regulus's lips and dear God, it was so, so lovely. James could have stood here for hours and just looked at Regulus, but unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to and Regulus wished him a good night before he went upstairs.

James stood in the kitchen for a while, his mind revolving around details like Regulus' long, thick eyelashes or the sweep of his cupid's bow before he felt the painkillers kick in. With a warm hum in his chest, he returned to his room, tucking the cooling pad between his face and the pillow. It wasn't long before he fell asleep dreaming something about silver stars and silky black feathers.

~***~

What James didn't know was that this night hadn't just been eventful for him. Okay, Evan hadn't fought masked villains in a skin-tight superhero suit, but that didn't mean he had it that much easier. Right after school, he'd made his way to Barty's, who lived in a cheap flat in an ugly new building that he could only afford thanks to the money his mother secretly sent him every month. Secretly because his father would forbid it immediately should he find out because for him Barty was no longer his son and therefore no longer part of the family.

But Barty's father had always been an asshole who was home so rarely that it almost surprised Evan a little how Barty managed to argue with him so often. But he knew the coercion and the pressure and the mothers who looked away when their husbands raised their voices and sometimes their hands. And only afterwards, when it was already too late and the damage had been done and the tears had flowed, did they try to explain that he didn't mean it that way and had probably just had a hard day at work and then the wounds were treated and then they would stop talking about it until it happened again.

Evan knew exactly how Barty felt and why he hadn't been able to take it anymore. He knew why he ran away, but there was a big difference between him and Barty. Evan could never be brave enough to escape his cage, especially not the way Barty had done. But that was okay, it was enough for him if at least one of them managed to get out of there, even if the flat was a real sh*thole, that was still better than seeing Barty with a black eye and knowing exactly where it came from. They'd known each other forever, practically growing up together, crushed by the same expectations of following in their ever-absent father's footsteps.

But Evan had always been less willing to do what he was told than Evan, who had simply accepted that he would never have a chance to decide for himself what kind of life he wanted to lead. A silent surrender. Barty was braver and more rebellious and Evan had always admired him for it, even if it often got him into trouble. So often that Evan had started trying to keep Barty from getting grounded again. Or worse. It was better than looking away or watching and still doing nothing and for some reason, Evan felt he owed it to himself.

If he was too cowardly to stand up to his own father, he at least wanted to help Barty break the shackles that bound them to something that would eventually drag them down into the abyss. And Evan was willing to drown if that meant helping Barty swim. Because for his best friend, there was never such a thing as a middle ground, only extremes. It was all or nothing and sometimes Evan was afraid that Barty was blind to his own limits and would one day overestimate himself so much that he would break his neck while trying to overcome a hurdle.

He worried about him because Barty was someone who sometimes just seemed to boil over and didn't know how to step on the brakes. Always too fast, always too much and yet Evan was willing to do anything for him. Maybe it was pathetic, but what did it matter? Evan wasn't ashamed of having someone he would drop everything for, even if Barty wouldn't do the same for him, because Evan wasn't much of a selfish person. He wasn't stupid or naïve enough to think that Barty even knew that the fast lane could cost him his life, nor would he ever expect Barty to sacrifice himself to the same extent as he did.

Barty was who he was and Evan would never want that to change. The only thing he kept constantly begging for was that he might listen to him more often, as it was scarce to take care of someone when they were doing whatever it took to get caught by either the police or Spider-Man. Now that he was out of school and had absolutely no ambitions to get a job, Barty had made the very questionable decision to pursue a career in crime, something that gave Evan sleepless nights and made sure that he spent every waking minute being worried about Barty. He was his best friend, yes, but also quite the idiot.

Evan took a deep breath before ringing the bell, the only one that didn't have a name tag next to it, and then there was a scratchy rough noise sounding like a dying rooster. "Hey Barty, it's me. Let me in.", Evan said and then the door lock buzzed and he slipped inside. The stairwell stank of cigarette smoke and urine as usual and Evan was sure that at least half of the residents in here had done something illegal before. Barty included. "Hey, what's a nice boy like you doing in a sh*thole like this?", Barty joked, casually leaning in the open doorway with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Evan smiled and shook his head. "I'm not nice, you should know best." "Oh come on, you didn't set your aunt's hair on fire on purpose and you were...what? Four years old? If that's all your criminal record has to offer, then I have every right to call you nice. Nice and pretty, way too good for a place like this.", Barty explained lightly, stepping aside. Pretty. Barty often said things like that without thinking, not knowing what they were doing to Evan and what a mess they were making in his head.

Evan had been in love with Barty since they were thirteen, at least that was when he first really realized it and it was also the moment he decided to keep it to himself forever. It was better this way, he knew, and the stakes were too high for it to be worth risking losing Barty. "How was school?", Barty asked, closing the door. "Ugh, it sucks without you. Like we're Pink Floyd and we suddenly lost a member.", Evan sighed, taking off his shoes. "Oh, I see, I'm Syd Barrett and you guys are completely lost without me.", Barty grinned and tugged at Evan's tie.

"Nah, I always liked to think of you as the David Gilmour of the group. But...the point is that we miss you. It's not the same without you.", Evan replied, walking into Barty's living room, which was at the same time his bedroom and which was practically overflowing with empty pizza boxes. "I know. I miss you guys too. But I'm not going to give that old wanker the satisfaction of crawling up to him and begging him to put me back in school. I'd rather die.", Barty grumbled, settling down on the couch that also served as his bed.

"Hmm, by the way, there was a fight today." Evan sat down next to him and grimaced when he realized he'd sat down on an old slice of tuna pizza. "Really? Who got into a fight? Why? And who won?", Barty wanted to know and Evan tilted his head back. "Mulciber couldn't keep his mouth shut and made a fool of Pandora. Reg stood up to him, it escalated and then..." "And then what?", Barty asked and Evan had to smile a little. "His brother, Potter and Pettigrew went along with it. They gave Mulciber and Avery a good run before McGonagall stormed in and stopped the whole thing."

"Wow, I would have loved to see that!", Barty laughed, running a hand through his messy brown hair and grabbing a can of Red Bull. "Yes and I..." Evan paused. His gaze shifted to the very new-looking flat-screen TV that was sitting on the dresser and when he glanced at Barty he quickly gave him an innocent smile. "Did you steal that? Are you completely insane now?", Evan snapped, but Barty just shrugged. "Don't worry mate, it's just a TV. It's not like I stole the crown jewels. I mean, not yet..." "Barty! That's dangerous! What if the police catch you? Or Spider-Man?!", Evan asked and Barty made a dismissive gesture.

"Spidey is too busy helping old ladies across the street. He hasn't noticed me before and will continue to do so.", he explained matter-of-factly and Evan stared at him completely stunned. "And what if he does notice you? What if one day you take it too far and something goes really wrong?" "Don't worry, that's not going to happen. I...I just need one big hit and then I'll be set for the rest of my life.", Barty said, putting both hands on Evan's shoulders. "Then I can finally live my life the way I want." Evan sighed softly.

"I know that's what you're thinking, but you're wrong. Unfortunately, it's not that simple and I'm afraid that you'll manoeuvre yourself into something and then you won't be able to get out." "But I have you and you take care of me, right?" Barty looked at him and Evan realized that he was completely convinced that he would always be there to save him. And yes, Evan would always be by Barty's side, but he wasn't sure if he'd be there in time to catch him before he fell, not this time. "I...I just don't want anything to happen to you. That...I couldn't take that.", he admitted and Barty squeezed his shoulders lightly.

"I'll be fine. You won't get rid of me that easily, I promise.", he said and grinned and that grin made it so easy to believe him. It disarmed Evan, leaving him completely naked and helpless at the mercy of this boy, unable to do anything but surrender himself completely to him. Evan wanted to believe Barty's every word that passed his lips and for the moment he allowed it, ignoring the dirty flat and everything else and just listening to his laughter and shutting out the rest of the world for a few hours. It was always like this when they were together and Evan would do anything to keep it that way.

~***~

Wednesday, 7:25 am - Belgravia, London

James was glad he had only taken one punch in the face and the rest of the bruises were spread across his torso where not everyone would spot them right away. Especially not his parents, who under no circ*mstances could ever find out what he was up to at night. His mother was guaranteed to have a heart attack and his father would tell him that while his intentions were certainly good, it was far too dangerous. And somehow he would be right about that, but James had these abilities, this power and doing nothing when he knew he could help wasn't right either.

He put on his glasses, checking his hair, which he had given up trying to tame years ago and just as he was about to reach for the doorknob, he heard his mother call for him. "I'm coming!", he shouted, taking a deep breath and then going downstairs, hoping the big bruise on his cheek would just go unnoticed, but of course, it didn't. Effie almost dropped the coffee pot and Sirius, who was about to put a forkful of scrambled eggs in his mouth, stopped and stared at him in shock. "Good God, what happened to you?", Monty asked startled and James tried to smile casually.

"Oh, it's not that bad.", he dismissed and sat down next to Sirius, praying inwardly that the subject would just be dropped, but that wasn't the case either. "Did one of those two boys do that? Did it happen yesterday during the fight? Heavens, that looks bad. Does it hurt?", Effie asked, putting a hand under James' chin, gently lifting up his face. "Mum really, I'm fine. That's just...er..." "He tripped last night, I heard.", Regulus said, sipping his tea, not even looking at him, and James' eyes darted over to him briefly in surprise, before glancing up at his mother.

"Exactly, I tripped in the dark and bumped into my closet. That's all, no need to get upset.", he explained and although Effie was still eyeing him with concern, she let it go and sat down at the table as well. Only Sirius didn't seem convinced, but kept his suspicions to himself, because when it came to trying to hide the origin of a bruise, he knew all about it and besides, James had always been a terrible liar. "Okay boys, eat up. I'll drive you to school, it's on the way anyway.", Monty said and popped the last of the bacon into his mouth before getting up, kissing Effie on the cheek and going to get his briefcase.

So James quickly scooped up his breakfast, which his mother gave a disapproving look at, and then grabbed his stuff. The fact that his father would take him to school made a morning patrol impossible, but he would certainly have enough time to do a few laps around the city this afternoon or tonight. "Hurry up guys, we gotta go!", Monty called from the door and Regulus and Sirius, who had gotten their backpacks from upstairs, squeezed down the stairs at the same time, almost tripping over each other's feet and promptly started to argue.

James ran after them grinning and the four of them left the house. The house was...well it wasn't ostentatious, it looked like a lot of the houses in this area, nothing special actually and yet James was aware of the fact that his family was wealthy. He would never have bragged about it or thought he was better than anyone because of it, but it was ubiquitous nonetheless. His father had a very successful shampoo and conditioner company, the conditioners being the best on the market in particular and James knew he would be privileged to one day inherit it all.

Actually, he didn't have to worry about anything, not even about his future and maybe that's why he wanted to help the people in this city so much. To achieve something that he had set up all by himself and without anything falling into his lap. Sirius' family, or at least the people who bore him and raised him for the first sixteen years of his life, lived in Islington and they, too, were rich through a business that Sirius liked to call dirty and with which he wanted nothing to do. And actually, money had never really played a big part in James' life and he sure was many things, but he wasn't one to boast about being rich, even though Lily had liked to call him a snobbish, selfish, spoiled, rich arse back then.

"Come on, get in.", Monty urged, who was already in the car with the radio turned on. A lot of people listened to the radio on their way to work in the morning for the news, the stock market, or whatever boring grown-up stuff they needed to know about, but James' father was definitely not one of them. He was always listening to channels that played old music from the 70s when he had been young and James had started to like that music.

He was particularly fond of ABBA and the Beatles and Regulus often protested, claiming he preferred listening to classical music, although both James and Sirius knew he had tons of MCR and Nirvana songs on his phone. But they allowed him to maintain the image of the introverted bookworm who loved poetry, classical literature and Debussy. Because he did, but he was also a 21st-century teen who sent tons of GIFs when he didn't want to talk and liked to watch bad soap operas when he was sick.

"Buckle up, safety first.", Monty said, finger raised, and after all the seat belts were in place, he turned up the radio a little and drove off. The white-fronted streets raced past them while the radio played David Bowie with Sirius singing along softly and James allowed himself to look over at Regulus, whose lips were barely moving, forming the words that blared out on the radio. James smirked and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to take Regulus' hand because his still slightly aching skull vaguely remembered that Regulus' skin had felt very soft last night.

Like cold velvet beneath his fingertips and James felt his hand twitch, but he pulled himself together. He couldn't simply overwhelm Regulus with all of those...emotions and feelings. Just because all of a sudden everything had changed direction inside his mind, that didn't mean that it was the same for Regulus. And anyway, Sirius surely wouldn't like that, would he? Regulus was his little brother after all and... Oh f*cking hell, what was James getting himself into? You didn't pay attention to your stupid heart once and it immediately threw itself into things the extent of which it couldn't understand at all.

"Alright gentlemen, we're here. Have a nice day and please don't get into another fight, eh?", Monty said, giving them all a warning look through the rearview mirror. "Yes, sir.", James, Regulus and Sirius answered in unison and got out of the car only to be confronted with a whole mob of chattering and babbling students, all glued to the screens of their phones as if hypnotized and if James had to take a guess he would say that it might have something to do with an incident at LCR last night. And maybe Spider-Man had been involved.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

"Hey! have you heard that...oh holy sh*t, what happened to your face?" Peter put his phone down and instead looked confused at James' face and James wished he could just put his mask on. "Nothing, I just bumped into my closet in the dark.", he mumbled and looked down at his shoes. "What's going on? Did Beyoncé die?", Sirius asked and Peter raised an eyebrow. "Mate, don't you watch the news?" "Nah, that's too depressing for me.", Sirius answered with a shrug and Peter shook his head in disbelief when Marlene, accompanied by Lily and Mary, came running towards them.

"There was a break-in at this chemical thing outside of London, barrels with some highly toxic stuff were stolen, but the police were able to arrest four of the six burglars.", she rattled down, pushed between the boys and showed them her phone. The Times online article had put a large photo under the headline showing the four criminals being taken away by the police, all covered in cobwebs and in bold letters proclaiming Spider-Man had been once again faster, doing the work of the police who hadn't been quick enough.

"Well, he couldn't prevent these guys from stealing the highly toxic chemicals though.", Lily said, almost sounding disapproving, which made James feel uneasy and his stomach rumble slightly. "So what? It's not his job. He helps voluntarily and these idiots in uniform should be thankful for that.", Marlene scoffed and put her phone away. "At least they have a couple of these guys in custody now and can question them." "Do you think this is some kind of terrorist group? Maybe they're planning something bigger.", Mary said, biting her lower lip in concern as they entered the school building together.

"Even if they did, I'm sure Spidey will stop them.", Peter replied confidently, which Lily acknowledged with a critical raising of her eyebrows. "Okay, as funny as I think this discussion about the spider-dude is, I have to go now. I have to go to biology." Regulus broke away from the group, gave a short nod to Sirius, who waved at him with a smile and then he ran off, and James thought he could see Pandora's mop of light blonde hair at the end of the hall. "Okay but, who do you think he is? Spider-Man I mean. Any theories?", Marlen asked, carrying her backpack casually on one shoulder, her head tilted thoughtfully.

"Oh, maybe he's a rich billionaire who has too much money and too much time and that's why he decided to become a hero.", Peter suggested and Sirius laughed. "He's not Batman, Pete.", he snorted in amusem*nt, ruffling Peter's hair. "Oh come on, like you got a better theory.", he muttered, pushing Sirius' hand away. "In fact, I do have one. I think he's just a regular guy like you and me who just decided to help people.", he explained, swinging an arm around James' shoulders. "Yes, but there are also less illegal ways to help those around you.", Lily remarked, walking hand in hand with Mary.

"Maybe, but imagine you have superhuman strength and fight the bad guys. I wouldn't want anyone to know who I am either.", Marlene said and Mary nodded. "It would put all your loved ones at risk, they would be a constant target. Why do you think Bruce Wayne dressed up as Batman? He doesn't want anything to happen to those he loves." "He's got a pretty good side-kick wear and tear, though.", James commented quietly, suddenly becoming painfully aware of something else. While he had always hesitated to tell his family and friends that he was Spider-Man, Mary was right.

If everyone knew who was under the mask, none of them would ever be really safe again. They would always be in danger of being used as leverage against him and James could never take responsibility for that. Especially not if anything should ever happen to one of them, because then it would be his fault and he couldn't live with that burden. It would crush him. "I think it's better if we don't know who he is.", Sirius said, gently squeezing James' shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I guess you're right.", he replied and together they walked to the sports hall where they had their first lesson today.

A fact James had completely ignored and suddenly he understood that now everyone in the locker room would see his battered upper body. "What do you think Hooch is going to torture us with today, huh? Rugby, football or relay?", Sirius asked, unbuttoning his light blue shirt with nothing underneath. Something McGonagall had criticized him for before, but he consistently ignored it, claiming that the shirt would better flatter his figure this way. "Ugh, I hope not rugby again. My knees still remember last time.", Peter wailed and listlessly kicked off his shoes.

James, however, hesitated. He didn't want to have to come up with any more stupid lies, and he didn't want his friends to worry or even become suspicious. Though he was pretty sure Sirius didn't seem to buy the lie about stumbling into the closet in the dark either, because he really was a terrible liar. "James, come on mate. You know Hooch will make you run extra laps if you're late.", Sirius reminded him, tying his shoulder-length hair back. Madam Hooch, the strict but unfortunately extremely incompetent sports teacher had once tried to have him suspended from class for violating the dress code, claiming his hair was too long.

Dumbledore had eventually decided that the boys were free to wear their hair as long as they liked, but Sirius had to tie it in a small ponytail for at least the duration of P.E. Madam Hooch had insisted. But keeping the fact in mind that she was apparently very rule-abiding, she often allowed a very dirty foul play in all team games, never blew the whistle and was often completely absent. Where she went when she wasn't ignoring a foul nobody knew. It was an unsolved mystery. "Yeah uh...you go ahead. I'll be right behind you.", James said and after Sirius and Peter exchanged a quick look, they left the locker room with the other boys.

James waited for the door to slam shut before he quickly changed and then ran into the hall too. The girls were already standing in full and orderly ranks and Madam Hooch eyed James closely as he was the last to join them. "Alright, let's get started then.", she said, then blew her whistle loudly. That meant five minutes of running to warm up and grumbling, everyone started moving. James didn't have a problem with that, his stamina had improved considerably since the spider bite, so running in circles for a few minutes was a trifle.

Things were different for Peter, however, who had suffered from a mild form of asthma since early childhood, which didn't bother him much in everyday life but became an almost insurmountable obstacle in physical education class. An obstacle that had never been more than a lousy excuse for Madam Hooch until Peter collapsed during a relay race and had to be picked up by the ambulance. Since then, she hadn't been quite as harsh on him when he was standing in front of her gasping and whistling like a teapot, but still, P.E. was his most hated subject.

"Very well, now we'll split you up into mixed teams and then we'll play some football!", Madam Hooch announced loudly, which was met with moderate enthusiasm and Peter stopped, breathing heavily, while James didn't even have an increased pulse. "I hate football.", Peter wheezed and leaned on his thighs, panting like a dog. Sirius gently patted his back. "If you're lucky Hooch will disappear after the first two games and you can avoid it. Even though you're a really good goalie.", he said and Peter looked up at him doubtfully.

"No Sirius is right, you really are unbeatable as a goalkeeper.", James said as the teams slowly formed, four in all. And Sirius was right because after the first two games Madam Hooch was actually gone without a trace and the three boys stayed on the bench. While Peter was telling Sirius how his mother had nearly bitten off his head the other day as soon as they had gotten home, James stared up at the ceiling of the hall and thought of Regulus. He still couldn't quite grasp how things could have changed so quickly.

At the beginning of the week Regulus had been nothing more to him than Sirius' little brother, and now? James couldn't think of him without his heart starting to flutter or his stomach feeling oddly warm. He had never felt like this before, not even when he was convinced that one day he would marry Lily Evans. Was it even possible to develop feelings for someone so quickly? James didn't want to just fall in love with the idea of someone, because that wouldn't be fair to Regulus either. He didn't want to make him an ideal that reality would never be able to live up to, and he didn't want to put him on a pedestal.

When James thought of him, he just wanted him the way he was. He wanted every crack in the china, every scathing word that escaped those pretty lips, and he wanted every flaw that made Regulus who he was. James knew Regulus wasn't perfect, not after what his parents had done to him, but who even wanted something perfect? And wasn't something so abstract as being perfect in the eye of the beholder anyway? According to his mother, Regulus might have been a disappointment. Something broken, that was no longer worth paying attention to.

But to James, it was precisely these imperfections in the beautifully painted canvas that made Regulus so unique and wonderful. Sure, he wasn't an easy person, sometimes he acted like a hurt animal that would lash out if you got too close and yes, he could be very mean, but James didn't think that made Regulus a bad person. On the contrary, he thought he was a good person who had had bad things happen to him but why should that make him less deserving of finding someone who really cared? Someone who wanted to look behind what you might see at first glance.

Regulus deserved someone who recognized more than the mess he undoubtedly was and who happily plunged into the chaos to be with him. And maybe that would be enough. James hoped so. James hoped Regulus wouldn't push him away just because he didn't think he deserved it. And James hoped it was real, that his mind wasn't playing some silly tricks on him, but as much as his heart had been racing when his lips had been inches away from his...you couldn't just imagine something like this, right?

"Oi, James. Look." Sirius nudged James, who almost flinched and lifted his head. Grinning, Sirius nodded in the direction of the field, where Marlene and Dorcas, who played on different teams, were clashing once again. "Come on Meadowes, even a blind man could see that this goal didn't count!", Marlene blared across the field, her hand pointed accusingly at the goalkeeper, who looked terribly uncomfortable in his own skin. "You know what I think McKinnon? I think you're just a really bad loser.", Dorcas sneered with a smug smile on her lips and Marlene's expression darkened.

James thought he heard her growl softly. "What do you think, shall we bet?" Sirius smirked, wiggling his eyebrows and James smirked too. "What, whether they will fight or kiss? You know very well that neither one nor the other will happen.", he said and Peter put his head back with a groan. "Ugh, I wish they'd get their sh*t together and realize that they're basically made for each other." "Hm, it will probably take a while for them to notice that.", Sirius murmured and watched as Dorcas and Marlene rushed towards each other and could only be pulled apart by their teammates at the last moment.

James, however, watched Lily and Mary sitting behind some gym mats, Lily on Mary's lap while the latter braided her hair. Lily was exuberantly talking about something, laughing every now and then and, dear God, Mary was staring at her so lovingly that James wouldn't have been surprised if a few pink cartoon hearts had popped up around her. It was so obvious that Mary had a crush on Lily and he was pretty sure Lily felt a little bit more than friendship for the other girl, too.

But Lily wasn't one to admit things lightly, after all, it had taken her a full three months to verbally confess to James that she no longer hated him. He didn't even want to imagine how long it would be before she managed to admit to herself that she had fallen in love with her best friend. Well, as far as that goes, James was probably the last one to judge with his bigass crush on Regulus. Suddenly there was a loud, shrill whistle that almost ruptured James' eardrum and when he looked up he saw Madam Hooch standing right next to him.

Immediately, all the students sitting around jumped up and pretended to do some sport, but Madam Hooch paid no attention to it. She urged everyone to gather around her as she had an important announcement to make. "Listen up everyone, soon the school will be holding a small sports tournament in which all grade levels will take part, including you, of course. Everyone will have to choose some sport and take part in one of the competitions. It's up to you which one you chose, but don't believe that you can somehow ditch the whole thing.", she explained, letting her piercing eyes, which had a rare yellowish tint, wander over the students, who all looked as if she had threatened to do only endurance running for the rest of the school year.

"By the way, your parents or friends from other schools will be allowed to attend the sports event. It's up to you whether you want to use that opportunity.", Madam Hooch added and then blew her whistle again. "Alright, you're all going to run one final lap and then we're done for today. Let's go!" Grumbling, they did as they were told before streaming back to the locker rooms to change. "I hate it when we have P.E. in the first period. You reek of sweat for the rest of the day.", Sirius grumbled, untying his hair tie and gently shaking his head.

"You hardly moved a muscle.", Peter replied, receiving a nudge from Sirius' elbow between his ribs. "He's just worried the physical exertion might ruin his hair." James chuckled and Sirius gave him an indignant look. "Are you on Peter's side now?", he gasped and clutched his chest causing Peter to roll his eyes. "I'm not on anyone's side, just stating the facts.", James giggled, wiping his glasses on the hem of his shirt. "Oh yeah? So then, shall we maybe discuss the fact that you've been staring into space like a fool in love for most of the lesson?", Sirius asked provocatively, hands on his hips.

James immediately choked on his own laughter. "You noticed that too, didn't you Pete?" "Oh yeah, I thought he was about to start drooling.", Peter agreed, nodding and Sirius raised his eyebrows, an unsaid question. James cleared his throat and tried to pull himself together. "You might draw your conclusions but a true gentleman stays silent and enjoys.", he mumbled and turned away from his friends, who promptly burst out laughing. James flipped them off but deliberately pretended to be more annoyed than he actually was because that way he could stay back and wait until everyone had already left the locker room.

Still, he couldn't avoid more questions about his bruised face, because while they were walking to their next lesson, the girls started asking too. James was sure that at the end of the day, every single student in the academy knew he had allegedly crashed into his closet given the fact that he told the story many, many times and it was probably a feast for the likes of Mulciber, Avery and Snape, but it was still a thousand times better than if they knew the truth.

"Have you seen how many embarrassing fan accounts there are for Spider-Man on Instagram? I mean, yeah, he's kind of hot, but don't you think that's overkill?", Lily eventually asked after the last bell set them free and they left the classroom. "You think he's hot?", Mary asked immediately, almost sounding hurt, whereupon the others exchanged meaningful looks, but said nothing. "Hm? Yeah, a little, I mean we don't know what he looks like, but that's not the point.", Lily quickly dismissed, noticing Mary's contrite look on her face.

"But there are also a lot of hate accounts and many newspapers also write a lot of sh*t about him, especially 'The Sun', but they've been doing that for years.", Marlene muttered, who had a strong dislike for the tabloid press. "Hate accounts?", James asked and Peter nodded. "And lots of f*cked up conspiracy theories, the internet is a really weird place mate.", he replied and James' hand automatically went to his pocket where his phone was. "Well, I have to go anyway. Mary and I have decided to study together.", Lily said, grabbing Mary's hand.

"Are we going to write a test tomorrow?", Sirius asked, looking out for Regulus among the crowd of other students. "You know, I won't answer that question simply because I hope your laziness will finally have some consequences.", Lily replied and Sirius gave her a smug grin. "Well, unlucky for you, I get good grades even when I haven't studied." "Yeah, which is bloody unfair.", Marlene grumbled and Sirius just shrugged. "Well see you, tomorrow guys." Peter waved to his friends and then ran to one of the countless cars that were now parked on Lupus Street.

James, with his mind elsewhere, also said goodbye to the others and then headed home. A walk that took only seven minutes by car and about 20 minutes on foot, but James didn't mind. He was way too busy digging through the depths of the internet and it turned out that Lily and Marlene were right, people really had a lot to say about Spider-Man. Most of the posts, blog entries and comments were positive, many thought it was cool that London now had its own superhero and were happy that there was someone supporting the police.

Others, on the other hand, shared Lily's opinion and admitted that he saved people, but also criticized that he practised vigilante justice and hid behind a mask. And then there were those who completely demonized his existence, claiming he staged the crimes himself, only to be celebrated and worshipped for his actions afterwards. For James, it was absolutely absurd how anyone could even think such a thing, but he found those who moved in the strange grey area between wild conspiracy theories and blind hatred much worse.

Those who claimed he was only making it clear that the world was broken, so shattered by its own corrupt systems that it would take a strong leader to rise above everyone to bring them back to the top. It sounded very much like a cry for a dictator, an all-powerful ruler who should take the right to decide that he was entitled to more power than others, and finally, James paused when he stumbled across an Instagram profile that was spreading that exact message. He knew the young woman in the pictures, it was Sirius' cousin Bellatrix.

She had finished school a few years ago and was now attending a university in London. James didn't know much about her except that Sirius hated her and that she was a bit bonkers. He found some posts with the caption saying she would prefer Spider-Man to be got rid of as he was only a hindrance to those who really want to make a difference. And many agreed with her in the comments, the pictures had countless likes, and in some photos, she was standing next to her sister. A woman with platinum blonde hair and James recalled Sirius describing her as very vain, more concerned with what other people thought of her and how other people saw her.

She looked pretty, but somehow her eyes seemed lifeless and in contrast to the chaotic energy her older sister seemed to radiate, she looked pale, fading into the background. James had never met either of them in person, only knowing the third sister as she always came to visit Sirius for his birthday and on Christmas, usually accompanied by her handsome boyfriend Ted, who was studying photography. Andromeda looked a lot like Bellatrix, but like Sirius, she had been the black sheep of her family and had cut ties with them after she started college.

The Blacks were a thoroughly traditional family with plenty of money, power and prestige, and there was no room for mistakes or imperfection. It was a cage, albeit a golden one, but a prison nonetheless, and both Andromeda and Sirius would have perished behind the walls of this prison if they hadn't left. James was pretty sure Sirius' parents didn't think much of Spider-Man either and probably considered him a nuisance and when he clicked on Bellatrix's recent story he found a post about last night's LCR break-in. She defended the burglars and claimed Spider-Man was the real villain here.

James frowned. Sure, there were definitely people who hated him for more or less understandable reasons, but somehow Bellatrix's hate speech against him felt a little too emotional. He read over and over the sentences she had written because something about them fed into a nagging feeling in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. With a frustrated sigh, James put his phone away and pulled his completely knotted headphones out of his backpack. Sometimes people were really ungrateful.

You reached out to them, offering them a helping hand and they complained anyway. But it didn't really surprise him. He'd read a lot of negative headlines about Spider-Man, and he knew he couldn't let that get to him. It wasn't about being popular or building a great image, it was about protecting the weak and rescuing the innocent, whether they wanted his help or not. Being unselfish was what heroes were all about, and James knew he must never lose sight of that or he would lose himself.

~***~

Regulus was slouched on the living room couch in a baggy dark green shirt, head in one hand and a book in the other, the cover of which Sirius couldn't see. He chuckled when he heard classical music playing softly in the background, but albums by Nirvana, MCR and Lana Del Rey were stacked on the shelves. Regulus really had a chaotic taste when it came to music. "What are you reading?", Sirius asked, throwing himself down on the couch next to Regulus, knocking a few of the small throw pillows to the floor. "The title wouldn't ring a bell with you.", Regulus mumbled absently, turning a page.

Sirius rolled his eyes and nudged himself into his younger brother's lap. "You know, just because I'm not a bookworm like you doesn't mean I'm a total literacy failure, okay?" Regulus snorted softly, then lowered the book briefly and looked down at Sirius, seeming a bit annoyed. "'The Secret History' by Donna Tartt.", he said, and when Sirius only opened his mouth briefly and then closed it again without saying a single word, he smiled and continued reading.

Sirius stayed in Regulus' lap and closed his eyes, listening to the quiet tinkling whose interpreter he probably didn't know either and when he was about to doze off, Regulus pushed him roughly off the couch. "By the way, we're out of food. The fridge's empty.", he said as Sirius hit the floor with a dull thud. "And I take it that you've pushed me onto the couch is your way of asking me to go shopping?", Sirius muttered, to which Regulus nodded without even looking at him. Sirius sighed but got up and grabbed his jacket. "Okay fine, do you want me to get you anything Reggie?", he wanted to know, halfway to the door when Regulus answered him.

"Walker's Mint Toffees." Sirius' toenails curled at the thought of that stuff, thinking it tasted like a forbidden mix of chocolate and toothpaste, but Regulus couldn't get enough of it, so he just made a small sound of agreement and left the flat. They had a small shop just around the corner and always had enough money to support themselves, although Effie would invite them over for dinner at least twice a week or let James bring over leftovers from the previous day so they could have more than just one hot meal a day. She worried a lot since the two had gotten their own flat, which was why Sirius and Regulus didn't tell her that there were days when they only ate microwaved stuff or fast food.

It was already getting dark when Sirius was finally on his way back to their flat and he passed a bus stop where three guys were hanging around, but he didn't pay any more attention to them. At least not until he heard a loud wolf whistle and a very husky voice yelled at him to stop. Confused, Sirius did indeed stop and turned to see the three men swaying towards him, who were obviously drunk. "Hey sweetie, do you want us to help you with the bags?", one of them offered and Sirius almost felt sick smelling his breath.

"Uh no thanks.", he quickly parried, hoping that would be enough to get rid of them and make the men realize he was a guy. Apparently, they thought he was a girl and had approached him thinking they could hit on him. "Awww come on, don't be like that. We're nice, we just want to help.", another slurred, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder, which he immediately tried to shake off. "I said no.", Sirius repeated urgently, looking around but the damn street was empty. He was completely alone. "Ah, you're playing hard to get, eh? That's okay, I like a challenge.", the third guy purred, roughly grabbing Sirius' chin.

"Oi, don't touch me!", he shouted and kicked the man in the shin with full force. "Argh, sh*t!" "Hah, would you look at that! The little kitty has claws!", one of the men laughed while his mate rubbed his aching leg. "Idiots..." Sirius turned on his heel and was about to leave when he was suddenly grabbed by the arms and jerked backwards. He stumbled, lost his balance and within seconds found himself in a back alley, a cul de sac cluttered with dumpsters and as he landed hard on the ground he could hear his heart pounding and the blood rushing in his ears.

"Now listen you little slag, we were nice but you had to be a bitch so now we have to teach you some manners.", Sirius heard one of the three men say, leaning over him now and he could feel their breath ghosting over his face and all of a sudden he realized how this would end. And it was like someone had unplugged a record player because Sirius couldn't react to anything anymore. He felt paralyzed, unable to move or speak, and his mind was blank except for a single, horrifying thought. The certainty that he would not be able to escape and that he was at the mercy of these three men.

As if that wasn't enough, his mother's cold, cutting voice suddenly echoed through his skull. 'Fear is like a poison that slows you down. Fear is a weakness. Don't be weak.' She'd said that to him the time he'd cut his hands while picking up pieces of a vase he'd broken and started to cry. If she could see him now, cornered like a frightened puppy, she would certainly call him a pathetic disappointment and turn her back on him. And Sirius hated that she was right about that.

It was pathetic how unable he was to help himself, and just as he felt several hands reach out to him, the sensation of their fingers digging into his skin forever burned into his memory, he vaguely realized that there was now a fourth person who had appeared out of nowhere. Tall, slim built, a little lanky, but still muscular, at least as far as Sirius could tell in the split second before the figure yanked one of the three men away from him and banged his head against the wall of the house.

The man collapsed like a wet punching bag and lay motionless, a large wound on his forehead so that his face was covered with blood within moments and what followed Sirius couldn't quite understand. It all happened too fast, voices screaming, there was a nasty cracking noise, and then all was quiet. Sirius stared at his shoes, his back pressed against the wall, his breathing so fast he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Then another pair of shoes came into view, sturdy black leather covered in blood spatter, and the fleeting thought that Spider-Man might be his saviour evaporated.

"Everything okay?" Sirius flinched, but the voice was a lot softer than he expected, even sounding kind of worried, and he slowly looked up.

A man loomed in front of him, dressed in a red suit with a mask that hid his face, but he didn't look threatening. Instead, he held out a hand and after a moment's hesitation, Sirius took it and allowed himself to be helped to his feet. "Are you alright?", the guy asked again and Sirius nodded, unable to form a complete sentence. And even the nod was a huge lie because absolutely nothing was alright, but at least he was unharmed and alive.

"Okay, good.", the guy said and suddenly a shaky 'Thank you' stumbled from Sirius' lips, since the masked man had just saved him. Said man, who was still holding his hand and certainly noticed how much Sirius was shaking, co*cked his head slightly and Sirius had the feeling that he was smiling at him. "No need to thank me and oh, the name's Deadpool by the way."

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Sirius blinked a few times and stared at the red and black mask, unable to say something or let go of his saviour's hand. Deadpool? That didn't exactly sound like a hero's name, and heroes didn't usually smash their opponents' heads, did they? It was always the bad guys who were brutal, most of the heroes had a morally justified 'I-don't-kill motto' and the guy standing in front of him certainly wasn't one of them. But he had saved him, that was a fact he couldn't ignore and since everything was a mess in Sirius' head at the moment anyway, he decided to just accept it.

Because to be honest, sometimes violence was the only solution, the one thing you could count on. The one thing you knew would work.

"Hey, you sure you're alright? You're shaking." A second hand settled on Sirius' shoulder and he flinched. "Hey shhh it's okay, you don't have to be afraid of me. I won't hurt you, I promise." Deadpool kept his hand where it was, almost as if he were waiting for Sirius to get used to the touch and maybe he was just imagining it, but he thought he could feel the other boy's body heat through the suit and somehow that calmed him down. The tremors didn't go away entirely, but the ringing in his ears subsided and his heart rate slowly returned to normal.

"Good, everything's fine, you're safe. Those bastards will never touch you again, I made sure of that." Sirius nodded absently, his gaze fixed on their clasped hands, too afraid to look anywhere else. Seeing a split skull wasn't really on his to-do list for today. "What's your name?" The question hit him completely unexpectedly and Sirius frowned as if he didn't know how to answer it. Why was the guy asking him his name? Why was that important? And why was he still here? The danger was gone, he could have fled long ago, but he was still standing here and hadn't moved an inch.

Sirius opened his mouth, but no sound escaped his lips, as if the words were stuck in his throat. Was it even wise to tell a total stranger who could obviously take down three grown guys his name? He could be a serial killer or a member of some dangerous gang or mafia and this was his tactic of luring in his victims before taking them down without any mercy. So why didn't Sirius' common sense kick in? Why was he so comfortable around this boy? He had known him for maybe three minutes, didn't even know what he looked like, and yet his body seemed to automatically sense that he could be trusted.

It was strange, especially when the logic in Sirius' head was just screaming at him to get the hell out of there, but for one thing, his legs still felt like jelly and also the feel of those two hands holding him and supporting him was exactly what he needed to keep him from collapsing. "Okay, let's make it fair. I'll tell you my name and you tell me yours. So, my name is Remus." Sirius co*cked his head slightly. "Remus?", he repeated, his voice sounding shaky but not entirely broken, which was a step forward.

"Yeah, pretty ridiculous I know, but oh well. We can't all be called Mark or Connor.", Remus replied with a nonchalant shrug and somehow that eased a bit of the tension that still had Sirius in its iron grip. "You don't happen to have a twin brother named Romulus, do you?", Sirius asked, because of course his stupid ass resorted to the only coping mechanism it knew. Cover things up with humour so that nobody noticed how horrible things actually were. "Nope, but admittedly that would be really funny.", Remus chuckled and Sirius felt him squeeze his shoulder lightly.

"But I have a middle name and that's probably the most boring, generic name to ever exist.," Remus continued and Sirius focused entirely on his voice, trying to block out everything else. "And what name would that be?" "John." There was a brief silence, a police car siren wailed loudly in the distance, and then Sirius chuckled softly. "Well, rest assured, my name is pretty ridiculous too.", he said, and in one fluid motion that he barely even noticed, Remus directed him out of the side alley and back onto the main street.

"Prove it.", he demanded, and Sirius was sure that if he had seen Remus' face he would have wiggled his brows playfully. "Sirius Orion Black, try to top that." "Okay, wow, that's...a lot, but really pretty to be honest.", Remus said, grabbing Sirius' arm. "Pretty?", Sirius echoed and would've collapsed on the ground in embarrassment had he known that he was blushing hardcore right now. Remus was kind enough not to point this out, as he had the perhaps unfair advantage that his mask hid any emotion that might unfold on his face.

The mask. Sirius wondered what was behind it, but since Remus hadn't offered to take it off, he quickly decided not to ask, as he certainly had a good reason for keeping his identity a secret. And after all, he didn't really know Sirius either. "Well, Sirius Orion Black, what do you think about me walking you home huh?", Remus suggested and although it was only a few blocks Sirius nodded because firstly, the thought of walking the streets alone made him want to curl up into a ball and hide forever and secondly, if he said yes he could spend a few more minutes with Remus.

"Okay great, one second." Remus let go of Sirius and ran back into the alley, but returned almost instantly, now holding the shopping bags that Sirius had dropped. "Oh, thanks.", he said, wanting to reach for them, but Remus avoided him grabbing them. "Nah, if I pull off this gentleman thing, I'll do it right.", he replied and Sirius smiled, feeling something warm bloom in his chest, and instead gave Remus the address and the two of them walked off. Hardly anyone was about, which was probably for the best because Remus wasn't really inconspicuous in his suit.

But then again, the people of London were now kind of used to seeing costumed men roaming their neighbourhoods. "And thanks again.", Sirius said when they finally reached the front door and he took the shopping bags from Remus, who shook his head. "Really, you don't have to thank me. Guys like that are everywhere and there's rarely someone around who can help, so...I'm glad I could.", he explained, putting a hand on the back of his neck, almost as if he were embarrassed about something, but Sirius didn't know what.

He reached into his jacket pocket for the key and when he looked up again, Remus was gone, swallowed up by the face of the earth. "What the...?" Sirius looked around, but there was absolutely no sign of Remus. "Weird." He unlocked the door and as he entered the hallway above, he heard Regulus before he saw him and then his little brother threw himself against him with incredible force. Sirius stumbled and staggered against the door of their flat, but Regulus still wouldn't let go.

He mumbled a slurred question into Sirius' jacket that he didn't understand as he wrapped his arms around him and apparently intended to squeeze hard enough to break his ribs. "Reggie, what's going on?", he asked confused and that's when Regulus snapped his head up, glaring at him angrily. "Are you f*cking serious?!" "Well..." "No, don't you dare make that f*cking joke or I'll kill you right now!", Regulus threatened and Sirius pressed his lips together. "Okay, I'm sorry, but...why are you so upset?"

"Why? Because you were gone forever, I texted you and you didn't answer and then it got dark outside and..." Regulus' voice cracked and Sirius suddenly realized that he had been afraid that he wouldn't come back. That, once again, he had left him alone and would never come through that door again. "Hey...Reggie, I'm fine. I'm here. I'm here and I'm not going away. I'm sorry you were worried.", he said and Regulus huffed, but it sounded more like a stifled hiccup. "Yeah, you better be.", he mumbled and Sirius gave him a hug, ruffling his hair like he had done it hundreds of times before.

"What happened?", Regulus asked after they had stood silently for a while and Sirius stiffened. "Nothing, I...the line at the store was just very long.", he answered, gently but firmly pushing Regulus away from him and then taking the shopping bags to the kitchen. Regulus followed him. "I don't believe you. You're lying." "I'm a bloody good liar.", Sirius replied, who had his back to him and was putting the milk in the fridge. "Yes, but you can't lie to me, I'm your brother. So what happened?", Regulus wanted to know and Sirius knew he wouldn't give up until he told him the truth.

But Sirius didn't even want to think about the truth himself, he just wanted to forget. "Oi, we promised that we wouldn't have any more secrets from each other.", Regulus reminded him and Sirius slammed the fridge door shut with a groan of frustration. "Okay, fine! I was just on my way back when three drunk guys chatted up and bothered me. They dragged me into a side alley and harassed me, but nothing happened. Are you satisfied now?" Regulus stared at him, all the anger drained from his face that suddenly looked like that of a child who had just experienced something horrible and Sirius felt the urge to hug him again when in fact he was the one who needed some comfort.

"You...did they hurt you?", Regulus finally asked and Sirius shook his head. "No." "But you're not okay, are you?" "No.", Sirius said again, avoiding Regulus' gaze and biting his lower lip to hold back a desperate gasp that was trying to fight its way up his throat. Regulus was with him instantly, one hand resting on his back, the other gripping his wrist. "Breathe.", he whispered and Sirius forced himself to exhale deeply through his nose and out of his mouth. It was a technique they had both perfected over the years whenever a panic attack threatened to overwhelm the other.

They had practised it to know exactly how to help the other in such a situation. Breathing sometimes helped stave it off, and when that didn't work, they held each other until it was over. "Just keep breathing.", Sirius heard Regulus say and although it sounded kind of muffled, he found that it worked and the ground stopped shaking beneath his feet. He kept breathing, concentrating on Regulus' finger, which was right on his pulse point, and then it was over. Regulus took a slow step back and eyed him with concern. "Better?" Sirius nodded. "Better.", he replied, ruffling his own hair.

"Okay, we should definitely go to the police.", Regulus said and Sirius laughed dryly. "Really? That's no use anyway, you know very well that they won't do anything." "Yeah I know, but it's worth a try, isn't it?", Regulus sighed, knowing that the police wouldn't give a damn and that absolutely nothing would happen if they did press charges. "That would just be a waste of time. And besides...it's not necessary.", Sirius said, putting the rest of the groceries in the fridge. "What? Why not?", Regulus asked, leaning against the small kitchen island.

"Uhm...because I think the three guys are dead. Or pretty badly injured, at least.", Sirius said easily, seeing Regulus' shocked expression out of the corner of his eye. "What the hell?! What have you done?" "Oi, I didn't do anything, okay? That was all Remus.", Sirius clarified, turning to face his brother, who was staring at him like he was a complete idiot. "Who the f*ck is Remus?" "He saved me. Just showed up out of nowhere, beat up the guys and then took me home.", Sirius explained and Regulus blinked a few times, as if his brain needed a few seconds to process that information.

"Some random guy showed up, beat up three grown men and then escorted you home?", he repeated and Sirius nodded. "Believe me, I know how crazy that sounds, but that's exactly what happened. And I don't even know what he looks like." Regulus raised an eyebrow, apparently unwilling to ask any more questions, and Sirius walked past him into the living room. "He wore a suit and a mask, all black and red and he calls himself Deadpool." "Deadpool? Sounds like the guy is not quite right in the head.", Regulus snorted and Sirius curled up on the couch.

"Yep, at first I thought I'd run into some lunatic too, but...I don't know, I kind of knew instinctively that I don't have to be afraid of him and that I'm safe with him. Does that make sense?" Sirius looked up at Regulus as he wrapped himself in one of the blankets piled there. "No...not really, but...you're still in shock so I'll bear with you.", he said, sitting down next to him. "That has nothing to do with it, I just...knew right away that I could trust him and that he wouldn't hurt me.", Sirius murmured, his gaze drifting slightly into the distance and Regulus' eyes widened.

"Oh, my god. You fancy him." "What? No! I don't, I'm...I...is it that obvious?" Sirius gave Regulus a contrite glance, who could only shake his head in disbelief. "You've only met once and the guy wears a mask, how can you fancy him?" "Oh come on, don't pretend you don't have a little crush on Spider-Man. Nobody knows what he looks like either.", Sirius argued and Regulus gaped at him, obviously offended.

"You take that back immediately!", he yelled, grabbing one of the pillows and smashing it in Sirius' face with full force. "Aha, so I'm right.", came the muffled reply and Regulus rolled his eyes. "We'd better try to find out a little more about your mysterious knight in shining armour.", he said and took his phone out of his pocket. If there was a way to legally stalk people, it was on the internet.

~***~

James didn't often have to prevent kidnappings or the like. It didn't happen that much in London, certainly not out on the open street, but tonight seemed to be an exception. He had barely crossed the Vauxhall Bridge when he heard the desperate cries for help, which were immediately smothered with gurgling sounds. In two swings James had left the bridge behind him, in front of him the high-rise buildings with their glass facades, towering above him and he spotted a familiar black van, the front part of which was parked on the sidewalk.

The engine was running, the sliding door was wide open and three black-clad, silver-masked people were trying to manoeuvre an elderly, balding man in a trench coat into the van. However, he resisted violently, threw his leather briefcase around and James didn't hesitate for a second. Perched on a street lamp, he whistled loudly and the scramble stopped instantly. "Hey, kidnap someone on your level instead!", he yelled and before either guy could reply, James swung feet first at them and slammed one of them into the pole of another street lamp, which swayed briefly at the impact.

"Come on dude, the gentleman here must have better things to do than let you kidnap him.", James said, grabbing the man's hand, who must have been a head and a half taller than him, and twisting his wrist so that he had to let go of the attempted victim. At the same time, he dodged a wild swing coming from the right, grabbed the attacker's elbow and used the momentum to throw him full force at his buddy, who was about to get out of the van. "What's going on?!", a bossy voice screeched and James realized it was the same voice that belonged to the woman who'd slipped through his fingers at LCR.

"Sorry guys but you can't park here. Didn't you see that sign there?" A head of dark brown, wild curls swirled around and James recognized her silver mask behind which a pair of eyes seemed to glare at him angrily. "You again!", she hissed and wanted to reach for something, but James wouldn't let her take him by surprise a second time. "Nah, not so fast lady.", he said reprovingly while using his legs to keep the guy outside at a certain, who had yet again grabbed the old man to prevent him from running away.

"Go away!", the one on the passenger seat, who probably wasn't assigned to do the actual kidnapping because of his lanky, skinny build, groped frantically for something in the glove compartment, but James just clicked his tongue, grabbed his neck and banged his head against the dashboard, so that he lost consciousness, groaning in pain. "sh*t, we have to get out of here!", huffed the one who had had a rather rough contact with the street lamp before, but now apparently was getting up again.

"No, no, no, you stay right where you are my friend.", James corrected and shot a web through the open window, which immediately glued him to the slightly dented street lamp. Still holding the woman's wrist, he pinned himself to the van's ceiling as the fourth guy made a running jump into the backseat to grab him, but true to his name, James scrambled onto the roof instead, not without first fixing the driver's hand to the buckle of her seat belt. "Are you alright, sir?", James asked the old gentleman who was sitting on the sidewalk, breathing heavily and he could only nod in a daze.

When the van suddenly started moving, James, to prevent losing his footing and tumbling down into the street, backflipped in the air and bounced back onto the street lamp. The van sped away leaving only the two guys, one of whom was unconscious on the ground. "Huh, they don't seem to have much of a sense of camaraderie leaving their own people behind like that.", James muttered to himself, then slowly rappeled down. "You're unharmed, aren't you?", he asked as he helped the gentleman up. "Uh y-yes, I'm fine. I uh...should probably thank you.", he replied, voice shaking slightly before clearing his throat.

"Oh you don't have to, although I appreciate highly it.", James replied, chuckling, straightening the man's rumpled trench coat. "You know what those guys wanted from you?" "No...but I suppose it has something to do with who I am. My name is Humphry Davy, I'm a chemist.", the old man explained and something in James' brain clicked into place. "Huh...that makes more sense than you think. But don't worry, the important thing is that they didn't get what they wanted." "It doesn't matter!", the guy who was tied to the pole of the street lamp with a web suddenly barked and James turned his head in his direction.

"What do you mean?" "Even without the old bastard, our plan will not fail. We will first free this city and then the whole world from its oppressors. A new order will emerge. And Voldemort will lead us into a new age.", the silver-masked dude yelped and James raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Voldemort? What a strange name..." But he didn't get any more information because after his emotional outburst the criminal fell silent and James left him and his unconscious colleague nicely wrapped up, ready for the police to pick up.

Crossing the Vauxhall Bridge back towards Pimlico, James took a quick breather on the roof of the Panoramic. "A new world order, huh? That doesn't sound good. Especially not when toxic chemicals are involved..." James swung his legs and looked down at the street where cars and a few pedestrians were scurrying around, looking more like toys than real things. Voldemort. What kind of stupid name was that? Was it the name of the organization they belonged to? Or was that a person's name? And what did it mean?

James spent half the night thinking about it, but couldn't find anything about it on the internet. All the world wide web spat out was the fact that the name was probably derived from the French 'vol de mort' which meant 'thief of death' but that didn't really help James either. Racking his brain over it cost him all possible sleep he might have gotten that night so that the next morning he didn't even realize that he had apparently been photographed the night before while chilling on the roof of the Panoramic.

Now the picture had been printed all across the newspapers, along with an article that described the thwarted kidnapping of the chemist. However, he was too tired to pay any attention to it and too tired to really listen to Sirius talk. He was too busy trying to avoid crashing face-first into the mashed potatoes on his plate. At least until Peter let out a shocked yelp that made James wince and blink at his friend in confusion. "W-What's the matter?" "Sirius was attacked last night.", Peter said and James was instantly wide awake.

"What?! What happened?!", he asked immediately and Sirius took a deep breath, almost as if he had to prepare himself. "I was out shopping for Reg and me and on the way back three drunk guys approached me. They probably thought I was a girl and...well they harassed me.", he explained, his voice unusually blank and Lily reached out across the table for his hand. "But they didn't hurt you, did they?" "No, thankfully not, but...their hands were all over me for a moment and that was just awful...", Sirius murmured, staring absently at his plate.

"Bastards. Did you go to the police? Did you report them?", Marlene wanted to know, but Sirius shook his head. "No, that wouldn't make a difference, you know that. They wouldn't have done anything anyway." "Yeah, but...they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.", Mary replied and Sirius shrugged. "But that's how this sh*tty world works. Especially for people like us." People like us... James knew exactly what Sirius meant by that, but what was a lot worse than the fact that the police liked to stand by when it came to crimes against queer people was the fact that he hadn't been there to help his best friend.

Sure, he had meanwhile saved someone else from a terrible fate, but still. Somehow James felt responsible for what had happened to Sirius. He had let him down. "How did you manage to escape from these disgusting assholes?", Peter asked then and Sirius winced slightly and his face and especially his eyes had a strange expression that James couldn't quite interpret. "Uhm...someone helped me.", Sirius said quietly and the three girls looked at each other before inching closer to Sirius, eager to know who had saved him.

"He um...his name is Remus and...I guess he's in a similar league to Spider-Man.", Sirius continued and Peter's eyes widened. "Is he a superhero too?" Sirius bit his lower lip and rocked his head slightly. "Not quite...Reg and I did some more research on him last night and...on the dark web he's mostly known by the name Deadpool. He's a mercenary, he uhm...kills people for money." "He's a hitman?!", Lily blurted out in bewilderment and Mary immediately put a hand over her mouth. "Shhh!" "I mean...sort of? Well, it seems he mostly kills the really bad guys. And he saved me.", Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, because he probably wouldn't have received any money for putting a bullet in your head.", Marlene remarked dryly and Sirius made a face. "He would never harm me, I know that." "How can you be so sure about that?", Peter asked and Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, I just know. Being around him...I felt safe." "When you say he's sort of in a league with Spider-Man...do you think he has superhuman powers too?", James wanted to know and Sirius frowned. "I don't know, it's quite possible. I mean he took out three grown men all by himself."

"Wow, impressive.", Mary remarked, and Lily ogled her reproachfully. "What? If it weren't for that Deadpool these guys would have done god knows what to Sirius. We should be grateful to him.", Mary said and James eyed his best friend. Sirius had always been good at hiding his wounds, especially when they weren't physical, and even though it could've been way worse, James couldn't shake the feeling that this had done more damage than Sirius was willing to admit. Suddenly the bell rang and, chattering loudly, the students left the cafeteria to return to their respective classes.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?", James asked muffled as they were swept down the halls in the stream of students and Sirius winced slightly. "I'm..." He paused, probably to weigh up whether he should lie or tell the truth and then he took a deep breath. "Not really, but Reg was there for me last night so it could be worse.", he mumbled and James took his hand. "You could have called, I would have come to you immediately and so would Pete." "I know, but...I think that would have been too much for me.", Sirius murmured but returned the slight pressure from James' hand and he knew he could count on Sirius to ask for his help should he need any.

"Have you found out anything more about your mysterious saviour besides that he's killing the bad guys for money?", he asked when they reached their classroom and Sirius shook his head with a disappointed groan. "No, and I don't know his full real name either, so the chances of finding him are very slim.", he replied, dropping into his chair. "But apparently he made a name for himself in the London underworld really fast." "Well, I'll be honest mate, maybe it's better that way. It's definitely dangerous to associate with someone like him.", Peter interjected, and while Sirius might not like it, he was unfortunately right.

James, on the other hand, was having trouble staying awake and having classes with Binns didn't make things any better. And when he felt his eyes getting heavy and his mind getting sluggish, he decided to just let it go. He was reliably woken up at the end of the lesson by Sirius, who seemed about to ask him why he was so tired, but then didn't. On the way to McGonagall's class, there was a commotion in the hallway and over the chatter of the others James heard a boy in his year yelling something.

Thanks to his heightened senses, he found it easy to filter out everything else and focus only on the voice of the boy, who he was pretty sure was the youngest of the Zabini family, a dynasty of similar status to the Blacks. "Oi, my parents aren't at home this weekend and I have the house all to myself so I'm throwing a party! And everyone's invited!", he roared and the crowd around him burst into loud jeers and cheers. "A party huh? Sounds fun.", Sirius said, a playful smirk curling his lips and James was about to reply when McGonagall threw open the door to her room, warning everyone to get to class immediately.

Quickly everyone scattered like a flock of startled sheep and James, Peter and Sirius scurried past McGonagall, who gave them a sharp, pointed look before loudly slamming the door shut and walking to the staff table, huffing softly. "Well then, let's get started.", she said, and everyone opened their books. However, the discipline didn't last long and little by little more and more students were staring spellbound at their phones and many weren't as sneaky as they thought.

"Mr. Pettigrew, would you mind sharing with me what is so infinitely more interesting than my class?", McGonagall asked tightlipped, towering over Peter like a fearsome harpie, and though he swallowed hard, Peter held out his phone to her. "Sorry ma'am, but it seems like there's a hostage situation downtown and...well, it looks pretty bad. Many people are already dead and the police are everywhere." McGonagall adjusted her glasses, her eyes darting across the display, and then she gave a soft gasp. "Oh, dear God..."

James stood and squinted over Sirius' shoulder at his phone, which was showing a news live feed. "sh*t..."

Peter was right. It was bad, very bad. And he was stuck here when he was supposed to be out there helping the people. But would he be able to just sneak out undetected without anyone noticing? What if someone saw him? The risk of being exposed was great, but still...he couldn't sit idly by here while people died elsewhere. Sure, no one had imposed that duty on him, but James still felt a sense of responsibility. "I'm uh...I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom.", he said, tapping Sirius on the shoulder, who nodded casually while everyone else was busy staring at their phones.

Quickly and quietly, James slipped out into the hallway, his backpack tucked under his arm. He'd never run off during class to get into the suit, as he'd always thought it was too dangerous, but if he was careful this time too, more people might die because of it, and James wouldn't be able to live with that. He scurried to the boys' bathroom, changed swiftly, and stowed away his backpack before climbing out through the narrow window and onto the school's roof. The hostage situation was taking place at the merchant bank in the West End, more than half an hour's walk away from the academy.

But if he was clever it would take him less than twenty minutes. James took a deep breath and put on his mask. "Alright, let's do this."

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

When James landed on the roof of the patrol car and there was a dull, slightly metallic noise, the officer standing next to him immediately drew his gun and pointed it at James' chest. "Don't worry officer, I'm here to help.", James said gently, sliding down the hood and putting his hands on his hips. "Tell me what happened." The man, who was already in his late forties, gaped at him, not even blinking, as if his brain was offline, overwhelmed with deciding whether to arrest James or accept his help.

Suddenly a gunshot ripped through the air and the surrounding passers-by cried out in shock, the police officers craned their heads and tried to see if there had been another victim. But that was next to impossible as there was only one door and no windows on the ground floor so the view was very limited. James looked intently at the officer. "Listen, I know that it might not suit you to have to admit that you need me, but this is about saving lives.", he explained firmly and at that, the man seemed to wake up from his paralysis and nodded stiffly.

"Alright, do what you have to do.", he said and James briefly put a hand on his shoulder. "I won't let you down.", he promised, and then jumped over the barrier the police had erected and walked through the door, hands held high, into the bank's interior. The bare marble floor reflected the flickering glow of the overhead lights, which had apparently been hit by a ricochet, and the decorative little planters had been knocked off their wooden pedestals, leaving dirt all over the floor.

Further back, at the end of the corridor, James saw two bank employees lying on the floor and as he slowly approached them he realized that any help would come too late for them. They were dead. One shot in the head and two in the chest, either the guy was a very good shot or he was just damn lucky. That in turn was important to know, because if he was a pro, it wouldn't be easy to dissuade him from his plan. This type of person pursued a goal to the bitter end without deviating from the path they had charted.

But maybe it was someone who committed a crime for the first time and had never killed before and if that was the case then James had a good chance of rescuing the remaining hostages. He must be nervous, the guilt must be already nagging at him and if he was clever he could persuade him to let everyone go unharmed. James knew his words would be crucial, so he began to think carefully about what he would say once they were face to face. Somehow he had to get him to trust him.

He wasn't part of the police force, which gave him an advantage, since he wasn't part of the system that many hated and which they felt was only letting them down anyway. Carefulness and prudence were the order of the day, James was aware of that and he closed the dead man's eyes before he got up, took a deep breath and walked on. Relying on his senses and especially his hearing, James followed the anxious whisper of low voices that echoed in his ears and as he peered around the corner he saw a short, stocky man wearing a faded yellow shirt. He was sweating profusely and his breathing was rapid.

The hand holding the gun was shaking. James felt a small part of the burden he was carrying at that moment fall away. Not a professional, he was completely inexperienced, had probably never been conspicuous in any criminal way before, certainly hadn't even crossed the street while the right light was on and now he had three lives on his conscience. At his feet lay a young bank teller, her auburn hair spilling over the mosaic decorating the floor and her light blue blouse soaked in blood.

Well, just because the guy wasn't an evil super genius didn't make him any less dangerous, quite the opposite actually. It made him unpredictable, and that was even trickier than someone ruthless following a precise plan. A ticking time bomb that could explode at any second. James straightened his shoulders and then cleared his throat loudly, causing the man to spin around with a high-pitched squeak, aiming the barrel straight at him. "S-Spider-Man?! What the hell are you doing here?", he asked confused, but James was busy scanning the room to make sure no one else was hurt.

The rest of the hostages, huddled in a corner and clinging to each other, looked terrified, but none of them seemed to be seriously injured. Okay James, you can do this, he thought, and then tried to sound as lighthearted as possible. "Well, I'm here for you, mate. It's obvious, isn't it?" "You're here because of me?", the man whispered and James nodded affirmatively. "Of course, I'm here for anyone who needs my help and that includes you. So how about we just talk a little for now, huh?", James suggested, hands raised to make sure that he would not pose any danger.

"I...I want the people out there to listen to me!" The man's voice cracked and James took a step back. "I know and right now absolutely everyone is listening. Let's start with your name. My name is Spider-Man. What about you?" "A-Albert.", came the trembling reply and James nodded gently. "Alright Albert and would you like to tell me what's going on? 'Cause when I look at you I don't see a stone-cold killer. Something happened, didn't it? Something that made you think you had no choice but to do this.", he continued and Albert pressed his lips together, his eyes glittering treacherously.

"They took everything away from me, everything. And now I can't feed my family anymore. We're on the brink and nobody's helping us, everyone's just watching.", he hissed, but behind these words, there wasn't as much anger as he would have liked to be. It seemed more like he was about to collapse. "Albert, I understand that this is a bad situation you are in, but these people here have nothing to do with it. They also have families, just like you.", James replied and Albert's gaze darted to the people sitting in the corner.

"I-I know...but if you don't show them, they'll never listen to us, they'll just keep ignoring us.", he muttered, sounding desperate. "Yes, life isn't always fair, but neither are you right now, aren't you? None of the three people you killed were to blame for the suffering that happened to you. Instead, you destroyed their world just by...pulling the trigger.", James explained and walked very slowly towards Albert, whose heart was pounding so loudly that James could hear it. "I-I didn't mean to b-but they didn't give me a choice..."

"But Albert, we always have a choice and you made a choice to hurt people. But you can still do the right thing." James held out his hand, he was now less than two feet from Albert. "Give me the gun." Albert flinched, staring at James, and that's when he knew he'd lost him. Yelling something James didn't catch because the adrenaline was just drowning out everything else, Albert turned and pointed the gun at the hostages, who were screaming, raising their hands in front of their faces in some sort of cover.

James reacted quickly, grabbing Albert's wrists, pushing himself off the ground and sailing down over him, pulling the man's arms towards him while diving away from the hostages. A gunshot rang out, echoing around the room with an unnaturally loud sound usually only seen in movies, but actually, that was probably the one thing Hollywood didn't overdo. Gunshots were very loud indeed, almost bloodcurdling, if the sound caught you off guard and if you fired a gun right next to a human ear it would probably rip your eardrums.

But all James heard was the heartbeats of the people he was trying to protect and the relief that none of the fluttering thumps disappeared even made him unaware at first that the bullet had grazed his upper arm. It wasn't a deep wound and certainly wouldn't leave a scar, and as unhealthy as that sounded, James was always glad when he was the one who got hurt, rather than those he was trying to save. He snatched the gun from Albert and pinned him to the ground, pressing his knee against his back and holding his hands.

"Well, sorry Albert but that means game over for you.", James said, fixing Albert's hands with a web before hauling him to his feet. "Okay, let's go." He looked at the hostages, who slowly got to their feet and together they went outside where all the surrounding passers-by broke into loud cheers and the police officers breathed a sigh of relief. James handed Albert to the officer whose car he had landed on, who then gave him a slight nod that was closer to a 'thank you' than anything he'd received before.

The police would probably never fully accept him, feeling their pride hurt by his very existence, but James didn't really care. He wasn't doing this to gain praise or recognition. He wanted to help and nothing more. "Woah, Spider-Man you're absolutely amazing!", a little boy who was hanging by the tail of his mother's coat hooted and James waved at him before walking away because his work was done and there still was a lesson to which he had to return. Unnoticed and unseen, James climbed through the still-open window back into the boys' bathroom and took out his backpack.

"sh*t, that hurts more than I thought...", he murmured and looked at the wound on his upper arm in the mirror, the dull pain of which was slowly beginning to set in while the adrenaline continued to subside. Making a makeshift bandage out of toilet paper, James slipped back into his school uniform, splashed some cold water on his face, and then returned to his classroom, where he could hear excited chatter behind the door. As he turned the handle and slunk back into his seat, McGonagall didn't seem to see him at all, too busy trying to get the agitated students back under her control.

"Hey I'm back, what did I miss?", James asked, taking his seat behind Sirius. He looked up, frowned briefly as if wondering what the hell his best friend had been doing in the loo for so long, and then shoved his phone right under James's nose. "Well, what do you think? Spider-Man showed up and rescued the hostages and caught the guy who stormed the bank.", he explained and James smirked. "Cool, sounds like he saved the day." "The police should be really thankful, without Spidey there would have been more deaths.", Peter agreed, apparently having lost his phone to McGonagall.

But all that stuck in James' mind was the last part of what Peter had said. More deaths...right, he hadn't been able to save them all. Three people had died, although he certainly could have prevented it. Simply because he hadn't been faster, because he hadn't gotten there on time. "Okay okay, now everyone please calm down so we can get on with our lesson, alright?", McGonagall sighed, who seemed to have had enough while the whispering slowly died down before vanishing entirely. "Good."

She turned to the blackboard and carried on as if nothing had happened, but James just couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. His thoughts were with the three people whose lives Albert had taken today. It was a painful fact that he couldn't save everyone, but James still stubbornly refused to accept that truth. He should at least try, shouldn't he? After all, heroes were the ones who always did the impossible, and if he gave up without knowing if he would truly fail, then he hardly deserved to call himself a hero.

James' mind was still on a merry-go-round as the day finally drew to a close, and while his friends seemed to notice he was somewhat absent, they didn't address it. That was probably mainly because it was very unusual behaviour for James and nobody knew what to do when James Potter wasn't in a good mood. After all, he was usually the one who cheered the others up. He was always the one with a smile that was brighter than the sun, the one with a funny line or a warm hug to offer. And the sun never lost any of its shine, did it?

James never thought of blaming his friends for being surprised when he was in a bad mood either, as that was really rare. And besides, he couldn't have told anyone about the dilemma that was bothering him, so it didn't matter, right? As soon as he got home, James threw his backpack into a corner, grabbed his laptop and sat on his bed. He needed a distraction now to not focus on his still-spinning mind and doing some research wouldn't hurt. He tried the name the silver-masked guy had given him again and by now he was pretty sure it was the name of the leader of the organization whose members he had dealt with twice now.

However, he didn't get very far, and that shouldn't really surprise him, since secret terrorist underground groups rarely peddled the evil plan they had hatched to shake the world. So he gave up and tried to find out about Remus instead, but again, the search only turned up what Sirius had already told him. The only thing that stood out was that Remus had apparently only appeared three years ago, out of nowhere, and then made a steep climb. And now he belonged to the elite when it came to the ranks of mercenaries the right amount of money could buy.

Most in this line of work had some sort of criminal history that could be tracked down, but Remus just seemed to have decided one day to work as a hitman from now on. That was indeed strange, but unfortunately revealed little to James about his character and even less whether he could be trusted or not. However, he had saved Sirius and James had never actually run into him before so trying to track him down and confront him would probably be a waste of time. Worst-case scenario, it would result in his own identity being revealed, and James couldn't risk that.

"Bollocks..." He took off his glasses and ran a hand over his face when suddenly there was a knock on his door and his mother stuck her head into the room. "Hey darling, Sirius and Regulus stopped by for dinner. Will you come downstairs, please?", she asked smiling and James ogled her in surprise before nodding, and Effie smirked, walking away, leaving the door ajar. James put his glasses back on and closed the laptop. Sirius hadn't texted him that he and Reg were planning to come over. "Weird."

Stepping out into the hallway, James suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. In all the chaos between the silver-masked criminals and Deadpool, something had nearly slipped his mind that was now hitting him full force again, like that one time when a truck had run him over during a chase. Regulus. He must be sitting downstairs in the kitchen now, waiting for him there. He would look at him with those grey eyes that would pierce his very soul like the blade of a dagger and James' heart skipped a few beats and he clutched his chest as if trying to keep his heart from breaking out of his ribcage.

His mind rewound a few days to when he had also gone downstairs to the kitchen and found Regulus there and how soft his thighs had felt beneath his fingers. So soft, like velvet, nestling against his hands. "sh*t James, calm down.", he whispered to himself, slumping back against the wall, head thrown back. A punch in the pit of his stomach was nothing compared to how he was feeling right now. As if Regulus were a weapon specially designed to bring him to his knees, a poison for which there was no antidote and the bad thing was that James didn't even mind.

As long as it was Regulus, he would happily accept his own demise. Was that a healthy thought? No, maybe not, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, and when he finally made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, his legs shaky and his arms feeling numb and tingly, James was almost certain he could hear the truck crashing into him with full speed. Pathetic, perhaps, how easily the mere sight of this boy could drive him insane, but dear God...how could it have been any other way? James had never stood a chance.

Not when Regulus looked so lovely, not when just the vague idea of touching him made him almost collapse. James was convinced that Regulus would ruin him and he would even beg him to do so. Being at his mercy would certainly be a gift. "Hey, you alright mate?" Sirius put a hand on James' shoulder and he winced as if someone had electrocuted him. "Huh? What? Er...yeah, everything's great.", he hastened to say, blinking a few times, which of course didn't change the fact that Regulus was still sitting at the dining table and seemed to be scrutinizing him intently.

"Okay then let's eat. I'm hungry and your mom made these awesome meat pies." Sirius playfully pinched his side and then took a seat at the table next to his brother and James had to remind himself to pull himself together before walking stiffly to his chair and sitting down. "I think it's great that you decided to visit us. I missed my boys.", Effie sighed fondly, gently ruffling Regulus' hair and kissing Sirius' forehead as she walked past them. "Oh by the way, how is Andromeda doing?", Monty asked, blindly taking his wife's plates laden with steaming, deliciously smelling food.

"Andy? Oh, she's great, she says she's enjoying university and of course, she's a natural and does everything like it's child's play.", Sirius replied, about to grab his fork when Effie slapped him on the back of his hand, eyebrows raised but with a mischievous grin tucked away in the corner of her mouth. "She said Cissy still texts her regularly, but most of the time she just asks her to come back. I guess she still hopes things can go back to how they used to be, but I doubt it. At least not with how things are between Andromeda and Bellatrix.", Regulus continued and Sirius nodded.

"Hm, and besides, Andy would never voluntarily return to this snake pit." "Well, in the end, it's her choice, isn't it? They're her sisters and she loves them no matter what. She's not that dissimilar to you two in that way.", Effie remarked, sitting down next to Monty. Regulus and Sirius exchanged a quick look and James had a feeling this was one of those moments where they would pull off that weird telepathy thing, like they could have entire conversations without even having to say a single word. It was almost a bit scary, but for siblings, it was probably normal.

"Now eat before it gets cold.", Effie urged gently and they did, and as his mother's warm meal filled James' stomach, he felt the knot in his guts slowly loosen and some of the tension, that had been holding him just fizzled out. "And how are you Sirius, huh?", Effie eventually asked after a while and Sirius frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" "Oh darling, do you think I don't know what happened yesterday? That you were attacked?" She sounded almost accusing as if disappointed that Sirius hadn't informed her right away, and Sirius swallowed hard.

"I uh...I didn't mean to upset you.", he squeaked sheepishly and Effie shook her head with a sigh. "Surely you knew I would find out one way or another and that I would be worried, sweetie." "I know...but it really isn't as bad as you think it is. I'm fine.", Sirius replied and Monty sat back. "Did Spider-Man save you?" Sirius paused, his eyes darting briefly to Regulus and then to James, who stared back steadily, and then Sirius nodded. "Yep." "Really? Well if that's the case I'm grateful for him but I really hope he doesn't take on too much.", Effie said, standing up to clear away the empty plates.

James lifted his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means that Spider-Man is just a boy like you are one. I think a lot of people forget that. Yes, he has superpowers and he wears a mask, but he's still only human. And if you make it your mission to protect others, then you have to be careful not to lose yourself in the process.", Effie explained, her back to him. The dishes rattled, she turned on the faucet and then water splashed into the sink. James stared at her. "Lose yourself?", he asked and Effie gave a quiet hum.

"Hm, you can't save everyone, that's just the way it is and if you don't accept that then you end up sacrificing yourself and that's dangerous. I hope he realizes that." She turned around holding a plate to her chest that she was drying with the tea towel and for a moment James thought he was completely naked and that his mother could see absolutely everything. Every secret, every lie, everything he had ever kept from her and he felt a little sick. "But right now I'm just grateful to him for saving Sirius from worse.", she then said, turning to Regulus and Sirius.

"And that's exactly why you two are staying here tonight. It's dangerous out there." "Okay.", the two brothers said in one breath, because absolutely everyone knew that disagreeing with Effie was like trying to get a rock to move. It was totally useless. "Well, a slumber party sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Like back in the old days.", Monty chuckled amused and most teenagers would have rolled their eyes and moaned that they were already too old for this kind of stuff, but not James and Sirius.

The two grinned at each other with bright eyes and when Regulus was offered the prospect of building a pillow fort, he too became enthusiastic about the undertaking. Effie made everyone hot chocolate and each of the boys could put in as many mini marshmallows as they wanted. And although Regulus was a very strict and demanding building contractor, James couldn't remember the last time he had felt this lighthearted. "I think this is by far the best pillow fort we've ever built.", Sirius said when they were finished, grinning widely, his cheeks flushed and Regulus laughed.

James instantly sucked in that sound as he rarely heard Regulus laugh despite it being such a beautiful tune. And to see Regulus laugh, his lips curling up and his eyes seeming to glow in the dark like two bright full moons, that was a sight James wouldn't have minded if it was the last thing he ever saw. Surely any author of a sappy cheap novel would have turned green with envy if he could hear James' thoughts, but he didn't care if the way he thought of Regulus was cheesy, for he wasn't ashamed of being a romantic.

"Why don't they build real houses out of pillows?", Sirius yawned, running his fingers over the fluffy blanket the three of them lay on, squished together like in a sardine can. "Because they can't, you idiot.", Regulus replied, slightly annoyed, but even in the dim light surrounding them, James could see he was still smiling. The warmth emanating from Regulus rushed through James' body and it would be so easy for him now to take his hand and press his lips against his neck at the very spot that would hopefully draw a sweet sound from Regulus' throat.

"Ugh, why are you always being so mean Reggie?", Sirius groaned and rolled onto his stomach so that Regulus was pressed even tighter against James and their fingers touched. "He's not mean.", James blurted out before his brain had a chance to check the words rolling off his tongue, and Sirius gave him a surprised look before bursting out laughing. "You don't have to defend him, he knows he can be a real mean prick sometimes.", he giggled, but neither James nor Regulus said anything.

James mentally cursed himself for opening his mouth without thinking first and Regulus didn't say anything because he was busy staring at James. James couldn't read the look he was giving him in the semi-darkness. He could barely organize his own thoughts, how was he supposed to be able to correctly decode complex interpersonal interactions? That look could mean anything. Confusion, surprise, anger. Regulus wasn't an open book but a closed lock and James had no idea what was going on inside his head.

Should he apologize? Sure, but for what? Or was it better just not to say anything at all?

James swallowed, wanting to slide away from Regulus but there was no room and the heat building up between them was becoming unbearable. Electricity seemed to build up between their fingertips, touching each other ever so slightly, and only a spark would have been enough to ignite a fire. And just as Regulus, who was staring spellbound at James as if he was seeing him properly for the very first time, opened his mouth to say something, there was a soft snore that made them both jump. James glanced over Regulus' shoulder and saw that Sirius had fallen asleep.

The moment that might have resulted in something was over and Regulus cleared his throat softly, turned quickly onto his other side and then mumbled a soft 'Good night'. James couldn't even bring himself to say it back because somehow he couldn't really follow what had just happened. For a split second, he thought something monumental would happen, like an avalanche would roll over him, but then nothing happened. Nothing at all. That didn't feel right, kind of like not blowing out the last candle on a birthday cake.

James was tempted to shake Regulus by the shoulder, to demand that he say what he wanted to say, but he knew Regulus well enough to know that doing so would only cause the opposite to happen. So he had no choice but to admit defeat and was content to scoot a tiny bit closer to Regulus and gently press his forehead against his neck before closing his eyes and letting sleep take him into its depths. The plan to patrol like he did every night had slipped away somewhere between Regulus's laughter and the smell of his skin.

~***~

Friday, 5:40 am - Belgravia, London

"What the f*ck Evan, what do you mean he sprayed a police car?!" It was Regulus' strained hissing voice that woke James and the first thing he felt when he opened his eyes was a dull pounding in his shoulder. sh*t, he must have been sleeping on the side where the bullet had grazed his upper arm. "No I heard you, I mean what was that idiot thinking?!", Regulus grumbled and James, careful not to wake Sirius, scuttled out of the pillow fort. The sun was just coming up outside his window so it must be very early, so why on earth was Regulus already up?

"Ugh, one day he'll end up in jail for some stupid thing like that..." James crawled on all fours across the floor to his bedroom door, which was open a tiny crack, and peeked through. Regulus was leaning against the opposite wall of the hall and was talking on the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose, his face all tenses up like he had a very bad headache. James could hear Evan's voice very softly, but couldn't make out exactly what he was saying. "Of course...oh bloody hell, please take care of him, okay?" Regulus tilted his head back and sighed.

Evan replied something and then Regulus hung up, let out a mumbled curse and before James could react, Regulus pushed open the door which promptly collided with James' forehead. "Ouch!" "James? What are you doing down there? Were you...were you eavesdropping?", Regulus asked while James rubbed his aching forehead. "Not on purpose.", he murmured, which was true, and when he looked up he was staring straight into Regulus' face as he knelt right in front of him. "What did you hear, huh?", he wanted to know and James swallowed, his whole mouth suddenly feeling drier than the Sahara.

"I uh...just that Evan's supposed to watch out for someone. I assume it's about Barty.", James answered and Regulus eyed him for three agonizing seconds before sagging onto his bum with a groan of frustration. "Yeah, he must have thought it a good idea to do some vandalism last night. He sprayed 'f*ck The Police' on one of their cars and is now overjoyed that he didn't get caught and that Spider-Man didn't spot him.", Regulus explained, and though James was listening intently, he found it hard not to focus on Regulus' legs, which were now kind of tangled with his.

"Evan is worried and so am I. At some point, one of those stunts he's pulling will backfire and he could end up in jail or get hurt..." Regulus ran his fingers over the dark screen of his phone and James felt the urge to take his hand. But...wait, was Barty bragging to everyone about Spider-Man not getting him? What was he thinking? James hadn't caught him solely because he hadn't been on patrol at all last night. On the other hand...he had also successfully slipped through the cracks of the police and somehow James found that strangely impressive.

At the same time, however, he somehow got ambitious and decided to stop Barty next time. Maybe it was silly to feel his pride hurt by something like that, but James had a reputation to lose. "Well, I'll talk to Evan when we meet at school later. It would be reckless to just leave Barty to his own devices.", Regulus continued, suddenly wincing because without even realizing it, James actually had reached out to him, his fingertips now very gently touching Regulus' wrist. Time seemed to stand still for the blink of an eye and they just gaped at each other in amazement and then James realized what he was doing.

"sh*t! I-I mean I'm sorry, I uh...I just wanted...uh to be honest I have no idea what I wanted but you seemed down and...I guess I kinda wanted to help you.", James stammered helplessly and immediately pulled his hand back as if he had burned himself. Regulus blinked a few times, ogling him like a deer in headlights before doing something James hadn't expected at all. He laughed softly, then looked away almost ashamed, his cheeks heating up and then he stumbled to his feet and disappeared into the bathroom.

James stared after him, his brain utterly unable to process what had just happened when, groaning like a grumpy old man, Sirius scrambled out of the pillow fort. "You two wankers have any idea how early it is? We could have slept for at least another hour.", he muttered glumly, his face crumpled from sleep like an old umbrella, but his hair falling like a curtain of perfect, pristine black silk over his shoulders. James was pretty sure it was something genetic. A trait shared by all members of the Black family.

Blessed with hair that always looked great, even right after waking up, no matter how much tossing and turning there had been during the night. It was pretty unfair, especially since James' hair just always looked like a bird had nested in it, no matter how much conditioner he slapped into it every time he showered. "Oi, I'm talking to you, you idiot." Sirius slapped James full in the face and he licked his hand in return, causing Sirius to yelp and jump up to pounce on James.

"You're going to pay for that!", he hissed and James couldn't help but laugh as they rolled on the floor like two puppies just figuring out how to use their four paws in the first place. "Oi, by the time you two are done acting like complete fools, Effie is up and making us breakfast." Regulus loomed over them, arms folded across his chest, and he looked down with horrid disdain at James and Sirius, who looked at each other briefly and then burst into barks of laughter. Regulus huffed, rolled his eyes, and then walked away, leaving the two of them alone.

"You know, sometimes I'm convinced that there are two separate minds within Regulus, always and constantly struggling for control of his body. That would at least explain why he's acting like a total wanker and then suddenly behaves like a little kitten the next second.", Sirius said, getting off the floor. "Well, I guess that's just how he is.", James replied, not saying that, in his opinion, that was exactly what made Regulus so incredibly interesting. It was almost impossible to predict what he would do or say next and some might find that exhausting but not James.

It spurred him on, drove him to look behind every locked door and tear down every wall Regulus had built. He wanted to take him apart piece by piece and find out everything there was to know about him. "Come on, let's go eat. I'm hungry." Sirius nudged James on the shoulder and he nodded absently. As he changed he took a quick look at his upper arm in the mirror, but thanks to his superhuman self-healing powers the wound was already half healed and he hastily buttoned his school uniform shirt before running downstairs, where the smell of fried eggs, beans and bacon welcomed him.

Chapter 7

Chapter Text

Like last time, Monty insisted on driving James, Sirius and Regulus to school and like last time, Sirius grabbed the passenger seat. This in turn meant that James and Regulus were once again sitting in the back together and James mentally wondered if it was some kind of cosmic joke that, yet again, something had happened between them that wasn't really a secret but felt like they had done something forbidden. Something they couldn't talk about but it was still there, wavering between them and James knew it wouldn't go away.

Madonna was on the radio this morning after Monty had turned off the news and frantically searched for a channel that wasn't reporting on how awful the world was. Not that that's anything new. The world felt like it had ended years ago, but it still went on and James agreed with his father that in this case, Madonna was a far better option than having to listen to the endless whining about the fact that everything was coming to an end. Anew.

Though James could barely concentrate on what Madonna was singing as Regulus was sitting only eight inches from him and now that taking his hand was no longer just a vague idea but a very detailed image in James' mind, it was somehow even harder to resist. "When you call my name, it's like a little prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.", Sirius sang much more motivated than James would have given him credit for, after being deprived of a whole hour of precious beauty sleep.

And James listened to the lyrics just intently enough to feel kind of screwed by the universe, because...how much did it want him to look in the mirror? As if he didn't know well enough himself that it wouldn't take more than a single word from Regulus to bring him to his knees. Crawling in front of him, pleading and begging to be allowed at least to whisper his name, while Regulus was so gracious as to allow James to touch him, if only to kiss his feet. "Everything okay?" Regulus gave him a questioning look and only then did James realize that he had been staring at him rather shamelessly.

"Uh...yeah, everything's fine. I uh...was just...thinking.", he then stammered, which was so incredibly revealing that James wondered how he'd managed to keep it a secret from everyone that he hunted the bad guys at night in a red and blue spandex suit. And Regulus was far too clever not to miss such a thing, but he was tactful enough not to bring it up, so he didn't ask what exactly James had been thinking about, just nodded curtly and then looked out the window again. And for some strange reason, James was disappointed.

Sure, he had absolutely no idea what he would have answered if Regulus had asked him what was on his mind and at worst some embarrassing, totally unfinished compliments would've stumbled past his lips, but still. He couldn't stop his stupid heart from clinging to what had happened between them earlier, whatever it had been. But Regulus had laughed and blushed, he definitely hadn't imagined that and maybe he had naively believed it would change something.

Except that this wasn't the way how Regulus worked and James knew that and there was no way he could force him to give him something he didn't want to share. Besides, he had no right to be disappointed at all. Because...how could he? Staring at each other like two idiots sharing a brain cell wasn't even particularly romantic and maybe he shouldn't pride himself on it as much as he did. Still, James felt like he was stuck in a dilemma he had created for himself because, on the one hand, he didn't think he could make the first move because it might scare Regulus.

On the other hand, he was afraid to wait because if he did there was a good chance that Regulus, out of sheer stubbornness, would never admit that he might like him, not even a tiny bit. James sighed softly, looked away and rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window. Hard to believe, but fighting criminals was way easier than dealing with what Regulus was doing to him. "Alright boys, here we are. Take care.", Monty said as he parked on the side of the road while the radio started playing a Queen song.

"See you this afternoon dad.", James said and Monty waved at him with a smile before driving off after they had gotten out of the car. For a split second, there was an odd silence that probably only James and Regulus found awkward, for Sirius casually swung the straps of his backpack over his shoulder and loosely linked arms with James. "Let's go find Pete and the others. Bye, Reggie." Regulus raised his hand without a word, his face again wearing that brooding expression James had seen on him many times before and somehow he couldn't manage a sensible goodbye before Sirius dragged him away and he lost sight of Regulus.

And James didn't really have much time to worry about whether the brooding expression might have been aimed at him either because Peter was already waiting for them at the lockers. "Morning, you good?", he asked, his gym bag tucked under one arm while the other clutched some loose slips of paper and his chemistry book to his chest. "Effie made us breakfast so...yeah, if I could have slept an hour more it would have been the perfect morning.", Sirius replied and James rolled his eyes.

"We didn't wake you up on purpose and I even tried to be quiet.", he grumbled and Sirius raised an eyebrow as if to indicate that this was total bullsh*t. "Mate, quiet is when I have a wank in your shower without anyone noticing." "W-What?" James blinked at him in perplexity, not quite sure if he should be disgusted or mad and while his brain was still trying to find the right answer, Peter shook himself and let out a small choking sound. "Ugh, too much information."

"It's nothing new that Sirius can't shut up, is it?" Marlene suddenly appeared out of nowhere and poked Sirius in the cheek with her finger so that he glared at her angrily, which lasted about two seconds before a grin crept onto his face. "Yeah, but can we maybe go back to you desecrating our shower?", James asked in amazement but Sirius just made a dismissive gesture. "Pffff desecrated, don't be so dramatic Jamie.", he trilled and James let out an incredulous laugh. "And that's coming from the biggest drama queen in existence."

"Well, he's the benchmark.", Mary commented, who had just joined them with Lily in tow. "Uhuh, and compared to that, I'm not even worth an outraged post on Twitter.", James replied and Lily nodded in agreement. "Tragically scandal-free, you need to work on your reputation." "Oh good point, Evans!", Sirius exclaimed, squeezing James' arm which was still intertwined with his and Peter co*cked his head slightly. "Ohhh, I know that face.", he smirked, and James immediately forgot the unholy revelation about what Sirius had done in the shower at his parents' house. "Whatever it is, I'm in."

"Okay, wait a minute, what did we just miss?", Marlene wanted to know, but Lily didn't seem to need an explanation. "You're hatching some stupid plan again." "Excuse me, these aren't stupid plans, they're real strokes of genius.", James corrected and Lily pursed her lips as if trying to refrain from coming up with any scathing counterargument. "Exactly and it's been way too long since our last prank. It's about time we remind the others who the marauders are.", Sirius announced and Marlene snorted.

"Didn't you give yourselves that stupid nickname back in year seven? And you still use it?", she sneered, amused, and Sirius pulled Peter over so the three of them formed an inseparable unit. "That's not just a nickname, McKinnon. It's a definition of what we are and you shouldn't joke about it.", he replied diplomatically and Marlene rolled her eyes. "But don't you think you're a bit old for this kids' stuff by now? Besides, it'll only get you in trouble again.", Lily said, but Sirius just shrugged. "It's our last year and when we go, we want to leave something meaningful behind."

"A legacy.", Peter added and Sirius nodded solemnly. "And that legacy is supposed to be for the teachers to remember that you guys were extremely annoying, immature, childish troublemakers?", Lily asked doubtfully, crossing her arms over her chest. "No, they will remember that we were extremely clever, creative and daring troublemakers.", James replied and Lily sighed deeply. "Okay, I give up." "Well, I think you'll have a hard time topping last time's prank.", Mary said and Sirius rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's difficult for geniuses to surpass themselves over and over again."

"Well yeah, the foam explosion really was one of our best works.", James agreed, chuckling, remembering Slughorn sitting dejectedly amidst all the bubbles and ultimately resigning himself to his inevitable fate. It had been an absolutely amazing day. "So whatever comes to your mind... I'm in.", Marlene said suddenly and everyone looked at her in surprise. "Wait, are you serious?", Lily asked, almost accusingly, and just as Sirius was about to open his mouth to utter the very old and now extremely worn-out pun, Peter covered his mouth.

"Yes, why not? I think the boys could use our support and our creative input.", Marlene said with a shrug and Lily looked at Mary for help, but she only smiled at her mischievously. "Could be funny, Lils." "Oh my f*cking god, I can't believe that.", she exclaimed in desperation, ruffling her red hair. "Well, looks like you're outnumbered." James grinned and Lily glared at him with emerald eyes, but then the anger gave way to something else and there was an unusually long silence before Lily took a deep breath and clasped her hands on her hips.

"Fine, you leave me no choice. I'm in too." Before either Sirius or James could say anything that would express their confusion, Mary let out a squeak of delight and threw her arms around Lily's neck. "Yes, this going to be great!" "Oi, I'm just here to keep an eye on you guys and make sure you don't overdo it.", Lily clarified, but James didn't miss the way she put a hand on Mary's hip. "For my sake, don't try to slow us down, okay Evans? That's our area of expertise you're in.", Sirius replied and Lily huffed softly as if she'd rather sink into the ground than admit that Sirius was right.

But that was a done deal and they immediately started making plans, with the occasional objection from Lily when she felt something was too extreme. They were almost late for P.E. because of it, but they slipped into the separate locker rooms just in time to avoid risking penalty push-ups. However, this rush also meant that James couldn't skilfully avoid changing in front of his friends like last time and so Peter let out a loud gasp when James took off his school uniform.

Admittedly, it didn't look as bad as it did a few days ago, thanks to his self-healing powers, but his upper body was still covered in fading injuries, which were no longer purple or red but had slowly turned pale green and then into a yellowish hue. "James...holy sh*t, what the hell happened?", Sirius asked, eyeing him with concern and James tried desperately to come up with a semi-plausible explanation, but as always in moments where spontaneity would have been of great help, his head was swept clean.

"Uhh...it's not as bad as it looks.", he said, knowing that he didn't sound convincing at all. "Really? You look like you've had a run-in with a street gang.", Sirius remarked, eyebrows furrowed. "Or like you fell down the stairs. Very badly.", Peter added and James was annoyed that he hadn't thought of that as an excuse. "Listen, I'm just very clumsy, okay? You really don't have to worry.", James explained defensively and quickly put on his sportswear. Neither Sirius nor Peter seemed particularly convinced.

"You know, I hate being the responsible one of us, but...if there's something wrong, you have to tell us.", Sirius replied, sounding alarmingly wary, as if he was scared of James breaking into a million pieces and that confused him more than he would've expected. Maybe because Sirius had never spoken to him that way before...or anyone at all. "I-I know, but...it's okay. I'm okay. You can trust me.", he said and Sirius pressed his lips together in what seemed like trying to force himself to believe James and that's what made the whole thing somehow even worse.

So he did the only thing he could think of, smiled brightly, threw an arm around each of his two best friends' shoulders and steered them forward into the sports hall. It was the same as usual since P.E. was the only class even less varied than History with Professor Binns. And as always, Hooch was suddenly nowhere to be found after half an hour. "How does she always do that? Does she secretly teleport? And where the hell does she go?", Mary asked, crouched between Lily's thighs, her chin resting on the other girl's knee.

"I don't know, maybe she's leading a secret double life.", Lily suggested, and suddenly there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that James had always liked. "As what? As a stripper who's always late? If that's not part of her show, that would be very ineffective.", Mary pondered as if the thought actually bothered her and Peter frowned. "Working as a stripper doesn't suit her at all. And besides, that's now an image I'll never be able to get rid of because it's burned into my brain forever. Thank you Mary.", he muttered and Mary grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "No problem Pete."

"But he's right, I could picture you a lot better as a stripper, for example.", Lily continued the thought while her fingers played with Mary's wild, dark curls. "You think so, yes?", Mary asked and tilted her head back to look at Lily and James and Sirius gave each other a meaningful look that included a raised eyebrow because...how the hell weren't they able to tell that they were flirting with each other in an absolutely shameless way? James was aware that he himself could be quite oblivious at times, but this really was some next-level stuff.

And it got even worse when Lily started listing some of the qualities that Mary had that would undoubtedly make her perfect for the job as a stripper. And Mary laughed and giggled and blushed and nuzzled her cheek against Lily's freckled legs. "Well, I'm really not the most reliable source when it comes to matters of love, because that's just not my cup of tea, but how on earth can it be that the two haven't figured out that they like each other?", Peter whispered and Sirius let out a deep, almost desperate sounding sigh.

"I don't know, but at least they can flirt with each other.", he said so incredibly plaintively that it immediately got James' and Peter's full attention, leaving Lily and Mary to their own devices. "Is there anything you want to tell us?", James asked, wide-eyed and resting his chin on Sirius' shoulder. He suddenly seemed to notice what he had just said, blinked a few times and then opened his mouth to miserably deny what his friends already knew. "No, I...I just wanted to say that I, uh...maybe I'd like to have someone to flirt with, too. I'm lonely.", he explained shakily, and James laughed.

"Mate, there are many things you are really good at, but portraying yourself as pathetic is not one of them, your ego is too big for that." Peter nodded expertly. "I agree with James, you're not meant to put yourself down which means you pretty obviously just lied to us, which implies there's already someone who a) you would like to flirt with or b) you already have flirted with." Sirius made a scowling face. "You know, Peter, sometimes your gift of comprehension and deduction really sucks.", he grumbled and seemed like he wanted to curl up into a ball and sulk. That was one of his great talents after all.

"Come on, we spend so much time together that there's really no way we could have missed the fact that there's someone you're fancying.", James urged, for whom it was a more than welcome break to concentrate on the love life of someone else for once, even if he didn't yet know exactly which dimensions of chaos he was about to enter. "If I tell you, you'll either think I'm crazy or stupid...or both.", Sirius said painfully and Peter nodded again. "It's quite likely, but we're your friends so we'll at least try to be nice about it."

Sirius stared at him in frustration, but then resigned himself to his fate, huffing loudly and then mumbling something only James understood at first. "Wow... I guess I should be surprised now, but somehow I'm not.", he said and at Peter's questioning look he added: "He fancies the mercenary who saved his life." "I don't fancy him, I...just... I'd just really like to see him again, to appropriately thank him for beating up the nasty bastards who harassed me. That's all.", Sirius claimed so vehemently that neither James nor Peter needed to point out that it was another lie.

"Okay, at the risk of repeating myself, but didn't I just recently explain that it would be better and healthier and less nerve-wracking for everyone involved if you didn't try to see him again?", Peter asked and Sirius paused with a groan, head thumping back against the wall and he closed his eyes. "I'm not stupid Pete, I know what he is and what he does to make money, but somehow...I can't forget him. And yes, I'm aware that liking a guy whose face I don't know is questionable and I've only talked to him for maybe ten minutes but..." "Ah, so you do fancy him.", James smirked and Sirius gritted his teeth.

"Not now James." "Okay okay, but you do realize you can't just call him, right? You don't even know his full name and intentionally putting yourself in danger Bella Swan-style just to maybe see him again, is not something I would recommend.", James said and Sirius' eyes flew open. "Did you just make a reference to Twilight?", he asked, dumbfounded, the corners of his mouth twitching a tiny bit. "Yes and I refuse to be ashamed of it.", James replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Well, somehow I thought your guilty pleasure movie would be something like 'Mamma Mia'...", Peter mumbled thoughtfully and now it was James' turn to look shocked. "I'm not going to take this obvious insult against ABBA, but since we're trying to help Sirius with his more or less criminal crush right now, I'll put that off until later." "It's not a crush, I...I'm just really grateful to him and would love to see him again to...talk to him. I know that sounds weird...", Sirius muttered, pulling his knees to his chest and a few strands of hair fell out of his messy bun. James put a hand on his shoulder.

He somehow had the vaguest suspicion that it was not only because Remus had been his knight in shining armour, but also because the whole molestation thing hadn't completely slipped his mind yet. Which was perfectly understandable as it had been a traumatic event but Sirius would probably never admit that, that's just the way he was. He had learned early on how to hide his pain so skillfully in plain sight that cracks and scars appeared to be completely invisible so that at some point even he forgot that they existed, but the pain still remained.

And that was also the reason why this tactic was so dangerous and Effie had offered several times to find a therapist for Sirius and Regulus. But because the Black brothers were who they were, they refused, claiming everything was fine, which was another big lie and everyone knew it. "Sirius...if something's bothering you, you can talk to us about it.", James said softly, so quietly only Sirius and Peter could hear it. Sirius pressed his lips together, leaning slightly into James' touch and then exhaled tightly. "I...it's silly that I can't let it go because nothing actually happened, but..."

"I'll stop you right there because it's not silly at all.", James interrupted and squeezed Sirius' shoulder gently, who still wasn't looking at him but was now smiling faintly. "I knew you would say that." There was a short pause in which James and Peter waited patiently and then Sirius continued. "I just felt so vulnerable and powerless and then I had to think of my mother of all people and how she would think I was weak..." "Your mother is the last person in this world who has a right to tell you that you're weak.", Peter said morosely, which wasn't because of Sirius but because of Walburga f*cking Black, who he had almost thrown a cupcake at during a stuffy garden party his family had once been invited to.

To this day he still regretted that he hadn't gone through with it. "Yeah I know but I was just so paralyzed with fear and then her voice was inside my head and it just made things worse. And then these guys' hands were everywhere and I could puke right now just thinking about it.", Sirius whispered, suddenly appearing as small as James had seen him only a few times before. Like that night he'd stood on his parents' doorstep wet and shaking and crying and then collapsed because his family was just a bunch of manipulative, cruel assholes.

"Sirius...you can't reduce yourself to how you were feeling at that moment. We're all allowed to be scared, it doesn't automatically make us weak. It makes us human. But you're more than what these guys make you out to be. You're not just a victim, and there's no way you can't believe that this is all that's left of you now. You're giving these bastards way more power over you than they ever deserved." James grabbed Sirius' hands, which felt cold, and slipped his fingers between those of his best friend.

"And just so you know, Pete and I and the others will always be there for you. And we're going to help you get through this and you don't have to pretend it's not eating away at your f*cking soul." He gazed steadily into Sirius' ocean blue eyes, which seemed large and wide, desperately trying to take in everything James had just said and had they been home in James' room now, Sirius might have sunk into his chest, sobbing softly, and they would've just held each other for a while, but not here. In that regard, Sirius was too conceited to burst into tears in front of his classmates.

"Thanks.", he said in a slightly choked voice and gave them that thin smile that was so characteristic of him when he was trying to keep his cool and Peter hugged him. "You guys okay?", Lily asked, having apparently stopped making Mary blush for a moment, and Sirius nodded quickly. "Yeah, everything's fine." "Great, then you can help me to finally put Dorcas down." Out of nowhere, Marlene appeared next to them, breathing heavily and looking terribly pretty despite beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She propped herself up on her thighs, panting, and stared intently at Sirius and James.

"Come on, let's destroy them." "I really hope you mean destroy just for the sake of the football game.", James said, standing up. "Oh come on be honest with yourself James, if she asked us to help her bury a body at 2 am we would definitely help her.", Sirius replied, stretching and Peter nodded in agreement. "Unfortunately he's right." And since Marlene was absolutely not someone who would ever be turned off with a simple 'no', James and Sirius did their duty and stood by her as she eyed Dorcas across the field so intensely that neither was really sure whether she was secretly planning her demise or imagining what it would be like to shag her.

Aside from the unbearable sexual tension between the two girls, things weren't going too badly, at least until Sirius casually dropped that despite the whole trauma thing, he might still be into Remus, and James' foot kind of slipped away from him, which resulted in his kick having way too much power and it promptly shattered the goalpost. Everyone stared at him in total perplexity and James was on the verge of coming up with a really bad excuse when just at that moment Madam Hooch waltzed back into the hall to fulfil her very neglected duty as a teacher.

Luckily for James, she didn't seem to want to drag him to the headmaster's office at all and probably found the whole thing so annoying in general that she decided to put it down to material wastage. Sirius and Peter, on the other hand, were not willing to let the subject drop so easily and began to mercilessly pester him with questions to which James had no answers. At least no answers that wouldn't immediately give away what he was trying to hide. "Y-You just uh...caught me off guard so I didn't pay attention to how much force I was using and, to be honest, the goalpost was really old.", he said which was only about a third a lie and Sirius was probably ready to point out that very third when they got into the locker room and James stopped dead in his tracks.

There was Regulus, shirtless mind you, looking him straight in the eye and James suddenly felt his heart pounding right in his throat. Yes, sometimes there would be temporal overlaps in the locker room when another class right after them also had P.E. but having it happen now was another coincidence that James believed wasn't a coincidence but rather a nasty hoax of destiny. Sure, his hormone-drenched teenage brain had certainly vaguely pictured Regulus shirtless at one time or another, but it was still something completely different to actually see him now.

Regulus with his shirtless upper body, which looked slim but wasn't skinny and wasn't exactly muscular but still appeared to have been carefully carved from perfect marble. And all James could do was gawk at him like a goldfish, that only had a three-second memory anyway, and that's why he got stuck in a kind of loop that consisted of tripping over his own pounding heart every time he looked at Regulus. Who, by the way, also looked as if all synapses had switched off at the same time.

"Hey Reggie, if you guys were planning on playing football today I must disappoint you. James broke the goalpost.", Sirius said, unknowingly saving James' ass. "O-Oh, really?", Regulus asked in surprise, but barely able to take his eyes off James, still holding his shirt limply in his hands and James felt Reg's eyes setting off little mini-explosions in his chest because apparently, Regulus was as much at the mercy of his own emotions as James himself. However, that didn't mean that these feelings were on a similar level to his own and it honestly would be a lot like Regulus had he only stared at James because he had noticed, for the very first time, what a gigantic idiot he was.

But when the staring didn't stop while James changed clothes and Regulus even stumbled into Evan, something like hope stirred inside of James, which of course immediately, because he was simply an incorrigible optimist, reared up into an all-consuming tidal wave and yet again he had to fight the urge to pull Regulus into his arms. Not that James acted any more intelligently because he was a total dumbass and slapped Peter right in the face as he slipped into the sleeves of his shirt.

"You okay?", Evan asked as he and Regulus left the locker room and the latter reacted violently as usual by growling at Evan and saying that of course, everything was fine. "James, are you coming?" Sirius was already waiting in the doorway with Peter while the latter rubbed his still sore nose for which James had already apologized at least three times. "Y-Yes, I'm coming.", he said, taking one last look in the direction Regulus had disappeared and if there had been room in his mind for more than one crisis at a time, he might have wondered how the hell neither Peter nor Sirius had asked him about his weird behaviour until now.

~***~

"You know, I'm not sure if you're doing this on purpose to slowly drive me insane or if you're just being a ruthless and selfish idiot.", Evan huffed angrily, pacing up in down in Barty's way too small flat. Which wasn't particularly dramatic given that the living room was only about ten feet long. Barty, lounging casually on his couch, wearily waved him off. "Evan I really don't know why you're mad at me. Nothing happened.", he said and Evan paused, staring at him with a mixture of bewilderment and anger and the tiniest hint of concern.

"You're really wondering why I'm mad at you? Because this whole thing could've ended up with you in jail, you dumbass.", he rumbled, waving his arms around as if that would somehow make his point any clearer, but unfortunately for him, Barty didn't look the least bit like he was able to understand Evan's emotional outburst. "Yeah, but...I'm still here. And I'm doing great. So no need to make such a fuss.", he replied nonchalantly and Evan bit his lower lip so hard he tasted blood. How could he be so incredibly negligent and so chilled at the same time?

"Yes, this time. But what if the next time doesn't go so well? What if the police catch you or you hurt yourself?", he asked, now beginning to sound resigned, knowing Barty too well and knowing full well that he would not change his attitude. Because Barty was always all or nothing and there was no in-between for him. And that scared the sh*t out of Evan. "Even if I get hurt, it won't be your fault. It's my business and I don't understand why you're yelling at me.", Barty said and Evan sighed deeply as something in his chest tightened painfully and each following breath hurt even more than the one before.

"Barty...is it really that hard to understand? I worry about you because you're my best friend and I don't want you to get hurt because I..." Evan felt a moment of suffocation because a certain sentence fought its way up his throat that he had sworn to never say out loud in Barty's presence. But it would be the truth and then maybe Barty would finally understand why he was so important to him and why there was no way he could ever bear to lose him. He simply couldn't imagine a life without him. No matter how annoying or unreasonable or mean he could be.

No matter how much his behaviour hurt Evan at times, or how little he thought about the impact his actions were having on his friends. Unfortunately, none of this could change the fact that Evan loved him...and if he didn't bite his tongue off right away he would practically shout it at him and he had to prevent that at all costs. "Because you...?", Barty asked, since Evan had probably stood there with his mouth half open longer than he realized. Barty had his head co*cked slightly in that lovely way that made him look innocent and sly at the same time.

A few strands of his dark brown hair, which had grown considerably longer now, fell across his forehead and Evan cursed everything and everyone and his entire existence because he had fallen in love with him. "Because I...", Evan began and swallowed the actual rest of the sentence in a very painful way and it felt like shards of glass were tearing open his throat from the inside. "Because I and the others would be really terrible at organizing your f*cking funeral should you die, you idiot.", he finally said in agony and slumped weakly onto the couch next to Barty. Good heavens, he was really pathetic.

"Oh, Evan..." Barty scooted closer to him, making the whole thing even more unbearable, but Evan didn't have the strength or the self-control to push Barty away. Having him this near felt far too good, especially when Evan knew that one day they wouldn't be this close anymore. "I truly believe that Dorcas and Pandora would make up for your and Reg's incompetence and put on a wonderful memorial service.", he grinned and Evan had a sudden urge to bang his head against the wall. Yes, he loved Barty dearly, but that didn't make him any less of an obnoxious prick who never knew when enough was enough.

Chapter 8

Chapter Text

While Evan had made it his mission to go to Barty's right after school to tell him what a reckless idiot he was, James had decided to catch up on his patrol from last night before going home. And if he had turned back a block earlier he could certainly have kept the promise he had made to his father that morning, but he ended up on the roof of a house opposite the American embassy where there was a clearly bulletproof car, the black lacquer glistened in the sun and where a suspiciously large number of men in stiff suits lined the embassy's entrance.

The building, with its quirky facade designed to look more like an oversized work of art by a modern artist, was deserted that day, and the area around the building also felt completely abandoned, the only sound being the rippling of water in the decorative moat running along it, pulled through the concrete around the embassy. James craned his neck and saw that right at the entrance two men were standing opposite each other, talking in tight, forced-quiet voices, as if they actually wanted to yell at each other.

The air seemed electrified, the tension palpable and James felt the slight tickle in the back of his head that told him something was about to go wrong. And that something showed up in the guise of another man who wasn't in a suit and had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in a whole night and James immediately realized he was handcuffed, flanked by two guys almost two heads taller and twice as big as their most valuable hostage. Because that's exactly what it was. James had, completely unintentionally, stumbled into a highly important and probably politically significant hostage exchange.

Well, in his defence, how was he supposed to know? After all, that sort of thing wasn't broadcast over the police radio, which absolutely anyone could listen to if they knew the right frequency, and besides, James was pretty sure things at such a high level of government weren't handled by the regular police force. The men in the suits looked too much like private security guards, or at least very neatly dressed secret agents who could break your neck in ten different ways.

James crouched down a bit so as not to draw attention to himself in case of an emergency because if someone discovered him, it would certainly have unpleasant consequences for both parties. So he just hoped his spider-sense was wrong for once and chaos wouldn't erupt and at first, that seemed to be the case. The hostage walked calmly and orderly towards the car, someone opened the door and James almost would've breathed a sigh of relief and walked away, if not for the commotion that suddenly broke out. It happened so fast he couldn't even see who drew his gun first, or who was to blame but in the end, it probably didn't matter.

James heard many voices shouting commands at once and he took a deep breath. With a single swing, he landed right between the two obviously hostile groups, who actually stopped shouting things at each other, instead staring at James completely perplexed and the confusion seemed to stop time for about a second before it then ticked on at breakneck speed and definitely more than a dozen guns were pointed at James. "Who's that guy?!", the hostage asked almost annoyed with a very clearly audible American accent and James, hands already raised above his head, turned to him.

"Spider-Man, the local superhero and helpful aide to the police. But you can also call me the friendly neighbourhood spider.", he offered and his opponent blinked a few times in irritation before raising a sceptical eyebrow and glancing at James, which probably was supposed to communicate something like 'Are you crazy or something?' And admittedly, barging right into the middle of a botched hostage exchange might not have been James' best idea, but at least no one had shot anyone yet and everyone was still alive, so he decided to book the whole thing as a win.

"Get out of here you f*cking idiot, you have no business being here.", the guy who had opened the car door hissed and James sighed. "See, that's how I know you're not British, my dear friend. You're extremely rude.", he reprimanded, which seemed to surprise the man so much that he gaped at him in bewilderment. "Remove at once, sir. He's right, this is none of your business.", said one of the other clearly British men, who was even wearing black sunglasses, and James turned to face him, still careful to maintain his non-threatening posture.

"With all due respect, you clearly don't have the situation under control and if I hadn't intervened, it would all have gotten out of hand. Someone would have started shooting, the other side would have fired back and people would have lost their lives needlessly.", James replied in a firm voice and determined expression, although of course none of those present could see that. "If it is your intention to prevent the release of this hostage, then we must inform you that..." "It is not my intention at all to prevent anything here. Except maybe a massacre because that's what would've happened, am I right?", James asked in a stern tone that sounded a lot like his mother, and indeed one or two pressed their lips together in embarrassment.

"I don't give a damn who this man is, but assuming he is someone who has committed a crime, I have no problem with him getting out of this city and this country as soon as possible.", he continued, then turned back to the hostage, who didn't seem to know whether to be offended or grateful. "Well, sir, if you would be so kind as to get in the car? That would help us all a lot." At first, no one moved, probably too busy trying to figure out what had just happened, but then everyone slowly lowered their guns, although no one really relaxed, but James couldn't really blame them.

This was a tricky business, and he didn't need to know the details for that. And honestly, he was kind of surprised that his 'plan' had actually worked. "Weirdo...", the guy mumbled and then continued on his way to the car, but just as he was about to get in, a shot ripped through the air out of nowhere and the hostage collapsed face-first into the back seat of the car like a boned fish. His legs hung limply out of the open door and, unnaturally loud, James heard blood dripping onto the expensive dark leather seat. A single heartbeat passed as everyone stared at the dead man and again, they all seemed to freeze for a moment before panic broke out.

But since no one on the ground had fired, James immediately searched the surrounding houses, some of which were tall enough to serve as the perfect spot for a sniper. And out of the corner of his eye, just for a split second, he saw something move and didn't hesitate. There was nothing he could do for the dead man, all he could do now was call the one who murdered him to account. Just two buildings down a new skyscraper was being erected, a crane enthroned on its roof and of course not finished yet, so there was no one to sneak past except maybe the construction workers.

James climbed up the bare facade as fast as he could, swung in on the scaffolding through what would probably later become a window and landed in a room where all the walls, floor and ceiling were raw concrete, and he listened to an echo, the sound of footsteps and he started running. Not even two floors later, someone appeared in front of him who didn't seem to be in a hurry at all, but was strolling quite leisurely, a large, black bag slung over his shoulder, the barrel of the rifle still sticking out of it and James wanted to tackle him to the ground, but that wasn't his style.

Instead, he stopped, clenched his fists and took a deep breath. "Hey!" The guy stopped and then turned around very slowly, unrushed. James froze. He had never met him in person but had done enough research to recognize him now. And although the blood in his veins was boiling, he did force himself to stay calm so as not to punch him right away. "Deadpool, right?", he asked, struggling not to yell at him and the guy, who surely must've been taller than six feet, tilted his head slightly. "Spider-Man, hi. What can I do for you?", he asked, putting the bag down to casually cross his arms over his chest.

James felt his eye twitch. "What...? Well, you can explain to me what that was all about.", he ground out through clenched teeth, pointing vaguely in the direction he'd come from. Deadpool followed his outstretched arm and then shrugged. "I did my job.", he replied matter-of-factly and James growled under his breath, but inwardly vowed not to lose his temper. "Are you saying someone paid you to shoot that man?" "That seems like a rhetorical question to me, because I think you know full well who I am and what I do.", Deadpool quipped and James felt his fist-clenched hands begin to tremble.

"Listen, I don't want to judge you because I don't know you, but...he was unarmed and you just murdered him in cold blood." "Oh, you mean like the people he murdered in cold blood who were also unarmed?", Deadpool countered, but he didn't seem aggressive or like he was trying to make fun of James. He was just...honest. And James didn't know how to feel about that. "I meant..." "I know what you meant and believe me, I have a lot of respect for you doing this superhero thing without killing, but I'm not like you. I'm a mercenary, I kill the bad guys for money. It's my job, it's as simple as that.", Deadpool cut him off and James let out a deep sigh, but his lungs just wouldn't fill with enough air.

"But you didn't even know this man." "No, I don't have to. I just need to know enough about him to know if he deserves to die." Anger welled up in James' chest again, hot and raging, threatening to engulf him. "No one has the right to judge if someone deserves to die.", he snapped, taking a step forward. Deadpool didn't back away, but he didn't meet him either, just shouldered the bag again. "Listen, he was a criminal, murdering asshole who killed a lot of people. Now he's dead and that's all I care about. And just so we don't get this wrong, I'm not doing this for fun.", Deadpool clarified, which for some reason surprised James.

"Then why are you doing it?", he asked before he could stop himself and Deadpool tilted his head back slightly. Suddenly he seemed very exhausted. "Because I don't have a choice and yes, I know that's the lamest, oldest and most used excuse of all time, but it's the truth.", he said wistfully, then cleared his throat as if he accidentally had revealed something that he had actually wanted to keep to himself. "Anyway, I don't want us to be enemies and you'll never catch me attacking an innocent person, I can promise you that. I may not be a hero, but I'm definitely not one of the bad guys either."

"You're in the grey area in between, I get it.", James huffed, his anger slowly dying away. Sure, he didn't approve of what Deadpool, or rather Remus, did to earn his living, but what right did he have to decide if his reasons were good enough or not? He barely knew him, knew nothing about him and something inside of him refused to believe that he was a bad person. He was beginning to understand why Sirius had said he immediately felt safe around him. He didn't come across as threatening or calculating or anything, more like someone who just did his job because he had no other options.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we'll meet again, Spider-Man.", Deadpool said and before James could give a proper goodbye, he was gone, almost as if he'd just vanished into thin air. James stood there for a moment, wondering if it felt the same way for the cops, who he sometimes disappeared on when suddenly his phone rang and he awkwardly dug it out before answering. "Yeah?" "James? Sweetheart, your dad and I are wondering where you are. You haven't replied to any of our texts. Are you alright?", Effie asked and James facepalmed.

"Uh...yes mum, don't worry. I'm fine, I'm okay.", he replied contritely, hearing his mother sigh, a mixture of relief and an eye roll he couldn't see. "Alright darling, please come home now, okay?" "Yeah, sorry. I'm on my way.", he said sheepishly and his mother said she loved him and of course, he said it back before hanging up. He briefly checked again whether a new world war had broken out at the embassy, but that didn't seem to be the case, so James decided to put a little trust in humanity and went home where his mother's dinner would soon be waiting for him.

What he didn't know, however, was that at the same time in a completely different part of London, in an old, abandoned pumping station, something was happening that would soon have consequences for him and for the whole city. Surrounded by damp, wet walls and water dripping from the ceiling and forming puddles on the ground, a transaction was being finalized there that made a guy from the black market very rich and a group of dangerous people even more dangerous.

The fact that the silver-masked criminals hadn't been able to take all of their loot from LCR turned out to be utterly irrelevant since they had now obtained the required chemicals by other means and amidst old, no longer working pumps and a constant eerie echo was a man, who was pleased with his henchmen's haul and, smiling ominously and with a voice that would have given James goosebumps, announced that it was now time for phase two of their plan.

~***~

Saturday, 6:35 pm - Belgravia, London

"I look ridiculous.", Regulus complained while standing in front of the full-length mirror in his older brother's room. Sirius had been busy dancing around him for a good two hours now, meticulously planning his outfit, including accessories. And he made a big fuss even though it was just a classmate's party and not the Met Gala or anything like that. "Be careful Reggie, those are my clothes you're wearing.", Sirius warned, buried waist-deep in his closet, where he'd been searching for something for about five minutes. Regulus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't understand why I can't just put my clothes on...", he growled angrily and stared down at his shoes, black, tightly laced, made of leather (of course) with a heel that was way too high in his opinion. "You could, but then you'd look like a sad, sickly Victorian ghost boy.", Sirius commented unhelpfully, emerging from his closet and, judging from the triumphant noise he let out, having found what he had been so feverishly looking for. "But I don't want to look like Billy Porter in 'Kinky Boots' either.", Regulus mumbled in a huff as Sirius stepped right behind him and fumbled a belt on his trousers, which, God forbid, had a silver chain on it, thin and shimmering like a snake.

"Well jokes on you Reg, because absolutely everyone would want to look like Billy Porter in 'Kinky Boots' and besides, I would definitely be a fabulous drag queen.", Sirius continued completely undeterred and Regulus let out a little wheeze. He dared a hesitant glance in the mirror, not knowing whether to dread the fact that he looked so much like Sirius or be amazed that the damn tight trousers his older brother had forced him into fitted him like a glove and flattered his slender legs, shaped by ballet and ballroom dancing lessons when he had been only three.

"You look great Reggie, don't worry.", Sirius said, stepping back, one hand cupped under his chin, brow furrowed slightly like an artist critically appraising his masterpiece. And yes, even if Regulus would never have admitted it out loud, he didn't look terrible. Despite the fact that it was Sirius' clothes he was wearing, his brother had somehow managed to still make him look like himself. The shoes might not have been his first choice, but the shirt was a very dark forest green and dusted with just enough glitter to make it look classy and not cheap.

It was see-through but not in a way that made him feel naked and the single dagger-shaped earring was secretly Regulus' favourite part of the whole outfit. "You like it?", Sirius asked, resting his chin on Regulus' shoulder as he ruffled his hair with one hand and Regulus pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. "Yes, I like it.", he finally admitted, and a wide grin crept onto Sirius' face. "Good, because you look fantastic, Reggie." He turned him around by the shoulders, let his eyes wander over him once more and then nodded. "Well, the outfit is perfect. Now make-up." Regulus raised his eyebrows.

"Make-up?" "Yep." Sirius grabbed his hand and pulled him to his bed, which was a mess of blankets, pillows, clothes and loose sheets with unfinished homework and class notes scrawled on them. "Sirius, I'm not sure about that. Make-up is more your thing...", Regulus murmured as he sank onto the mattress, which was too soft for his liking. Sirius, however, put a hand on his hip and shook his head. "Relax, it's just some eyeshadow and highlighter. I promise.", he said, and when Regulus looked away in surrender, he knew he'd won.

Grabbing a few things from his dresser, which was just as untidy as the rest of his room, Sirius sat cross-legged across from Regulus. "Okay, look at me and close your eyes.", he said and Regulus did as he was told. He heard the plastic lid of a palette rattle, then winced slightly as the brush's soft bristles touched his skin. It always tickled a little at first, but he quickly got used to it no matter how much he complained, and Regulus was sure that Sirius also knew that he secretly liked it when he did his make-up.

It was quiet for a little while, Sirius' Spotify playlist playing quietly in the background and every now and then Regulus could hear his brother holding his breath in concentration, feeling the warmth emanating from his body as he got close to him. The warmth, that, even after all these years, still felt like a comfort blanket that Regulus knew would protect him from everything and everyone. "So, why are you nervous, hm?", Sirius eventually asked and Regulus winced slightly. "I'm not nervous.", he said immediately, and although he couldn't see it, Regulus knew Sirius was smirking.

"You get mean when you're nervous and earlier you threatened to strangle me with my necklace if I dared to use the hair gel on you.", Sirius said and Regulus silently cursed him for knowing his every quirk so damn well. "I...just don't like going to parties that much.", he tried again, but Sirius instantly exposed that as a lie as well when Regulus heard him click his tongue in disapproval. "Ugh...you're obnoxious.", Regulus groaned, turning his head slightly to the left so Sirius could better highlight his left cheekbone.

"Maybe, but firstly it's my job to annoy you and secondly we agreed not to lie to each other anymore." Sirius poked Regulus' nose with the tip of his brush and he blinked open his eyes. Sirius looked at him expectantly, but something mischievous curled his lips and Regulus grimaced. "You already know, you just want to make me say it out loud.", he grumbled and punched him weakly in the shoulder at which Sirius only gave a soft chuckle and reached for his eyeliner pencil.

"I'm just saying I'm not blind, and I'm not as stupid as you might think. I may not read Tolstoy or Brontë, but I'm not completely clueless. I've been aware of the way you and James have been looking at each other lately.", he explained as he cupped Regulus' chin and leaned forward. "It's nothing.", Regulus asserted quickly, far too quickly actually and way too insistently for him to sell it as the truth, and besides, Sirius always knew when he was fibbing.

"If that's what you want to tell yourself, fine. It's none of my business, but...James is my best friend and as your protective big brother I'm telling you that there's nobody I'd rather see by your side. He has a heart so big it's almost ridiculous and he's loyal and I know for a fact that he could make you happy.", Sirius babbled on happily. He had long since seen through him. The problem was...even if Regulus wanted to admit it, he simply couldn't do it. Because if he'd said it out loud, or even formed the thought clearly in his mind, then Sirius' implication would become something real that Regulus wouldn't be able to push away, and that was...scary.

James frightened him because he was just so overwhelming and wonderful and radiant as the sun and Regulus feared he would burn himself if he got too close, just like Icarus and he would end up falling into the depths of the sea and drowning. Because even if he admitted to himself that James wanted him, which was an absurd notion because who would want a mess like him, even then Regulus didn't know if he would be able to take it. It felt like his feelings had been smouldering for ages now, sparked by one of James' stupid, pretty smiles, and he'd been unable to extinguish it since.

And after everything that had happened between them over the past few days, Regulus felt he was starting to lose control over the flame that just kept growing and growing and would surely consume him in the end. Burning him down completely, leaving only ashes behind. "I...I don't know if...", he stammered, eyes downcast on his clenched hands and when a tremor was beginning to shake his shoulders, Sirius pulled him into his arms.

"Hey, it's okay Reggie. Nobody's rushing you, you've got all the time in the world. And I know James well enough to know he'd be waiting for you.", Sirius whispered, his hands warm and firm on Regulus' back, like an anchor, his true home that he knew would always be there to welcome him no matter how lost he might feel. "Do you really believe that?", Regulus asked softly, his voice a faint whine that under other circ*mstances would have been very embarrassing.

"He'd probably wait for you forever if he had to.", Sirius replied, one of his hands wandering up to Regulus' neck, thumb and forefinger gently cupping the back of his head, twirling his curls the same way he used to as a little boy when Regulus had crawled into his bed at night after a nightmare. They just sat there for a little while and Regulus let Sirius hold him and neither of them had to say anything because they knew each other well enough, because they knew that being silent was their way of telling the other that they would never leave each other alone. Never.

"Come on, we have to go or we'll be late." Sirius pinched Regulus very lightly in the side and they pulled apart. Regulus got up from Sirius' bed, stepping straight into a pile of dirty socks and briefs, and he let out a disgusted huff. "You really should clean your room.", he muttered, turning to face his brother who was smudging the eyeliner on his waterline a bit, making him look like a '70s rock star. "Why? I know where everything is and besides, didn't Stephen Hawking say that it takes a genius to master chaos?" Sirius looked up at him and blew a single strand of hair out of his face.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Einstein said that." "Hm, close enough.", Sirius replied with a nonchalant shrug and threw everything back into his make-up bag, which Regulus was convinced worked on a similar concept to the Tardis. "Okay, let's go." Sirius grabbed his favourite leather jacket that was hanging over the chair that for some reason was by the window rather than the desk and slung it over his shoulder. Regulus considered rolling his eyes again, but eventually decided against it and together they left their flat to head to Zabini's party.

~***~

Admittedly, doing the patrol shortly before the party hadn't been well thought out, but luckily for James that Friday night was quiet, with no major police operations, no kidnappings and no outbreak of war to prevent. So he closed his usual route by ending it right in Holland Park in Notting Hill, where a white, three-storey mansion loomed in front of him complete with stucco-carved stone fruit bowls lining the top edge of the roof. Houses like this were not uncommon in Notting Hill, however, and this fashionable area with its attractive Victorian townhouses was reserved for only those who could afford it.

A district where pretty facades were lined up neatly next to each other and each mansion had its own little enclosed garden. The Zabinis were one of those families who could afford it, an outrageous fortune amassed over generations, sustained by businesses, certainly not all of which were entirely legal. James peered up and down the street when he arrived but couldn't see anyone between the parked cars, so he dodged between the narrow canyon of the Zabini estate and a red brick mansion and changed at lightning speed, stuffing his suit into his backpack.

Dull, bass-heavy music blared out from behind the lighted windows, and James chuckled at the thought that this upscale neighbourhood would not be happy about the noise pollution and drunken teenagers hailing cabs late at night while they staggered around on the sidewalk, trying not to throw up in one of the neatly manicured gardens with their vibrant green lawns. James tousled his hair one last time before stepping under the pretty ornate canopy of the front door and then slipped into the hallway, where someone almost ran into him, holding what looked suspiciously like a lilac strapless top.

But before he could even make it into the living room to get some of the definitely not-alcohol-free punch, James felt someone take his arm. "You seem out of breath, is everything okay?", a voice asked so soft and airy that he shouldn't have been able to understand it because of the loud, pounding music. Pandora stood next to him, wearing rhinestones in the corners of her eyes, butterfly clips in her hair, and a dress that made her look like a fairy. She glanced up at him questioningly from her large, violet-blue eyes and James was so taken aback that he opened his mouth but forgot to answer.

"Did you run here? You're late, your friends all showed up ten minutes ago.", she continued undeterred and James blinked a few times, hoping his brain would adjust to the weird wonder that was Pandora Lovegood. "Uh yeah, I uh...forgot something at home and had to go back. That's why I'm late.", he finally said and Pandora nodded dreamily, the wings of the butterflies in her hair flapping gently, shimmering in all of the rainbow's colours.

"Yeah, that sounds like you.", she replied in agreement, casually patting his arm, only to let go of him abruptly, apparently having spotted something more worthy of her attention than him. James watched her go, slightly confused, while Pandora floated off towards the kitchen as if she were actually a fairy and then navigated among the dancing, singing and optionally snogging partygoers in search of his friends. And just as he was dodging someone who was feeling the iconic dance move of John Travolta from 'Saturday Night Fever' a little too much, he spotted Sirius standing on his tiptoes to peer over the bobbing heads, waving wildly at him.

"There you are. I was about to call you because we were wondering where you were. Pete was about to send out a search party.", Sirius joked, throwing an arm around James' shoulders, while Peter was immediately outraged and claimed that there had only been one time when he had panicked and almost called the police to have James searched, solely because he had been just about four years old at the time and James had gotten lost in Tesco's linoleum aisles.

However, he could barely concentrate on what his friends were talking about because all his mind was capable of at that second was staring at Regulus because he looked absolutely gorgeous. And James wasn't sure if he should thank or curse Sirius for putting his little brother in such a fantastic outfit tonight. The slightly sheer top, hugging his upper body in all the right places, to show off his delicate build, and the subtle eyeshadow that made his cold, grey irises shine like the star he was named after.

A single, perfectly curling strand of raven hair hung over his forehead, barely touching his elegantly arched eyebrow and James felt his fingers itching to brush it aside, only to let his hand linger right there to caress Regulus' cheek. "Tell him how good he looks.", Sirius whispered in his ear and James blindly obeyed. "You...you look beautiful." The words tumbled from his lips, but the awkward compliment still managed to make Regulus blush, a delicate pink flower blooming on his fair skin and James wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

To sink his teeth into his lips, not quite biting, just enough to make them tingle. James was so lost in imagining what Regulus' lips would look like after he'd kissed them raw that he almost missed the younger Black quietly returning the compliment, mumbling something about his glasses looking hot, at which Sirius laughed so hard that he bent over and put one hand on his thigh for support. But all those words did to James was make his heart flicker like someone had set it ablaze and dear God, if it was Regulus who had struck the match then James was only too willing to let it burn until nothing was left.

Chapter 9

Chapter Text

"Hey, there you are! We thought you wouldn't show up anymore." Marlene appeared like a whirlwind of tattered jeans, leather and punk slogans, her ever-bright eyes rimmed in black and with dark red lips, making her look a bit like a young Vivienne Westwood. "I'm only ten minutes late.", James replied, who had finally managed to tear himself away from Regulus' sight, who had then fled in a not-very graceful way, mumbling that he had to go find Evan and Pandora. "Anyway, I have a mission for tonight.", Marlene continued, leaning slightly towards the boys and wagging her eyebrows conspiratorially.

"Please don't tell me you're planning to overthrow the government tonight. Because then I would have put on my Doc Martens and not the ankle boots.", Sirius said, pointing down at his feet, which were clad in black, subtly sequined shoes with flat heels. "Are Doc Martens your preferred type of shoe to start political unrest?", Peter asked, half interested, half joking and Sirius probably would've launched into a lengthy explanation if Marlene hadn't intervened. "No, I'll save overthrowing the monarchy and starting a revolution for a special evening. Today my goal is to get Dorcas drunk.", she explained with a big grin and James looked at her.

"And what are you gonna do with her once she's drunk?", he drawled and Marlene looked at him with such incomprehension as if the answer was totally obvious. "I'm doing this to get her off her high horse for a bit, what did you think?" "Nothing! Definitely not that you were going to fill her up and then snog her senseless or anything.", Peter piped up, who had an unfortunate habit of blurting out the truth when he got nervous. Marlene frowned and pursed her lips. "Why would I want to snog her?"

"Ignore him, Marls. You know how he is. He likes to talk nonsense.", James quickly interjected, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her around before giving her a slight push. "Come on, you have a mission to fulfil!", he called after her as she disappeared between the dancing people, throwing a confused shoulder glance at the three boys. "Honestly Peter, you couldn't have made it more obvious, could you?", Sirius sighed, hands on his hips. "S-Sorry, I...I sort of panicked.", he murmured glumly, his shoulders sagging, but James ruffled his hair.

"Don't worry Pete, Marls will soon find out that the line between hate and love is very, very thin and before we know it she and Dorcas will be the school's lesbian power couple." "Hm, Marls on her own can be quite scary sometimes. Now imagine the two of them in a double pack." Sirius shook himself briefly as if trying to get rid of a shiver running down his spine, then elegantly tossed back his hair, which James could swear was glittering, and then grabbed James' and Peter's hands. "Alright, let's dance.", he said, and before either of his friends could protest, Sirius dragged them along.

And whoever had the power over the current playlist must've been a Taylor Swift fan, as they first danced to 'Paper Rings' and then 'Shake It Off' before Peter's asthma kicked in and they made their way to the buffet for a short break. There, Marlene had somehow managed to persuade Dorcas to let her mix a drink for her, which she was now eyeing critically. "Somehow I have a bad feeling about it.", Dorcas said doubtfully, who looked stunning in her neon orange mini skirt with a matching blouse and wore her braids in two space buns.

"If I were you, I'd be careful. Marlene's ratio between rum and co*ke is extremely worrying.", Sirius explained and Marlene gave him a waspish look. "It's not my fault you're such a lightweight." "Oi, I've already had three shots, your devilish mixture just finished me off.", Sirius complained and Marlene rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, I remember that evening. James had to hold your hair while you were throwing up.", Peter said and Sirius gave an indignant huff.

"Yeah thanks, Pete, I'm sure we all remember that vividly.", he grumbled while Dorcas apparently decided to take the risk as she took a generous sip from the red plastic cup and grimaced almost instantly. "Ugh, are you trying to kill me McKinnon?", she coughed after swallowing and Marlene burst out laughing. "No, that would be a pity. No one would make such a good nemesis as you.", she finally said after she had caught her breath and Dorcas wordlessly raised an eyebrow and took another sip.

Peter turned away, shaking his head, he couldn't seem to stand it when people were too stupid to realize they fancied each other, only to find a similar dilemma right on the dance floor. "Oh wow...", he said almost silently, but James heard him anyway and followed his gaze. Snuggled up to Dove Cameron's 'Boyfriend', Lily and Mary danced together, hands on each other's hips. Well, actually you couldn't really call it dancing because the girls were too busy looking into each other's eyes and giggling like two newlyweds, hands sliding lower and lower, fingertips ghosting over cloth that was clinging to their heated bodies.

"I'll bet you five pounds they'll kiss tonight.", Sirius whispered to James, who nodded and held out his hand for Sirius to shake it. Lily, who was a dream in a lime green dress with ruffles on the short sleeves, seemed already slightly drunk, her cheeks flushed and her lips brushing Mary's cheek briefly every time she pulled her closer. "My goodness, they should really get their sh*t together and realize that they like each other.", Marlene commented, shaking her head and James, Sirius and Peter gaped at her, completely baffled. It was like someone criticizing a person for smoking only to then do it themselves.

Out of the corner of his eye, James suddenly noticed that the smooth rubbing and gliding against each other had probably come to an abrupt end, for Mary held Lily at bay with difficulty, her lips curling into a pout. Apparently, she was trying to kiss Mary, who laboriously manoeuvred Lily to the side as the others watched on in silence. "Lily no, stop.", James heard Mary say calmly but firmly as she tried to get Lily to sit down. "Oh come on Mary, it's alright. Just a kiss between friends.", Lily trilled, who couldn't seem to keep her hands off Mary, who looked terribly uncomfortable in her own skin.

"N-No, you're drunk and I'm not going to take advantage of that. I'll get you a glass of water now, wait here." She tore herself away from Lily, straightened the straps of her bubblegum pink jumpsuit, and then marched briskly into the kitchen. "Huh, looks like you won the bet.", Sirius said, leaning on James' shoulder, who wasn't even listening. He could well imagine why Mary refused to kiss Lily and it probably wasn't just because of the alcohol. She probably believed that it wouldn't mean anything to Lily, maybe even that she would have forgotten about it in the morning.

But it would mean so much more to Mary. She probably didn't want to give in to the illusion that Lily's feelings could be real and James could well understand how that felt. Because even if Regulus blushed in his presence and his eloquent, extensive vocabulary suddenly seemed to consist of nothing more than broken words...that didn't necessarily mean he had a chance with him. "What's going on over there?" James snapped out of his thoughts and saw that Dorcas had put down her drink and was now heading towards the kitchen, from where voices reached them, steadily getting louder.

It sounded like an argument that was about to escalate. They didn't hesitate but followed Dorcas and when they reached the kitchen, where a crowd had formed in the meantime, they saw what the reason for the commotion was. Barty, who had somehow sneaked into the party despite not being invited, stood between Regulus and Evan and Avery, Mulciber, Zabini and Snape. "Oh f*ck...", Dorcas murmured tightly, her eyes darting around in search of Pandora. "I told you to get the hell out of my house, Crouch.", Zabini snarled, but Barty, arms casually crossed in front of his chest, just smirked back.

"Why? The party's only just started.", he said lightly and Evan grabbed his arm, probably wanting to pull him back to avoid a fight, but Barty shook off his hand. "We don't want scum like you here, so get lost or we'll make you.", Mulciber growled, who had been suspended from school since the incident in the cafeteria and therefore unable to cause any more trouble. But of course, he has to make up for it now, James thought in exasperation, who was just waiting for the inevitable moment when he would have to intervene.

"Awww, is being a bouncer your dream job? Are you practising for later? Because with your pea brain, that's the only job you're going to get.", Barty scoffed haughtily and Regulus, who was standing behind him, looked like he wanted to bang his head against one of the kitchen cabinets. Of course, Barty had to provoke him further. "I'll smash your skull, you little prick and Rosier can scrape your brains off the floor after I'm done with you.", Mulciber rumbled while Avery rocked up and down beside him, hell-bent on getting revenge.

Snape, on the other hand, stayed in the background, as always, so he would be able to escape once things would go south. "Come on Mulciber, we both know you wouldn't survive a day in jail so shut up.", Regulus sighed, probably in an attempt to somehow salvage the whole thing, but it seemed more like that statement was the thing that tipped the scales, the last straw for Mulciber's already thin running patience. Before Barty could dodge, he received the first punch, square in the face and stumbled against the sink and from there, there was no stopping them.

It was a mess of fists being thrown, insults being yelled and cheers erupting, while more than half of those in attendance pulled out their phones to film the fight. "Oh bloody hell...", Sirius cursed under his breath, taking off his jacket and handing it to Peter, and James handed him his glasses. Stepping between Evan, who was somehow trying to protect Barty, and Regulus, who was surprisingly good at dodging, Sirius grabbed Avery by the wrists and kneed him in the pit of his stomach, causing him to collapse, gasping for air.

James, on the other hand, decided not to drag things out and pushed Mulciber against the wall. Zabini was smart enough to back off, whether it was for fear of getting his face beaten in or for fear of someone breaking something in the kitchen of his parents' house, James didn't know. Snape was gone, of course, slinking off like the coward he was, and while Avery lay huddled on the floor in a fetal position, Evan struggled to hold Barty back. "That's enough, stop it!", James shouted louder than intended and Mulciber tried to push him away.

"I won't take any orders from you, four-eyes.", he spat, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he let out an embarrassing-sounding squeak, for none other than Regulus had kicked him in the balls. Silence fell, phones were dropped, but everyone kept staring without saying a single word and Regulus brushed back his hair. When his eyes met James', he winced, for those eyes he knew could be soft and soothing, like a calming river, were now cold and piercing, boring right into his skull.

Like the bright blade of a silver dagger and a lump was forming in his throat. "Are you...are you mad?", James asked and immediately wanted to bite off his tongue. Why the hell had he said that out loud? "Yeah, I'm pissed. Because you and Sirius act like you have to save the day every damn time, but that's bullsh*t.", Regulus replied acidly, and James suddenly felt like he was shrinking, becoming smaller and smaller until he was nothing more than a pebble and Regulus was a mountain towering above him. "B-But we just wanted to help and..."

"We didn't want your help!", Barty snapped, his eyebrow bloodied and he nervously wiped away the blood that was running down his cheek. "Oh really? To me, it looked like you really needed it, though.", Sirius snapped back and Regulus stomped past him. "No, so stop acting like we couldn't have done it without you. You don't always have to play the hero. Stop meddling in our affairs because this is none of your business.", he hissed and walked away, parting the still gaping crowd as if they were afraid to stand in his way.

"He's right, this heroic act you're putting on is really annoying and galling.", Barty growled, now pressing some damp kitchen roll against his eyebrow that Evan had given him, who was silent but sporting an expression like he had also wanted to punch someone. Before James, who was completely speechless anyway, could have said anything, they too left the party and trailing behind them were Dorcas and Pandora, the latter of whom was crying. Dorcas had one arm wrapped around her and was stroking her hair soothingly and they disappeared into the night that had now settled over Notting Hill.

"Well, I guess that's it for the party then.", Peter said softly, thus voicing what everyone was thinking. Music was still playing in the living room and 3OH!3's 'We Are Young' had never sounded more sarcastic. "I uh...I'll go ask Dorcas if I can help her with Pandora.", Marlene mumbled and shuffled away and no one questioned that. Zabini took the floor and asked everyone to go home, sounding like a failed businessman, who had just lost all his money and, to be honest, he looked the part with his dishevelled clothes and his splotchy face.

"I'll take Lily home, you guys are okay, aren't you?" Mary took Sirius' hand briefly, he nodded curtly and said goodbye with a tired smile. "Well, I have to admit, I did imagine the evening would play out in a different way.", Peter said, giving Sirius his jacket and James his glasses. "Yeah...I don't think you're the only one who thinks so, Pete.", Sirius replied, casting a worried look towards the front door. "I should go find Reggie. When he's mad he doesn't pay attention to where he's going and I don't want him to get lost."

"I'll help you, but we'd better split up. You can handle it on your own, right Pete?", James asked and Peter smiled bravely. "Sure, my mum gave me extra money for a cab.", he said, and they shared a quick group hug before parting. "Okay, I'll go down that street and you'll go the other way, let's hope he didn't get too lost.", Sirius sighed as they stood outside on the darkened street. "Hey, Reg does have a phone and I'm sure he would call you if he's in trouble. But I'm sure he's fine so don't worry.", James replied and put a hand on Sirius' shoulder before he nodded and then disappeared into the night.

James looked after him. He knew that Regulus meant everything to him, no matter how many times they argued and claimed to hate each other. They were brothers, two sides of the same coin and that would never change, although they both would probably rather sink into the ground than admit out loud in front of others that they loved each other. James glanced around and then ducked into the shadows to change his clothes because if Regulus was indeed in some kind of trouble somewhere, he would be better able to help him that way. Although...

James stared at the mask in his hands and hesitated. The look from Regulus' eyes had been so cold and almost contemptuous and...what if he was right? What if James was actually imposing himself even though he wasn't needed? What if people didn't want his help and many wanted to get rid of him because of it? Not because he acted outside the rules, but because he thought he could solve a problem he actually had no idea about. What if he really took on more than he could handle and totally overestimated himself?

Then he would not only fool himself but also everyone else and that was worse than lying to himself because it would mean that he had convinced himself that he could really make a change. His mind began to race up and down like a roller coaster he couldn't get off, and James didn't notice the faint clicking sound that heralded a very different kind of doom. He pulled the mask over his face, shouldered his backpack and set off because even if the citizens of London neither wanted nor needed him there was at least one person he had to help at the moment and that was his best friend.

So he swung off and searched the streets and alleys because since Regulus was on foot he couldn't really have gotten very far. And James didn't really know what it was after all, whether it was instinct or some kind of fate guiding him, but he also decided to check out Holland Park and even before he saw Regulus, he could already hear him. He was loud and mean, rude, but his voice lacked sharpness and James knew something was wrong. So he jumped from street lamp to tree and found Regulus standing with his back to a fence.

He was surrounded by three guys who were hardly any high-profile criminals, just assholes who thought too much of themselves and believed picking on someone weaker would change something about their puny self-esteem. "I told you to f*ck off!", Regulus hissed like a snake, ready to spray its venom, but James knew that guys like that weren't smart enough to interpret such a warning properly and this wasn't Regulus' world where words could be yielded as weapons. It was James' world and there only one thing mattered because idiots like that only understood one language and you had to speak it very clearly.

"Oi, you'd better mess with someone your size!", he called down from the street lamp, bathing Regulus and the three guys in a dim light as they all looked up at the same time. One laughed and nudged his buddy with a half-empty beer bottle. "Hey look, it's that idiot wearing that stupid suit.", he chuckled and his two friends joined in. "Yeah, and you're the pricks stupid enough to mess with me.", James countered, jumping down feet first, sending a guy flying straight into the bushes, where he landed on his back, groaning in pain.

"You motherf*cker! We're going to crush you!", the other two barked and James turned around. "Yes, of course, uh...oh, can I borrow that for a second?", he asked and without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the beer bottle and smashed it over the head of the other man, breaking it into a million little, sharp pieces. "Olly! Ugh, you're going to pay for that!", the last one standing growled, probably thinking attacking James from behind was a good idea, but James didn't even have to look, blindly grabbed his wrist and threw him over his shoulder into one the traffic signs telling you not to go up this driveway.

He, too, sagged to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut and then suddenly it was very quiet and all that could be heard was Regulus' rapid breathing. James looked at him, he stared at the unmoving bodies lying at his feet, then at James and then back at the unconscious attackers. He was still standing with his back against the fence, his chest heaving like a frightened rabbit's and for a moment James thought he would now run away from him, but then Regulus did what he always did. He put on a mask, silently decided to pull himself together and straightened up like a little tin soldier.

He lifted his chin as if he had been above the whole situation from the start, always in control, never needing anyone. "That was uh...I could have sorted it out on my own.", he said, his voice now slightly squeaky but no longer shaking and James chuckled a bit because he loved seeing Regulus that way, not perfect, somehow struggling for composure and not being entirely successful about it. He loved seeing the truth trying to spill out and seeping through the cracks of his face.

And yes, maybe he shouldn't have found that amusing, but Regulus was apparently composed enough to claim he could have taken on three guys himself, all of them a head taller than him. "Oh yes, of course. I have absolutely no doubts about that.", James said and Regulus pressed his lips together, cleared his throat softly and then slowly walked towards him. "Yes, but still, it would probably be appropriate to thank you, so...thank you.", he replied, and maybe it was the fact that James was wearing a mask and Regulus didn't know it was him, but somehow his high spirits got the better of him and he spoke the following words without believing they would have any consequences.

"Well, if you want to show your gratitude, then you could kiss me.", he suggested, honestly intending it to be a joke and when Regulus looked at him and James didn't understand his gaze at all, panic gripped him and his mouth felt dry. "I-I was just kidding! Obviously. You uh don't have to thank me at all and I uh...I'll leave now, yeah.", he stammered, turning on his heel and jumping into the branches of a tree, that was growing across the street. He probably would have just fled and left Regulus standing under that street lamp if Regulus hadn't suddenly called out for him.

"Spider-Man, wait! Wait, I uh...y-you're wrong, okay? I really need to give my thanks because what you're doing isn't something that comes naturally. You save people's lives, every day, and you don't want anything in return, you accept that some hate you and some want to kill you and that's..." Panting, Regulus came to a halt beneath the branch James was perched on and looked up at him. "I admire that. And I think you deserve some gratitude, so..." He bit his lower lip and James melted when he saw Regulus blush, for he still looked just as fantastic as the first time James had laid eyes on him that evening.

And if there was one thing that was absolutely mesmerizing, it was Regulus Black, who was at a loss for words and didn't know what to say. Very slowly, James lowered himself head first down the branch until he was at eye level with Regulus. He was so close that he could hear him swallow nervously, even though James' own heart was pounding so hard he thought it was about to explode. "I uh usually don't do stuff like that and...uhm it's not who I am, but..." Regulus didn't look at him, his hands hung uselessly at his side, reaching for nothing and James knew that what was between them was about to break, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

"That's okay, you don't have to explain yourself. Especially not with me. You can do whatever you want.", he said, trying to sound casual and Regulus' head snapped up. They just looked at each other in silence for a second, then very slowly Regulus raised his hands and pulled the mask over James' chin and mouth, just far enough that only the tip of his nose was sticking out from under the fabric and James closed his eyes. Regulus' hands felt warm as his fingers gently cupped his cheeks and then there was a breath caressing his lips before something else pressed against them.

Soft and demanding, somehow sweet and bitter at the same time. As if something was digging into his chest, but it was Regulus who was driving it deeper into his flesh and although it hurt, the pain was worth it because James was well aware that this was not the moment when all his dreams would come true and all the longing would finally come to an end because while it was he who kissed Regulus, Regulus was not kissing James. It was a sad truth that could not be brushed aside and could not be ignored.

Like a tiny rock inside a shoe and sooner or later you would have to stop to take your shoe off or the stinging would never stop. James knew he wouldn't be able to hold on to that kiss, no matter how good it felt because it did. It felt so, so good and so right but this wasn't the start of a romantic love story. It was a glimpse of the possible ending, a quick flip to the final chapter of a book, a 'maybe someday but not so far away'. But for that split second, James decided that it was enough and that later he would have plenty of time to grieve about the fact that Regulus might have fallen in love with someone who didn't really exist.

Because Spider-Man was only a small part of him, but right now he was the part Regulus wanted and James was willing to give him all of it. He shoved his hands into Regulus' hair, tentatively begging for entrance with his tongue, which was immediately granted when Regulus parted his lips and a sound escaped him that shot through James' entire body like an electric shock, setting him ablaze. Regulus' mouth was hot and velvety and tasted like a promise and then it was over. James felt a taste of fruit punch lingering on his tongue with a hint of alcohol and something that was all Regulus.

Regulus, who was backing away now, eyes slightly misted, cheeks flushed, hair a mess, mascara and eyeliner smudged just the tiniest bit. He looked absolutely gorgeous and James wanted to kiss him a second time but that wouldn't have been a good idea for a million reasons so instead, he adjusted his mask and climbed back onto the branch. "You might want to call someone. There are bound to be people who are worried about you and I'd be more comfortable knowing you'll get home safe.", he said and Regulus, still a bit entranced, nodded absently.

"Y-Yes, you're right. Thanks again.", he replied, looking up, but Spider-Man was gone, the only remnant being a gentle tingling on his lips that didn't want to stop. Familiar in a way Regulus couldn't describe, and in his head it all felt a bit spongy and fluffy like the kiss had gotten him drunk. Regulus glanced up at the branch again, as if Spider-Man would magically reappear, but that wasn't the case as he surely had better things to do than babysit him, so he whipped out his phone from his pocket and dialled his brother's number.

"Reggie?!" He sounded panicked, out of breath, and Regulus immediately felt guilty. "Yes, it's me." "Oh thank God, are you alright?", Sirius wanted to know, less panicked now but still worried and Regulus looked down at his feet. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry I just left.", he mumbled and Sirius gave a little huff. "Oh it's alright, just send me your location, you idiot and I'll pick you up. And then we'll go home.", he replied and Regulus did exactly that but was clever enough to move away from the still-unconscious guys who had harassed him earlier.

Less than ten minutes later, Sirius came running down the street and hugged him tightly before starting to scold him. "You know that walking around the city while being angry never does anything, except that you end up getting in some kind of trouble and I'm dying of worry.", he grumbled and Regulus ducked his head slightly. "Yeah, I know. I already said I'm sorry.", he murmured and Sirius punched him in the shoulder. "Oh stop looking like a beaten puppy, I know you're a drama queen like me, so I can't really blame you. The most important thing is that you're okay.", he said before putting an arm around him.

"You are okay, aren't you?" "Yeah. I mean, there were a couple of guys who uh...came a little too close, but uh, Spider-Man showed up and nothing happened to me. I promise.", he explained, or rather blurted out, because Regulus wanted this unpleasant confession to be over as soon as possible. Sirius blinked at him dumbfounded and a whole range of emotions rushed across his face before he seemed to settle into relief and hugged Regulus again. "Okay, good. That's good.", he whispered, practically clinging to Regulus, who only now realized that the whole thing could have ended really badly.

But he hadn't had much room for fear in his life, not least because their mother had tried to drive that weakness out of them altogether, and even in the moment before Spider-Man had appeared he hadn't really felt fear. Still, as his brother held him like there was a chance he might never be able to do that again, Regulus felt a different kind of fear. Not that paralyzing poison that immobilized you, but the kind of fear that made you despair at the sudden realization of what would be left behind if you were ripped from the lives of those you loved.

So Regulus pressed himself against his brother's chest and buried his face in his hair and it didn't matter at all how long they stood there on the street in the middle of Notting Hill. "I'm sorry I always have to play the hero. I know it annoys you, but I can't help it. But if you're going to be mad at someone, it's me, not James. He means well and he knows how much you mean to me.", Sirius said eventually as they sat in a cab taking them back home. "I know it's just...sometimes I find your generosity really sickening. I don't know why that is, probably because of mother's fabulous upbringing.". Regulus muttered, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"Oi, don't even start talking bullsh*t like that. You and I are both really screwed up, but we're nothing like our mother. You must never think that, Reggie.", Sirius replied instantly, almost a bit harsh, but Regulus knew it was important for him to get that straight. "We are not who they wanted us to be and we never will be." "Yeah, I know...I just find it hard to believe sometimes...", Regulus confessed, embarrassed, because while he knew he wasn't a bad person per se, he didn't think of himself as someone who could have compared with someone like James.

James, who was thoroughly good and maybe not perfect, but came really close with his ridiculously big heart and his absurdly bright shining light that bathed everything in a golden warmth that made everyone automatically believe that someday everything would be just fine. "Okay, now you go take off your make-up and go to bed right away. That's an order from your big brother, so don't you dare ignore it.", Sirius said as soon as they entered their flat and Regulus rolled his eyes before wishing him good night and then disappearing into his room.

Sirius, on the other hand...well, sleep wasn't an option for him now, so he did what he often did when his head was too busy and climbed onto the roof of the building they were staying in, where all was calm and quiet, so the only noise the one inside his mind. Spread out beneath him was London, which didn't seem to sleep even at night, and Sirius sat on the edge of the roof, dangling his legs and taking a deep breath. Actually, the evening should have gone differently. It was supposed to be a party where he could have some fun, but somehow he and his brother had a talent for getting into trouble.

And if they didn't get into trouble then trouble found them. Why couldn't things be simple for a change? Why did everything always have to be complicated? Why was life like an Ikea cupboard but someone had thrown away the instructions? Sirius buried his face in his hands, wishing there was a button he could press that would pause the chaos around him for just a second. He just wanted to catch his breath. He just wanted... "Rough night?", a familiar voice asked out of nowhere and Sirius almost fell off the roof in shock.

Chapter 10

Chapter Text

Crouching on all fours, Sirius stared up at Remus who was standing in front of him and although he couldn't see his face he was pretty sure he was grinning. Or at least smirking. "Holy sh*t mate, you can't scare me like that! What if I fell off the roof?", Sirius asked, gesturing around wildly while trying to get himself into a position that didn't look quite so pathetic. "Then I would catch you.", Remus replied, sitting down next to him, one leg dangling casually over the edge, the other pulled up to his chest so he could brace himself on his knee.

And he said it with such sincerity that it made Sirius' throat tighten because...this guy was a total stranger and yet he would save him without hesitation, again and again. Something inside Sirius began to throb almost painfully and heat rose up in his face making it feel like his cheeks were burning, and while his throat was beginning to feel scratchy and dry his hands got clammy. "I mean...I uh...what are you doing here?", he finally croaked out, his voice cracking like he had just entered puberty and Sirius wanted to turn away in embarrassment.

Because even though he didn't know anything about Remus and Remus knew nothing about him, for some reason it mattered to him that Remus thought of him as cool. Well, as cool as one could be if the first meeting had been to be rescued from three obnoxious bastards trying to grope him, but that had nothing to do with dignity, and as silly as it sounded, Sirius hoped it didn't make Remus see him as just a victim. He hoped Remus wasn't looking at him and seeing someone who was weak and couldn't take care of themselves.

Someone who would let fear paralyze them and then carried that fear around with them forever, unable to let go of it, no matter how bad it was poisoning them. And maybe cool wasn't the right word to describe the image Sirius wished Remus had in mind when he looked at him. Sirius just wanted Remus to see more than the panic in his eyes, he must have seen that day. He wanted him to realise that there was more to it than that. That he was interested in learning about the other things Sirius had to offer.

Remus, whose face he didn't even know and yet Sirius wished he could show him more and maybe eventually all of himself, even if he never got anything in return. Oh god, Peter would freak out if he knew what was going on. "Well, against all odds I wanted to see you again. And I wanted to ask how you are doing.", Remus said and when Sirius glanced up, he found that Remus' eyes never flickered away, not for a single second. Even with the mask on he could feel his eyes never leaving him, searching, exploring, finding every detail worth to be found.

Sirius swallowed hard and tried not to sound shaky when he finally answered. "I'm fine. Just the usual madness.", he said and Remus laughed, a short, lighthearted-sounding laugh, breathy yet full, and it reminded Sirius of how it felt when you put on a warm, cosy sweater for the first time. Remus' laughter was like a hug he never wanted to end and he was so ready to make a fool of himself just to hear Remus laugh again. "Yeah, seems like it. I've got a feeling I interrupted your brooding session.", Remus said with a chuckle and he tilted his head back slightly.

The light of the full moon hanging in the dark sky played around his shoulders and his long limbs, which would've looked lanky and awkward on any other man had he been his height, but it kind of suited Remus and Sirius found himself staring at his hands, silently wondering what it would be like to interlace his slender fingers with his own. "I wasn't brooding. I just...I don't know, I just wanted to catch my breath I guess. This week has been really crazy and I could really use a break.", he said, still eyeing Remus' fingers and Remus gave an affirmative hum.

"I can understand that. Sometimes I have the feeling that everything is going too fast and the world is racing past me and then my head is spinning and I would like to stop time for a moment so that I can somehow collect myself.", he replied and rested his chin on his knee. "Yeah...exactly. It feels like I'm drowning in all this and there's no one to save me. My life doesn't suck, but..." "But it can still overwhelm you.", Remus finished and Sirius nodded. "I know how you feel. But if that puts your mind at ease, even though you might be a mess inside right now, you uh... you look really amazing.", he then added, a little quieter this time and not quite as confident.

Still, Sirius' heart stumbled along clumsily for a few beats before catching itself and then it started to flutter so excitedly that he could feel the pulse pounding in his throat. He became acutely aware of the heat flooding his cheeks again, but he didn't think to hide it because...Remus shouldn't mind seeing what that compliment was doing to him. "Amazing, huh?", he repeated, hoping it sounded teasing, a little playful, because he was still Sirius f*cking Black and if there was one thing he could do, it was flirt.

"Y-Yeah, you've already looked at yourself in the mirror today, right? Because if you haven't, I'll tell you again. You look beautiful.", Remus replied, a little wobbly, but he didn't look away, trying not to avoid what was slowly pulling them towards each other like two magnets. "You know, I'd really like to say it back.", Sirius said softly, praying that hadn't come across as too demanding because while he wanted nothing more than to see Remus' face, he certainly didn't want to scare him off by being too pushy.

"Yeah, well, about that...", Remus murmured, who hadn't taken flight but had backed away a bit and Sirius bit his lower lip. "Y-You don't have to take it off. I won't force you to. It's fine whatever you decide. I, uh, can understand if you say you can't show me your face because it would be dangerous because of your job and stuff, but I'd really like to know what you look like because I've been wondering about that since we first met and...oh god I talk too much." Sirius buried his face in his hands and tried to take a deep breath.

Why was he acting so silly? It's not like he's never been in love or had a crush, and it certainly wasn't the first time he's been flirting with a guy, so why was he babbling like his brain had stopped working? "Hey no, it's alright. I uh...honestly it wouldn't matter regarding my job if you know what I look like or not. It's just... I... I'm shy.", Remus explained helplessly and put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Shy?", Sirius echoed in disbelief, snapping his head up. "You took out three guys at once in less than a minute and I'm pretty sure you killed at least one of them and you're telling me you're shy?"

Remus shrugged uncertainly, but kept his hand where it was, Sirius noticed that, and seemed to be searching for the right words. "Well, you...you look so...so stunning and I don't. I'm pretty average and I...I have scars all over, including my face and..." "Jesus Remus, it's not a competition. And contrary to what my classmates might say, I'm not a shallow bitch, so...I'd really like to know the face of the man who rescued me and brought me home afterwards, okay?", Sirius interrupted firmly, but carefully, and reached out for Remus' hand, which immediately snuggled perfectly into his.

Like it was always meant to be, two pieces of a puzzle finally completing a picture.

Remus swallowed hard, apparently struggling with himself, but then decided to believe Sirius and yanked the mask off his head. And if ever there was someone who fit the description 'average', Remus definitely wasn't that person. The first thing Sirius noticed were his amber eyes, which almost seemed to glow in the dark, and his honey-coloured locks catching the silvery moonlight, flattering his slightly angular features and making him look like a Greek god descended to earth to grace the mortals with his sacred presence.

Not even the scar that cut through his left eyebrow or the one that ran across his face could have changed the fact that he was the most handsome man Sirius had ever seen. There was something untamed about him, something raw that was impossible to put into words but that he wanted to explore with his teeth and Sirius had a hard time stopping himself from running his thumb across his full bottom lip. Completely unasked, Sirius' brain jumped into action imagining wild kisses and hands pulling his hair and holy sh*t, what kind of twisted self-perception did Remus have that he didn't know how hot he was?

"Sirius? Can you...can you please say something and not just stare at me?", Remus murmured and Sirius blinked a few times before opening his mouth, spitting out the first thing his mind could think of. "Beautiful. Y-You're beautiful." Remus' golden eyes widened in disbelief and surprise and the small smile that crept onto his face instantly engraved itself in Sirius' heart. He was lost. Lost in the miracle of this boy and his smile and his laugh and his everything. "Do you really think that?", Remus asked sheepishly and Sirius nodded quickly, perhaps a little more vigorously than was necessary.

"Yeah absolutely. You...f*ck you could be a model. O-Or the really hot bassist in a really cool punk rock band.", he replied immediately and Remus laughed, that laugh that started deep in his chest, the laugh that Sirius wanted to catch and keep all to himself. "You think I'd do well as a bassist?", Remus smirked, casually stroking the back of Sirius' hand with his thumb and Sirius nodded again. "Yeah, bass players are always hot. That's basically a rule when it comes to bands.", he explained, unable to take his eyes off Remus, whose olive complexion looked flawless in the light of the full moon, his scars running across his skin like threads made of silver.

"Average my ass.", Sirius huffed and playfully punched Remus in the shoulder. "You're the first to look at me like I'm an extremely valuable work of art.", Remus replied amused and Sirius felt like bursting with emotion. "It would be a waste not to look at you like that.", he whispered and leaned forward slightly so that their foreheads almost touched and he could clearly see the fine freckles that would probably only come out of their hiding place in summer, once the sun had lured them out. "You deserve to be worshipped..." "Shut up.", Remus giggled and Sirius grinned. "Make me."

And he did. In arguably the most effective way that existed and Sirius forgot everything around him the moment he felt Remus' lips press against his. Sirius had no idea how, but Remus tasted like chocolate, sweet and tart because of course he was someone who favoured dark chocolate. Driven by something unstoppable, Sirius slipped a hand through Remus' hair and slid closer, wanting to feel his warmth, wanting to know what it felt like when his fingers gripped him and his mouth left marks on his skin.

He wanted all that and more, he wanted to drown in that kiss that felt like everything Sirius loved. On Remus' lips was the first David Bowie album Andy had gifted him, the first leather jacket he had ever bought, his room at the Potters' which was right next to James's, the silver necklace that originally belonged to Regulus and which he had taken with him when he had run away. Remus' lips felt like a home he hadn't known until now but had always been waiting for him. His mouth fulfilling a desire he hadn't known had plagued him, a dream he'd always forgotten as soon as he woke up.

The kiss wasn't enough and at the same time too much, overwhelming and swallowing him whole, and Sirius thought he could hear his world shatter. But it didn't matter because, in the middle of nowhere, there was Remus holding him, his arms keeping him safe and sound. Maybe a touch of madness played a small part in all of this, but Sirius didn't want to think about anything else at that moment and wanted it never to end, but eventually, it did when Remus suddenly flinched and stared at him in shock.

For one awful second there was something in Remus' eyes that made Sirius think he'd made a mistake, but the feeling on his lips was screaming no inside his head. And yet Remus had just pulled away from him as if he'd been burned by Sirius' touch. "Is everything...?" "I'm sorry.", Remus hastened to say, stumbling and staggering to his feet. "I shouldn't have done that." The words felt like a slap in the face and Sirius wanted to ask why and why he had kissed him then, and he wanted to scream and say that he didn't care if it had been wrong because it felt so right.

But none of it had time to form into sensible sentences because before Sirius could even catch his breath, Remus had grabbed his mask, jumped off the roof, and was gone. As if he had never been here. And Sirius' world stopped, squeaking to a halt before shutting down completely.

Something heavy settled on his chest and before he could convince himself that it didn't matter and that he shouldn't get so upset about a single kiss, tears welled up in his eyes. Yes, maybe it was stupid, but the heart didn't care for such rational thoughts. The heart knew only joy and pain, so Sirius let that get the better of him and, with tears streaming down his cheeks and trying not to sob too loudly, he shuffled back into the flat, crawled onto his bed and curled up under the covers.

~***~

Sunday, 9:48 am - Belgravia, London

"Sirius?" Regulus knocked on his brother's door for the third time, but again there was no answer. "Sirius come on, I made us bagels for breakfast.", Regulus said, leaning his forehead against the door and sighing. "If you don't want to eat them, at least say so, but don't just keep quiet about me..." There was a full minute of silence and Regulus wondered if Sirius was either still asleep or had decided to just be an asshole today and ignore him. "Ugh, bloody hell..." Regulus turned the handle and promptly stumbled over Sirius' shoes from the night before, just barely managing to catch himself and save the bagel.

The room was dim, the curtains were drawn so the sunlight was sparse, turning the dust in the air into fine, glittering particles that danced around aimlessly, and on the bed, there was a single ball, curled up like a hedgehog. The covers slowly rose and fell and all that peeked out from under it were three toes and a small tuft of black hair. Regulus huffed, set the plate with the bagel on the dresser, where it found little space among the make-up, hairspray and jewellery, and then trudged through the mess of clothes and school stuff.

"Oi, what's going on? Talk to me.", he demanded, hands resting on his hips, but Sirius didn't even grunt or make any noise. Frowning, Regulus walked around the bed and used his fingertips to pull the covers down a tiny bit. Like a sun-loathing vampire, Sirius immediately screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in the pillow, but Regulus could still tell that he hadn't removed his make-up and judging by the state of the floor he hadn't changed into his pyjamas last night either, but had in slept in the clothes from the party.

Which was very unusual for Sirius, who had a meticulously planned beauty and self-care routine before bed and the fact that he had neglected it was a clear indicator that something was amiss. "Sirius, hey...what's up?" Regulus crouched down by the bed and nudged the tangle that his brother was lightly, but apparently, he was too exhausted for even a groan of annoyance. "Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do for you?", Regulus asked as gently as he could, but Sirius merely disappeared completely under the covers, denying his little brother any further interaction.

And unfortunately, Regulus wasn't very good at being there for other people or cheering them up because somehow he didn't quite know what to say, all the words in the world suddenly became meaningless when someone he loved started crying and he panicked and didn't know what to do with himself. Which in turn made him feel useless and if he couldn't even be there for a friend what good was he anyway? "O-Okay, I'm uh...I'll be right back.", Regulus said, awkwardly patting what he thought to be Sirius' back and then stumbling back out of the room to search for his phone.

A small pang of guilt set in when he realized he'd still saved James under his last name, but he tried to ignore it, dialled his number and waited for the monotonous beeping to end and James' voice to release him. And after only two beeps that was the case when there was a soft crack and James spoke up, sounding slightly out of breath. "H-Hey Reg, good morning!" Regulus flinched and held the phone away from his ear. How the hell could he sound so motivated on a Sunday morning?

"Did you sleep well? Did you get home safely yesterday?", he asked and Regulus wanted to roll his eyes in annoyance, but instead, a small smile crept onto his lips. "Y-Yes, I'm fine. I guess Sirius texted you that he found me and took me home.", he replied, and there was an odd pause in which James probably nodded, apparently having forgotten that this was just a phone call and that Regulus couldn't see him. "James?" "O-Oh! Yeah, um he texted me. I'm glad you're okay.", he then hastened to say and Regulus smirked, amused by how James managed even in a situation like this...well, to be so much like himself.

All genuine, a little dopey, but utterly lovable and... "Why did you call Reg?", James asked and Regulus suddenly remembered that this wasn't about listening to how James made a fool of himself. "Um yeah, I uh...it's because of Sirius. I don't think he's doing well and to be honest, I don't think I'm handling this particularly well because I don't know what to do and...and what I'm actually trying to say is, can you please come over? He needs you.", he explained and at the other end of the line, it started to rustle loudly. "Alright, I'm on my way, Reggie.", James said firmly and Regulus swallowed hard.

"Thanks, I...see you soon.", he replied and hung up. James hadn't hesitated for a second. He had found out that his best friend was having a bad way and promised to come right away. As much as Regulus had tried to hate him back then, that had never been an option because James had welcomed him with open arms after he ran away from home. He'd let him have his bed and slept on the sofa instead, he'd lent him his clothes for the first two days because he couldn't take any of his own belongings with him, and he'd just been so wonderful and thoughtful and patient.

Every mean word, every hissed insult and he just took it all because James must have seen something in him that had convinced him Regulus was worth it. And he would never be able to make up for that. Regulus would never have the chance to show James how infinitely grateful he was and how much he admired and envied him. It had been different when he had been fifteen, when his own brother had left him and chosen James Potter instead. But by now Regulus had understood that Sirius hadn't really had a choice. Had he stayed in that house it would have killed him and the same thing would surely have happened to him.

Somehow they both owed James their lives and yet he was always willing to give more, more of himself and just about everything he had to offer and Regulus hated him a bit for it, but trying to hate James was sort of like trying to escape the warmth of the sun. It just seeped through everything and overcame every wall, and just as effortlessly, James had managed to somehow reach Regulus's vulnerable core. But as if that tricky sneak-in wasn't the cause of enough chaos, there was now the burning memory of the kiss he'd bestowed on a masked hero last night.

His first kiss to be exact and he had given it to a total stranger. "sh*t, what's wrong with me?", Regulus sighed, flopping onto his bed. He didn't even regret it because it hadn't felt like kissing a stranger, which made absolutely no sense and he hadn't even told anyone about the kiss. Suddenly Regulus had the urge to tell James, but he immediately pushed that aside because...he and James weren't really friends, were they? James was the boy who saved him and his brother from their own family, but he had always been Sirius' friend. So what were they? Acquaintances? Some kind of found family?

sh*t no, he didn't want to think of James as an adoptive brother, that definitely felt wrong, and besides, he was pretty sure you shouldn't blush when your brother complimented you. "f*ck..." Regulus ran a hand through his hair and stared at the ceiling of his room. His insides were a mess, a library on fire and he couldn't decide which book to save first plus music was blaring from somewhere and an inner voice was screaming at him. How the hell was he supposed to be able to focus on anything? It was just too much at once and Regulus had the choice of either locking it all away and stubbornly ignoring the chaos or letting it overwhelm him and drown in it.

Both options kind of sucked, but he wasn't even sure he could have put it into words, even if he had had the courage to do it. He jumped when the doorbell rang shrill and loud and nearly slipped as he skidded down the hall, but he got the door open and there was James, his hair a mess as usual, his glasses slightly askew on his nose and he was wearing a misbuttoned red and black plaid shirt and unlaced Converse. He looked completely and utterly perfect. "Hi.", Regulus managed to get out and James smiled and oh god, Regulus felt his knees go weak. Bloody hell...

"Hi.", James replied and entered the flat. It wasn't his first time here so he knew where Sirius' room was and he knocked once before sticking his head inside. "Sirius? Hey mate, it's me." James slipped inside and Regulus slowly followed him. Sirius didn't answer him either, but that didn't surprise Regulus. What surprised him, however, was that James crawled into bed with Sirius and carefully tugged the covers down a little. "You didn't even take your makeup off, I suppose that means something really sh*tty happened.", he said softly and Regulus, politely keeping his distance, only heard the pillow rustle faintly as Sirius nodded hesitantly.

"Okay, do you want to talk about it? We both know that you'll feel better if you talk about it.", James continued and there was a very long silence, and Regulus thought James wouldn't be able to help either when Sirius took a shaky deep breath and began to speak. "I was on the roof last night. I wanted to think for a bit and then...he showed up.", he explained in a voice that sounded straight out of the grave. "Who showed up?", James wanted to know and Sirius fished his hand out from under the covers to rub his eyes, which of course only smudged the eyeliner and mascara more.

"Remus. He was just there all of a sudden and...well, we talked and it was nice and then..." "And then?", Regulus asked, trying not to sound too urgent and Sirius' eyes darted to him. They looked watery and dull, like a murky pool in the midst of a grey autumn. "He kissed me. And it was nice and I'm sure he liked it too, but then...then he broke away from me and stared at me like I was nothing more than a big mistake.", he whispered wobbly and James stroked his hair. Regulus drew in a sharp breath and pressed his lips together. "Did he say anything else?"

"He said he shouldn't have kissed me and then he disappeared." Sirius pressed his face against James' chest and though he struggled to swallow the sounds, Regulus heard him cry. "I'm so sorry about that.", James murmured, both arms wrapped around Sirius and casting a quick glance at Regulus, a mutual understanding that now wasn't the right time to point out that getting involved with a mercenary was pretty dangerous and that they should try to focus on gently getting Sirius back on his feet. "You need to eat, Sirius. And a hot shower would do you good, too.", Regulus said and James nodded.

"I agree with Reg.", he replied, helping Sirius into an upright sitting position with incredible delicacy. Sirius looked like a very depressed cross between a panda and a raccoon, but Regulus would never have said that out loud in a situation like this, so instead he grabbed the facial tissues that were lying on the dresser and sat on the end of the bed. He gently removed Sirius' makeup while James found him some comfortable clothes and then they manoeuvred him into the shower and headed to the kitchen together.

"You want a bagel too?", Regulus asked and James' face brightened. "I'd love to.", he said, and Regulus was glad because it gave him something to do and took his mind off of his raging thoughts, which were more out of control than ever in James' presence. So he made James a bagel and made some more tea while James leaned effortlessly casually against the counter and the morning sun streaming through the window caressed his silhouette as if he were freaking Apollo himself. As usual, Sirius took forever in the shower and when he finally exited the bathroom, the whole flat was immediately filled with warm, damp steam.

Hair half-wet, Sirius flopped down on the sofa between Regulus and James and silently accepted the plate Regulus handed him. They waited until he had swallowed his first bite and sipped some of his tea and then James cleared his throat gently. "Listen, I know that must have hurt, but there must be an explanation.", he said, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Exactly, and the explanation certainly isn't that you're a mistake.", Regulus agreed helpfully, but Sirius just looked at him with a deadpan expression, as if he claimed just yesterday that he was the sexiest creature to ever walk the earth.

"There are many reasons I'm sure but the most logical one is...he's a mercenary, mate. He's got a dangerous job and he sure as hell doesn't want you involved in anything.", James continued, but that too seemed like it not really improved Sirius' mood. "If so, why didn't he just tell me? Or better yet, why did he come to me in the first place if apparently, it's so dangerous?", he snarled, brows furrowed and angrily glaring at his bagel. "People do stupid things when they like another person. You ignore reason and just follow your heart.", Regulus murmured and both James and Sirius stared at him as if he had just said something incredibly wise.

At the same time though, there was so much confusion in their eyes as if Regulus had just tried to explain the theory of relativity to them. "Ugh, what I'm trying to say is that he likes you and didn't give a f*ck about the consequences. But then he remembered that he makes his money off shooting people and that he could put you in danger if he got involved with you.", he explained briskly and Sirius frowned. "But I still don't understand why he didn't just tell me...", he replied tearfully and Regulus felt his patience breaking, but Sirius looked really hurt and sad, and so it seemed to him that snapping at big brother now wouldn't be an appropriate response.

"Listen, we understand that it sucks and that you're hurt, but there's nothing you can do right now, okay? So eat your bagel, drink your tea and try to distract yourself for a bit.", James suggested, grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV. BBC News was on and a woman in a hideous lemon-yellow jacket pursed her lips at the camera before speaking.

"We have just received word that a group of masked criminals attacked and seriously injured some staff on the London Underground after they were caught entering areas closed to civilians. Exactly what they were doing down there is unknown as of now, but police have cordoned off the stations around Sloane Square and halted underground traffic, but have not been able to help the injured staff as any attempt to gain entry might cause the criminals to kill those who are injured."

"Oh sh*t..." Sirius lowered his mug and leaned forward a little. "What do you think they did down there? Hid a bomb?" "I hate that you always have to assume the worst...", Regulus mumbled, staring spellbound at the flickering screen himself. "Oh yes, I'm sorry. I forgot you practically invented pessimism. Sorry.", Sirius sneered, rolling his eyes, when James suddenly jumped up from the sofa as if stung by an adder. "James? Are you alright?", Regulus asked and when he looked up at James he almost didn't recognize him.

His whole body was tense as if electrified, his jaw seemed clenched and his hands were balled into fists. He looked like a soldier ready to go to war, even if it meant storming the battlefield alone. "I-I have to go. I'm sorry.", James said and immediately walked briskly to the front door. "What? Why? What's going on?", Sirius called after him confused, but James didn't stop and didn't turn around either. "Got homework to do!", he answered frantically before opening the door and his footsteps were already echoing through the stairwell as the door slammed shut again.

"Homework? What is he talking about? We don't have any homework for tomorrow.", Sirius said to Regulus, who was still staring at the door James had just disappeared through. "Dunno, but that was...weird.", he replied and Sirius nodded. "Yeah, more than weird.", he agreed, casting a thoughtful look into his mug. "But there's been a few weird things about him lately..." Regulus glanced at the TV, which was showing footage from the security cameras, and he wondered if Sirius might be right.

What else would a group of masked criminals want on the tube? Ride the District Line for free? Hardly likely. Unfortunately, his question about the bombs was a much more likely answer, but shockingly, the possibility of a terrorist attack wasn't enough to distract Regulus from the fact that James had just acted like a switch had been flipped. As if he had just realized that he hadn't yet woken up from a nightmare he thought was over. And that the worst was yet to come.

Chapter 11

Chapter Text

James had never liked riding the tube. Even as a child he had hated the narrowness, the crowds pushing and shoving and the feeling of being stuck underground. He had only felt safe on his mother's lap while lights, faces and the darkness of the tunnels rushed by outside. And even now he had the feeling of going into something hopeless, like a one-way street and there was no way out. "Come on, get it done and then we'll get out of here.", he heard a woman's voice echo as he crawled along the tiled ceiling and past the neon lights.

At the foot of the escalator were two men in the signature red and blue uniform, both unconscious, both with gunshot wounds, but James could hear a faint pulse, so it wasn't too late. He could still save them. But just grabbing them now and getting out of here would probably endanger many more lives and he couldn't leave without knowing what these guys were doing down here. Maybe Sirius was right. Maybe they had planted bombs somewhere, maybe not just here but all over the city, a systematic explosion that would destroy all of London at once.

The first domino in a line of many that would eventually bring down an entire system and then they would have reached their goal. Then the first step would be taken to destabilize the rest of the world as well until all structures known to mankind were so weakened that a single, very powerful person could step up and take the lead. But in the history of the world, it had never turned out well when one person held too much power. Such control concentrated on one human being had always resulted in suffering and devastation and many, many deaths.

James approached the group of five standing near the tracks and realized that two more were busy at the back of the track bed. "Ugh, I can't believe you guys were stupid enough not to pay attention to the alarm system.", the female voice moaned in exasperation and James recognized her, her wiry, slender body and the wild, black curls spilling out from under the silver mask. "It's always worked the last few times, I don't know what went wrong today...", a man muttered, who was twice her width and yet looked down as embarrassed as a child who has just been reprimanded.

"It doesn't matter! I don't want excuses, I want results!", the woman hissed angrily and her teammate flinched, although she didn't even raise her hand, but apparently, that wasn't necessary. She was obviously frightening enough that her very presence was terrifying enough so that doing what she said was better than risking her wrath. And maybe because they knew exactly what kind of atrocities she was capable of. She reminded James a lot of Sirius' mother, just a tad less controlled, less composed but a little more unhinged.

And suddenly it struck him that there was another person even more like the woman there. James had never met her in person, had only seen pictures of her and had Sirius tell him that she was kind of insane and he remembered what he had found on her Instagram account. She was definitely crazy enough to be recruited by a terrorist group that wanted to see the world burn and, oh yeah, she hated Spider-Man. Well, you don't get to choose your family, James thought before tearing himself away from the ceiling and landing almost silently on his feet.

"Hi, are you waiting for the tube too? Heard they stopped the traffic. Is that your fault by any chance?", he asked and four silver-masked members turned around hastily, only the woman with the wild hair turned calmly, her head tilted slightly, almost as if she wanted to make fun of him. "You're too late.", she said, sounding amused indeed, and then she laughed and James felt a chill run down his spine. Her laughter sounded like the distorted rumble of a broken record, shrill and crooked. As if she didn't even know how to feel true joy.

"Too late for what? Did the party start without me?", he asked, trying to keep his cool because once your opponents knew you were scared or insecure, the fight was all but lost. "Oh no, don't worry. You definitely won't miss the grand finale and...he has reserved a seat for you in the front row.", she continued calmly, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet like she wanted to play with him, like it was all just a game to her. "Well, unless you keep meddling in things that don't concern you. Then he'll have no choice but to get rid of you."

"By 'he' you mean your boss, huh? What was his name again? Voldemort?", James mused and suddenly her entire attitude changed as if someone had flipped a switch. "Don't you dare say his name, you filthy bastard! You're not worth saying it!", she yelled, and James knew then that he had hit a sore spot. No, she hadn't just joined the whole thing for fun or boredom. She adored Voldemort, he was her idol, she worshipped him and would do anything for him. That was dangerous, but on the other hand, it was also a welcome vulnerability for James to exploit.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I mispronounce it? Well, that's kind of his own fault, isn't it? And between us, that's a pretty silly name too, right?", he prodded and finally, she snapped. "Kill him!", she shrieked hysterically and yes, that was exactly how Sirius had described her. Always walking the tightrope and the smallest of things could throw her completely off balance. By now James was quite familiar with the brute force attack patterns of these guys and dodging the punches and using their own physical strength against them was no problem.

Swinging around pillars and off display panels, James had knocked out or immobilized all four guys in less than a minute and the woman, who he was now pretty sure was Bellatrix, snarled at him angrily, driven into a corner and thrashing around blindly like a wounded animal seeking a last resort. "Come on, get your two friends off the track bed and if you're smart enough to surrender, then I won't have to hurt you either.", James said but didn't consider the spark of insanity mixed with a drop of genius, which apparently had been instilled in all members of the Black family.

"You think it's that easy? If so, then you're even dumber than I thought.", Bellatrix sneered, jumping back onto the track bed. James immediately dived after her, but it was too late. All he heard before a loud bang ripped through the air was a yelled instruction from her to just detonate the small warhead and then everything sank into dust and flames. Breathing in seemed to burn James' lungs from the inside out and he was thrown backwards from the sheer force of the blast. He landed hard on his back, hitting his head on the rails and a high-pitched ringing shot through his skull.

Coughing, gasping for air and somehow trying to block out the pain that seemed to be coming from everywhere, James rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbows, internally yelling at himself to get back on his feet as soon as possible. Blinking around, James realized that Bellatrix and the other two were gone, so with a groan, he heaved himself off the track bed and hobbled over to the two employees, who were still injured and in dire need of help.

James knelt beside the men, wanting to take their pulses, when suddenly flashlights pierced the haze, footsteps sounded, and voices called out in a jumble. "Hands up Spider-Man!", someone shouted and James frowned in confusion. What? He just wanted to help. Didn't they realize that he wasn't the bad guy here? "N-No, you don't understand, I have..." "As soon as you show up here, the bloody station blows up, I think I understand very well. Now put your hands up where I can see them!"

It was a burly, resolute officer with grey hair and a grim face who had his gun pointed at James, and it was the kind of face that life's nicks had eaten into, leaving behind deep lines. He wouldn't believe a word James said, no matter what words would come out of his mouth. It didn't matter if it was the truth, that he had fought the criminals and caught four of them, or that he had wanted to help the injured. It didn't matter because right now he was here and they could blame him for what had happened. Sadly, not always were the facts regarded as the truth. Instead, people chose to believe what felt like an easy explanation.

Unfortunately, the truth isn't always easy, James' father had explained to him when he had once lied about not daring to admit that he had broken a mug. "I won't say it again, you freak! Put your hands up!", the officer repeated and James stood up very slowly, hands above his head. He could really do without a gunshot wound today. "I'm sorry.", he said and the officer's eyebrows furrowed when a spider web hit him square in the face, and James made his way through the ventilation shafts while bullets ricocheted against metal somewhere.

"f*ck, that really couldn't have gone any worse...", James muttered to himself as he finally crawled back to the surface and pulled the mask off his face on the roof of a high-rise building at 53 Sloane Street. He carefully touched the back of his head, which was still throbbing dully, and his fears were confirmed when he saw the blood. "sh*t..." James rubbed a hand over his face. So Sirius was indeed right, it was about blowing up London. But if that was the case, then why the stolen chemicals? Why the attempted kidnapping of an academic knowledgeable about said chemicals?

That made no sense. Unless... Hadn't Bellatrix been rambling on about a small warhead? Was what he had experienced down there in the tunnel perhaps only a tiny part of the destructive power of the bomb? "Okay James, now keep a clear head and think. If these are really chemical bombs, what will be the effects? Are they trying to poison the groundwater? Or is it an airborne gas? Is it deadly outright or does it just make you sick? And where are the other bombs hidden?" Of course, he didn't have an answer to any of those questions, no matter how much he racked his brains about it.

He would only find out what the plan really was about if he got his hands on one of them and got them to talk, or if he found their headquarters and spied on them. Neither of these were easy undertakings and he lacked too much information to find their hiding place. James had no idea where they would turn up next or where to look for them and...he was alone. It was one against many, maybe even against an entire army. How the hell was he supposed to do that? "sh*t, I'm so done...", he sighed and fell backwards, staring at the blue sky above him.

Single-handedly taking out an entire terrorist organization was just way too big for him, and if he would be stupid enough to try anyway...it could cost him his life. James closed his eyes and tried to let go for a moment because right now it felt like everything was getting too much for him, crushing him, but no matter how hard he tried to shut off his mind, it wasn't working. And it got worse when he looked at his phone less than half an hour later and was suggested an online article by 'The Sun'.

'Spider-Man and masked gang of criminals blow up tunnel together - maybe the friendly neighbourhood spider isn't so friendly after all?'

The comments were scathing, a flood of hatred and anger, citizens blaming him for what had happened, cursing his existence, demanding that he leave town or, ideally, that he should be gunned down by the police. And before he had never been hit so hard by negative press coverage, but this time it was different and James wanted to throw his phone off the roof, curl up and hide from the world forever. The news that he was now teaming up with the bad guys spread like wildfire and within minutes three other newspapers followed suit and the headlines became more and more absurd and lurid.

No one cared if what was written there was true, the main thing was that people could get upset about it, the main thing was that there was a culprit to point a finger at. Between the lines, James also learned that the two staff members hadn't made it and were pronounced dead at the hospital, and that was the last straw. He pulled his knees to his chest, buried his face in his arms and burst into tears. Why did people always have to see the bad in everything, even when it wasn't there? Why was it so much easier to hate and loathe? Why did people prefer to suffer rather than accept help?

It's not fair, James thought vaguely as hot tears rolled down his cheeks and he tried to choke back sobs. Nothing about the whole thing was fair, and while he had never sought credit for his actions, it hurt all the more that his name was now so discredited, mentioned in the same breath as people who murdered, stole and destroyed. Who had no qualms and would do whatever it took to achieve their goal and by getting in their way, James himself had become the target. Humans could be really cruel in all sorts of ways.

After another half hour, James made his way home and as it was Sunday and his parents were probably still at their favourite restaurant on Eccleston Street he didn't have to sneak in through the window to avoid being seen. James peeled off his suit, pushed it under the bed, and then got into the shower to wash off the dust, dirt, and blood. He stayed under the jet of hot water for what felt like an eternity, but when he finally looked at his blurred reflection in the mirror he didn't feel any better.

His whole back was already turning black and blue and the wound on the back of his head had stopped bleeding but still hurt, and James grabbed one of the small towels that hopefully his mother wouldn't miss and wrapped it around some ice from the freezer. He then retreated to his room with a packet of crisps and deliberately left his phone in the corner even though he could see that someone had texted him. But that would only tempt him to continue scouring the internet for the latest news articles about Spider-Man, and one sh*tstorm a day was truly enough.

So James heaved his laptop onto his bed, quickly opened a new browser and let himself be swallowed up by Netflix for the rest of the afternoon, where he began binging 'The Great British Bake Off'. Not that he was particularly interested in baked goods, but it was the first thing that came to mind that he could watch without fear of putting his mind on a dangerous downward spiral, and he remembered that Peter always enjoyed watching this show with his mum. And for a few hours, he ignored the outside world hoping it would ignore him too.

In the early evening, he heard the front door being opened and his parents coming into the hallway, cackling and giggling like teenagers. It sounded like they had enjoyed their long lunch and James looked up at the ceiling and wondered if he would one day have a tradition like this, going to the restaurant where you had your first date every Sunday, even though you've been married for years. Would he ever go weak at the thought of waking up to the same face every morning because the best of all ideas was to spend the rest of his life with this one person?

James firmly believed that his parents were the definition of true, deep love, two souls who were always destined to find each other and grow old together. "James? Sweetie, are you home?", his mother called up the stairs, but James couldn't bring himself to answer. Although the open wound had already begun to heal and all other injuries were not really worth mentioning, he still felt miserable, as if he had a fever that paralyzed his whole body. "James?" She sounded worried now because of course Effie, like most mothers, had a sixth sense when it came to her child's well-being.

James heard her come up the stairs, knock softly on his door and wait for a moment before popping her head into the room. "Darling, are you alright?", she asked gently with her warm and kind smile, which was a silent promise that everything would be alright and it broke down what was left of James' walls. He shook his head, lips pressed together to hold back a sob, but he couldn't quite manage it and a broken sound escaped his throat, and before the tears rolled down his cheeks his mother was there, holding him in her arms.

"Shhh, everything's fine, love. I've got you, I'm here.", she whispered and kissed his hair, rubbed his back and James just let go of everything that was trying to pull him down and she took everything from him. Effie was miraculously able to carry every burden James had thought to collapse beneath and maybe it was just some kind of mum magic or maybe Effie was just the most incredible woman who had ever lived. "You left in such a hurry this morning, was it because of Sirius? Is he alright? Has anything bad happened?", Effie asked and James shook his head.

He just managed to catch enough air to sniffle out a wonky 'No' before sagging back against his mother's chest, clinging to her. He vaguely registered his father entering the room briefly, but James didn't really come to until he was wrapped in a blanket, lying on the living room sofa, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in his hands, his mother's arms still protectively curled around him. His head still hurt, but that was probably from crying so much and his eyes felt swollen.

He certainly had to look awful, but it would never have occurred to James to feel ashamed because his parents had taught him from an early age that it was perfectly okay for boys to cry or show their emotions. That didn't make them any less of a boy, and it didn't make them weak either. "Are you feeling a little better, love?", Effie asked in a whisper, kissing James on the cheek. He nodded slowly, sipped some of the hot chocolate and tried to take a deep breath. "Mum?" "Yes?"

"Do you think helping others is always the right thing to do, even if they hate you?", James asked flatly, staring into space and Effie frowned. "Well, some people don't know they need help and turn it down. And others know they need help but are too proud to admit it.", she answered thoughtfully and James squeezed the mug to his chest, which had a repeating pattern of sneakers on it. "I know, but...if they really don't want you and they only give you hate...can it even be the right thing?"

"Yes and no. Helping others is a noble cause, especially when it's done out of a selfless drive, so helping is always the right thing to do when you can. But...at the end of the day, you don't owe anyone anything and there's nothing wrong with thinking about yourself every now and then.", Effie explained, resting her chin on James' shoulder. "So you should be selfish?" "Sometimes yes. You can't give yourself up completely for other people. If you give them everything, you have to be careful that you still keep a little bit for yourself, otherwise, you will break down and disappear."

Effie stroked James' hair and James looked over his shoulder at her round, kind face. "But what if there's no one else to help and your only choice is to either watch it all burn or save it all but you destroy yourself in the process?", he asked and Effie looked at him with hazel eyes that for a fraction seemed terribly sad. But then she smiled, and it was that unwavering smile that had always made James feel like he could do anything.

"I'll tell you something now, sweetheart. It doesn't matter what the world thinks of you. What matters is that you have people around you that you love and trust and as long as these people have your back, you can do anything no matter how big the obstacle.", Effie said firmly, cupping James' cheeks with both hands.

"Whenever you feel like you're stumbling and can't get up, remember that you are not alone and that someone will always be there to give you a hand." James swallowed hard, mostly to keep from crying again, but also because sometimes his mother's truths weren't easy to digest. But she was always right with everything she said and he would be stupid not to listen to her. So James nodded, finished his hot chocolate, replied to Sirius' text message that everything was okay and went to bed.

~***~

Monday, 6:40 am - Belgravia, London

The morning was cruel and despite the hot chocolate and his mother's words, James woke up feeling miserable. His head seemed to be bursting at the seams and his mind was overheating because there were just too many things going on in his brain. He was still very worried about the unknown plan of the masked criminals and the damage they could cause, the sh*tty stuff with the press and the negative reporting just didn't want to let go of him and on top of all of that, there was that kiss, that was just...everywhere, taking over every corner of his consciousness.

Regulus' soft lips, Regulus' breath, brushing his cheek, Regulus' hands in his hair, Regulus... Regulus, who was just lovely and beautiful and wonderful and who would surely drive James insane one day. He was so upset that while crossing the street he almost got hit by a very expensive car but his reflexes kicked in at the last moment and saved his life. Adjusting his glasses, James shuffled up the steps to the school's main entrance and was clinging to the hopeful thought of soon seeing his friends when suddenly someone grabbed his tie and dragged him into the boys 'loo.

"H-Hey! What the hell?!", James rumbled, tried to pull himself away and couldn't believe his eyes when he looked into the pale, long face of Snape, whose black beady eyes sparkled unusually maliciously. He seemed overly pleased with himself for some reason and James wished he could turn around immediately to avoid what was about to happen. "You look like sh*t, Potter.", Snape scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Really? Well, at least I know how to use a shower and shampoo.", James countered in exasperation, rolling his eyes.

"Funny, but I'm not here to let you insult me.", Snape replied coldly, pulling his phone out of his pocket. James was about to point out that he had insulted him first, but the sentence got stuck in his throat when he saw the photos that Snape presented to him with such a sardonic grin. It was him, putting on the Spider-Man suit and holding the mask in his hands. It was dark and photographed from an odd angle, but he was clearly recognizable. f*ck. f*cking f*ck. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

"I know the truth. And soon everyone will know it too.", Snape said and James stared at him. "No...you can't do that. It would put a lot of people in danger, people I love and care about. You have no idea what a mess you could cause." "Well, that sounds really horrible, but unfortunately I don't care.", Snape replied and put his phone back in his pocket. "You don't care? You'd have human lives on your conscience, Snape. I don't care what happens to me, but I won't let anyone get hurt because of you.", James growled through gritted teeth, clenching his hands into fists. How could he be so ignorant?

"Maybe you should have thought of that sooner, Potter. But...I'll be nice and give you a chance. I won't publish the photos if you leave me, Avery and Mulciber alone. You just let us do our thing and look away. Deal?" "What? So you can set up your own little reign of terror here? No, I'm not going to do that.", James clarified and Snape's thin lips twisted into an ugly grin. "Really? Can you live with innocent blood sticking to your hands?", he taunted, suddenly seeming much taller than James, who wanted to use Snape's face to smash the sinks one by one.

"You lousy, nasty, disgusting little co*ckroach...", he muttered under his breath and then took a step back. "Glad we agree.", Snape said and James gave a wry laugh. "You're blackmailing me." "Oh no, don't say that. That's such an ugly expression. We...have an agreement that benefits us both, Potter.", Snape replied, patting him on the shoulder in passing and then exiting the loo. James stared at the floor, trying to somehow breathe normally and control his anger because smashing all the mirrors now would surely only add to the misery. Luckily, at that exact moment, his phone vibrated.

It was Sirius, who asked him what was taking him so long and James threw some cold water in his face before forcing himself to take a deep breath and then walked to the lockers where Sirius and Peter were already waiting for him. "Oh wow...you really don't look good, mate. Are you alright?", the latter asked, putting a hand on James' shoulder. Gathering all the strength he had left, James managed a smile that probably wouldn't even have convinced a blind person and nodded. "Yeah, I just didn't sleep well.", he replied, praying they would believe that lie too.

"Okay, let's hope you don't crash away at Minnie's lesson. You know how much she hates that.", Sirius said and James chuckled weakly. Comfortably wedged between his two best friends, they made their way to the classroom while Peter recounted his Sunday, which he appeared to have spent on the couch with his mother while they and his sister Phyllis, joined in on facetime, had been busy with finishing the sixth season of 'The Bachelor'. "Honestly, Alex Marks really wasn't my type, I found Spencer Matthews a lot more attractive.", he babbled on happily as they took their seats.

However, they were abruptly interrupted by Marlene, who jumped between them with her phone in her hand. "Have already read it?", she asked, and James felt instantly queasy reading the article's headline. "Spider-Man is supposed to work with these guys now? You don't really believe that, do you?", Peter asked sceptically and Marlene groaned in annoyance. "Bullsh*t, of course not. But a lot of other people do.", she replied, scrolling down to the comments. Sirius leaned forward, his eyes darting over the display, and then he grimaced.

"These are almost all death threats. What's wrong with them? I mean, he saved so many people and I'll bet half of them still adored him two days ago and diligently ran fan accounts.", he said and Marlene shrugged. "That's how the internet works, buddy. Hate spreads much faster than anything else.", she replied, then quickly scurried into her seat as McGonagall entered the room. "It's unfair, they print a stupid headline and suddenly everybody starts calling him names and wants him out of town or dead. We really don't deserve him.", Peter muttered and Sirius answered him but James didn't hear it.

A steadily increasing beeping pounded in his ears, accompanied by his own heartbeat and the rushing of his blood. Everything else around him sank into a muffled murmur as if someone had wrapped the world in cotton wool and James felt like he was falling, deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss where darkness would eventually swallow him. He didn't notice how his body suddenly began to move as if by itself, almost as if remotely controlled, and when a voice asked if he could go to the toilet for a moment, he didn't recognize it as his own.

Everything suddenly felt strange, even being in this skin and James got the irrepressible desire to scratch himself free so that he would be able to breathe properly again because at the moment it felt like he was about to suffocate. Dazed, he staggered away down the hallway, stumbling through the door and sliding down the cool, white tiled wall onto the floor. The ringing in his ears didn't stop, seeming to dominate every thought in his head, and James closed his eyes, hoping that it would eventually stop while inside his chest it felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

And maybe that would have really happened, and he would have just died on the floor of the loo, if the door hadn't suddenly swung open, followed by a voice saying his name. Before James could even realize that he wasn't alone anymore, someone knelt down in front of him and gently grabbed his shoulders. "James? James, it's me. Look at me." The grip tightened, fingers dug into his upper arms, and the touch sent an electrical pulse through James' entire body. He opened his eyes and looked up, blinking into Regulus' face, who was staring back in concern.

"Can you hear me? You have to try to breathe, okay? I know it's hard and that it probably feels like you're about to die, but that's not going to happen, alright? Because I'm with you and I won't leave you alone." Regulus' hands slid from James' shoulders to his wrists and settled on his pulse, which was still out of control. "Focus on me and breathe. In and out.", Regulus said and James did as he was told. At first, his lungs rebelled, but it got easier with each breath and James just tried to think about Regulus being with him, being here and holding his hands.

"Very good, keep breathing." Regulus leaned forward and slipped his arms around his upper body. "Come on, try to get up and hold on to me. We'll take you to Madam Pomfrey, she knows how to deal with panic attacks." James made only a slurred sound of agreement and continued to do his best not to just collapse like an unstable house of cards, but Regulus was stronger than he looked and supported him, slowly and patiently encouraging him to put one foot in front of the other.

James only heard him through a veil as they reached the infirmary and he heard Madam Pomfrey speak in her usual calm and composed manner and then he was lying on his back. Slowly, very slowly, the fog that had enshrouded and stunned him seemed to lift and James realized that Regulus was sitting next to him, holding his hand. His finger was still on his pulse point as if to make sure his heart was beating as it should, but his shoulders looked stiff. "Reg?" He winced, apparently deep in his own thoughts, and let go of James' hand. And James immediately regretted breaking the silence.

"How are you feeling?", he asked, clearing his throat because there must have been something in his voice that James shouldn't have heard, but he didn't know what. "Better...I think.", James replied and Regulus nodded. "Okay, that's good. I'll get you something to drink.", he said softly and was about to get up when James sat up abruptly and grabbed his shoulder. "Don't! Stay...please. I don't want to be alone." Regulus looked at him with wide eyes where the ice had melted, leaving behind gentle pools of deep water.

And behind the perfect porcelain skin, James realized that Regulus was struggling with himself, fighting an internal battle until one side eventually won and he swallowed audibly and sat down again. "Okay, I'll stay with you.", he said quietly, reaching for James' hand, gently releasing the fingers that had been digging desperately into the fabric of his shirt. "Talk to me, huh? What was going on? What happened to throw you off track like that?", he asked then, sounding so alien yet so wonderfully soft that for a second James felt the urge to just tell him everything.

That he was on the verge of collapsing under public pressure, that he was afraid of failing as a hero, that he was the one who kissed him and that he wanted him more than anything. And all those things almost just fell out of James' mouth, but then he remembered what he had told Sirius about Remus. It was too dangerous. If anyone found out who he was and what Regulus meant to him, he would automatically become a target. That was exactly the reason why he had decided to keep this whole thing a secret in the first place. There was no way he could risk exposing Regulus to such a threat.

Because if something happened to him then James would never be able to forgive himself. "I...I'm...it's just all a bit much right now.", he choked out and while it wasn't a lie, it wasn't even close to the truth and James felt sick. Regulus, on the other hand, squeezed his hand tenderly before carefully but firmly withdrawing from his grip and then getting James to lie down again. "Okay, then get some rest first. You have terrible dark circles under your eyes, so try to get some sleep. It's the best thing you can do when there's no other way out of a situation like this.", he explained, fully in his element.

If James hadn't been feeling so miserable, he would have started teasing Regulus and asking if he wanted to give him more professional instructions and explain their scientifically based benefits, but he was too exhausted for that. So James dutifully did what he was told and closed his eyes. And Regulus stayed. James felt his presence, the warmth emanating from his body, and as he slowly drifted away, he thought that Regulus was staying solely because he wanted it that way. James hadn't asked him to, and even if he had, getting Regulus to do something he didn't feel like doing was nearly impossible.

And if James hadn't been so tired he probably would have started wracking his brain over what that could mean. Because if Regulus was really staying because of him, then surely that meant he felt something for him, right? He cared for him and that's why he stayed by his side, right? Maybe Regulus wanted him as much as James wanted him? That was possible, wasn't it? But James didn't ask himself any of those questions, he just enjoyed the safety of Regulus being near him and tried to ignore everything else.

He focused on the sound of Regulus' breathing, his calm and steady heartbeat and the feeling of his eyes resting on him to make sure everything was okay. And finally, James sank into a dreamless darkness that enfolded him in comfort and promised him a break from all the chaos and the mess that was his life, and oddly enough the voice making that sweet promise sounded a lot like Regulus.

Chapter 12

Chapter Text

The mood at the table during lunch in the cafeteria was icy, to say the least. As if the Cold War had broken out, except that Sirius, Peter and Marlene didn't know whose side they were supposed to be on. The former first noticed it during the break after Minnie's lesson, when Lily and Mary hadn't left the classroom holding hands as usual, but individually and at a considerable distance from each other. And now they were sitting next to each other, but as far apart as the table would allow.

Lily was picking at her food listlessly while Mary looked out the window, but it seemed like she wasn't paying any attention to the outside world, for her jaw was set, her eyebrows drawn together, and her beautiful, curved mouth pursed. It was an almost desperate ignoring of each other and it was so unusual and so unlike them that none of the other three knew how to react. Especially since nobody knew what had happened that the two now apparently had stopped talking to each other and at Peter's questioning look, Marlene just shrugged helplessly and Sirius sighed, because if she didn't know, then nobody did.

The silence that lay over them was oppressive, almost suffocating, because Mary had never been so quiet before and never before had it seemed as if someone had burned down the bridges between the two so that there was now an almost insurmountable chasm gaping between them. Sirius would have preferred the two girls to have argued and yelled at each other because silence always meant there was indeed a lot to be said but no one wanted to reveal their insides first because opening up meant making themselves vulnerable and then running the risk of being injured.

Sirius knew how much effort it could take to truly show yourself, strip down until you were naked, all armours and walls gone, to be honest, and spill everything that tore your soul and made your heart heavy. And judging by the way Lily and Mary had turned their backs on each other, something weighed incredibly heavily on them that neither of them could have shaken off on their own. "Should we say something?", Peter whispered as quietly as possible but Sirius shook his head.

It would've been stupid to get involved in something like this because the whole thing was far too delicate and fragile for that and secondly they wouldn't have been of any help anyway because they didn't know what had happened. And Sirius remembered that back then he too had never wanted to talk about it when things between him and Regulus had been complicated because he thought nobody would be able to understand him and that it was nobody's business either.

This was a matter between Lily and Mary and as long as neither of them asked for help or told them what had happened since Saturday, they would have to wait and see. Marlene, who crouched between her friends like a trench and occasionally gave them worried looks because she had absolutely no idea how to act, also just pushed her hash browns across the plate with a fork, but her eyes kept darting over her shoulder again and again. It wasn't hard to guess who she was trying to glimpse at, not very subtle mind you, and Sirius and Peter marvelled at the almost embarrassed eye contact between Marlene and Dorcas and every time their eyes met briefly they immediately looked in the opposite direction.

It was ridiculously and sickeningly cute because apparently they had finally managed to complete their tightrope act and had both fallen, caught by the net, lying on top of each other staring at each other, finally realizing their rivalry had been just dancing around each other. "About damn time.", Sirius murmured and Peter nodded in agreement, because they were absolutely certain that the stupid, silent ogling would hopefully soon lead to them snogging each other senselessly and then they would all be finally freed from the ever-growing tension between the two.

"Hey, do you think we should bring James some food to the infirmary?", Peter asked when suddenly a chair was loudly pushed back and Mary stormed out of the cafeteria with a disgruntled expression on her face, one hand clenched in a fist, the other clutching her phone and Sirius looked after her. He had never seen her like this before, hadn't even known it was possible for someone like Mary to look so angry and sad at the same time, but he was proven wrong when he looked at Lily, who was huddled at the table like a heap of misery, looking so down and biting her lower lip nervously that he almost didn't recognize her.

What the hell happened? What kind of f*cked-up parallel universe had he ended up in, where Lily sat sheepishly and contritely in a chair, shrivelled up in on herself, and where Mary had stopped smiling and laughing out loud? Something felt very wrong, like the earth was spinning in the wrong direction all of a sudden, and Sirius thought of James, who wasn't himself at all either, way too calm, with way too many lies on his lips and not enough joy in his eyes.

~***~

The Night After The Party - Part 1: Marlene

After the stuffy, heated air in the house, smelling of sweat and alcohol, the cool night breeze was a welcome change and Marlene put her hands on her hips for a moment, tilted her head back and took a deep breath. Pandora, still crying, sniffed and wiped her face, her glittery eye shadow smudged on the back of her hands and the rhinestones clinking softly as they dropped to the floor, but no one bent down to pick them up and it didn't matter.

"Why do they always have to fight? Someone always gets hurt and in the end, it doesn't make anyone happy.", she whined, her head resting on Dorcas' shoulder and her pixie blond hair almost glowing in contrast to Dorcas' dark skin. "Because boys are idiots.", Marlene said and Pandora looked up, her eyes wide and watery like two overflowing ponds after a flood, pale blue like violets and her nose red. "Don't say that. Regulus and Evan and Barty are actually very clever boys.", she replied with a trembling lower lip and Marlene's heart sank as if someone had filled it with bricks.

Dorcas gently stroked Pandora's arm and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Yes, but sometimes they can be very stupid.", she explained softly and Pandora stifled a sob. "I don't want them to fight all the time." "I know, but it's hard to ignore when someone says ugly things about you.", Marlene sighed and put her hands in her pockets while Dorcas fiddled with her phone and then tucked it between her cheek and ear. She probably called them a cab. "But those are just words, they shouldn't matter even if they hurt. Especially when they come from someone whose opinion shouldn't matter.", Pandora mumbled, tugging at the hem of her dress.

"We're not all like you. You're kind enough to ignore sh*t like that, but I guess Regulus and the others...we carry too much anger around." Marlene felt a lump form in her throat after speaking the words and Pandora's expression suddenly changed, she raised her eyebrows and parted her lips slightly, a silent 'Oh' on her tongue as if she had suddenly understood something of monumental importance. "The cab will be there in a few minutes. Are you coming to my place or Dora?", Dorcas asked Pandora, who then nodded without taking her eyes off Marlene.

"Hm yes, I don't want to be alone now.", she answered and Marlene felt uncomfortable as Pandora seemed to scrutinize her, seeming to take her apart layer by layer with her violet eyes, effortlessly striding through all the walls she had build around her and Marlene felt naked. "You should come too, I don't think you should be alone tonight either.", Pandora then announced and Marlene gave her a surprised look. "W-What? No, I...you don't have to...it's alright, I'll be fine on my own.", she stuttered, but Pandora shook her head.

"Just because you can do it on your own doesn't mean it's good for you.", she clarified and then gave Dorcas a very pointed look, which made Dorcas cringe as if her friend had said something, which she herself had known for a long time but had always successfully ignored. And Marlene had never seen Dorcas subdued, let alone imagined someone like her could ever be anything but bold and fierce. An awkward silence spread between the three girls in which Pandora started braiding her hair and every now and then cursing the boys under her breath, only to then reprimand herself.

And Marlene and Dorcas stood there, much too close and yet much too far apart and it didn't make sense that they suddenly couldn't look each other in the eyes because that too was too much and still not enough. Marlene couldn't figure out why it was suddenly so difficult to talk to Dorcas or even to be near her at all, because after all it had always been their thing to drive each other up the wall, to tease each other until the tension was almost at its breaking point and now? Now Marlene had the feeling of no longer knowing how to breathe in her presence.

Because now she didn't know what to say if not something like 'That's the best you've got, Meadowes?' and screaming and yelling about her beauty or her deadly grace was definitely not an option, Marlene would rather die right then and there. Dorcas was like a planet in whose orbit she had been trapped and she couldn't escape it, no matter what she tried, but she was afraid of what would happen once the inevitable impact occurred. Complete destruction or would she find herself surrounded by something completely new because Dorcas was more than just her rival that she was dying to beat at football?

And f*cking hell, why did she look so gorgeous, with her endless legs and perfect skin, flawless as obsidian, in stunning contrast to the bright neon orange miniskirt and blouse. Marlene thought she was staring straight into the sun when she shamelessly marvelled at Dorcas and had the self-destructive thought that it would be okay if she then went blind now because the image of Dorcas would still be burned into her retinas forever. The fact that Dorcas was as beautiful as a Valkyrie who had just emerged from a battle was nothing new for Marlene, she had understood that the day she had started school.

But as soon as Dorcas had beaten her in a race in their very first P.E. lesson, her ambition had cleverly overshadowed this fact and she had convinced herself that she hated her and despised her for wanting to be better than Marlene. It was a f*cked up logic and Marlene cursed herself for always wanting to be the number one, but Dorcas hadn't been any different and maybe that's why the rivalry had worked so well and maybe that similarity was why they were both trying to hide the same insecurities.

Without realizing it, they understood each other so well that it was now uncomfortable not being able to continue in the old rut because somehow they had crossed that line tonight. Neither Marlene nor Dorcas knew how, but something had happened between the drink and the fight and it was scary. Scary because Marlene suddenly didn't know what she wanted to do with herself if she wasn't mocking Dorcas or what to say to her or how the hell to stop herself from screaming into that girl's face how impressive she found her.

It was getting harder and harder and Marlene silently considered biting off her tongue, which would be a drastic measure but would prevent her from making a fool of herself, but then the headlights of a cab slid up the street and Marlene thought she heard Dorcas breathe a sigh of relief. They got in and...that was even worse than standing on the side of the road because now there was no way out and no escape and while Pandora leaned her head against the window and watched London at night, Dorcas and Marlene sat opposite each other, their ankles touching, their knees dangerously close together and Marlene started chewing on her lower lip to have something to do.

Music was playing softly on the radio that Marlene, after listening to it intensively, thought she could identify as 'The Velvet Underground', but even that wasn't enough distraction, because the narrow space meant that Dorcas' perfume began to get into her nose. It was surprisingly sweet, not sharp like her tongue sometimes, and she smelled of something expensive, maybe Chanel, which in turn suited her perfectly. Marlene risked a look, saw that Dorcas' brown eyes were focused on Marlene's torn jeans and swallowed hard.

"Well um...I know Pandora kind of invited me, but...it's still your house and I don't want to intrude.", she said weakly and Dorcas looked up, her eyes like black coffee in the morning and Marlene felt how something inside her said goodbye to disappear forever and instead Dorcas' eyes nested there, large and round with thick lashes and warm and bitter at the same time. "I wouldn't mind if you stayed.", she replied and seemed a little surprised at herself, as did Marlene, who could only nod and then did the same as Pandora and looked out the window, because at least that wasn't as intense as staring at Dorcas' face.

The cab finally stopped in front of Dorcas' parents' house, black exterior with large windows, modern and yet somehow with a certain historical charm and when Marlene looked up she could imagine Dorcas on the tiny balcony, a book in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. Because Dorcas was definitely the coffee type, tea didn't have the right kick to do her justice, Marlene decided at that moment and then Pandora hopped past her, the butterflies in her hair shimmered colourfully in the light of the street lamp and Dorcas very gently brushed her wrist, as she got out of the cab.

And suddenly Marlene was so intimidated by the idea of entering this house that she didn't move from the spot. "Are you coming?", Dorcas asked, her hand on the doorknob and Marlene could only stare at how soft and vulnerable she seemed in this hybrid of darkness and light, all hard edges gone. "I uh I think it should be just the two of you. A-And besides, my brother is visiting us and tomorrow he has to go back to college and..." Marlene was aware that she was babbling and also that she was lying, because Danny wasn't even visiting and yes, she was desperately looking for an excuse because she didn't feel ready at all to spend the night in Dorcas' room.

Dorcas eyed her and when she finally spoke her voice seemed strangely neutral, as if she was trying to hide something in her tone. "Okay, then...take the cab and get home safe, okay?" Marlene, to her own horror, pointed two finger guns at Dorcas and grinned broadly. "Don't worry, I'll be thinking of you, Meadowes.", she promised, because of course her stupid ass resorted to flirting as a defence. "Okay, then dream of me while you're at it.", Dorcas replied and Marlene almost stumbled backwards into the cab, because...how f*cking dare she?!

How could she just take Marlene's tactic and use it against her? That was worse than cheating or foul play, that was strategic warfare and Marlene was hopelessly at her mercy. "I-I will.", she replied shakily, laughing nervously and could have sworn she saw a twitch, the hint of a smirk, in the corner of Dorcas' mouth before she told her to take care of herself and then wished her a good night. Pandora waved at her and before Marlene could reply, the two of them had disappeared behind the front door and the annoyed cab driver asked for an address. Marlene, a bit delirious, answered him and when she fell into bed that evening, shoes and all, she didn't know how she was going to survive the coming week without getting on her knees every time Dorcas bloody Meadowes walked past her.

Part 2: Mary & Lily

Lily was staggering and so was Mary, but that was mainly because Lily was drunk and climbing the stairs to her room in this state was an extremely difficult feat. Especially since Lily was babbling nonsense all the time and had hardly been able to keep her hands off Mary in the cab until the former finally got a little sick and she lay down on the seat. But apparently, the thirty feet from the cab to the front door and the fresh air that came with it had cured Lily's nausea and now she was latched onto Mary's side, her nose pressed against her neck, constantly giggling and rambling about how much she would like to kiss her.

And Mary was in agony, because yes, she would love to kiss Lily, but not now and not like this. She had loved Lily since they were fourteen, ever since she had seen her stepping off a bus one summer morning in a cherry pink dress, cheeks flushed from the heat, red hair in two pigtails, freckles on full display and green eyes bright. Mary had loved Lily since that day and it had been okay because Lily loved her too, just in a different way, but it had always been enough and Mary had thought that somehow she would be able to cope with being no more than her best friend.

And it had worked, at least until tonight when Lily, singing, dancing and a little sweaty, had tried to kiss her and Mary almost gave in because by God she'd been dreaming of this for a really long time, but the thought of what the kiss actually was would mean, had ultimately discouraged her. Because for Lily it would be just a little fun, a fleeting adventure, a harmless thing between two friends, but for Mary, it would have been so much more meaningful, like a glimmer of hope, a silver lining, a whispered 'maybe' and that would have destroyed her.

It would have been a glimpse of what she could never have and that would have just been too much for her heart, and besides, it would have been wrong because Lily was drunk and it wouldn't be right to take advantage of her in this way. Mary would have regretted it in so many ways and it might have ruined what was most important to her, her friendship with Lily. But, good heavens, the redhead was stubborn, because even now, as Mary heaved her onto her bed with a lot of huffing and puffing, Lily wouldn't stop grabbing and tugging at her.

Mary almost lost her balance and would've landed on top of Lily, if she hadn't been holding on to the bedpost. "You're no fun.", Lily whined, sitting up, her lime green dress riding up her thigs and Mary felt the heat rush into her cheeks and looked away. "Well, I'm sorry, but one of us has to be responsible. At least a little bit.", she sighed and started to free Lily from her heels. "Ugh, we could have danced some more.", she mumbled and flopped back onto her bed, her red hair spilling across the rosy sheets like a splatter of paint against a blank canvas, the beginning of a masterpiece.

Mary sighed again and allowed herself to look at Lily for a split second, imagining what it would be like if she could just sink into her soft arms and snuggle into her. "I liked dancing with you...", Lily murmured and rolled onto her side, drawing her legs up and Mary felt her heart groan and ache like it was about to just fall apart. "I'll...I'll go get you a glass of water.", Mary muttered and Lily gave a low grumble of agreement. Mary grabbed the fluffy white blanket that was lying on the windowsill and draped it over Lily before scurrying downstairs to the kitchen.

She'd been here often enough to know which cupboard the glasses were in, and Mary took a deep breath as she turned on the faucet over the sink. "What are you doing here?", an almost disgusted voice asked and Mary rolled her eyes. Great, she really was the last person she needed right now. Mary put the full glass on the kitchen counter and turned around. In the yellowish light of the small chandelier hanging from the ceiling, Petunia looked even paler and her blond hair looked washed out, just like her skin. She was a scrawny, bony thing with a neck far too long, and so unlike Lily in everything that it was almost impossible to believe the two were sisters.

"I'm taking care of Lily, she drank a little too much at the party.", she said and Petunia gave a snort of disdain. "I'm not surprised. She's always been self-indulgent and egotistical, yet mommy and daddy's favourite.", she sneered, and Mary grabbed the glass. "She's friendly and kind, traits you never had, and unlike you, she's loved by those around her without effort. So stop hating her for something you'd like to be, turn down your jealousy a bit and work on being a good sister because, despite the fact that you really don't deserve it, she still loves you."

Petunia glared at Mary, her mouth set in a tight line and looking like she was going to say something, but Mary didn't wait for the words to come, but stalked past her and returned to Lily, who had rolled up into a little adorable ball. Mary closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing Lily's hair away from her face. "Hey, I got you something to drink.", she whispered and Lily scrunched up her nose, wrinkling her forehead and Mary knew the nasty aftermath of the alcohol had already set in. "I don't want to drink anything...", she mumbled in a slur and Mary put the glass down on her bedside table.

"What do you want?", she asked, knowing that she would definitely regret the question and she did. Because Lily's lovely mouth twisted into a tired grin and she stretched out her hands to Mary. "Lils, I don't...that's not a good idea for many reasons, trust me.", Mary said, wanting to get up, but Lily somehow managed to grab her hand and hold it tight. "Come on, you have to kiss it better because my head hurts.", she begged and tugged at Mary's hand, and Mary felt like she was instead tugging at her heartstrings. It hurt and Mary was only too happy to give in, but that would only make things worse.

"If you have a headache I'll get you some painkillers.", she replied and Lily let out a groan of frustration. "Holy f*ck Mary, it would just be a stupid kiss that doesn't mean anything. It's not like we're in love or anything.", she moaned and that was the final blow that brought Mary down to her knees. She brushed off Lily's hand, stepped back until she felt the wall behind her and groped for the light switch. "You should go to sleep now.", she said, and then the light went out and all she could hear was Lily turning around, grumbling softly.

Mary slipped silently out of the room and went downstairs to the living room because there was no way she could bear to sleep near Lily tonight. Suddenly feeling terribly exhausted, she grabbed a blanket she was pretty sure Mrs. Evans had knitted herself and flopped onto the couch. She wondered if Lily would remember anything in the morning, the things she had said and done because there was no way Mary would be able to forget it.

Lily was right, they weren't in love. It was just Mary who had been carrying those feelings around for four years and had been foolish enough to think it wouldn't eventually cause her harm. Because no matter how many times Lily held hands with her or how many times they kissed each other on the cheek, it would never mean the same thing to Lily and it would be foolish to convince herself otherwise. Mary took a deep breath, buried her face in the soft cushion of the couch, and wondered if she could go back to when things had been, not necessarily easier, but less painful, looking at Lily, knowing she'd never have her, but knowing she would always be by her side.

Part 3: Evan & Barty

Evan stormed off, just wanting to get somewhere as fast as possible, away from that house and he simply didn't care where his feet took him. "Evan! Evan, wait!" Barty's voice caught up with him until he came up beside him and then easily kept pace with him. "You do realize you're going in the wrong direction, don't you?", he asked, a tiny smirk in his voice and Evan stopped abruptly, staring at him. "Is that all you have to say?! You don't want to explain why you crashed the party? You knew you weren't invited and what would happen if you showed up anyway and you...argh, you just said f*ck the consequences, again!", he yelled, wanting to tear his hair out because Barty was driving him insane, breaking his mind apart, piece by piece.

"Woah, relax. Nothing happened, and besides..." "Nothing happened?!", Evan interrupted Barty briskly, and Barty actually winced a bit, his smug grin wavering. "A fight broke out! Because once again you couldn't stop until you tasted blood, because you never know when it's enough!", Evan snapped angrily and walked, or rather, ran on. "So what? I don't see the problem. Those idiots deserve it and you know what I'm like!", Barty replied and ran after him, trying to grab him, but Evan knew all his anger would fizzle out if Barty got his hands on him.

"Yeah, I know what you're like. It's all or nothing, but it always gets you in trouble and I...I'm tired of worrying about you all the time.", Evan explained, the rest of the sentence crawling up his throat, leaving it all burned up because everything to do with Barty left its mark in one way or another and it hurt. "Then stop worrying, nothing will happen to me, Evan. I promised you that you wouldn't get rid of me that easily." Barty's fingers tightened around Evan's wrist like a vice and he nearly tripped as he was jerked back and crashed into Barty's chest.

"You're reckless and think you're invulnerable and I...I can only watch you dance along the edge every time. I can only hope that you don't eventually fall and then..." Evan swallowed, trying hard to get out of Barty's grip and not get lost in his eyes, but it was absolutely and utterly hopeless. Barty would always have that power over him to just leave him defenceless with nothing more than a look or a touch because Barty was just someone he would do anything for and Evan was well aware of the danger that came with that, but he couldn't do anything do about it.

Barty would only have to ask him and he would obey without hesitation as long as it made Barty happy or maybe made him laugh. "Evan, you won't lose me. I swear it.", Barty said, pulling Evan closer to him, unaware of the agony he was putting his best friend in, because although he hadn't been invited, Barty had dressed up nicely for the party. He was wearing a black shirt that was only half buttoned and a lot of silver necklaces that would have looked ridiculously cluttered on any other person but not on him and his dark hair was messed up with a bit of hairspray to make it look effortless, like a perfect bed head.

He looked hot, to put it simply, and if Evan hadn't been so upset and desperate at that moment he probably would have started drooling. "Don't promise me anything you can't keep, Barty." Evan tried to pull away from Barty once again and this time he let him. "I'm not trying to change you or make you into someone you're not, but...I really wish you'd take care of yourself a little better. You're not immortal, you know?", he sighed, gripping his own wrist where Barty's fingers had just been digging into his skin.

"Holy sh*t Evan, I'm not going to die on you all of a sudden.", Barty said, his voice terribly gentle, way too soft for it to just sneak its way right into Evan's heart and take root there. It was embarrassing how easily he succumbed to his charms every time, downright pathetic how quickly he turned to putty in Barty's hands, but Evan had accepted long ago that it always would be like that. Barty would go and he would follow him wherever he went. "Well, you're certainly not putting a lot of effort into staying alive.", Evan snorted, trying to sound reproachful, but it came out sniffy and Barty chuckled softly.

"I'll grow old and grey with you, don't worry. So calm down and don't keep running from me, okay?" Barty swung an arm around Evan's shoulders and he slumped against him, because what was he supposed to do? "Come on, let's go home. I think I've got some cold pizza and some beer left.", he said and together they trotted down the street until they found a bus stop. Barty still had an arm around Evan and it didn't look like he was going to let go anytime soon, and Evan openly allowed himself to stare at him for a little bit, scrutinizing and marvelling at every detail.

The curve of his nose, the sharp edge of his jawbone, his square yet pointed chin and his ears, which reminded him a little bit of elf ears. I wanna keep you safe forever, Evan thought and leaned very slightly against Barty's side. Keep you safe forever, take you somewhere where it's only us, where no one could ever hurt you. They waited in comfortable silence until a bus finally came, and Evan knew he was probably going to be in terrible trouble, but still, he was determined to spend the night in Barty's small flat on the old, creaky, hard couch. Surrounded by empty cans and greasy pizza boxes.

"You know, I didn't actually show up at the party because I wanted to piss off Zabini and the others.", Barty admitted as the bus rocked and jerked along the street and Evan looked up, frowning. "What?" "I came because I wanted to see you. You and Dora and Reg and Dorcas. I miss you.", Barty answered and suddenly sounded very small. Evan pressed his lips together and sighed softly. "We miss you too, you idiot." And they didn't say another word to each other until they got off the bus because that's how it had always been.

They could spend hours and hours together in the same room and didn't have to talk to each other because they understood each other anyway, always knew what the other was thinking and Evan considered the relationship between him and Barty to be the most valuable thing he owned. "I didn't clean up, hope you don't mind.", Barty said as he pushed open the door with a jerk since it always got a bit stuck and kicked his sturdy boots off his feet. "You've never cleaned up here, not since the day you moved in.", Evan laughed and did the same before they walked into the living room, flopping down on the couch at the same time, which groaned under their weight.

Blue moonlight streamed through the windows, which Barty had intended to buy curtains for, but ended up being too lazy to do. The TV still stood ominously in the corner, the dark screen seeming to swallow everything that came near it like a black hole, but Evan ignored it. Instead, despite the noticeable springs, he tried to make himself somehow comfortable while Barty lay beside him, warm and breathing, almost bubbling over with energy, his necklaces clinking softly together. "Don't worry, these aren't stolen.", Barty said, smiling, noticing Evan's look.

"Well, not all of them.", he added and Evan rolled his eyes. He rolled onto his back, looked at the ceiling that had stains of unknown origin and then he suddenly felt something cold on his collarbone. Evan glanced to his side to see Barty removing one of his necklaces and now holding it against his neck, then nodded and expertly announced: "Yep, this one suits you best." Said chain found its way into Evan's hands and he gaped at it, speechless. The silver chain itself looked like barbed wire and the pendant looked like a small knife, a dagger.

The coat of arms of Barty's family, because of course an old established British family that used to belong to the old nobility had a coat of arms. Evan's family symbol was a primrose, something Barty had joked about extensively when they had first met. "Thanks.", Evan said, hugging the necklace to his chest and although Barty made a dismissive gesture, he knew it meant just as much to him. After all, it had been his idea to give the necklace to Evan. And then they sank into silence once more that night until they finally fell asleep side by side, the cold silver still pressed against Evan's chest where his heart was beating.

~***~

The shrill ringing of the bell announcing the end of lunch made Sirius wince and he looked down at his plate, which he had barely touched, thinking about James and that he should definitely check on him after the next lesson. Something was very wrong with him, but he seemed determined to pretend the opposite was the case, and that worried Sirius all the more because that was usually his standard tactic and the possibility that James might be suffering, in silence and alone, scared him.

Lily silently pushed back her chair, put away her tray and then shambled away and Peter had to kick Marlen gently in the shin under the table to make her stop staring at Dorcas because next, they had biology and Sprout, while a hearty woman, was also feisty and expected concentration and discipline. Something none of them would probably be able to muster up for the next 45 minutes, but at least they had to pretend, so Marlene tore herself away from the sight of Dorcas with a freaking sigh, Sirius grabbed his backpack and the three of them followed Lily.

Trotting through the halls, looking like a mere shadow of herself and, by God, Sirius couldn't wait for the day to finally come to an end.

Chapter 13

Chapter Text

Coming out of the other side of a panic attack was like waking up after a major operation. You were still alive but you still felt miserable and even the nap couldn't really do much to change the fact that James' life was a mess right now. "Go home, Mr. Potter.", Madam Pomfrey said as she watched him struggle to his feet, a friendly smile on her lips and he just nodded, because arguing with Madam Pomfrey would have been about as successful as trying to explain to Sirius that Frankenstein's monster wasn't called Frankenstein. It was the scientist's name.

That didn't stop Regulus from trying again every time it came up, though. Regulus, who was still sitting at James' side and had apparently willingly skipped lunch and his classes to make sure he was okay and it made James' heart grow heavy with tenderness, sinking into his stomach and where it sent a warm tingle running through his entire body. He had stayed, because of him. "Here." Regulus handed James his backpack and he took it with a shaky smile that Regulus bravely tried to return.

With Madam Pomfrey's orders to take it easy for the rest of the day, they left the infirmary and walked down the hallway, which was unusually quiet and seemed almost deserted without the bustle of the students. "Are you feeling a little better?", Regulus asked, wincing slightly as if hating himself for breaking the silence. James looked at him. Regulus' eyes were on the floor, his fingers tightened around the strap of his backpack as if his life depended on it and he started debating whether to tell him the truth or lie to him.

But if James was being honest with himself, then he had already told enough lies in the last few weeks and with Regulus, in particular, he was already entangled in such a deep web of half-truths and dishonesty and secrets that he really didn't want to make it any worse. Regulus had been lied to enough times in his life and he deserved people to be honest and open with him. "A little bit.", James said then, because Regulus' presence had definitely helped a lot, but unfortunately even holding hands with him couldn't just make all his problems go away.

Though there was nothing James wished more than to just stare into his eyes because there was quite simply nothing else to worry about. Falling into Regulus, willingly losing himself in him until his heartbeat became one with James', they shared the same breath and he could fully and wholly claim they were each other's now. "Okay...do you want to talk about it?", Regulus asked as they walked past the lockers and headed for the exit. "Talk about what?", James wanted to know and he didn't ask because he wanted to pretend everything was fine, like there wasn't anything on his mind, no.

He asked because he'd never had anyone direct that question at him before. Because everyone always assumed that he was okay, that he was alright and that if something seemed to dim his light, it was just fleeting wisps of clouds that would quickly pass and then stop the sun from being darkened any further. No one had ever considered it necessary, or maybe it wasn't even that, because James would never accuse Sirius or Peter of not caring or not knowing him well enough not to know the truth, much more so that he himself tried too hard to always be happy.

So much so that James himself sometimes forgot when he was feeling down and literally denied himself the right to be sad because...there was always someone worse off, wasn't there? Surely his problems weren't that bad and he'd never really experienced what real sorrow meant, so he shouldn't be making such a fuss about it just because he felt like he couldn't smile for a day, right? That had always struck him as ridiculous, but Regulus was different. He wasn't like that, like James and he knew what it did to you when you were silent and trying to swallow the pain even though it was tearing you open from the inside, making you bleed.

Regulus could see every little crack, through which the ugly insides were seeping out, all the nasty stuff you always tried to hide. What James was trying to hide and that was now behind the facade waiting to be allowed to finally break out because he had suppressed it for too long, believing he could handle it on his own. "James, you were having a panic attack in the loo. That means something is wrong and if you don't want to talk to me about it that's fine, but you should definitely talk to someone about it.", Regulus said urgently, but not brash and James could hear how hard he was trying to sound gentle.

"I just...it's all just a bit stressful right now.", James tried to calmly express because if you looked at it closely then...it wasn't that bad, was it? "I know what stress can do, but there are small but subtle differences. And...whatever you're going through seems to be really taking its toll on you and I...I worry about you." Regulus stopped abruptly and James nearly ran face-first into the glass door. He turned around, apparently looking surprised and also a bit confused because Regulus promptly blushed and hastened to continue.

"And Sirius and your other friends are probably worried about you too and...you're not really yourself these days. Which isn't to say you should just push it all back and put a show on because that's not going to make it any better. You have to talk about it or it will eat you up. It will make you sick.", he explained hastily and James had trouble following his words. "I-I...I'm...I can't..." "You really shouldn't be alone right now, James." Regulus went down the last few steps of the short flight of stairs and stood directly in front of him.

"I...I'd like to come with you to...well, you know, take care of you.", he said tightly, like it was taking a lot for him to get the words out and just Regulus jumping over his shadow because he wanted him to be okay made James shake violently and the idea of being home alone with Reg, just the two of them and maybe two cups of tea, well that just sounded lovely. But he couldn't, for he had been neglecting his duties for far too long and whether the city wanted his help or not, London needed him.

"Reg, that...that's really kind of you, but I don't want you to miss any more classes and get in trouble because of me.", James explained then and it wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth and he felt queasy because he couldn't be completely honest with him, again. Regulus' shoulders sagged a tiny bit and James suddenly felt like he had let him down and he wanted to cry. Why did all the decisions he made lately always seem to be wrong? No matter who he tried to please, someone always got hurt.

Still, dragging Regulus into this would be incredibly selfish of him, so James put his trembling hand on Regulus' shoulder and took a deep breath. "Believe me, I'll be fine.", he said, and well, it sounded awful, more like an apology, and James could see that Regulus didn't believe him. "Fine, but...please take care of yourself, okay?" Regulus' gaze darted to James' hand and James smiled, a genuine smile because for Regulus' sake he would always be able to smile. He deserved every smile James had, all that had been and all that was yet to come, deserved every spark of joy and not a drop of bitterness.

"I'll take extra good care of myself. For you.", James promised, squeezing Regulus' shoulder lightly and then letting go of him, immediately missing the vibrant warmth beneath his fingers. He turned and left the school, resisting the urge to turn although it was tempting, like Orpheus longing for Eurydice. But he didn't, for James knew that if he looked over his shoulder, Regulus would still be there, eyeing him worriedly, and he would immediately go back, take his hand and beg him to stay with him, to not leave him alone with all the voices inside his head.

Instead, however, he ran down the street, squeezed between the narrow ravine between two houses, changed his clothes and continued on his way in the air, swinging from streetlight to streetlight. It was the first time he had been out as Spider-Man since the heavy negative press, and he almost expected people to light torches and whip out pitchforks at the sight of him, but they didn't. In fact, as always, people called his name, pulled out their phones as he swung by and a few yelled at him to get the hell out of London.

But that had already been the case before The Sun's article and James wondered if he might have overreacted. Being out in the public eye meant he had to deal with these kinds of things and couldn't duck away like a whining coward just because a few people didn't like him. He had to be above these things because no matter how much they might think they hate him, they would be thankful for him in a pinch when he showed up out of nowhere to save them. After all, it was no different for celebrities and they kept going, no matter how often the tabloids did them dirty.

James had chosen this life for himself and running away from it now was not an option. He had to face it and stay strong. As a hero, he couldn't afford such weakness, not when lives were at stake. And James kept telling himself that, so many times, repeating it over and over like a mantra until he began to believe it. He might not have been the kind of hero the people of London wanted, but he was what they needed and in the end, it didn't matter what any newspaper thought of him. In the end, the people who were able to live their lives safely because of him were the ones that counted.

The people who truly meant something to him were the ones that counted.

Sirius or Regulus would certainly have told him by now that this tactic of denial was not an ideal solution, certainly not in the long term, but they weren't here to explain to James that it was okay to break down, that it was okay, when you thought the world was about to fall on you. So James kept trying to convince himself that things weren't as horrific as he'd thought, and amidst all the inner soliloquy, he nearly missed the siren-like alarm of a jewellery shop on Ebury Bridge Road.

But his spider-sense, which rang loudly like an alarm clock trying to keep him from oversleeping, was dependable and James stopped on the top of a crane arm that jutted out over the rooftops of the buildings. 'Velmar Pearls' was just a small shop and James knew that 'Cartier' and 'Tiffany & Co' were not far away, so he guessed that whoever was in the middle of a robbery wasn't a professional or at least someone who hadn't been doing this criminal business for a very long time. His reasoning was promptly confirmed when a boy his age ran out into the street looking for a suitable escape route and...

James almost slipped off the crane when he realized the petty criminal with his arms packed with expensive rings and necklaces was Barty. "Oh come on. For real?", he sighed, swung down and landed right in front of Barty, who let out a startled yelp, staggered three steps backwards and then noticeably tried to regain his coolness. "Eyyy Spidey, didn't know you were around." He grinned widely and James rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm always around when people like you pull a stunt and now get back in there, be a good boy and give the jewellery back."

Barty ogled him as if he'd suddenly sprouted a second head then looked at the loot he had clutched protectively to his chest and then over his shoulder to the shop. "Yeah nope, that's not gonna happen.", he then said flatly and shrugged his shoulders. James stifled a deep sigh. "Mate, they've probably already called the police and I can promise you that they won't be as nice as me.", he drawled and now it was Barty who rolled his eyes. "Screw the cops and...sorry, but I'm not afraid of a guy in a romper suit.", he scoffed and James' patience, which was already running low, was strained even more.

"Listen, I don't really care what you think of me, but I've had a sh*t day and I don't want to hurt you. So don't be dumb and return the stuff.", he urged, but Barty just gave a sneer. "Wow, you're really a laughing stock, mate.", he chuckled and James wanted to tear his hair out. How on earth could people like Regulus and Evan be friends with someone like him? He was so obnoxious and... Suddenly something clicked in James' head and he quickly decided to switch gears.

"You know, I can imagine there are people who would be disappointed to find out the police arrested you. People who are worried about you because they know how reckless you are. I guarantee you that someone is sitting somewhere right now, waiting for you and worrying about you.", James said and could literally see Barty's facial expression change in slow motion. And James knew he had pressed the right button. "f*cking hell, you really just rained on my parade, didn't you?", Barty huffed, turned around and shuffled back into the shop where he slapped everything he had grabbed on the counter.

With a dark scowl etched deep into his features, he trotted back out, gave James an indefinable look, and then bolted. James stayed, asked the shop owner to put things right with the police so Barty would not be prosecuted and luckily for him the elderly lady agreed. He thanked her and then continued his patrol, his mind still struggling to decide which thought would be allowed to torment James next. The terrorist crime organization that would first bring London and then the world to its knees? The fact that he was being blackmailed by one of his classmates?

That half the town hated him and wanted him dead? Or Regulus, who he could be with now if his whole life weren't one single web in which he had caught himself. And like a real spider's web, it only got worse the more you struggled, kind of ironic, isn't it? James longed for a switch that he could just flip over in order to be able to breathe for at least a moment, but that switch didn't exist and...after all, he himself was responsible for the fact that he was now in this situation, right? No matter what his mother or Regulus or anyone else said, no one would ever be able to understand what it really meant to be him and that...well, that felt really bloody lonely.

~***~

When Barty returned to his flat, Evan was already there, sitting with his arms crossed over his chest on the fold-out couch they had slept on two days ago. And he looked pissed. "Did you break in or what?", Barty teased, eyebrows waggling as he kicked off his shoes, but Evan didn't smile. His eyebrows were drawn together, his forehead wrinkled slightly, and his jaw set. "Apparently you forgot you gave me a key. You know, for emergencies.", Evan replied harshly, spitting out the last word in particular, right at Barty's feet.

"Okaaaay, I kind of get the feeling you're mad at me, but I'm not exactly sure what I did wrong.", Barty said cautiously and Evan stood up with a jerk. "So you don't know, huh? Okay then, let me enlighten you. You haven't called since Sunday morning, I'm starting to get worried and then I see this." He held out his phone accusingly at Barty and...f*ck, there he was talking to Spider-Man outside the jewellery store. "Everything gets filmed and posted online these days, Barty. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?", Evan asked and Barty bit his lower lip like a kid caught doing something forbidden.

"Well, in my defence, you can't really call it a robbery because technically I didn't steal anything. I gave it all back.", he explained sheepishly and Evan stared at him in disbelief, then slowly shook his head and Barty felt how something hot formed a hard, heavy ball in the pit of his stomach. "That's not the point and you know that. You...you promised me you'd be more careful and I thought that meant you would take it a bit easier and...I dunno, I thought you understood that I'm afraid something could happen to you...", Evan mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Okay but I'm fine and nothing..." "Stop saying the same sh*tty sentence over and over again!", Evan snapped and Barty winced because this time something felt different compared to when Evan got loud after the party. He seemed less worried this time...more disappointed and angry, and suddenly Barty realized he didn't want Evan to look at him that way. It felt wrong. "I thought you understood what I've tried to explain to you so many times, but apparently you don't! Apparently, you don't give a sh*t about what I say or think!", Evan yelled, throwing his phone away in the process.

It bounced off the couch and then clattered to the floor, but he didn't bother to bend down for it, his eyes fixed on Barty, two green infernos and his gaze almost too intense. But Barty had never been the type to run from an argument or duck his head, even when it might have been better to back down, so instead of shutting up and admitting that Evan was right, he decided to talk back. "Of course, it's important to me what you say and think, but you can't control my life, Evan! Because it's my life, I make the decisions and if I fall on my face, that's the way it is! But you don't have the right to decide anything for me!"

Evan blinked, looking surprised and maybe a little hurt for a split second, but then anger took over again. "I don't want to control you, I just want to take care of you because it feels like you're not able to do that yourself!", he replied loudly and Barty laughed dryly. "Yes, because in the end, you're just like everyone else, aren't you? You don't trust me either, because you think I'm a loser." Evan swallowed and Barty knew he'd gone too far, that he'd said something he couldn't take back now, but he couldn't stop. Not after he tasted blood, not even when it came to Evan.

"I never said that and you know that's not true, Barty.", Evan said, much calmer now, but Barty was just picking up steam. "Really? Then stop acting like you're smarter or better than me. You're not my father.", he barked and Evan swallowed, paled and took a step back. "No, I'm your best friend and I worry about you.", he replied, so quietly now that Barty should have realized that enough was enough, but he didn't. "Why? Why do you care so damn much, huh?!", he yelled, arms outstretched, waiting for an answer and there was silence for a second, but then Evan's shoulders started to tremble.

"Because I love you!", Evan blurted out, the sentence erupting out of him like a dam had burst, a tide that had been held back for far too long and was now unstoppable. The words hung in the air between them before their weight was felt, it settled and Evan realized what he had just done. He'd broken his own rule because it had been the only answer still left to give, the only truth he'd always kept from Barty, and now he was staring at Evan, his mouth slightly open. Fear of what he might say once the silence ended crawled up Evan's spine, lodged in his mind and kicked off his instinct to flee.

He didn't want to be there when Barty ended their friendship or made it absolutely clear that he would never be able to feel that way about him. So, with shaking hands, he picked up his phone off the floor, pushed past Barty, and stumbled out the door. Without even looking back, he ran down the stairs, stormed out of the building, panting, and then down the street, trying to put as much distance between himself and Barty as he could. Evan didn't even know exactly where he was running to, he just wanted to get away.

He wanted to keep running and never stop because there was nothing he could have come back to anyway. He had just ruined his friendship with Barty, the thing that had been most important to him in life, and now he was about to lose the one person he would have risked everything for without hesitation. He couldn't even imagine his world without Barty in it, because everything had always revolved around him, he had been the centre of Evan's little universe, his gravity, which always led him back to where he belonged and now...

Now Evan had the feeling of drifting aimlessly through the void, trapped in the endless darkness where he would eventually lose all meaning, doomed to be lonely forever. Evan's lungs burned in his chest and every breath ached, and eventually his feet grew heavy and his steps slowed and he stopped. Huffing, he braced himself on his thighs and screwed his eyes shut while everything seemed to spin around him. For a moment he even thought he was going to throw up, but then the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach gave way to a painful pulling, pulsing directly behind his ribs.

Like a thorn that he couldn't pull out and the wound would never be able to heal.

"sh*t..." Wheezing, Evan sat up and ran both hands through his hair. That was guaranteed to be by far the sh*ttiest declaration of love in human history, and the feelings weren't even mutual. "Pathetic, f*cking pathetic..." Evan squatted down and tucked his head between his knees, certain that some passers-by would stare at him, but he didn't care at the moment. He faced a mountain of problems and had no idea how to solve even one of them. Jesus, he couldn't even concentrate.

His head was a mess, and he was sitting in the middle of a street, alone and out of breath because he'd just run away from his best friend, who he'd yelled in his face, that he was in love with him. "I'm such an idiot...", Evan sighed, pressing his fist against his forehead, which was still clutching his phone. And then he grabbed the only lifeline that was available to him right now. He sent Dorcas a quick text asking if she was home and if he could come over and she answered right away. So Evan got on the next bus, sat in the back corner and hoped he could make it to her without losing his nerve again.

Luckily that wasn't the case, but now the adrenaline was slowly ebbing away and gave way to something even more gruesome. A feeling that settled over him like a heavy blanket of lead, the sober yet no less awful realization that he was about to lose Barty, one way or another. He would never see him laugh again, all teeth and sharp tongue, would never again be able to watch him hatch some stupid, dangerous plan, a devilish twinkle in his pretty eyes, would never again be able to lie with him on that awful couch and listen to his heartbeat.

All of that was gone now and it was his own fault. Evan swallowed hard, felt his throat tighten and his eyes begin to sting, but he'd vowed long ago never to cry in public, so he pulled himself together until he got off the bus, the last yards from the stop to Dorcas' house and then she was standing across from him, sporting that look on her face that said she knew full well something was wrong. And the last thread holding it all together snapped and Evan literally collapsed on her doormat and started sobbing and crying and Dorcas got on her knees and put her arms around him and held him tight.

He didn't even really notice how Pandora, who had apparently just been visiting Dorcas, joined them and wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed her cheek against his back. "Come on, let's get you inside first.", Dorcas said after a while and Evan had absolutely no idea how long the three of them had been crouched on the doormat. Dorcas and Pandora led him into the hallway and up to Dorcas' room where he flopped down on her carpet and Pandora immediately handed him a pillow, saying he was welcome to scream into it if that would help in any way.

Dorcas brought him a glass of water and then they just waited in silence, waiting for him to be ready to tell what had happened. They didn't push him or try to cheer him up with any empty phrases, because that had never been their way. Evan drank some of the water Dorcas had brought him, choked briefly and then took a few deep breaths. "I...I told Barty I loved him and then I ran away.", he said, not meeting either Dorcas' or Pandora's eyes. Instead, he stared at the glass in his hands, the water sloshing around ominously and he waited for a big bang, which didn't come.

Instead, Pandora tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, nodded and then replied: "And what did he say?" Evan frowned, blinked a few times in confusion, and shook his head. "N-Nothing, I ran away before he could say anything, but..." "Evan, if you think it would be a big surprise for us that you're fancying Barty, then we have to disappoint you.", Dorcas interrupted him gently and smiled slightly. "I mean, I know you were trying to hide it, but it was pretty obvious. Dora and I had been suspecting that there was more for a while now, but we wanted to wait until you told us yourself."

"You...you knew? Regulus too?", Evan asked puzzled and Pandora gave an amused snort. "Reg is just as oblivious as Barty.", she replied with a dismissive gesture and Evan sniffled softly. "So that means that you..." "It doesn't change the fact that you're our friend Evan. We can't control who we fall in love with. We are who we are and we love you just the way you are.", Pandora explained and she said it with such a matter of course that it brought tears to Evan's eyes again. "I...I wish Barty would see it that way too...", he sobbed incomprehensibly and buried his face in the crook of his arm.

"You idiot, you said you ran away before he could say anything so you don't know what's on his mind." Dorcas scooted over to him and nudged his shoulder so he looked at her. "And besides...you don't want him to just accept it, do you? You want him. Soul and all." "Since when did you become a poet?", Evan asked, sniffing and Dorcas rolled his eyes and flicked his forehead. "Shut up, you know I'm right. And if you don't talk to Barty then you don't know where you stand."

"Exactly, you have to talk about it and not just stare at each other and hope that it magically clears everything up.", Pandora added, looking intently at Dorcas. Evan frowned. "I feel like I missed something." "Nope, Dora is just talking nonsense again.", Dorcas interjected and Pandora's mouth twitched. "She doesn't want to admit that she's falling for Marlene." "McKinnon?", Evan asked and Pandora nodded whereupon Dorcas groaned loudly. "This isn't about me. It's about Evan and his stupid feelings for Barty."

"Oi, my feelings aren't stupid.", Evan protested defiantly and suddenly a pillow landed right in his face and a split second later Dorcas suffered the same fate. "Let's face it, you're both incredibly bad at communicating your feelings because you're scared of what might happen if you're being honest, but the truth is that you'll never know if things might not turn out okay after all if you don't take a leap of faith.", Pandora explained expertly. "Dorcas, you have to admit to yourself how you feel about Marlene and when you finally stop fooling yourself, then you can take the next step, because in case you haven't noticed, she is completely infatuated with you."

Dorcas opened her mouth to protest, but Pandora imperiously raised her index finger, effectively silencing her. "As for you Evan, you need to talk to Barty. You caught him off guard and he certainly wasn't expecting a confession like this, so don't assume the worst right away, okay? Talk to him and I'm sure you will find a solution. After all, you are best friends and that will never change, no matter what happens in the future." Then there was silence and the words slowly seeped into Evan's brain.

Somehow he had forgotten that it was always Dora who had the best advice and as scary as the idea of confronting Barty might be, it was the only way. After all, he couldn't avoid him forever and he didn't want to. He loved Barty and would have loved to have him near him every second of every day, always with him because he was his favourite person in the whole damn cosmos. And being separated from him, tormented by not knowing what Barty was thinking, was worse than anything else.

~***~

It was already dark when James finished his patrol and returned home. In fact, there hadn't been much going on, just some minor things and his silver-masked friends hadn't shown up either, which worried James more than the other way around. He had no idea where they were hiding right now or what exactly the next step in their plan would be and that didn't let him rest. It made James feel like he was failing already because eventually he would be too late to prevent the misery and he would fail, people would die because of him and if that happened did he even have the right to call himself a hero?

Climbing up the wall of the house, James pushed open the window to his room from the outside and slipped in, stretching and sighing softly before ripping off his mask and tossing his backpack in the corner. Maybe they held back on purpose, to irritate him and slowly drive him crazy, maybe it was a perfidious game. At least he would not put it past someone like Bellatrix. She would certainly enjoy toying with him, forcing him to ultimately play by her rules, and James hoped he wouldn't eventually lose himself in all of this.

James turned to open his closet...and froze. There, on the far edge of his bed, caressed by the pale moonlight, half hidden in the shadows cast by the walls, sat Regulus, stiff as a board, staring at him with wide eyes. He just stared at him, lips slightly parted as if he had wanted to say something, but the words had gotten stuck in his throat. And James stared back, his ears hearing only the rushing of his own blood and the pounding of his heart, so incredibly loud and in his mind, there was just one word adequate enough to fully capture the complex emotions that were churning inside of him right now.

f*ck.

Chapter 14

Chapter Text

"What...what are you doing here?", James asked, his voice echoing unnaturally loud through the awfully quiet room. Regulus was still staring at him, unable to take his eyes off him, his face a mirror of too many emotions for James to name them all. Surprise, disbelief, anger, relief... They all struggled to break the surface and Regulus swallowed. "I've been waiting for you. I came here after school because I was worried about you, but you weren't there. Effie said I could wait until you came home.", he replied, his voice oddly blank and James nodded slowly.

He felt like the punchline of a bad joke that nobody laughed at when told and he wished he could turn back time just a few minutes to yell at his own past self not to repeat the same stupid mistake that he had made. Surely he would break the first and most important law of time travel and thereby trigger a paradox that would end in a black hole and then swallow up the whole world, but even that would be better than having to face Regulus now. "I um...I guess I owe you an explanation."; he finally said sheepishly, still clutching his mask and Regulus got up from the edge of the bed.

"Oh yes, you do."; he replied, and although he sounded composed, James saw his frame tremble, about to explode, and he didn't know if it was better to try to prevent the outburst or let it happen. James ran a hand through his hair and leaned against his desk, not to look cool, but because he felt like his legs were going to fail him at any moment. Then he took a deep breath. "Well um...I um...it actually all started with a spider bite, you know?" And he told Regulus everything.

How he'd developed strange powers after the bite, how he'd decided to use those same powers to protect the weak and helpless, how at three o'clock in the morning he'd sat on the floor of his room sewing his costume and pricked his fingers countless times. How he hid broken ribs, bruises and bloody cuts from his parents and friends for many, many weeks, how he patrolled the streets of London late into the night to make sure he didn't let anyone down. He didn't leave anything out and even if James had wanted to hold back something, he couldn't have at that moment.

He had kept all this to himself for far too long and now Regulus was standing in front of him and listening, not once interrupting him and James couldn't stop, it just gushed out of him until he couldn't breathe anymore. It wasn't until he felt like throwing up that he pressed his lips together and forced himself to pause. He had no idea how long he had been rambling on without a period or comma and now more than ever his legs felt as if they were about to buckle and give out.

Regulus was still staring at him, his eyes deep and unfathomable like a starry sky on a clear night, and James was about to get on his knees begging him to say something when he took a step towards him. "So...Spider-Man huh? Not particularly original.", he said, and the slight mockery in his tone made James laugh, though it sounded more like a sob. "Well, unfortunately, I've never been particularly creative.", he admitted, finally sinking onto the floor of his room, his heart pounding so hard he could feel the throbbing in his throat.

"Why didn't you ever tell anyone?", Regulus wanted to know and James shrugged helplessly. "I couldn't. It would only have put you, Sirius, and everyone else in danger. I didn't want to risk making you a target for the bad guys, so I kept it to myself. But trust me, Reg...I wanted to tell you so many times.", he answered and looked up. "I hate lying to you guys. You're my friends and family and you deserve the truth, but...I couldn't live with it if anything happened to either of you because of me." "So you'd rather put up with lugging this secret around on your own?", Regulus asked and James tilted his head back.

"It was safer that way for everyone I love." "And what about you?" Regulus was now standing directly in front of James and slowly crouched down so they were at eye level. "If you protect everyone else, who protects you?" "I dunno...I guess it never mattered to me.", James mumbled before receiving a resounding slap in the face. "Ouch!" He cupped a hand to his burning cheek and stared at Regulus in shock. "What was that for?" "That was for being so reckless with your own life and for all the lies you've told us.", Regulus clarified and then gently reached out for James' hand, lovingly caressing his fingers.

"The night you came downstairs to the kitchen and your face looked like you got into a fight...that was the night the break-in at LCR happened right?" James nodded, still feeling a bit dazed from the whole situation and the fact that Regulus had just f*cking slapped him. "Yes." "And all those bruises and your weird behaviour, every time you've disappeared or showed up late..." "Yes, every single time.", James said, staring at his hand entwined with Regulus', who was still caressing his fingers, calloused and rough in places that wouldn't be visible in the morning.

"I'm proud of you, James.", Regulus finally said after they'd been silent for a little while, just sitting together in the dark and James raised his eyebrows hopefully. "So that means you're not mad at me?" "Oh no, I am mad as hell, you lied to me and all the others. You could have died and none of us would ever know why, but...you did all this to protect us. To protect the people who live in this city and I probably would have done the same thing if I were you.", Regulus murmured and James allowed himself a small smile.

"Nah, if you were in my place there wouldn't have been any need to lie. You're a lot smarter than me, Reg." "Maybe, but that doesn't really matter in the end, does it? It's about courage and bravery and being selfless. You have all those things James and all of that makes you a great hero.", Regulus replied, looking at James and James felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. The look from Regulus' eyes was so soft and vulnerable, so utterly honest, that it felt like a punch to the gut. And James dropped to his knees and looked up, begging for more. "Reggie, I..."

"No, don't do that. Don't try to dim your own light, James.", Regulus interrupted gently, squeezing his hand lightly. "None of us really deserve you, but that never mattered to you because you are better than us and those out there. Because you have a good heart and...and because you...you are the sun." The words stumbled awkwardly out of Regulus and he blushed, avoiding looking at James and instead fixing his gaze onto their hands and probably wishing he could sink to the ground, but all James wanted was to lift him up into the sky.

"The sun?", he repeated, a grin taking over his face that threatened to split it in two. "I-I didn't mean it like that...I just couldn't think of a better analogy...", Regulus tried to explain, but it was too late. James put both hands on Regulus' cheeks, making him look at him. "I want to be your sun, Reg. The centre of your universe, your anchor, your gravity that keeps everything balanced, if you will only let me." Regulus' eyes widened, wider than James had ever seen them, not even that morning when he realized that he would now have a new home here with James and his parents.

His lips parted the tiniest bit, but not a sound passed them, and he blinked, swallowing hard as if he was faced with a challenge he was sure to fail at. And suddenly James realized that Regulus was scared. Scared of not being enough, scared of never being wanted, scared that James would realize how broken he really was. But the thing was, James already knew who Regulus really was, he was all broken shards, sharp and pointed, he was the starry night sky, cold and beautiful but always unreachable. But he was also something James wanted to sink into.

Deep and blissfully quiet, softly caressing him, like a bed of silk into which he would confide secrets and longings, whisper them into the sheets, and then find comfort in them. Regulus was all of that and his concern for James not seeing him as his first choice was utter nonsense as James had already chosen him. That night in the park, hanging upside down from that branch, he had chosen him, and many times before, for Regulus was filling out his head, dominating his every thought and effortlessly occupying his mind without ever encountering any resistance. James had never stood a chance.

He hadn't just fallen for Regulus, he had stumbled and fallen full length, flat on his face because Regulus had tripped him without meaning to. And James wanted him with everything he was and had, he wanted every venomous word and every tender touch, every tear and scar and every kiss he was willing to give him. The kiss... Suddenly James remembered, running his thumb over Regulus' cheekbone. "James, I can't..." "Yes, you can. You already did. You didn't know it at the moment, but I did and...and if you let me, I will choose you every single time and I will always want you, I promise."

James rested his forehead against Regulus', hoping he would believe him. He had just staked everything on one card and risked it all, but if not now, then when? It was better to come clean now and James had lied enough and fooled himself for far too long. "You know, I felt guilty thinking about kissing Spider-Man and fancying you at the same time. I thought it would be ridiculous for me to have a crush on two guys at the same time, both of whom would be forever unreachable and I..."

"Reg, the only thing that would be ridiculous would be if you let me down right now. Because I...I'm not unreachable. I'm right here." James took Regulus' hand and pressed it against his own chest where his heart was beating to a jerky rhythm in excited anticipation. "So please...don't be scared. Because I want you. No matter how messy you think you are, my life is just as messy and I...I don't know how to fix this, but one thing I know for sure is that if I don't kiss you now I'll go crazy so...can I kiss you?", he asked and Regulus let out a soft whimper that got stuck in the back of his throat and then he nodded.

James smiled, a breathy sound ghosting over Regulus' skin and still, he waited, because he wanted to make sure that Regulus really wanted this, that he could make this decision. "Kiss me...please.", Regulus finally whispered, his hands wandering up to James' neck and he did. He kissed him and it was better than the night beneath the branch because this time James really was one hundred percent himself and Regulus saw him, really saw him and this time it was no taste, no maybe and no glimpse of a possible future, it was like opening a new chapter in a book.

James threaded his fingers through Regulus' hair, which was curling particularly strongly at the nape of his neck, gently tilting his head back more as his lips found their way towards Regulus' cheek, to his jaw and then down his neck. Regulus practically clung to James, his fingers digging into the fabric of his suit at the back and the cute little noises he made... James wanted to bottle them and get drunk on them. Regulus pressed against James, nuzzling his hair and James lost himself in him, completely shutting out the world around him until there was nothing but Regulus to hold and touch.

"James..." The way Regulus said his name, half whispering, half pleading, almost drove James insane and he let go of Regulus' neck to go back to his lips. "Sorry, I can't stop." "It's alright, I don't want you to stop.", Regulus murmured, gazing into James' eyes, his irises all blazing diamonds and James' pulse going through the roof. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?", he blurted out and Regulus gave him a short, surprised look before starting to laugh and burying his face in James' chest. "You're so stupid, Potter.", he giggled and James frowned, convinced he'd missed the punch line of some joke he didn't get.

"Uh..." "Yes, of course, I want to be your boyfriend." Regulus glanced up at him and pushed James' unruly hair away from his forehead. "Forever if you want me for that long." "I'll always want you.", James promised immediately and kissed Regulus again, a chuckle bubbling up between their mouths and they stumbled through James' room, drunk with joy, intoxicated with glee and pure bliss. James kissed Regulus' entire face, although he started nagging and tried to push him away but his protest wasn't particularly convincing considering he was also kissing every inch of skin he could reach.

It was messy and not at all elegant but perfect and better than James could ever have imagined in any daydream. They were so engrossed in each other that they didn't even notice the soft knocking or Effie opening the door a tiny crack and peering through. It wasn't until James felt a strange tickle on the back of his neck, the indicator that they were being watched, that he looked up and winced, startled. "Mum!" "I'm sorry darling, I really didn't want to bother you as I was pretty sure that you are...busy. But...well, I wanted to ask if Regulus wanted to stay for dinner.", Effie explained, her eyes fixed politely at the ceiling of James' room, which was a good thing for more than one reason.

On the one hand, she couldn't see how lovely dishevelled Regulus looked, his hair tousled, his cheeks flushed, his lips puffy and kissed raw. Second, it also kept her from discovering that James was still wearing his Spider-Man suit, which luckily was mostly covered by Regulus, who was standing in front of James. "Uh y-yes, I'd like to stay for dinner.", Regulus replied and Effie nodded. "Alright, come downstairs when you're ready.", she said, closing the door again, although James didn't miss the small, knowing smile, and he suspected she'd known all along what was going to happen.

"You um...maybe you should change before we..." Regulus nodded towards the door and then made a vague gesture and James looked down at himself. "Yeah, you're probably right.", he agreed, giving Regulus a quick kiss on the cheek before heading to his closet. Whatever was to come, right now James felt invincible. It was probably dumb and co*cky, but he didn't care because as long as he knew Regulus was there, there was something he could return to at the end of the day, something that grounded him and lifted him up at the same time. James glanced over at Regulus, who, true to decency, had turned away so James could change in peace, and he grinned.

Holy sh*t, he was so madly and hopelessly in love. In love with Regulus Black.

~***~

Sirius had decided not to wait for Regulus because earlier he had texted him a quick message saying he was with James to make sure he was alright and despite James being his best friend Sirius had somehow instinctively known that this was one of the moments when he had to step back. Sure, he didn't like it and he was worried about James and would've liked to be with him now to talk to him about why he'd ended up at the infirmary today, but if James needed him then he would he call for him. Of that Sirius was sure.

So he had slouched on the sofa in the living room with some pizza, zapping through the boring TV program and he would have fallen asleep while the news reported about the latest scandal from the royal family, if there hadn't been a knock on the door at that moment. Perhaps it should have struck Sirius as odd that it was knocking instead of the doorbell being rung, but his mind had already begun to shut down as he shuffled down the hallway to open the door, only to have it start up again like a sports car engine in a matter of seconds.

Cranked up to full power when he recognized the person standing in front of him on the stairwell. It was Remus. Not in his black and red suit, as usual, but in civilian clothes, which consisted of baggy, faded jeans, a brown jumper with dark green stripes, and dirty sneakers. He looked...smaller than usual, almost as if he'd shrunk, warily blinking at Sirius from under his fringed bangs. "Hi...", he mumbled and half-heartedly waved at Sirius, who was standing motionless in the open doorway and could only stare at Remus in perplexity.

"I uh...you didn't expect me to turn up here, did you?" Remus laughed nervously and Sirius shook his head wordlessly. Remus cleared his throat and looked down sheepishly. "I uh...can leave if you don't want me here..." "No! N-No, please...come in, okay? I um I'm glad you're here.", Sirius stammered quickly, stepping aside to make room for Remus. Remus hesitated, even though it had been his idea, but then he scuttled past Sirius into the flat and Sirius closed the door with a trembling hand.

To say the mood between them was awkward would've been an understatement. Sirius had no idea what to say or do or why Remus had turned up here and he didn't know if he should pretend the kiss had never happened or if that's why Remus was here and anyway, he wasn't really in the mood right now to deal with something this emotionally complicated, but Remus was here and Sirius didn't want him to leave. "It's...nice.", Remus said after glancing around sporadically and finally ending up in the living room where the TV was still on.

"Yeah, Reg picked it because he liked the big windows.", Sirius replied, tensing up a good six feet away from Remus, not knowing where to put his hands. "Yes, that...the light is certainly very nice in the evening." Remus gestured awkwardly towards the windows and Sirius pressed his lips together. This was officially and by far the most uncomfortable conversation he had ever had to have. They were silent for far too long and what seemed like an unbearably stretched eternity to Sirius, but then Remus took a deep breath and he started talking. Thank God.

"I have to apologize. I shouldn't have just left last time. Not like that. Not after..." "After we kissed?", Sirius asked and Remus nodded. "Yeah, but please don't think I'm regretting it because I don't, okay? I don't. Kissing you was...I don't know how to describe it, to be honest, but...it was no mistake." Sirius swallowed. "Then why did you say you shouldn't have done it?", he wanted to know, and Remus' shoulders sagged down, making him look like someone who had just lost a fight.

"That's why I'm here. Because I owe you an explanation. Because I hurt you with my behaviour and I didn't want that. I never wanted that...", he answered, sounding almost a bit desperate. "Okay...explained then.", Sirius pleaded, crossing his arms over his chest, not knowing what else to do with himself and because he was afraid he'll fall on his knees in front of Remus if he didn't try to focus on something else.

"I got scared I guess. I suddenly thought, 'f*ck, I really like him, what if I mess it up?' I suddenly realized how damn reckless I was and the sh*t I could get you into if I'm not careful and...and I don't want anything to happen to you, I don't want my work to affect you in any way 'cause I wouldn't forgive myself for that. And besides...let's face it, you're way too good for me." Remus laughed mirthlessly and Sirius made a face. "Don't say that. I'm not...good...or perfect. I'm terrible and I wouldn't care if..." "But I would care!", Remus snapped, suddenly looking genuinely angry.

"I deal with really powerful people and most of them are assholes. And...and I don't want anybody trying to use you against me. Because...because I care about you and I like you and...f*cking hell, if you ever say you're not good again, I promise I'll get really mad, okay?! You don't know what I've done Sirius. I've killed so many people and you...you still look at me like I'm some kind of work of art to be admired." Remus shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, turning away as if he couldn't bear to look at Sirius right now, as if just the sight of him was too much.

"And I don't even like killing. I only do it because I need the money, you know? For my dad. My mum died when I was little and then he got sick too and we somehow had to pay the bills and...and then you came and somehow everything is really f*cked up now and yet I've never been happier because I think about you every day and how it feels to kiss you and I want you and...and I'm just really done with all this sh*t..." Remus slumped onto the edge of the sofa and Sirius felt stunned. There were a thousand things racing through his mind and a thousand things he wanted to say and do, but the end result was always the same.

"I'm sorry about your mum...and that your father is ill.", he said, sitting down next to Remus. "I understand why you're doing this and you should know that I didn't judge you for a second. And do you know why? Because you saved my life. Because you...just burst into life and now it's all turned upside down and I miss you when you're not around and I think of you at night when I'm dreaming and yes, it's probably stupid and dangerous, but that doesn't change the fact that I want you too."

Sirius looked at Remus' back, feeling the words hanging in the air and already wondering if this was going to be the end, if they would admit how they felt about each other, but ultimately realize it never would work and then go their separate ways. But then Remus turned around, his face twisted in pain but he was still smiling, and then he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Sirius' ear. "You know, I'd really like to go on a perfectly normal date with you.", he said softly, almost whispering, and Sirius felt his heart flutter in his chest.

"We will. But first, you should definitely kiss me.", he replied and Remus smiled, warm and beautiful, and they sank into the plush cushions of the sofa, Remus' weight comfortably resting on top of him and Sirius holding onto him. "If I could, I wouldn't do anything else all day long." Remus' fingers ran through Sirius' hair which was spread around his head like spilled ink and he pressed his lips to his forehead before kissing him, long and deep and all-consuming. Remus was lying with his chest on Sirius', heart to heart, two beats becoming one.

Sirius sighed loudly and longingly into Remus' open mouth, utterly certain that God had created him for the sole purpose of driving him insane. "Sirius, maybe we should..." "No, if you say we should take it slow, I'll kill you.", Sirius grunted impatiently, tugging at the hem of Remus' jumper. Remus grinned, dirty and wolfish, and licked his lower lip, slick with Sirius' spit. "Actually, I was going to suggest that maybe we should move this to your bed.", he replied and Sirius gave an awkward whine followed by a frantic nod.

He struggled awkwardly off the sofa, his legs shaky as jelly, but he was gripping Remus' hands tightly and they were as good as in his room when a loud vibration sounded and Remus sighed deeply. "sh*t..." With an almost pained expression on his face, he pulled out his phone, his eyes darting across the screen and for a moment Sirius could see them flashing in horror before a veil settled over them, a perfect poker face. "You have to go, don't you?", Sirius asked and Remus gave him a sad smile. "Yes, but I promise I'll be back.", he answered, pulling Sirius towards him by the waist and kissing him.

"I won't be running from you ever again.", he promised, then playfully bit Sirius' lower lip, drawing a delectable moan from his throat. It was torture to have to let Remus go now, but Sirius didn't really have a choice and this time he wasn't left in despair and insecurity because Remus had promised him something and he believed him, wanted to believe more than anything that this would work out, no matter how or in what way. Feeling a little high, Sirius staggered back into the living room after Remus left, his head full of the smell of his hair, the taste of his tongue and the softness of his jumper.

Sirius didn't even realize that Regulus didn't come home that night and it wasn't until the next morning on his way to school that he realized what that probably meant. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw his little brother and James, smiling shyly to themselves, hand in hand, entering the school and oh, he was definitely going to enjoy that. A lot. Hardly hiding the wide grin on his own face, Sirius caught up to the two of them and threw an arm around James' shoulders, greeting him loudly, causing his best friend to jump and yelp in shock.

"Sirius!" Regulus immediately let go of James' hand, putting a good three feet of distance between them and Sirius almost burst out laughing. "Morning mate, are you feeling better?", he asked and James swallowed, having gone white as a sheet in a split second. He might even be sweating a little from nervousness. "Y-Yes, much better. Thank you.", he squeaked, his voice two octaves higher than usual, and Sirius nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. Would you mind if I had a little private chat with my dearest darling brother?"

"N-No! Of course not. After all, he's your brother and not mine, which would be kind of weird anyway and uh...I mean, not that Regulus is weird, but after all, we're just...just friends and uh...I should shut up now." James pressed his lips together, ducked his head and, staring pointedly at the floor, walked briskly towards their lockers where Peter was already waiting for them. "Wow..." Sirius looked after him, shaking his head before turning to Regulus, who looked terribly uncomfortable and ready to run. "So you were with him yesterday, huh?"

"Uh y-yeah, I was uh worried about him and just wanted to make sure everything was okay.", Regulus tried to explain, who was a lot better at hiding his true feelings, but Sirius was the only person in existence who couldn't be fooled by this tactic. He would always know when Regulus was lying to him. "Really, huh? So...you guys talked and he confided in you and then...you held his hand and kissed it better?", he asked completely nonchalantly and Regulus blushed abruptly. "What?! No, of course not!", he sputtered and Sirius smirked.

"Okay then...I guess all that's left to say for me is that I'm happy for you two.", he said, patting Regulus on the shoulder, who was staring at him as if he'd forgotten how to form grammatically correct sentences. "Y-You...we didn't...he's..." "It's okay, Reggie. I know, I can see it and it's fine. We've talked about it before." Sirius affectionately tousled Regulus' hair and smiled. "He's good for you. And you make him happy." "I..." Regulus swallowed, then co*cked his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows in that way that was so typical for him. "Is it really that obvious?" "Yes, for me at least."

Sirius laughed and sauntered along next to his brother. "But you don't have to worry. There's nothing to hide and if anyone does make a stupid joke...then I know you can handle it without my help." Regulus looked up in surprise and then his eyes softened as they rarely did. "Thanks." Sirius just shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, although they both knew very well that it was, as Sirius would always feel somewhat responsible for Regulus, always believing it was his job to protect him.

For as long as he could remember, he had willingly taken punches and shed blood for Regulus, whether it was their mother's punishments or some stupid guy's fists because they had been running their foul mouths. It had always been Sirius' destiny to be there for Regulus, from an early age when Regulus had been too young and weak to defend himself. But that had changed now. Regulus was perfectly capable of fighting his own battles, he had learned to bleed and endure pain and Sirius would always hate himself a little for that, but he couldn't change what had happened.

And it was okay because they had forgiven each other and they knew each other's scars. And now Regulus had James. James, who was neither broken nor tainted by anything dark and Sirius loved him and he knew he would give Regulus exactly what he needed. He knew he was completely different because where Regulus had sharp and jagged edges, James was all gentle and soft, warm and welcoming, bright as the sun, making all the shadows of the past vanish.

He was exactly what Regulus deserved and Sirius was happy because he could be absolutely sure that James would never hurt him. And when Sirius said goodbye to Regulus because he wanted to go find Evan, Dorcas and Pandora and he joined Peter and the others who were standing by the lockers...James wasn't there.

Chapter 15

Chapter Text

It could have been a good day if James hadn't been stopped by someone on his way to the lockers and dragged into the boys' loo. "Dude, this isn't going to be a regular thing, is it?", James muttered, straightening his messed-up jacket. "Stop cracking silly jokes and listen to me, Potter.", Snape growled, an eternal scowl etched into his long features. "I just want to make sure you haven't forgotten our little deal." "Oh, you mean the deal where you're blackmailing me? No, I haven't forgotten that one.", James snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

Snape wrinkled his nose as if he had just smelled something unpleasant and lifted his chin. "Well, I'd like to add something to that.", he said and James felt his insides squirm uncomfortably. "What?" "I want you to stop playing the hero.", Snape clarified and James almost gaped at him in pure disbelief. "Are you f*cking serious?" "Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm not kidding.", Snape explained with a foul smirk on his ashy lips while James could only blink at him in perplexity. "You...you can't ask me to stop being Spider-Man. I save and protect people, every day."

"Oh, you're so wrong about that. I can and I will." As if to punctuate his words, Snape pulled out his phone and waved it in front of James' nose. "I can destroy your entire life with a single flick of my thumb, Potter.", he reminded him and James swallowed, but his throat was tight as if someone else's hand had closed around it, squeezing and gripping, crushing his trachea with brute force. "And you'd like that, huh? Because then you'd finally win for once and it would at least give your miserable, sad life some meaning.", he spat, although his voice sounded thin, but James didn't care.

He wouldn't draw in his horns, not when it came to someone like Snape who was a coward through and through. "I'm warning you only this once. Give up your suit and your secret stays safe with me.", Snape ground out, his beady black eyes boring into James' skull, but James stared back just as determinedly. "f*ck you and your leverage, I won't do it.", he snarled and Snape clicked his tongue disparagingly. "Okay, whatever. Then by the end of the week, everyone will know who's hiding under the mask.", he replied coldly, put his phone away and left the loo without sparing James another glance.

Which was probably a good thing, because otherwise he would have seen a small flicker of concern in James' eyes and he didn't want to begrudge the disgusting co*ckroach that, he didn't deserve that kind of satisfaction. "f*cking hell..." James quickly looked in the mirror to make sure he didn't look too distraught, then straightened his shoulders and went to the lockers where Sirius, Peter and Marlene were already waiting for him. "Hey, there you are. You alright?", the former asked and James immediately nodded, maybe a little too quickly, but he didn't want to bring the subject up.

He just didn't feel like he would be able to tell a convincing lie right now. "Yeah, but uh...tell me, what's the matter with Mary and Lily? They haven't been on speaking terms since the party." "Well, none of us can answer that question for you, because apparently they not only don't talk to each other anymore, but also mostly avoid us.", Marlene said with a shrug and James tilted his head slightly. "Really? But shouldn't we...?" "We should concentrate on the upcoming prank, my friends.", Sirius interrupted, who was in an incredibly good mood, although none of his friends were exactly sure why.

He put an arm around Peter's and James' shoulders, pulling them along. "Plus it's a fantastic distraction and I think we could all use a little fun right now, huh?" Sirius wagged his eyebrows, that wide, infectious grin on his face that made his eyes sparkle with mischief and James decided he was right. The last thing he wanted to think about today was Snivellus and his pathetic attempt to blackmail him. Because he hadn't told Regulus about that either, and even if he did, that wouldn't change anything, because Snape would still have the upper hand and would have the opportunity to easily reduce several lives to rubble at once.

"Okay nice, distraction sounds good, but why the hell are you grinning like a Cheshire cat? Did Mulciber fall down the stairs and I missed it or what happened?", Marlene asked and linked arms with Peter. "Unfortunately not. Let's just say, I had a little epiphany yesterday and now I'm high spirits.", Sirius answered and Marlene left it at that because there were still so many details to be clarified regarding the prank and within a few minutes all other thoughts or worries were completely forgotten.

~***~

12:15 pm - Lunchtime

"Okay, maybe this is too extreme, but we should definitely..." The rest of the sentence got stuck in Sirius' throat and his eyes fixed on a spot just above Marlene's shoulder with a mixture of disbelief and surprise welling up in them. "What? Did another pigeon fly against the window?", she asked, frowning and James, who was staring in a similarly perplexed way, shook his head and instead turned Marlene's face in said direction. In a split second her expression changed and her mouth fell open. Dorcas, arms stiffly pressed to her sides, stalked nervously towards them, chewing on her bottom lip.

Marlene seemed similarly nervous, her fingers clenching the back of her chair and Peter looked back and forth between the two of them as if he were watching a very exciting tennis match, while quietly nibbling on his baby carrots. "Uhm...hi.", Dorcas said when she finally stopped next to Marlene, who was staring up at her as if she had just discovered her belief in God. Though everyone knew that the only god Marlene believed in was Patti Smith. "Hi.", she replied croaking and then cleared her throat quickly. "Hi.", she repeated, probably hoping to sound cooler, but the slightly idiotic grin on her face kinda spoiled the whole punk attitude.

"Could...could you maybe come with me for a moment?", Dorcas asked, tentatively pointing in the direction of the hallway and Marlene nodded immediately and got up hastily, knocking over her chair, which clattered loudly to the floor. "Yeah, sure.", she replied, not even bothering to pick up the chair, instead running after Dorcas, a slight bounce to her step that none of the boys had ever seen her do before. "Okay, five pounds they're going to make out with each other.", Sirius said with a grin and Peter nodded. "I'm in.", he mumbled and speared another baby carrot.

"You know what? I'm happy for them, they deserve it. I mean, they were practically made for each other.", James said, resting his chin in one hand and Sirius nodded slowly. "Like you and Reg, huh?" The words caught James so off guard that he flinched, his elbow slipped over the edge of the table and he most definitely would've crashed his face into his lunch if his reflexes hadn't saved him. "W-What? I, uh, have absolutely no idea what you're talking about mate.", James stammered while Sirius gave him a smirk and seemed to enjoy the fact that he was gabbling on again.

"I-I mean Reg is great, but we would never...we didn't..." "Relax James, I know.", Sirius chuckled, patting James on the shoulder who looked as if someone had unplugged his brain. And to be honest, he felt a little bit like that too. "W-What? What do you mean?", he squeaked in confusion because...holy sh*t, with everything that was going on in his life right now, you couldn't blame him for not being quite as observant as usual, could you? "You and Reggie, I know and I like it. I'm happy for you.", Sirius clarified, gently squeezing James' shoulder. "Y-You...oh..."

James let out a relieved laugh and leaned slightly into the touch. "I uh...I probably would have told you, but it just happened yesterday and well..." "It's alright Jamie, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I've suspected for a while that there were things going on between the two of you and actually, I was just waiting for you guys to finally get your sh*t together.", Sirius explained easily and ruffled James' hair lovingly. "I couldn't think of anyone better for my little brother anyway.", he added, taking a load off James' shoulders that he hadn't known was there in the first place.

But now that he could breathe a little easier, he realized that he had apparently been more concerned about that than he had thought. Regulus was important to him, but the friendship with Sirius was...something more and James wasn't quite sure what he would have done if Sirius hadn't liked the fact that he and Reg were together now. If he'd said James wasn't good enough for his little brother, that Regulus was taboo and off limits, that James couldn't have it both ways... Oh god, if he had been asked to choose, he would've just imploded right then and there because giving him the choice was probably the cruellest thing James could imagine.

"Thanks, mate. Really." James punched Sirius gently on the shoulder and Sirius winked at him. "Scoring both of the Black brothers, there must be something about you James.", Peter commented and Sirius gasped in disgust. "Excuse you? He didn't score me. That would be...nah, James is like a brother to me. No, that would be gross. Shame on you Pete!", he chided, knocking the fork out of Peter's hand. "Now don't pretend to be all high and mighty when it comes to keeping it in the family, we all know your parents are cousins.", he replied, a bit snotty and Sirius clutched his chest dramatically.

"How dare you?! We said we'd never bring that up again. You filthy traitor, you..." "That was really a low blow Pete.", James agreed, although he didn't quite manage to hold back the grin that was trying to fight its way onto his lips and when Sirius was about to get fussy about it, Marlene fell onto the edge of the table and Peter's drinking pack with orange juice in it tipped over. "I'm back.", she announced, tossing back her bleached hair and crossing her legs. "And how was it?", James asked, although the answer was totally obvious, but Marlene still acted coy.

"Oh lovely, we talked a bit and Dorcas asked me out on a date.", she replied, fiddling with her earring, which looked like an oversized safety pin. "And?" Sirius had leaned back and was wagging his eyebrows conspiratorially because what Dorcas and Marlene had been doing was painfully obvious. Her tie was completely rumpled, her blouse half ripped out of her skirt, and her cheeks were speckled with red. "And we snogged each other senseless.", she then said with a nonchalant shrug and ran her thumb over her slightly puffy lower lip, which looked like someone had worked their teeth on it.

"Congratulations.", Peter said, frowning in concentration and trying to separate his mashed potatoes and his orange juice, which had meanwhile formed a mushy, inseparable unit. "Thanks, Pete. I would say that you will surely find someone soon, but we all know that your true love is trash TV.", Marlene said and Peter nodded in agreement. "Truer words were never spoken." Sirius laughed and pushed his plate of mashed potatoes towards Peter, who accepted it with a silent smile.

James, however, looked over at the table at the other end of the cafeteria where Dorcas was sitting between Evan and Pandora, battered in a similar way to Marlene, blushing like there was no tomorrow. And at the very edge of said table, there was Regulus, staring back steadily, a soft smile curling his lips, hardly really there, but James could see it, for he knew where it was hiding. Between upper and lower lip, in the right corner of his mouth and you had to be careful not to scare it away but to lure it out with tender kisses until it blossomed and made Regulus' whole face shine.

"I'm going to ask him out on a date.", James mumbled more to himself, and when the last bell rang, heralding the end of the day, he hastily said goodbye to his friends and sprinted off to catch up with Regulus. He made it, even if he nearly hit a garbage can in the process, and Regulus didn't know whether to be worried or let his glee run free. "You alright?", he asked, sounding mildly amused and James, a little out of breath, nodded. "Take a walk with me, now. Bessborough Gardens for example. A nice park, not too big and not too small. What do you say?"

It just bubbled out of him and for a moment James feared Regulus would have trouble following him, but then he smiled and co*cked his head slightly. "Is that a date?", he asked and again James nodded eagerly. "Yep, is that a yes?" Regulus glanced in all directions, then slipped his fingers between James' and leaned towards him. "Yes.", he whispered, and James wondered how a single word had the power to make his knees go weak. They left the school hand in hand, walking down the street, in comfortable silence, past the church at St George's Square, down Lupus Street until Bessborough Gardens came into view on the right.

The sun was shining, the rustling leaves of the trees painted dancing shadows on the grass and the water from the fountain rippled softly while a few other people were walking along with them, some strolling arm in arm, others sitting on benches with books in their laps or listening to music. "Didn't think you were someone who likes to go for a walk.", Regulus said after a while and James stopped. "Oh really? Why?" "I don't know, I didn't think someone like you would have time for this.", Regulus explained, lowering his voice now and James smirked. "Someone like me?"

"Someone who is always the centre of attention, someone who always draws everybody's eyes in his direction, someone who always catches the spotlight." "Believe me, this isn't as great as it sounds.", James laughed, brushing back an unruly lock of Regulus' dark hair. "I like it quiet." Regulus arched an eyebrow. "Quiet? James, you're not quiet. You're loud and bright, you're a bloody menace. Crazy I might also add." "Crazy, huh?" James, his hand still lingering at Regulus' temple, looked around briefly and then ran off.

"James? James!" Regulus turned and stared after him, watching in growing horror as James climbed onto the branch of a tree and then dangled himself upside down from it. "Is that what you mean by 'crazy'?", he asked aloud, inevitably drawing other people's attention and judging from the expression on his face James guessed Regulus wanted to sink into the ground in embarrassment and never resurface. "James! Jesus Christ, what are you doing? Come down, everyone's staring at us.", Regulus hissed as he strode briskly towards him but James had other plans.

"Nope, I like it here. I think I'll stay here for a bit longer.", he mused and Regulus huffed, rolling his eyes. "You're an idiot, Potter." "Yeah, but now I'm your idiot. That's a huge difference.", James explained and Regulus made a face. "Yeah, because that means you're my problem now, you wanker.", he grumbled, taking a step closer to James. "Hm, are you having deja vu too?", James whispered, his glasses about to slip off his nose. "Deja vu? Hm no, not that I can remember." Regulus placed both hands on James' cheeks and began to play with his hair.

"No? Well then I guess I'll have to jog your memory.", James said with mock disappointment and Regulus smiled, all teeth and deviousness and James loved it. Their lips crashed against one another and neither gave a damn about if anybody was watching. This moment was only theirs. James slipped his arms around Regulus, relying on the grip of his legs to keep him from falling and deepened the kiss. Beneath the taste of the bland lunch from the cafeteria lay something that was quintessentially Regulus, and James looked for it every time they kissed.

It was bitter and sweet at the same time, pure and unadulterated, and it was addictive. James would never get enough of it, not even after exchanging a million kisses and he would chase that feeling to the ends of the world if he had to. Regulus was his person, he was what James had always sought and longed for without knowing it, the silent desire in his chest that had always been there and whose needy whining was now stilled. Because now he had found it and Regulus in his arms felt like the answer to every question that existed in the universe and James felt intoxicated by something only Regulus could give him.

With a quiet sigh escaping his mouth, James ran his tongue across Regulus' bottom lip and he was immediately granted access, and Regulus' tongue was warm and wet and velvety and he could have stayed there until the blood would've inevitably rushed to his head at some point hadn't something smashed into the trunk of the tree next to him at that very moment. Regulus backed away with what sounded like a moan and in any other situation James would have immediately gone in search of the source of that lovely sound, but what had smashed into the bark looked suspiciously like a bullet.

"What the...?" Regulus had furrowed his eyebrows and looked cutely displeased with the situation while James surveyed the bullet hole. "Did someone just try to kill you?", Regulus asked tightly, trying not to sound panicky when he saw the bullet in James' palm. "No, if this person wanted to kill me, then I would be dead now. This..." He unscrewed the bullet and a finely rolled-up piece of paper appeared. "It was intentional that I was missed." "Weird way of contacting you.", Regulus remarked, running a hand through his hair, which was already completely dishevelled.

"Only because the person couldn't do it any other way." James' eyes darted over the message, which had been written in scrawled letters. "You have to go, don't you?", Regulus sighed and James slid off the branch. "Yeah, well...at least Spider-Man has to." "It's okay, I understand. Just...be careful, okay?" James grabbed Regulus' hands and laced their fingers together. "For you? Always." Regulus' expression flickered briefly and then he opened his mouth, presumably to make a snarky remark, but instead, he just stammered something unintelligible and blushed a bit.

"Cute.", James whispered, kissing Regulus on the forehead, the latter closing his eyes and when he opened them again James was gone.

~***~

'Meet me on the roof of the Panoramic in ten minutes' That was the message, that James had received in such an unusual way and he could already guess who had sent it to him. And unsurprisingly, it was Remus who was waiting for him, arms folded across his chest, in a sturdy stance, his body tense, and James' spider sense immediately kicked in in the form of a tingling in the back of his neck. "So, you wanted to see me, Deadpool?", James asked, keeping a safe distance between himself and the mercenary, who was staring at the ground.

"Yes.", he answered curtly, which only further confirmed James' suspicion that something was wrong. "Okay and why?" A long pause followed during which one could hear the murmur of the Thames and the screeching of the seagulls circling in the sky overhead so close to the river. James swallowed, starting to feel a little queasy, and then Remus took a deep breath. "I got the order to kill you. And I was offered a lot of money for it."

"Kill me?", James echoed, not entirely sure if he'd said it out loud. Of course, someone wanted him out of the way and hired a mercenary to do the dirty work. And of course it was the only mercenary James knew personally. Instinctively he took a step backwards and began to search for a convenient escape route when Remus tore off his mask and raised his hands. "I won't hurt you. I won't do that.", he said, sounding perfectly honest. James eyed him. It was immediately clear to him why Sirius had become hopelessly infatuated with him, as Remus was quite the looker.

Features built perfectly as if carved out of marble, honey-coloured loose curls, amber eyes, olive complexion, and some scars that were in just the right places to make him look like a daredevil. "I think...the person who hired me to kill you and the leader of this gang you're dealing with are one and the same.", Remus continued, slowly lowering his arms. "I think you've become too dangerous for them and now they want to get rid of you." "How much money were you offered?", James wanted to know and Remus blinked at him in confusion, seeming surprised by the question.

"Uh...50,000 pounds.", he replied, and James gave a quiet gasp. "That...is a lot of money." "Yes...and while I need it, I won't earn it by killing you.", Remus said seriously, pursing his lips. "You're one of the good guys." James swallowed hard and scratched the back of his neck. "And what are you going to do now?" "Well, I won't shoot you, that's for sure. But...I'm definitely going to get in trouble if I don't complete the mission, so...I think we should work together.", Remus suggested and James raised his eyebrows, although of course Remus couldn't see that.

"You...what? Working together?", he repeated and Remus put his mask back on. "Yes, we should find out exactly what their plan is and how we can prevent them from being successful." "But...aren't you putting a target on your back by doing that?", James mumbled, rubbing his upper arm and Remus gave a wry laugh. "I'm risking my life every day, Spidey. Wouldn't it be a nice change to risk it for a good cause this time?", he chuckled, which didn't take away from the guilt that was already sinking heavily into James' stomach.

Yes, but what if you die? What if it's my fault? What if in the end your blood is on my hands?

"Oi, Spidey!" James winced and looked up. Remus was standing on the edge of the roof, half-facing the chasm that opened up just below him, where people were walking around and cars driving up and down the busy streets. "Come on, I think we're going to make a pretty good team.", he said, a distinct smirk in his voice and James squared his shoulders. Yes, maybe they'd both die in the end, but then at least they'd tried everything to prevent the catastrophe, right? It would be worth it...wouldn't it?

~***~

The best fish and chips in London weren't found in any fancy posh restaurant, but at a small stand on the corner of Strutton Ground and Old Pye Street, which for years had been wafting its delicious scent there between four in the afternoon and nine at night. James had spotted it with Sirius when they were younger, on a rainy day in late summer. They'd run away from Effie and Monty, gotten lost, but obviously too cool to admit it, and then stumbled across this stall where the friendly old man who looked a bit like a tide-worn sailor had offered them some free food and a seat under his big umbrella.

James was pretty sure it was one of those extra important core memories that would forever have a special place in his mind. "Do you always treat yourself to fish and chips after a fight with some criminals?", Remus asked, sitting next to him, one leg dangling over the edge and some tartar sauce stuck to his cupid's bow. "Well, my patrols don't usually are that exciting.", James countered, grinning, popping some fries into his mouth. "Oh, so you're telling me being Spider-Man is boring?" Remus laughed, raising an eyebrow in doubt.

"No, what I'm saying is...I've never had a partner back me up before.", James explained smiling and the co*ckiness drained from Remus' face instantly. "Someone I can trust...", he then added quietly and peeled the golden-brown crust off his fish. It wasn't like there wasn't anyone in his life he could trust, to say that would have been utter bullsh*t and at least Regulus knew about his secret now, but...somehow it was something completely different to not enter a fight alone, knowing that someone would protect your blind spot.

"Remus." James looked up and completely forgot to act surprised because although Remus had never told him his real name before, of course, he already knew it. Which had always felt like an advantage before, but now it was more of a guilty conscience, nagging in the back of his head. "Remus Lupin, that's my real name.", Remus said while James could only gape at him stupidly. "I guess I kind of owe you that and no, don't worry, I don't expect you to do the same now, but I thought..." "James. James Potter."

The words slipped out of him before he could have prevented it and for a moment James thought he had made a gigantic mistake, but then Remus held out his hand with a warm smile. "Nice to meet you, James.", he said and James, albeit a little trembling, took the offered hand. "Somehow the name sounds familiar to me...", Remus then remarked thoughtfully while James got rid of his mask completely and put it down next to him on the roof they were sitting on together. "Oh really?", he asked absently, determined now to devote himself fully to his meal, as Remus' jaw dropped and he stared at him in disbelief.

"James? Sirius' James?" "Uh..." The piece of fish James was about to eat flopped back into the cardboard tray and he didn't know what to say. Should he lie and claim that he had absolutely no idea what Remus was talking about? No, he didn't want to tell any more lies, especially not to the person who had surely spared him a few punches in the face earlier. Remus had shown him his true self without much hesitation and he already knew Sirius, so why keep up a facade that had already crumbled?

"Uhm...yeah, he uh...mentioned me?" "Only once when we first met, but...yeah. You're his best friend, right?" Remus now had both legs drawn up to his chest and his chin resting on his knees and with a sigh James put his food aside for good and turned his attention entirely to Remus. "Yes, we've known each other since we were eleven." "And does he know you're Spider-Man?", Remus wanted to know, frowning and James pushed out his lower lip. "No, he doesn't know.", he mumbled, instinctively wanting to adjust his glasses but realizing they weren't sitting on his nose right now.

"My dad doesn't know what I'm doing to pay the medical bills either, but I guess it's better that way.", Remus murmured, suddenly looking far away and looking a little melancholic. "He'd probably get mad if he knew and my mum...well, I think she'd be worried about herself 24/7." A sad smile crossed Remus' face and James wasn't entirely sure because of the early evening sun, but it looked like a few tears were glistening in his eyes. "But that's the thing with secret second identities, huh? You live a whole other life and you can't tell anyone about it."

James was silent, feeling a lump forming in his throat and when he forced himself to speak, he sounded frail and raspy. "But it's better this way. Safer. For those we love." "Yeah, but also lonely. You probably don't like it, but it felt like a relief to be honest with Sirius and tell him the whole truth.", Remus said with a small chuckle and James let out a surprised 'Oh'. "You went back to him?" Remus nodded, his eyes still on something on the horizon that seemed invisible to James. "Yes, I owed him an explanation and I wanted him to know that the kiss wasn't a mistake for me."

The end of the sentence was drowned out in a heavy mumble and James saw Remus turn away, probably to hide the blush that had spread on his cheeks. "You really like Sirius, don't you?", James asked and Remus, still looking away, nodded. "I think I might be a bit obsessed with him, but yeah. I really, really like him." He took a shaky breath, cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair a few times before daring to look James in the face again.

"And I know you and I would do anything to avoid putting those we love in danger because of us, but...let's face it, even if they aren't the primary target of our enemies, they will always be at risk somehow as soon as they step outside the door. That's life and we have to learn to live with that fear. But we can't let it control us." There was a brief silence between them and James felt the words slowly settle on his shoulders as they unleashed their full weight upon him.

"It's bloody lonely carrying a burden like that on your own and it starts to wreck you trying to get by without help. Which is why I don't regret telling Sirius. I think...I think I would regret it more had I decided to stay away from him because...because thinking about him gives me one more reason to get out of bed in the morning." Remus smiled again, a little dreamily, something hazy cloaking his eyes and James realized he felt the same way. Remus was hopelessly in love too and just like him hopelessly trapped in a second life of their own choosing.

What they had also chosen was not to share it with anyone and to handle it all alone, except that Remus had now changed his mind and yes, James had let Regulus in on the whole thing, but he was still lying to so many people. People he cared about, who were his family and who deserved to know the truth. And no matter what happened, James would never be able to always save everyone and as much as he might dislike it, Sirius and the others counted as part of that. He would never be able to always protect everyone, that was a truth his mother had told him to accept and now the time had come.

James no longer wanted to lie and to slowly burst under this weight, he didn't want to be alone anymore, in a cage he had built himself. And all he had to do was be honest about it. Honest with himself and his friends because at least Sirius and Peter deserved to be in the know. And who said it would be easier to have to do the whole thing on his own? Wasn't it common knowledge that things went easier when you had help? That everything would fall apart even quicker if you tried to maintain the bridge alone?

James had been so fixated on protecting his loved ones that he'd completely isolated himself in the process, not even realizing how much he had been hurting because of it."I'll tell them.", James blurted out, sounding a lot more confident than he'd thought. "I'll tell my friends." He locked eyes with Remus, who nodded and gave him a quick pat on the shoulder. Reassuring, silently telling him it was the right thing to do. "Good. That means now we can finally talk about the fact that I have a pretty good idea where the bad guys' headquarters are.", Remus said, and yet again, James felt a bit dumbfounded.

Chapter 16

Chapter Text

It had never taken James so long to come up with a simple text message. He rewrote the message what felt like hundreds of times, sometimes he wrote half a novel, sometimes just a single sentence, but none of it felt right. He just couldn't think of the right words and it was either too much or too little, and after James had thrown his phone in the corner of his room and stared at it in frustration for ten minutes, he decided to group chat with Peter and Sirius and typed three red sirens emojis followed by 'SOS: Emergency meeting in twenty minutes.'

He hoped it didn't sound too ominous, but...well, he really had something big to reveal so he had every right to call it an emergency. And since Sirius and Peter could always be counted on, they both answered within minutes. Sirius texted 'On my way' and Peter sent a thumbs up and a bike emoji and James felt his pulse quicken. There was no turning back now, now he had to figure out the best way to tell them and...oh f*ck, what if they got mad? What if they were disappointed that he had kept it from them for so long? That he had lied to them for so long? What if they could never trust him again?

James dropped his phone and kicked it to the end of his bed as if it had suddenly sprouted teeth, clutching his pillow to his chest. But continuing to deceive them wasn't an option either. Remus was right. It was bloody stupid and foolish trying to pull this off on your own and after all he had the best friends anyone could ask for so he really had no choice but to go through with it now. He no longer wanted to be a lousy hypocrite and although he was now determined to tell the truth, his throat felt tight and dry, as if he couldn't make a single sound even if he tried to scream.

The fear made his tongue heavy as lead, paralyzed his brain and at the same time made the greatest effort to instead chase one horror scenario after the other through his mind in a continuous loop, which played out in front of his inner eyes like a limbo, created for his own personal hell. James didn't even realize he'd been sitting tensely on his bed, staring into space, until he heard his father's voice calling up to him from downstairs that Sirius and Peter were there.

"Y-Yes, I know!", James called back shakily, hearing his father mutter something under his breath and then two pairs of feet stomped up the stairs, the door to his room swung open and Sirius and Peter strutted in, looking like men on a mission, determined to face the crisis, no matter what it might be. "Okay, we're here, where's the fire?", Sirius asked, hands on his hips. James looked up, head hanging like a beaten puppy, and sheepishly he replied: "It's me. I'm the fire." Peter and Sirius exchanged a confused look and a short, clueless shrug before sitting down next to James on the edge of his bed.

"What happened?", Peter wanted to know and James only now saw that he had a small backpack with him that rattled suspiciously and a weak smile crossed his face. That had always been Peter's tactic, when words or hugs didn't do the trick he would resort to biscuits or other baked goods because when you had food you had something to do and that was a distraction. It actually worked amazingly well, although James recalled with a faint uneasiness one of Sirius' breakdowns because of his family, crying and sniffling, shovelling the cake into his mouth with snot running down his nose and then almost choking on it.

"I uh...I lied to you guys and I feel like sh*t about it and...this has to end now. I'm going to tell you the truth.", James said, his voice a wobbly mess and Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. "Okay I...we're sure you had your reasons for lying to us, didn't you?", he asked and James clearly heard the spark of hope in his tone and it hurt. "Yeah, but that doesn't excuse all the lies I've told. You're my best friends, you're practically family and...and you deserve to know.", he replied, taking a deep breath.

Now it was time. It felt like falling off a cliff at any moment, not knowing what would be waiting for you at the bottom of the abyss, and James' heart speeded up again, now beating so hard he almost felt sick. "There's a reason for my strange behaviour, which I'm sure you've noticed, and that reason is...I am Spider-Man." It was the first time James had said the words out loud like this, and it felt frighteningly final. A step he would never be able to take back because the bridge had collapsed behind him.

James didn't even dare to look Sirius or Peter in the face and for an agonizingly long moment the world seemed to stand still and then... "What?! Are you freaking kidding us?!", Sirius blurted out, but to James' immense relief, he didn't sound angry, just completely taken by surprise. "You're Spider-Man? The guy in the red and blue suit who swings around town, rescuing people and beating up criminals? That's you?", he asked, more or less staggering through all the questions that were no doubt racing through his head right now and James, lips pressed together, nodded.

"Yup, that's me.", he admitted and Sirius, who had jumped to his feet, just stared at him, wide-eyed and gaping. "Holy f*cking sh*t...", he breathed and then flopped onto his bottom and James swallowed hard. "Huh...I sort of knew.", Peter said casually and Sirius whipped his head around. "You knew? How?!" "Well, I kinda got this weird feeling the whole time James came up with his excuses because, let's face it, you're a terrible liar mate. Looking back, that's the only explanation which is logical.", Peter replied matter-of-factly, apparently taking the news very easily.

"Well, I didn't have a vague premonition like you did and...James, you're going to tell us everything right now!", Sirius demanded, wagging his index finger and James immediately nodded. "Of course, but...you're not mad at me, are you?", he asked sheepishly, feeling incredibly small and Sirius and Peter glanced at each other as if they couldn't even begin to understand why James was asking them this incredibly stupid question. "Why should we be mad?" "Well, because I...lied to you and didn't tell you anything about the whole thing...", James mumbled, nervously tugging at the hem of his shirt and Sirius actually rolled his eyes.

"We're not stupid, James. You did it to protect us, right?" "Y-Yes, but..." "Well, then that would be settled. And now tell us everything and when I say everything, then I mean everything.", Peter interrupted him and without taking his piercing gaze away from him, lifted his small backpack on his lap and pulled out a box of biscuits. Each of them took one and James tried to organize his thoughts that had gone completely haywire. "Okay so...it all started when we visited this spider lab in Nottingham on this school field trip. One of the little crawly critters escaped and...I got bitten. And overnight, well... everything just changed.", he said trying to relax because for some reason this was a lot harder than when he had explained it to Regulus.

"I got up the next morning and suddenly I was faster, stronger, my wounds healed faster, I could climb up walls and shoot webs and...oh yeah, I don't really need these anymore." James took off his glasses and Sirius literally gasped in shock. "You're wearing fake glasses?", Peter asked and James nodded. "Yeah...I kinda feel naked without them.", he replied, pushing his glasses back on his nose. "Anyway, I decided relatively quickly that I wanted to use my powers for the benefit of others and...then everything happened very quickly. Although...I worked on the design of the suit for ages."

"You really did that yourself? Wow...that's really impressive considering you didn't even know how to use duct tape before.", Sirius replied, resting his chin in one hand and James' brows furrowed. "Oi, at least I didn't superglue myself to the kitchen table.", he countered and Sirius was about to reply indignantly that this was just a one-off incident when Peter intervened. "Okay okay, so just for us to understand, every time you've almost been late for school or mysteriously disappeared somewhere, then...you were actually out there as Spider-Man to protect the city, right?"

"Yes, I mean...I try and do my best every day.", James offered with a shrug and Sirius laughed. "Don't downplay yourself, Jamie. You're a bloody superhero and...wait, does Regulus know?" He had raised an eyebrow almost in warning and James couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "Yeah, he...uhm he found out more by accident but yeah, he's in on it too." "Good, I imagine he'd be pretty pissed if he found out sometime later and then found out we knew about it all along.", Sirius sighed, grabbing another biscuit.

They were silent for a moment and all that could be heard was soft crunching and crumbs falling on the floor. Then James exhaled loudly and flopped back onto his bed. "Are you feeling better now?", Peter asked, leaning over him and James, who had his eyes closed, nodded slightly. "A lot." "We're glad you told us." The mattress lowered a little more as Sirius took a seat on the bed and snuggled up to James. "Now we have a f*cking superhero as a friend, how cool is that?" James chuckled softly and ran his fingers through his hair. "Thanks, guys..."

"You don't have to thank us, we'll always stand by you no matter what. That's why we're your friends." Peter lay down next to him, clutching the biscuit box to his chest and grinned at him. "Now you're even more awesome than before." "Hm...there are days when I feel more like the opposite.", James murmured and Sirius, frowning, looked up. "Don't listen to that bullsh*t the media makes up, mate. You've saved so many lives already and the people of this town should really be more grateful to you.", he grumbled and Peter hummed in agreement.

"But because that's probably never going to happen, since humans are fundamentally assholes, Sirius and I are going to tell you on their behalf: We're really damn proud of you." And that was enough to finally break all the levees and a tidal wave inside of James just swept everything away and he started to cry. From relief and joy, from exhaustion and a bit of desperation, but mainly because he was so thankful for these two idiots who had just decided to stay by his side forever. Sniffling, James removed his glasses, Peter shoved another biscuit into his mouth and Sirius wrapped his arms around him.

They just lay there for a little while and James was sure he would regret eating in his bed later when all the spiky crumbs pricked him, but right now it didn't matter. Sirius fished out a crumpled t-shirt from the laundry piled in the corner and gave it to James to blow his nose and Peter started talking about the recipe for the biscuits he had brought. A bit of normality to ground James, to show him that he would never be alone and would always have someone to catch him should he fall.

"By the way, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that I'm working with Remus now.", James eventually said, sounding slightly nasal and Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" "Yeah, someone hired him to get me out of the way and he thinks it's the boss of this gang that's causing trouble at the moment.", James explained. "Ah, you mean the Death Eaters.", Peter piped up and James gave him an irritated look. "The what?" "Death Eaters, the media have now given them a nickname.", Peter explained and James co*cked his head slightly. "Okay, but...I don't get it."

"Neither do I, but they must have thought of something...or not, it's the tabloids after all.", Peter said with a shrug and James wiped down his still slightly damp cheeks. "Uhm...anyway..." "So you and Remus, huh? You're a team now?", Sirius asked, his chin resting on his knees which were pulled up to his chest. "Yeah, he has an idea where the headquarters are and once we know exactly what their plan is then we can prevent it.", James continued and cleared his throat. "And I'm pretty sure he's completely and utterly hopelessly in love with you, by the way.", he added, and Sirius blinked at him before blushing the tiniest bit.

"Did he say that?" James smirked. "He didn't have to." Sirius smiled and buried his face halfway between his legs, obviously trying to stifle a squeak of delight, which he managed poorly. "Okay, so...if you're trying to hunt down the bad guys together, then I want to help.", Peter then said, sounding absolutely determined. James spun around. "What? No! That's out of the question, it's far too dangerous, Pete." "But it's also dangerous for you and you put yourself at risk of being injured or bloody die every day. A little help couldn't hurt you.", Sirius now joined in and James desperately looked back and forth between the two as if they'd collectively lost their minds just now.

"At the risk of repeating myself, no! If anything happens to you, it would be my fault and I could never forgive myself." "Yes, but just as you made the decision to keep us in the dark, we're now making the decision not to let you fight the bad guys alone.", Sirius countered loftily and James wanted to jump for his throat. "I hate you, you know what? Why can't you ever listen when you're told something, huh?", James groaned in exasperation and Sirius grinned widely at him. "Complain to my biological parents, they screwed up on that aspect."

"Just promise us that you'll at least let us in on everything that happens from now on, okay? And if there's anything we can do for you, then tell us.", Peter pleaded and James sighed deeply. "Okay okay, I'll promise...but then you'll have to promise me that you won't put yourself in any unnecessary danger." "We promise.", Peter and Sirius said and at that moment they both meant it completely seriously, but who could have known at that point in time that one of the two would break that very promise only a short time later?

They chatted for a little while about totally irrelevant stuff and James was glad because it gave his overworked brain a little break. Eventually Peter got a call from his mother and Sirius messages from Regulus as to what the hell he'd been up to for so long (and if James was okay) and despite Effie's offer to stay for dinner, they both politely declined and said goodbye to James. "Too bad, I wouldn't have had no problem arranging a last-minute sleepover for my boys.", Effie said after closing the front door and James smiled at her. "I know, Mum."

Effie turned around, always that incredible warmth in her eyes, and eyed him. "Are you alright darling?" James paused, thinking about the last few days and the last conversation he had with his mother, and decided to be honest with her as well. "It's getting better.", he said and then hugged her and god, his mother really gave the best hugs in the whole universe. And she never let go first so James let her hold him and she stroked his hair and kissed his forehead and James felt safe. "Oh sweetheart, always remember, all you need is a little faith in yourself and a few people who believe in you.", she whispered, hugging James tighter.

~***~

When Sirius got home, Regulus was sitting in an odd crouched position on the sofa doing his homework and Sirius silently wondered how it was that he hadn't gotten cramps in both his legs yet. "I'm back.", Sirius said, hanging his leather jacket up in the hallway and then strolling into the living room. "Hmm, crisis over?", he asked without looking up from his notes and Sirius kicked off his shoes. "Yep, everything is alright now." "Good.", Regulus replied, pinching his pen between his lips and sticking some colourful post-its across the pages of his textbook.

"So...must be nice to have Spider-Man as a boyfriend, huh?", Sirius then remarked casually, flopping down onto the only free seat the sofa had left and Regulus' pen fell out of his mouth. It was an absolutely priceless look on his face and Sirius promptly burst out laughing. "You...!" Regulus stared at him in shock and confusion while Sirius was still laughing and his brother's expression was slowly turning to annoyed anger. "You know." "Yes, I know. James told me and Peter.", Sirius said, still giggling and Regulus, despite the scowl on his face, looked relieved.

"Okay, that...no, that's a good thing, then we don't have to keep secrets from each other.", he replied and then went back to his homework. "Yeah, I guess not being able to tell anyone was a bit of a strain on him, so...I'm glad Pete and I know now. And that he has you." Sirius sat back and Regulus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "Hmm, you already said that. And to be honest, it makes me a little suspicious that you haven't yet played the drama queen and whined that it's unfair because you don't have anyone to snog.", he muttered, but Sirius just smiled smugly, patiently waiting for Regulus to catch on and since his little brother was damn smart it was only a few seconds before he lowered his pen and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh. I guess that means Remus came back." "Hmm, he did.", Sirius hummed dreamily and Regulus eyed him. "Well...now I can say it out loud, it doesn't surprise me in the least that you fell for a literal murderer." "Oi, he doesn't just randomly kill people.", Sirius protested and Regulus rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, sorry, my mistake. He kills people for money that other people set him to kill. Of course, that's something completely different." "Oh, you little..!" Sirius threw himself across Regulus' homework, knocked his little brother over and together they fell off the sofa.

"You complete lunatic, what are you doing?!", Regulus shrieked, trying to get Sirius off of him by kicking him. "You take right back that my boyfriend is a murderer, you mean little gnome!", Sirius yelled, pinching Regulus in the side and Regulus squeaked loudly. "Bloody hell, what is wrong with you?!", he screamed, trying to wriggle out of Sirius' grasp, but to no avail. "Oh so much, I thought we'd covered that long ago. Mother probably dropped me on my head one too many times when I was a baby.", Sirius replied with a shrug and Regulus rolled his eyes with a groan.

"You are insufferable." "Yeah, I love you too.", Sirius said with a grin, poking Regulus in the side again and then letting him go. "Ugh fine, your friend isn't a killer, he's a multi-talented guy with a very special job. Satisfied?", Regulus huffed, scooting away from Sirius on his butt to put some distance between them as quickly as possible. "Hm, for now.", Sirius said, bobbing his head slightly and Regulus grunted and blew a strand of hair out of his face. "At least you don't have to worry 24/7 about something happening to your boyfriend...", he then mumbled and Sirius' smile faded. "Reggie..."

"No, it's alright. Forget what I said. Let's...let's order some food, I'm hungry.", Regulus babbled hastily, screwing his eyes shut and Sirius sighed softly. "No, it...it's totally understandable that you're worried about James. So am I. And I'm worried about Remus, too, because...well, I'm sure there are a lot of people who...who want to see him dead for what he's doing." "Yeah...sh*t, I didn't think of that. I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry.", Regulus murmured, staring at his feet in embarrassment, but Sirius shook his head.

"It's okay, Reggie. This...this is new to both of us and we have to learn to deal with it somehow." He stood up, straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. "And luckily I have the perfect recipe for that." "You're not going to give some stupid touchy-feely speech to make me feel better, are you?", Regulus asked doubtfully, blinking up at him and Sirius gave a snort. "Pfff no, I have something much better.", he answered and went straight to the kitchen and got the milk from the fridge. "Effie's Hot Chocolate." At that, Regulus perked up and craned his neck.

"She told you how to make it?" "Yep, when we moved out she said there would definitely come a time when we needed her hot chocolate but she wouldn't be around so she taught me how to do it.", Sirius replied, pulling two mugs out of the cupboard. "And while I try not to burn the milk, you pick a movie, okay?" Sirius glanced over his shoulder at Regulus and he immediately put all his school things aside and started searching for the remote control among the sofa cushions.

The hot chocolate turned out surprisingly decent and Regulus, after much deliberation, decided on 'Little Women' as the film of the evening. Sirius initially complained but got more and more invested and they both broke into a heated debate about whether Laurie was a better match for Jo or Amy, and after the hot chocolate was finished and the discussion put aside, they slept shoulder to shoulder, cuddled up on the sofa and the next morning they almost both missed their alarm clock.

~***~

Wednesday, 2:51 pm - Westminster, London

"Ugh, can't time go by faster?", James groaned, resting his head on Sirius' shoulder, kicking his feet impatiently and Sirius patted his knee in understanding. He had been upset all day about the fact that class lasted until just before four o'clock, and rightly so, mind you, because he had to wait exactly that long before he could meet up with Remus so that they could continue with their plan. "I really hate to say it, but I think it would be a bit conspicuous if you just disappeared and skipped the last lesson.", Peter remarked and James groaned again.

"I know, but this is all precious time we're wasting.", he sighed as Regulus suddenly pushed his way between him and Sirius. "Move over.", he grumbled and Sirius made a face, but did as Regulus said and made room for him. "Well, I haven't heard from you since you left me in the park yesterday and I want to know right now what happened since then.", he demanded grimly and despite his cutting tone, James couldn't help but smile at him lovingly. God, he was so hopelessly devoted to that boy. "Stop ogling me like that, I'm mad at you.", Regulus growled, punching James in the shoulder.

"Y-Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I know I should have texted you.", he replied sheepishly and Regulus folded his arms across his chest. "The message was from Remus. Someone sent him to kill me, but surprise, instead we're working together now to take down the bad guys. That's the short version at least." "Okay, so what's your plan?", Regulus asked, looking completely unfazed and James gaped at him in admiration for a second before hurrying to explain further. "Remus has a suspicion of where the uh...the Death Eaters are hiding and if we can track them down and find out exactly what they're up to, then we can deal with them more effectively."

Regulus nodded, seeming very focused on the whole thing, and then announced: "I want to help." "No, that's out of the question.", James said immediately and Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?" "Why? Because it's bloody dangerous. I tried to explain that to these two idiots yesterday, but unfortunately, they're too stubborn to listen to me.", James explained strained while Peter and Sirius just grinned at him innocently. "Well then buckle up Potter, because I'm more stubborn than these two combined. I'll help you, whether you want it or not.", Regulus replied, raising his chin slightly and James wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall.

Why were all of his loved ones so keen on putting a target on their back? "Listen, this isn't a game. You could get hurt. Why don't you understand that?" "No James, on the contrary. We know the risk, but we want to help you because we love you. And..." Regulus lowered his voice and his ears turned a tiny bit red. "And some things are just worth risking your life for." "You..." James felt his breath getting caught in his throat as something else was trying to fight its way up and he let out a shaky laugh, resting his forehead against Regulus' temple.

"God, I wanna kiss you so bad right now...", he whispered, slipping his fingers between Regulus'. "N-Not here.", Regulus replied tightly, but squeezed his hand lightly and James again felt a million little fireworks explode in his chest. By now it was just hard for him to put into words how much Regulus was driving him insane. How he would gladly give anything if Regulus would only ask him to. "Ugh, if you absolutely must kiss, do it somewhere I can't see you.", Sirius muttered, making a choking noise.

"Oh and here was, thinking that my big brother was happy for me and supported my relationship.", Regulus said, clicking his tongue and Sirius pursed his bottom lip. "I do, but I don't want to look at how disgustingly in love you two are with each other all day.", he grumbled and Peter chuckled softly. "You'll have a hard time escaping that.", he said and nodded to Dorcas and Marlene, who were sitting on a bench on the other side of the courtyard holding hands. "God, that's awful.", Sirius moaned, wrinkling his nose and sagging against Peter.

"I also want to be able to snog my boyfriend.", he whined while Marlene whispered something in Dorcas' ear and the latter then started laughing. "Oh, I can take care of that for you when I meet him today.", James offered and then received two indignant looks at once. "Excuse you, you already have my little brother, Remus is absolutely taboo for you.", Sirius blurted out and Regulus eyed James as if he was planning how best to kill him and then get rid of the body. "I'm just kidding.", James laughed and planted a kiss on the back of Regulus' hand.

"Yeah, you better be.", he replied coldly, and James felt both intimidated and turned on, a combination of feelings that only Regulus could evoke in him. "Ohhh, can I please kiss you?", he begged and Regulus' ice melted away and the adorable blush crept back into his ivory skin. "B-But make it quick, okay?", he murmured and Sirius howled and buried his face in Peter's chest as James leaned towards Regulus with a grin, gently cupping his chin. It was really just a quick kiss, but even that was enough to knock James' heart out of rhythm.

He wanted more, always more and he didn't think that this kind of longing would ever come to an end.

"Well, now it's just a matter of Mary and Lily getting their sh*t together and then we'll each have our happy endings.", Peter said as James pulled away from Regulus, whose cheeks had turned crimson. "Oh dear, are they still not talking?", James sighed and Sirius, who had straightened up again, nodded. "Yeah, it's horrible. Like we're stuck in a creepy parallel universe.", he said, looking at Mary who was sitting alone under one of the apple trees and seemed kind of incomplete without Lily by her side.

She also hadn't told anyone about what happened after the party and why it was such a big deal to her, although maybe she should have, but now it felt like it was too late and Mary felt miserable. Just as miserable as Evan, who still hadn't managed to talk to Barty and who he hadn't seen since his hasty declaration of love. Well, if he was completely honest with himself he basically avoided him, but Barty hadn't contacted him either and that made it harder for Evan to take the first step.

"Have you talked to Evan yet?", Pandora asked, who was lying in his lap, her hair fanning out over his legs like fine threads of gold, shimmering in the sun pushing its way through the wispy clouds. "Uh...no.", Evan admitted contritely and looked away to the side. "I'm a coward..." "Nonsense.", Pandora replied, laughing, bright and clear, like the tinkling of a bluebell in spring. "You're not a coward and even if you were, you don't have to worry. Because I have a plan and soon things will be more than alright." Evan frowned sceptically but decided not to question it further as it was not uncommon for Pandora to make such statements and in most cases she was right.

And no one knew how she did it. Evan's theory was that she had a secret deal with fate itself, but maybe it was just her boundless optimism.

~***~

After the last bell finally freed them, James quickly said goodbye to his friends, stealing another kiss from Regulus and reminding them again not to put themselves in unnecessary danger, then sprinted towards the exit, but just before he could reach the stairs, someone stood in his way. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me...", James sighed as he looked into Snape's tense face, who looked like he had just bitten into a lemon. "We need to talk.", he gritted out and with a deep sigh, James followed him into the boys' loo.

"You know, as much as I enjoy our little rendezvous, I really have to..." "This isn't a joke, Potter! I'm warning you one last time. Quit playing the hero.", Snape hissed and tapped James on the chest. "Okay, you know what? I'm sick of this. That little blackmail thing of yours? Yeah, I'm done with that. So do it. Post the photos, I don't care. I really have better things to do than let you intimidate me, Snivellus.", he replied, batting Snape's hand away and storming out of the loo.

He had his doubts anyway if Snape really had the nerve to actually leak the photos or if it had been just a bluff all along, an empty threat to keep him in check, but the truth was, James wasn't scared anymore. He wasn't alone and he wasn't about to give up something that was so important because of someone like Snape. So he left the school, put on the suit and headed off to meet up with Remus.

Chapter 17

Chapter Text

Remus was waiting for him on the roof of the Panoramic, which had now become their official meeting place, and James suddenly wondered if he'd also been in class until just a moment ago. Or if he went to school at all. Remus hadn't said a word about it and James hadn't felt it his place to ask. Sure, he knew his mother had died a few years ago and that his father was ill, but otherwise James didn't know much about Remus, and he wasn't sure he had the right to ask for more. Which of course didn't stop his stupid golden retriever brain from blurting out said question the moment Remus noticed his presence.

"What school do you go to?", James wanted to know and bit down on his tongue instantly because...dear God, he really was a bit much sometimes, wasn't he? But Remus only tilted his head slightly and then laughed softly, his shoulders gently rocking up and down. "None, I'm homeschooled.", he replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "That way I can take better care of my dad and make sure he always takes his medication on time.", he continued and James nodded slowly. "Ah yeah...I see that makes sense.", he drawled, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"It's okay James, I don't mind talking about it.", Remus then replied with a shrug and James gave a nervous laugh. "Yeah I'm sorry...sometimes, my mouth is faster than my brain.", he joked awkwardly, rubbing his hands together for not knowing what else to do with them and when he started fearing that an awkward silence would stretch out between them, Remus pulled out his phone from one of the many pockets on his belt.

"So, the headquarters. My guess is that's where they're hiding, Abbey Mills Pumping Station. It was built between 1865 and 1868, but has sat empty since they built a newer, more modern facility in the late '90s.", he explained and showed James the pictures of the main building, which had Italian Gothic architecture typical for the 19th century. "It's also called 'The Cathedral of Sewage' and I think that's where they hide." "How did you find that out?", James asked, making no effort to hide the admiration in his voice.

"I've tracked their transports, those same black vans, they're actually quite distinctive and easily recognizable if you know what to look for. And no matter where they drive around town, that's where they always end up at the end of the day.", Remus answered and tapped the screen of his phone. "It's also worth noting that it was a popular lost place for tourists until a few months ago, but people have been avoiding it for a while now. Allegedly because it's in danger of collapsing, but I think this was a rumour spread on purpose so that no one uninvited would start sniffing around there and accidentally discover something."

"Well, then we should have a look, huh?", James suggested and Remus nodded. "It's our best shot right now.", he said, and together they made their way to Mill Meads. The almost ridiculously small fence was no real obstacle for either of them and then the yellowish brick facade loomed in front of them with an ornate little tower in the middle and pretty, delicately styled windows, so that the building didn't really give the impression of a sewage pumping station.

"Okay, I would figure just walking in the front door is a bad idea, so...roof?", James asked, looking at Remus. "Roof.", he agreed, and while James climbed up with his bare hands, Remus let himself be pulled up by his small grappling hook, with which he could move from point A to B almost as quickly as James. "Psst, Spidey!", Remus hissed as they passed the front of the building and James stopped. "Window. Open.", Remus communicated curtly, pointing to one of the tall windows, which was tilted open.

It gave a look inside into a flooded hall where green duckweed had already formed on the surface of the water and a faint musty smell hung in the air. "Go it.", James replied in a whisper and crawled through the narrow opening so that he could open it completely from the inside. Remus carefully rappeled down behind him and together they looked out over the long hall that stretched out before them, and all that could be heard was their breathing and the occasional dripping of water, echoing almost unnaturally loudly off the walls almost unnaturally loudly, that had seen better days.

"Okay, what now?", James asked quietly and Remus nodded towards the end of the hall where a narrow, rusty staircase meandered down the side. "There's a hallway that leads to the next complex. Let's go that way." And they did, finding themselves in an even larger hall, the domed roof supported by pillars and all decorated with stucco that looked far too fancy for this place. It was still quiet and James could hear his blood rushing through his veins and Remus' soles of his leather boots making tiny squeaking noises every time he took a step forward.

"It's either very good that no one seems to be here or very bad.", Remus whispered when James heard something, held a finger to his lips and steered to the left, where an octagonal hole in the ground surrounded by a steel railing offered a view of the lower floor, the arches between the pillars painted red and green with ornate carvings in the wood that might as well have been placed in a Tudor palace. James and Remus knelt by the railing and cautiously peered down and there, among the old pumps, a man was pacing up and down, slowly, without a rush.

He was very tall, lean, almost scrawny but still muscular enough, his frame angular but his movements oddly fluid. James could only see part of his face, but his skin was pale, almost unhealthily sallow, and his black hair streaked with grey was combed back. He had his hands clasped behind his back and didn't say a single word, yet it seemed as if he could effortlessly occupy the entire room with his presence. Around him stood the already familiar figures cloaked in black, their faces hidden by the silver masks, with one exception.

Bellatrix stood at the front, smiling with a mixture of reverence and unwavering respect, clearly admiring him unabashedly while her fellow members seemed to be paralyzed by fear. They had their eyes on the ground, their shoulders tensed and James wasn't even sure if they were breathing, they seemed so afraid of their boss, who now stopped and let out a soft breath that sounded like a hiss. "So, let's go over it again. Some of you seem to be having trouble remembering this really, really simple plan, which is unfortunately...extremely disappointing, but I'm feeling gracious today."

He was speaking calmly and composedly but the threat in his voice still couldn't be missed. It sent a shiver down James' spine and now the name, which he had previously found ridiculous, made a lot more sense. A man like him certainly didn't even fear death. "The bombs will be placed at strategic locations throughout the city. Under the Parliament, beneath bridges, in tunnels underground and so on. They will be detonated all at once and, I can't stress this enough, there will only be one master detonator and I will be the one to activate it."

Briefly stopping, he shot a sharp and pointed look at his minions and then continued. "I don't trust any of you pathetic useless nitwits to take on the importance of this task, so it will be me who pushes the button and throws London into chaos. The mere destruction is only the first part, what comes after is far worse." He smiled, something that looked twisted and utterly wrong on his long face, like he didn't know how to smile at all, and his thin lips curled oddly, giving James another wave of goosebumps.

"The poison. It will spread quickly, everywhere and it is our most powerful weapon. With it, we will first bring England to its knees and then the whole world.", he said, looking extremely pleased with himself while there were murmurs of approval coming from his followers. "So simple and yet so effective.", he then whispered more to himself before raising his head and literally freezing the others under his gaze. "The poison is fast-acting and aggressive, so don't forget to take a dose of the antidote. Otherwise, you'll perish along with the rest of this town."

Hesitant nods, an oppressive silence laced with a tension that was almost palpable, and the smell of fear was in the air. "We need that antidote.", Remus muttered and James nodded, standing up, leaning on the railing for support, suddenly making a loud metallic squeak and all eyes were immediately on him. Including a pair that were dark and bloodshot, and Remus grabbed James' arm. "Run." That was all he said before they rushed off, without a plan or knowing which way to go, and it was only a few seconds before footsteps echoed down the long corridors behind them.

"Where's the f*cking exit?!", Remus yelled as they ran down another endless hallway, splashing through puddles while a burst of maniacal laughter rang in their ears. "I don't know, but we...! Wait!" James stopped, almost falling over his own feet, and grabbed Remus. "What?! Now isn't the time to wait!", he growled impatiently, looking worriedly over his shoulder. Shadows approached them, growing rapidly up the tiled walls, but James didn't answer him, just dragged him along. It must have been sheer luck that during their escape they stumbled upon the room used to store the antidote, but...well, sometimes luck is just what you need.

"Holy sh*t...", Remus gasped and James couldn't help but grin. "Okay, grab a dose, I'll get us an exit." James nodded. "Alright." He pushed the lid off one of the boxes, grabbed one of the small glass vials in which a strange, golden liquid was sloshing back and forth, and then three loud shots almost ruptured his eardrums. Shards of glass tumbled to the floor with a clatter and Remus put a foot on the frame, his boots making a crunching noise. "Good, let's go.", he said and James didn't hesitate. He took a running start and jumped head-first out of the broken window, knowing that Remus would follow him.

They put about a mile between them and the Abbey Mills Pumping Station before pausing on the roof of the City West Tower, panting and gasping for air. "Okay, that was...damn close.", Remus wheezed, bracing himself on his thighs while James had just laid flat on his back and was now staring at the sky, waiting for his pulse to return to normal. "Bombs...all over the city and they will all go off at the same time. So many people will die, Remus...", he whispered, slowly realizing that they would never be able to save everyone since they couldn't be everywhere at once.

"Yes...unless we prevent the bombs from detonating in the first place.", Remus replied and James swallowed, tasted iron on his tongue and closed his eyes. "We would have to get to the main detonator for that and that's going to be bloody difficult." "Difficult for sure, but not impossible.", Remus said and sat down next to James. "Still, the risk of failure is too great, we need a backup plan. Something that works if we can't stop the bombs from detonating." "I mean...we have the antidote...", Remus remarked and James' grip on the small vial tightened.

Not enough. Not nearly enough...

"We'd have to replicate it, enough to immunize an entire city." Remus laughed dryly. "Just as if not more difficult than Plan A, but we don't have anything better." "Hm, only one problem remains...", James mumbled and blinked open his eyes. Remus looked down at him, raised an eyebrow and brushed his slightly sweaty curls from his forehead. "What problem?" "Well, if you haven't kept from me that you have a knack for chemistry, then I don't see how we're going to make millions out of this one dose.", James explained, sounding a lot more sarcastic than he intended.

But this was bigger than both of them, maybe too big and if they failed then the end result would be literally the f*cking end of the world. Talk about carrying a bigass burden... "sh*t...I guess you don't happen to know someone who is into chemistry that could help us?", Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and James buried his face in his hands. "No, I..." But then he paused because the truth was: Yes, of course, he knew someone. Unfortunately, it was someone he really, really, really didn't want to ask.

"What is it?" Remus asked, noticing James staring into space and James let out a frustrated groan. Hell, that was the one thing he had sworn to himself, the one thing that mattered, the one rule he couldn't ever break, and now he had no choice. James wanted to pull his hair out and bang his head against the ground until he saw a better way, an alternative, but he already knew there wasn't one and that finding someone else would take too much time. Time they didn't have and James gritted his teeth, wanting to yell at the sky and ask the universe if this was another one of those cosmic jokes he didn't get because he was the f*cking punch line.

He'd always believed that karma was a real thing, that there was such a thing as equitable justice, but he was starting to feel like it was happening to him and that maybe he had been a real asshole in his previous life so that fate paid him back twice and threefold for everything now. "James." Remus put a hand on his shoulder and James looked up, helpless, begging that Remus might offer him another option, but apparently, his luck had run out for the day.

"Regulus, Sirius' younger brother. He...he's really good at chemistry, he loves it, which I always found kind of weird but also endearing and...what I'm trying to say is...he could do it. He could replicate the antidote.", James explained, and a deep worry line creased Remus' forehead. "f*ck..." James nodded tiredly and wanted to curl up, but he couldn't hide and whine about how the world was unfair because he was trying to save that very world. "I-I'm sorry James. I wish we had time to find someone else who could do this.", Remus said and James struggled to his feet.

"Yeah, me too.", he replied and put his mask back on. He had to be smart about it, not making a single mistake, no matter how small, because it could cost Regulus his life if he got too deeply involved in the whole thing. There was no way the Death Eaters could find out that it was he who was reproducing the antidote because that would automatically make him a target and James wanted to avoid that at all costs. But the worst part was that he knew that Regulus wouldn't hesitate for a second and would say yes immediately.

Because he had a good heart, because he was a better person than he gave himself credit for.

James and Remus made their way unobtrusively through a window into the stairwell and as they stood in front of the door and rang the bell, a muffled rumble could be heard inside, followed by stifled cursing and malicious laughter. Two bickering voices quickly approached the door and then they stood face to face with the Black brothers, who seemed surprised and a little overwhelmed to see James and Remus together. And in full gear, because they hadn't bothered to take off their suits in between. It was sure to be a long night.

"H-Hey, what are you doing here? You alright?", Sirius asked, leaning on the door frame and Remus sighed. "Not really." "Come in." Sirius stepped aside and Remus walked past him, but James hesitated and only when Regulus reached out his hand did he force himself to cross the threshold. What he was about to ask of Regulus wasn't okay. It was dangerous and risky, and the quandary James found himself in threatened to tear him apart. "Okay, what's up?" Sirius sat on the edge of the sofa, hands in his lap while Remus stood, nervously twitching a foot.

"We've found the headquarters and we now know the details of their plan. To make a long story short, it looks really bad. They've planted bombs all over the city that will not only cause immense damage if they explode but will also release a poison. And there will only be one central detonator and that's owned by the boss of the group." "sh*t, that does sound really bad...", Sirius murmured, swallowing nervously.

"Yeah, and the only way we can stop this is to invade their headquarters a second time and somehow get our hands on the detonator. Which is pretty much impossible because there are too many of them and there's only the two of us, but...there's no other way.", James continued, biting his lower lip and avoiding meeting Regulus' gaze, who eyed him with growing concern.

"We have a backup plan, but that won't be easy to pull off either..." Remus glanced quickly between James and Regulus, waiting to see if he should break the bad news or if James would. Instead, silence fell over the living room. "So...what's this Plan B?", Sirius finally wanted to know and Remus opened his mouth to answer when James got there first. "We were able to swipe a dose of the antidote, but for the plan to work we need to be able to reproduce it and..." James' eyes warily, almost in slow motion, wandered over to Regulus, who looked like he was holding his breath.

But he also looked like he already knew what James was about to ask him. And on his face was the answer. "Reggie...I know I said I don't want you involved in any way because I don't want to put you in unnecessary danger, but...I need your help. Literally, the whole city needs you and I...I know how much that's asking and I'm so sorry that I have to ask you at all, but there's no other way..." James rushed over the words, trying to get them out as quickly as possible while clenching his hands into fists because all he wanted was to take Regulus into his arms, keep him safe, protect him, always and forever.

He wanted to wrap around him, shield him, take him away from all the things out there that could hurt him and make him happy for the rest of their days. Give him all the love he had to offer until there was nothing more left, until all of him belonged to Regulus, until even his soul, his very existence was something that Regulus could hold between his fingers. "I'll do it.", Regulus said and James briefly closed his eyes. He had expected it, but he would have preferred Regulus to have refused. It would be safer for him.

"I'll help you wherever I can." Regulus stood and grabbed James' hands. "I know you don't like it, but like you said...there's no other way." "Oi, I don't like this either.", Sirius piped up and Regulus rolled his eyes. "Yes, but just because you're my older brother doesn't mean you have the right to make any decisions for me. I'll do it, I'll replicate the antidote." Gently squeezing James' hands, Regulus looked up at him, his eyes unwavering, the eyes of a soldier who was ready to charge into battle and James pulled him to his chest, never having felt more love for him because Regulus was simply amazing.

"I should be able to find everything I need in the lab at school.", Regulus murmured as James weaved his fingers through his hair. "Yes, but you'll need someone to help you get in. I won't be able to do it. Remus and I will be otherwise busy.", James mused and Sirius, still sitting on the sofa, looked up. "Then let Barty accompany him. Surely he knows how to pick a lock." "Barty? Are you sure we want to involve him in this whole thing?", Regulus asked, slowly pushing away from James, who couldn't help a short, cynical snort.

"Believe me, he's already a lot more involved than you might think.", he chuckled and Regulus raised an eyebrow in doubt. "Okay, so we've got someone to get Regulus into the lab, perfect. Then we shouldn't wait any longer.", Remus said and James nodded. "Yeah, we're running out of time. I'll meet you later, once I've dropped Reg and Barty off at school.", he replied, already pulling his mask over his face and walking to the window. "I'll try to wait for you. And then we'll get this detonator." Remus' brows were drawn together, but he seemed less concerned than determined, and James opened one of the windows.

"We're gonna save the world, piece of cake, eh?" He held out his thumb to Remus and then pulled Regulus towards him by the waist. "W-Wait, we're not taking the stairs?", he asked, clutching James' neck and James laughed. "Nope." "Hold on tight, Reggie.", Sirius smirked, and though Regulus managed to glare at him, his voice cracked, culminating in a high-pitched scream as James threw himself out of the window with him in his arms. Remus watched them go, saw them swing away between the urban canyons until they were just a small, dwindling dot and finally disappeared entirely in the glow of early dusk.

"Well I guess I should be on my way then.", Remus said as Sirius suddenly jumped up, all the mirth gone from his pretty face that was now twisted with something so indescribable sad that it threatened to break Remus' heart. "Let me come with you." And in any other situation, at any other time, Remus would have said yes, would have promised Sirius that he could accompany him anywhere, to the end of time itself, always by his side, but not tonight. "You know you can't.", he whispered softly and he could see that Sirius knew too.

"I don't want you to have to go alone, though.", he replied, his lower lip trembling, his hands trying to reach out, pleading and Remus took a step back, knowing he wouldn't stand a chance once Sirius would be close enough. "You can't accompany me, not there. That would be too dangerous." "And you think you can decide that for me?", Sirius asked, frowning, sounding slightly annoyed now. Remus laughed dryly. "Yeah, I think I can. You can't defend yourself, you don't know how to use a gun and I would just be busy watching over you and I can't afford that."

"Oh so I would be a burden to you, huh?", Sirius snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and Remus ogled him, unable to comprehend that they were actually having this kind of conversation right now. "Sirius, my concern is that I would put your safety above the success of James' and my mission and I cannot take responsibility for that. There are too many lives at stake.", he tried to explain and the anger on Sirius' face changed into frustration. "And what about your life? Who protects you?", he sighed and Remus felt like someone had just punched him in the chest.

Knocking all the air out of his lungs because that's what Sirius was doing to him. He left him breathless and Remus didn't know what to do, for Sirius found it so frighteningly easy to just disarm him, leaving Remus standing naked and vulnerable in front of him, revealing every scar and imperfection, writhing beneath Sirius' piercing looks that seemed to bore into his very core. "You're worried about me...", he whispered and Sirius sobbed. "Of course! You could die today and I...I don't want to sit here and wait for you not to come back. I don't want to be useless, I want..."

"Sirius, you're not useless. Just because you exist you make my whole life better so I have the best reason not to die. You. Because when this is all over I want to come back to you and kiss you and be your boyfriend.", Remus interrupted him, crossed the distance between them and closed his fingers around Sirius' wrists. His lovely, lovely wrists... "And I want to be with you, so please don't leave me here. Please...", Sirius begged and Remus knew he might hate himself for that decision in a few hours, but if he really did die today then Sirius would be with him.

And if you put it that way, there really were worse ways to go if the last thing he would ever see would be those beautiful sapphire eyes. "Okay, but you have to promise me that you'll do what I tell you. If I say hide, then you hide. If I say run, then you run. And if I say flee and leave me behind, then you will do that. Got it?" He had rested his forehead against Sirius', who now nodded frantically. "I promise."

"Alright..." Remus closed his eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn't regret this. "Let's go then." Placing two fingers beneath Sirius' chin, he gently tilted his head back and kissed him, deep, lips parting, their breaths getting caught in each other's throats. Sirius tasted sweet as if his tongue was laced with honey, every little moan escaping his mouth an oath that there would always be more that Remus could take. As they broke apart, Remus walked up to the roof holding hands with Sirius and from there they disappeared into what would soon be a dark night over London.

~***~

When James showed up at Barty's door with Regulus, Barty first slammed it shut immediately, then asked through it if Spider-Man was going to take him to the police after all, then skillfully ignored Regulus' question as to why the police would want him and then asked himself why Regulus was in Spider-Man's company. And since James hadn't had any patience or any form of restraint at that moment, he'd just forced the door open with sheer strength.

Barty, with very colourful use of his vocabulary, had complained about it before Regulus had smacked him on the back of the head and explained why they were here in the first place. Of course, Barty had thought it was a joke at first, admittedly a very bad one, but a joke nonetheless, but after studying Regulus' stoic expression closely, he had concluded that the fate of the entire city was indeed at stake. And then he had been extremely proud of the fact that his help was needed and if Regulus hadn't hissed at him to shut up, James probably would have done it.

Swinging from building to building with two people at once was a challenge, but with Regulus perched on his back like a monkey and Barty clutching his waist in panic, he'd somehow managed. The landing in front of the school was a bit shaky and Barty landed a little hard on his knees, but they made it and that was all that mattered. "Well, make sure nobody sees you and Barty...please don't try to steal anything and don't break anything on purpose, okay?", James admonished and Barty gasped, visibly appalled.

"Spidey?! How little do you think of me?", he whimpered in mock hurt and James wanted to facepalm himself. "Listen, I don't really trust you, but this isn't a game. I need your help and I want to be able to rely on you, okay?" James put a hand on Barty's shoulder, who gaped at him like it was the first time someone had told him they'd like to count on him and swallowed hard. "Yep, got it.", he replied, slightly raspy, and James nodded, turning to Regulus. "I know you can do this. You're smart, but be careful, okay?"

"Funny you're the one telling me that. After all, it's you who's about to take on a whole bunch of fanatical lunatics.", Regulus muttered and James put his hand against his cheek, the tips of his fingers resting at the exact spot where his dimples were hidden, only coming out to shine when he smiled or laughed. James loved them. And he loved Regulus. "Take care, yeah?" Regulus leaned into the touch and James nodded. "I'll be back before you can miss me." "I doubt it." Regulus pushed James' mask up over his chin just enough for him to kiss him.

It could have been a thousand kisses and yet it would've never been enough, and Regulus clung to James, wanting to hold him for as long as possible and when they finally pulled apart it hurt. And then James was gone and it was quiet...at least until Barty cleared his throat unnecessarily loudly. "Soooo...are we going to talk about how grossly cheesy that was and the fact that you f*cking kissed Spider-Man or are we going to ignore it?", he drawled and Regulus turned around, his face a fortress of calmness and composition.

"Come on, we've got stuff to do.", he said, and Barty laughed, barking and loud before starting to fiddle with the school gate. "You know, Evan would certainly throw a fit if he knew what we're doing here.", he joked, but Regulus heard the slight strain in his voice as he said Evan's name. "But to be honest I never thought there would come a day when I would break into my old school. I have to say I'm a bit excited.", Barty then continued and Regulus rolled his eyes. "Just open the bloody gate, Barty. We don't have all night."

Chapter 18

Chapter Text

In the end, it didn't matter if it was some stupid coincidence or just bad luck, but when James reached the old pumping station he was alone and Remus was nowhere to be seen. "f*ck..." James could only hope that nothing bad had happened to Remus and that he had only been stopped because he urgently needed to help someone else, but whatever the case, it didn't change the fact that he had no way to contact him now. And to wait any longer would be taking a great risk. A risk James couldn't afford, so he took a deep breath and then did something very brave, but also very stupid at the same time.

He scaled the fence and gained access to the main building and yes, the little voice in the back of his head yelled at him that it was dangerous to act on his own now, but every minute counted and James simply couldn't let down all the many people who lived in London. "Stop fidgeting around, there's nothing to worry about. Everything is going exactly according to plan." It was Bellatrix's voice that gave James the direction he needed and climbing the ceiling as quietly as possible he got into the room where all the big pumps were.

Silent behemoths of iron covered in brown rust and Bellatrix leaning against one of them, facing three other fellow members. "All we have to do is wait and see.", she cackled happily, her shoulders shaking making her wild, black curls bounce and James took a deep breath. "Mind if I wait with you guys?", he asked, dangling upside down from the ceiling and Bellatrix spun around, angrily glaring at him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "You again!", she hissed and James shrugged. "Sorry, can't help it. Now, if any of you would be so kind as to tell me where I can find your boss, I'd be really grateful."

"We're not going to tell you anything, you filthy worthless bastard!", Bellatrix screeched and James gasped in disgust. "What kind of manners are these?", he asked in mock shock and flopped down, landing on one of the pumps with a loud thud and Bellatrix clenched her hands into fists. "I wouldn't have such a big mouth if I were you.", she snapped, pulling out two knives, flipping them around and James didn't doubt for a second that she knew exactly how to use them.

"Sorry, looks like a bad habit on my part.", James replied, then pushed off the lid of the large pump, flipping through the air and kicking one of the other three henchmen straight to the ground, sending him head-first into the concrete floor. "Okay, who's next?" James had hardly spoken the question when he ducked a wild swing from the left, skidded on his knees across the ground, which was still wet in some places, and then narrowly dodged the swipe of one of Bellatrix's knives, nearly missing his throat.

Pushing himself up with both hands, James managed to kick Bellatrix away from him, causing her to stagger backwards a few feet and hitting her back against the metal railing that fenced off access down to the lower level. At the same time, James felt the familiar tickle of his spider-sense on the back of his neck, turned around and grabbed his attacker's wrist, twisting his arm behind his back and making short work of headbutting him, causing the guy to collapse with a groan.

Which, aside from Bellatrix, left just one more and said bloke had made absolutely no move to attack James and looked more like he wanted to run away. "Get him now you ridiculous coward!", Bellatrix screamed, still trying to get to her feet and whether it was out of fear of her or what his boss would do to him should he find out about his failure, the guy moved towards James. James dodged the hesitant and far too weak right hook with ease, grabbed his opponent's shoulder and ripped the mask off his face and...

"Snivellus?!", James blurted out, paralyzed for a moment, struck by pure disbelief so that he almost let go of Snape. "You joined the Death Eaters?! Really? You?", he asked perplexed and Snape, gritting his teeth, tried to wriggle out of James' grip, but he wouldn't let go. "You're the biggest wimp I know, what made you think that this would change anything, huh?", James growled, his initial confusion now turning to anger as he finally understood why Snape had asked him to stop playing the hero.

"I just wanted..." "What? Not to feel so useless anymore? Get revenge on me? Whatever your motivation, it doesn't change the fact that you're a nasty, inferior, little co*ckroach.", James snarled and tightened his grip on Snape. "Now tell me where your boss is or I'll break your skull in." Snape swallowed audibly, staring at him anxiously out of his large, empty beady eyes and briefly James wondered if perhaps he had gone too far, but he had no room for doubts right now. Not when the stakes were so high.

"Don't you dare tell him anything!", Bellatrix spat, but Snape only let out a low whimper as James shoved his back roughly against one of the pumps. "H-He's up front, in the entryway.", he replied shakily, and Bellatrix let out a groan of frustration that sounded more like a fury's scream. "Thanks for the info, Snivellus." James threw him to the ground and he landed on his chest, and had it not been for Bellatrix throwing herself at him at that moment, James might not have missed the soft, metallic crunch, but when Bellatrix's fingernails dug into his shoulders it immediately drew in all of his attention.

"You won't be able to stop it, you'll be too late.", she whispered menacingly in his ear while James tried to throw her off him, which he finally managed to do, but in the same breath, he felt a sharp burning sensation between his upper ribs. "What the...?!" James pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the sharp pain and something warm between his fingers. "Hurts, huh?", Bellatrix smirked, raising one of her knives that was now covered in blood. "I've had worse than this.", James ground out, trying to take a deep breath, but it felt like someone had suddenly filled his lungs with shards of glass.

"Oh, I'm not talking about the wound itself, little boy. I'm talking about what's coursing through your veins right now.", Bellatrix replied gleefully, a mad glint in her dark eyes and James realised. "You laced the blade with a position..." "Hm, I did and not just any poison darling, the very poison that's going to devour this whole city in less than an hour.", Bellatrix continued, giggling, prancing around him and James, despite the pain that threatened to take hold, reached out and with a single, well-placed shot of his webs, pinned her to one of the pumps.

The knife fell from her hand and clattered to the ground. "No! Argh, that's not going to help you now either! You're going to die, like millions more!", she shrieked, tearing at the web that had her wrist and part of her forearm sticking to the rusty, iron surface of the pump. "We'll see about that.", James muttered, straightening up though his muscles struggled and then he ran back the way he'd come, praying Snape was telling the truth. In the large entrance hall, where everything was done in sickly green tones and the black sky could be seen through the glass roof, there was no one.

No one, except for a tall, slender figure who was leaning perfectly composed against one of the white pillars, almost as if he had waited for James. "Ah, I was expecting you to show up here sooner or later, Spider-Man.", he said, sounding almost a little amused, which irritated James beyond measure, but maybe it was just the poison that was slowly clouding his mind. "Well, I'm incorrigible. I can't resist playing the hero, even if others tell me not to.", James replied and tried to stand firm, but his blood pounded in his ears, his pulse booming through his body and the pain made it difficult to concentrate.

"Well, that noble attitude of yours is indeed very commendable, but unfortunately also very foolish. Because there is nothing you can do that will change the outcome of tonight.", Voldemort explained calmly, his hands coming out from behind his back and in his hand the detonator, the master key that could stop all of this. "I mean, you can try, but your failure is still certain." "Yeah well...I'd rather judge that for myself.", James ground out and raised his fists, drawing a sneer from Voldemort and then the hall was flooded by a horde of his henchmen.

James sighed because...of course, it would have been too good to be true. "Okay, who wants to go first?" And any other day James would have seen it as a challenge, maybe even enjoyed it and cracked a joke here and there, but there were just too many of them and the injury was slowing him down and he wasn't so dumb that he would've tried to convince himself that he was going to make it somehow. James was hopelessly outmatched, but he still wasn't going to give up. If the world was going to end, then he wanted to at least be able to claim that he had given it his all.

"Seems like this is the end for you today, Spider-Man.", James heard Voldemort echoing from somewhere because he couldn't see him, surrounded by too many fists, all of them pounding him relentlessly and without pause and he was on the verge of losing consciousness when there was a loud clinking noise and glass rained down on them. It took James a moment to realize that it wasn't something that had come to finish him off, but the cavalry that had finally arrived to help him. And to save him.

Remus stood there, weapons drawn, ready to do whatever it took to turn the tides and a wave of relief washed over James. At least until he spotted Sirius in the midst of the chaos and for a brief moment James hoped he had just suffered a really nasty concussion and was now starting to hallucinate, but then Sirius ran towards him. "sh*t, are you hurt?!", he asked worried, grabbing James by the shoulders and pulling him to an upright position. "Sirius...what the f*ck are you doing here?", James heaved, unable to sound as pissed off as he would have liked and Sirius looked at him like that was the dumbest question he'd ever been asked.

"I'm here to help, silly.", he replied as if it were completely self-evident. "How are you going to help?", James asked, letting out a sharp gasp the next moment as Sirius pressed his jacket to his chest. "By making sure you don't die, you idiot.", he snapped and James clung to Sirius' arm. "You want to help? Okay. Then listen to me now. Once Remus has the detonator he'll throw it to you and you'll have to deactivate the bombs, understood? And then you'll have to run really far away from this place.", he explained hastily, because he wasn't sure how much time he had before he would inevitably pass out.

Sirius nodded. "Catch the detonator, deactivate the bombs, run away. Got it." James put his hand over Sirius' who was still holding the jacket over his wound. "I'm glad you're here..." His gaze darted to Remus, who had pretty much single-handedly eliminated the rest of the henchmen James had left, and a certain satisfaction overcame him when he saw that Voldemort didn't look so smug anymore and for a split second he was convinced that everything would be fine. But then a gunshot ripped through the air, blood and brain spattering the white pillars, and Remus sagged to the ground like a puppet with the strings cut.

It happened so fast, no one said anything, no one moved, Sirius had his mouth slightly open, a silent scream caught in his throat and even the remaining three guys who were still standing stared at the body that was now lying face down on the ground with an extremely large pool of blood slowly forming around it. "It's a pity really, he was a talented lad, but unfortunately also extremely annoying.", Voldemort sighed, dropping the gun, wrinkling his nose and wiping his hands on his black suit. James blinked, trying to take in what seemed so terribly surreal as Sirius began to tremble next to him.

The shock stretched on cruelly, time itself seemed to slow down, and then...it just continued on as normal, as if nothing had happened, because with a soft groan, Remus sat up and rubbed his head as if he had just received a light hit. "How are you...? Why...?" Voldemort's pale face turned even paler and he took a step back unsteadily while his remaining followers exchanged glances as if silently wondering what to do next. "Ugh, that hurts every time...", Remus grumbled, rocking his head from side to side, his neck cracking softly and then he unsheathed the katanas that usually rested on his back, waiting to be used. "So where were we?"

Needless to say, the three guys immediately fled and ran away. "How are you still alive?!", Voldemort rumbled, now annoyed and Remus turned to him. "Oh it's actually quite simple.", he said, tapping his temple. "I have super strong healing powers because I'm a mutant. Pretty cool, huh?" And before Voldemort could reply, Remus threw one of the katanas and pinned Voldemort against the small, wooden house that stood in the middle of the hall and had probably once served as a kind of information booth.

"May I?" Remus took the detonator from Voldemort, which he was still clutching, and tossed it to Sirius. "Press the red button." Sirius didn't hesitate a second and pushed the button, the detonator beeped and then the menacing red blinking stopped. "We did it.", Sirius said, turning to James, who nodded weakly. "sh*t, we have to get you to Regulus immediately. He has the antidote." "Yep, that's what I thought too.", James mumbled and let Sirius help him up. "Can you do this on your own? I think I need to clean this up a bit.", Remus said and James made a dismissive gesture.

"Sure, I'm not an immortal mutant, but I still won't die that easily, don't worry.", he replied and Remus smiled apologetically at him. James tied Sirius' jacket tightly around him, took a deep breath, and then bent his knees slightly to muster enough strength to jump through the hole in the glass roof and make his way back to Pimlico Academy. "So you're a mutant, huh?", Sirius asked and Remus scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Yes, I uh...sorry, I didn't tell you sooner but to be honest, it's not exactly something I peddle.", he admitted and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Holy sh*t, I'm not mad that you didn't tell me, Remus. I'm just damn glad it's the way it is. For a solid minute, I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you and..." Sirius' voice trailed off, the sentence drowned in a silent sob and then the tears came rushing in. Remus immediately pulled him into his arms and hugged him to his chest. "I know...I'm sorry I scared you like that, but I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me.", he whispered, stroking Sirius' hair while Sirius cried silently into his shoulder and let him hold him.

Remus wasn't sure how long they stood there, clinging to each other, but it didn't matter and then he heard Sirius mumble something unintelligible. "What was that, love?", he asked, gently pushing Sirius away from him a bit, who was sniffing up and his eyes were slightly red. "I said I think I love you.", he replied nasally and Remus' face split into a grin, so wide he could feel it stretching from ear to ear. "You think you love me?", he repeated, not because he hadn't understood, but because he was dying to hear it from Sirius again.

"Yeah...is that weird? I know we haven't known each other that long, but...seeing you lying there and thinking that I've lost you forever..." "No, it's not weird.", Remus cut him off instantly, placing both hands on his cheeks. "I think I love you too.", he said and Sirius' teary eyes lit up, two stars burning brighter than ever and Remus fell, fell deep into what was Sirius' lovely soul, entangling himself in the strings of his very being, willingly letting himself be pulled down to his core.

Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius', his laughter on his lips and he was about to kiss him when suddenly everything went dark. Yes, maybe it had been foolish to turn his back on the bad guy too soon and not pay attention to what was happening while he was caught up with Sirius, but still, that turn of events felt like a punch in the stomach. Or...well, more like a bullet to the brain in this case, but when Remus woke up Sirius was gone, as was Voldemort and where he had left him, there was now just the katana stuck in the wood, a bit of black fabric hanging on it with a tiny bit of blood on its blade.

"No..." Remus got to his feet and immediately ran outside, but no one was there. And he probably would have lost his mind in desperation, because exactly what he had feared had happened, had it not turned out at the same time that Voldemort apparently had a flair for the dramatic. Remus' phone vibrated and it was the same number he had originally received orders to kill James from. Except that now the message didn't have a name and an amount of money there, just coordinates.

Coordinates that led Remus to Tower Bridge and if it hadn't been for Sirius he would surely have scoffed at the choice of this location for the showdown. But this wasn't a movie, this was reality and Remus would rather blow his own skull out ten times than risk even a scratch or bruise on Sirius' body. Because it was his fault. He'd agreed to take him, knowing how dangerous it would be, knowing the risk, and now... Remus' mind was constantly circling around the one thing the wording of which he refused to mentally form, because then it would become real and the idea of Sirius...

No. Stop. Stop thinking about it. You have to concentrate. He needs you now.

213 feet above the raging waters of the Thames, the wind was tearing at the flag of the British Empire and Remus had the city below him, the night sky above him filled with countless stars, but the one star that counted stood before him, a gun pressed to his head. "Let him go!", Remus shouted, hands in the air, but Voldemort just grimaced. "And why would I do that, huh? Why would I give up my trump card?" "Because it's over, your plan didn't work. So why continue? It's pointless, you lost.", Remus replied, taking a tiny step forward.

"Yes, you foiled the plan, that's true, but there's one thing you haven't considered, my boy. I may no longer be able to destroy the world, but I still have the power to destroy your world. By killing him." Voldemort pressed the muzzle of the gun against Sirius' temple, fear written all over his face, but he didn't whimper, didn't make a single sound. He just looked at Remus, pleading, silently begging. "And you think shooting him will bring you the satisfaction you're looking for? One life as a substitute for millions?", Remus asked, slowly lowering his hands and for a moment Voldemort actually looked thoughtful.

"You know...actually..." He glanced back and forth between Sirius and Remus, then tossed the gun away, grabbed Sirius by the throat and with a powerful shove pushed him to the edge of the bridge's arm on which they stood. "No!" "One more move and I'll drop him. If he's lucky he'll land in the water and maybe survive or he'll be unlucky and hit the road, then you can scrape the rest of the concrete." Voldemort's bloodshot eyes didn't leave Remus for even a second, while Sirius tried to cling to his outstretched arm, the soles of his shoes barely making contact with the steel sheeting they were standing on.

He could slip and fall at any moment or Voldemort would drop him and then... "Please...don't hurt him.", Remus whispered and Voldemort co*cked his head to the side. "See, that's the problem with you heroes. You have a heart and a heart is vulnerable, it's a weak point. And heroes always try to play fair and that...that's why you always end up losing. You just aren't able to do what it takes." He pushed Sirius, just a tiny bit, but it was enough that he slipped a foot and Remus' heart skipped a beat. He had to act now and he had to be fast and not make a mistake.

"You're right. Honour is what often stands in the way of heroes. Luckily...I'm not a hero." Voldemort narrowed his eyes, trying to understand what Remus' words meant, but by then it had already happened. Rolling forward, Remus snatched the gun Voldemort had dropped, he pulled the trigger, but before the bullet pierced his jaw, his fingers loosened around Sirius' throat and he fell. Remus didn't wait to see Voldemort collapse, instead he jumped, diving deep straight for the rippling surface of the water, one hand outstretched.

And rather than everything moving very quickly, the seconds ticked by slowly and Remus could watch Sirius approach the river, and he knew if he didn't reach him in time he would hit the water with his back first and...and he would probably not survive it. Feet turned to inches and Remus prayed to whoever might be watching up there that he wouldn't mess it up, that he would get hold of Sirius' hand, would catch him and that he would be safe in his arms. Please don't let him die... It was the only thought that had room in his head right now, the only wish that made his heart almost burst and then he felt Sirius' fingertips brush the palm of his hand and he grabbed it.

At the same time, he shot up his grappling hook, which dug into the rock somewhere on the side of the bridge and they stopped. The sudden loss of momentum was so severe that Remus felt his shoulder dislocate, forcefully wrenched from its joint, and he cried out because even though his wounds were healing incredibly fast, it still hurt like hell. The wind swept around his head, the city lights rushed past his eyes in a blur, and then they slammed into the bridge tower. Muscles and tendons groaned and Remus' vision blurred briefly, black dots dancing through the air, but he pulled himself together.

He couldn't faint, not now. "sh*t..." Remus looked up, forcing his thumb to move and press the little button that set the winch for the wire rope in motion, and while it whirred softly, they were pulled up and then Remus was back on solid ground. He swayed to his knees and a body slumped against his, black hair spilling over his red suit like ink and the headlights of the cars and the loud honking around them went dull. Remus stared at Sirius, who lay limp in his lap, eyes closed, face half hidden by his hair.

"Sirius?" Remus didn't realize at first that it was his own voice, brittle and weak, carried away by the wind, scattered in the air. He didn't hear the screams of angry drivers and the world around him was shrouded in a murky haze, faded into the background and all that he could see and feel was Sirius, who was unconscious and didn't move. "No, no, no, no...please. Don't do this to me..." He gently stroked Sirius' forehead and cheek, pressed him against his chest and it was as if someone had pulled the rug from under his feet.

Forever spiralling down a dark abyss that had no end, an eternal never-ending fall into the yawning void. As if someone had turned off the light in his universe... "Remus?" A hand gently cupped his cheek and despite the fabric covering his face, Remus felt the familiar warmth spreading through his skin and he burst into tears. "Sirius!" Remus immediately ripped the mask off his head and kissed Sirius, who blinked at him a little blankly but then kissed back, melting into it and Remus held him, feeling that he was alive and still with him.

"You thought I was...?" "Yeah, I did. And those were the most awful seconds of my entire life." Remus rubbed his thumb across Sirius' lower lip and Sirius smiled. "Well I guess we're even now, huh?", he joked and Remus laughed while tears were still streaming down his face. "Yes, we're even now.", he said and kissed Sirius again. "God, I definitely love you...so much." Sirius grinned, that disarmingly charming grin that had planted itself right in his heart the first time Remus saw it and he was sure he would be obsessed with this boy for the rest of his life.

"Then we can start planning what we're going to do on our first official date, huh?", Sirius suggested and Remus nodded. "Sounds good." He didn't say that that one sentence sounded like the start of a brand new life but Remus was sure that Sirius still knew exactly what this meant for both of them and that without much effort he had turned Remus' entire world upside down in the best way possible.

~***~

Fifty-five minutes had never seemed that long to James, and as he staggered through the hallways of his school crying out Regulus' name, he couldn't even remember how he'd even made it this far without collapsing. Probably because his healing powers were constantly fighting the poison in his body, but couldn't completely overcome it and that's why he had lasted so long. But now his limbs felt increasingly heavier, his senses were failing him bit by bit, and James wasn't entirely sure if he was actually calling out to Regulus anymore, or if he was only imagining it.

As he hit the linoleum floor lengthways, James was only marginally aware of it, long gone from feeling the pain that had turned into some kind of dull throbbing, and as his mind slowly drifted into unconsciousness, he dreamed of Regulus calling his name and pulling him into his arms. Except it wasn't a dream as James realized when Regulus gave him a good slap in the face. "James! Come on, you have to stay awake!", he yelled and James frowned slightly, wanting to complain about the slap, but his tongue was numb and honestly, Regulus could slap him again at any time.

And James wasn't ashamed of that thought because hey, he was about to die so it sure was okay to think something like that. "I swear to God if you die now I won't show up at your funeral.", Regulus snapped, but there was a hidden whimper in his voice that sounded suspiciously like a stifled sob, and though James didn't have the strength for opening his eyes, it broke his heart to know Regulus was crying. He would have loved to comfort him, but he was so tired and he wanted nothing more than to rest now, even if it meant never waking up again.

Was that selfish? Perhaps. But he was with Regulus, in his arms, and James wasn't afraid.

"Come on...please..." Regulus's nose touched his, he kissed his forehead and then just before everything went dark, a flash of light shot through James' body and he scrambled to his feet because all of a sudden his heart was beating way too fast and everything was so much, the world was crashing down on him and he didn't even notice that he was screaming until the first wave slowly subsided and his pulse normalized a little bit. "James, it's okay! You're fine, do you hear me? Everything's fine, you're with me."

Regulus stood in front of him, grasping his hands and James clung to him, his anchor, his rock amongst the crashing sea, his guiding star in the firmament that was always there, always showing him which way to go and never leaving him. "Yes, I...I'm fine.", James gasped and then noticed the slightly uncomfortable pricking in his upper arm. "Oh..." "Oops, sorry." Regulus pulled the syringe from his arm, James winced slightly and then Regulus was all over him, covering his face in kisses, and his lips were wet and salty because he was still crying but it was okay.

James kissed him back as best he could and it was messy and chaotic but he was happy, and Regulus babbled something that sounded like 'I love you' so James said it back and Regulus sobbed into the kisses he was still determined on giving him. Neither of them really noticed that Barty, standing at the end of the hall, was watching them, a small smile on his face, although his mind was elsewhere.

After Regulus had calmed down, they called Sirius, who reassured them that despite the minor incident at Tower Bridge, they were fine, everyone was unharmed and alive, and that it was finally over now. They actually did it. "Okay, I'll take Sirius home now.", Remus said over the speaker and James nodded. "Alright, I'll take Barty back to his flat and then..." "Actually, could you drop me off somewhere else?", Barty interjected and James frowned. "Um...sure, where?" "Never mind, I'll give you the address then.", Barty waved him off and James shrugged. "Alright."

"Good, I'll see you later, Reggie. Bye." Sirius hung up and there was a brief silence before James' phone rang again. "Oh dear..." A big lump formed in James' throat when he saw the name on the display, but ignoring the call would only make it worse, so he took a deep breath and answered it. "Yes?" "James Fleamont Potter, where the hell are you?!", Effie yelled angrily and James nearly dropped his phone in shock.

"Mum, I..." "Oh no, I don't want to hear any excuses, young man. I've been trying to reach you or Sirius or Regulus for hours, but no one has answered me. It's the middle of the night and I have no idea where my boys are, I was worried sick!", she interrupted heatedly and James shrank noticeably. "I know...I'm sorry, really. But...but I had something very important to do.", he explained sheepishly and Effie snorted. "Important, huh? Well, I hope that's settled now." "Don't worry, I'll be home now. I promise.", James said, wondering how many years of house arrest he would get for saving the world.

Chapter 19

Chapter Text

Nine days later...

Peter had never really liked larger, public events. It was always too loud, too many people, too many voices shouting at once and always too many things happening at the same time. That combined with the fact that he didn't like P.E. either made this sports festival the worst possible event for him and the fact that both Sirius and James were running late and he was alone on the pitch didn't make it any better. And then there was their big prank, which he definitely wouldn't be able to pull off alone.

Nervously wringing his now slightly sweaty hands, Peter kept looking around, hoping to spot his friends among the other chattering and laughing students, and when finally two figures purposefully moved towards him, it wasn't Sirius and James. "Hey Peter.", Dorcas greeted him, wearing a green jersey over her gym gear and her braids tied in a high-slung ponytail. "Hi...", Peter drawled, eyeing Dorcas sceptically, who had Evan in tow, who, just like Peter, seemed a bit lost.

"Er, no offence, but...what do you want from me?", he then asked, quite sure that this was the first time Dorcas Meadowes had ever addressed him directly. "You're waiting for James and Sirius, aren't you? Well, Reg is late too and I can imagine why.", Dorcas answered and, sounding a tiny bit miffed, put her hands on her hips. "Why would he...? Oh yeah...I get it." Peter looked down and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well um..." He searched desperately for some topic of conversation that wouldn't make him look like a total idiot, but what finally tumbled out of his mouth couldn't have been more blunt.

"So...Athena, huh? I'm not surprised they put you in that house." He gestured a little awkwardly to Dorcas' green jersey and she looked down at herself a little confused before her gaze darted to Evan, who seemed mildly amused, and then straightened her shoulders. "Thanks. Although I don't put much stock in the different houses thing, I thought it was very fitting. And they put you in Hera it seems." "Haha, yeah. I never quite understood why, but hey, at least red suits me.", Peter joked and prayed inwardly that something would please get him out of this awkward situation.

His eventual release manifested itself a moment later in the form of Marlene, who hopped over to them, grinning broadly, grabbed Dorcas' hand and planted a generous kiss on her lips. "Hey babe, green really suits you, you know?", she whispered and Dorcas smirked. "Is that so? Well then maybe I should wear it more often.", she replied and Peter just wished he could turn invisible. Not that he was jealous, good heavens no, he was indeed very glad that love would never reduce him to a hormonal lump who couldn't think straight anymore.

But he still felt uncomfortable when all everyone around him could think about was snogging each other senselessly.

"Hey, have any of you seen Pandora?", Evan then asked and with a deep sigh, Peter pointed across the pitch where Pandora was sitting on Xenophilius' lap in her blue jersey, giggling and obviously busy with telling him about something very exciting. "Ah yes, I should have thought so.", Evan said and suddenly Dorcas tore herself away from Marlene and gave him a sharp look. "By the way, have you finally talked to Barty or do you want to avoid each other for the rest of your lives, huh?", she asked accusingly, raising an eyebrow expectantly while holding Marlene in her arms, who despite not knowing what her girlfriend was talking about, looked at least as sternly.

Evan gave a shaky laugh and blushed the tiniest bit, looking at Peter, then back at Dorcas, and then down at the ground. "Well, to be honest...he came to me last week in the middle of the night, practically broke into my room through my window and then..." "And then what?", Marlene asked curiously and although Peter could imagine the outcome of the story, and although it would definitely be terribly cheesy, he was immediately invested, because this was like his beloved trash TV, only live and the cast consisted of people he knew, which made the whole thing that much more exciting.

And yes, maybe that was a bit morally reprehensible, but after all, it was the little pleasures that made life worth living, right?

~***~

After James had kindly dropped Barty off at the address he had given him and then said goodbye to take Regulus home, he had realized that what he was about to do was based on an incredibly stupid idea. And it was probably a bit illegal, too, because while he wasn't planning on robbing anyone, getting into an apartment without ringing the bell or being let in was certainly considered trespassing.

But all is fair in love and war and Barty had never been a big believer in rules anyway, so he climbed up the front of Evan's chic, posh childhood home, which was a breeze thanks to the window sills and rain gutter, and then he pushed Evan's window open. He never locked it, which was very careless and downright reckless in a big city like London, but it was a holdover from the days when Barty himself would often leave home at night to sleep with Evan instead. Because he couldn't stand the silence in his own house anymore.

Because he couldn't stand his mother's crying and his father's inaction, because he was just tired of the screaming and fighting, and because Evan was his safe haven, always had been. When Barty was with Evan, he knew there was at least something that made sense in this messed-up world, because Evan was the one thing he could always count on, the one person who was always there to shine a light in the darkness. Whenever Barty had thought nothing would save him from the brink his father had always been pushing him towards, Evan had appeared out of nowhere and taken his hand.

Life without him just didn't make sense and it would be ridiculous to try to convince himself otherwise. Knowing that every day he would see Evan's smile or his eye roll or hear his voice was what kept Barty from going crazy. He'd always known that and needing Evan wasn't a new realization and probably...probably he'd loved him at least as long as Evan had loved him. Barty was just too stupid to realize that because he was selfish and cynical and sometimes cruel and above all he was self-destructive and he never thought about the consequences his own stupid mistakes would have on others.

He always thought only of himself and Evan had known that and always accepted everything, had done absolutely everything for him and Barty had taken and taken, not caring if he was giving enough. He'd been a crappy best friend, even crappier than Regulus, whose way of showing affection was to issue detailed death threats and to say Barty felt guilty about it would have been an understatement. But that's exactly why he hadn't been able to call Evan or even text him, because...because if he were such a terrible best friend, he would also be a terrible boyfriend, right?

Evan deserved someone just as devoted as he was, looking at him and knowing how to make him happy, and Barty had doubted he could do it. He didn't want to hurt Evan, he wanted to love him the way he deserved and holy sh*t, he really loved him but he hadn't been sure if that would be enough. But after Barty saw Regulus burst into tears after thinking he'd lost James, he'd realized that losing Evan forever would be worse than not even trying. He was sure to make a lot of mistakes and fail a lot, but Barty just hoped Evan would give him enough chances and forgive him enough times until he proved he could do it right.

The idea of losing Evan to someone else was like a nightmare come true and yes it was unhealthy and definitely a bit toxic but Barty had never said he wasn't the jealous type because he sure was, but still he wanted Evan to be his. Evan with all his cute little quirks and his absurdly good-natured heart and the pretty worry line between his eyebrows and the beautiful diamond-shaped speckles in his irises that you really only saw if you looked close enough. Or the tiny little scar on his upper lip he'd gotten when he was nine when they had been playing tag in the backyard and Evan ran into the fence.

Barty wanted Evan and only him because no one else would ever know him like he did and no one else would ever be able to understand him in that very special way. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect, but still, Barty was sure it was meant to be. "Evan? Are you awake?", Barty whispered as he climbed through the window into the room that was cluttered with so many books and empty coffee cups he almost didn't know how to get from the window to Evan's bed. "But you're always complaining that I don't clean up, you hypocrite...", Barty grumbled, stepping over a Shakespeare anthology and carefully toeing aside a cup that must have been sitting there for a while.

Evan almost drowned in the far too big bed and Barty saw that he was sleeping in the bed linens which he hated the most because although they were a dark forest green which was Evan's favourite colour, they were silk and contrary to what you might think, Evan wasn't a fan of silk. He liked cotton and wool, things that were plush or rough, but he hated silk because it was cold and smooth and for some reason, Barty had always liked that about Evan. Maybe because it was one of the few ways Evan could express his rebellion, or maybe because it was such an odd liking that Evan had to be loved for it.

"Pssst, Evan. Wake up.", Barty hissed and nudged Evan on the nose, which he only wrinkled slightly and then continued to sleep peacefully. "Oh come on...", Barty groaned and poked Evan in the cheek. "I just climbed through your window in a grossly romantic way to tell you that I love you too, so wake up now!", he ground out and Evan's eyes snapped open, and he let out a choked scream so Barty covered his mouth out of reflex. "Shhh, it's alright. It's me.", he said hastily and Evan's panicked gaze slowly calmed down and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What the hell are you doing here?", he mumbled behind Barty's fingers and Barty swallowed. "I uh...just had to see you.", he said, then sat down on the edge of the bed. "Now? It's past midnight.", Evan replied, glancing at his alarm clock, and Barty nodded. "Yeah, I know, but this couldn't wait. I've had a pretty crazy night and...and all I could think about was you." At that, Evan's eyes softened and he slowly sat up.

"Me?" "Yeah...maybe it was because I broke into the school with Reggie because he was secretly using the lab there to reproduce an antidote, which luckily wasn't necessary because Spider-Man and his pal saved the world but it was all quite stressful because then Spider-Man came to us injured and then I thought for a moment he would die in Reg's lap but then he didn't and oh yeah, by the way, James Potter is Spider-Man, and Reg is dating him and...and what I'm trying to say is that tonight there was a chance that we all could've died and all I wanted was to tell you that I love you too."

The words came out of Barty in one gush and he couldn't stop them. Sentence after sentence tumbled from his lips and Evan's facial expressions changed so quickly he wasn't sure what was on his mind and when he was finally done Evan was silent and Barty wanted to scream really loud just to drown out the silence. And then... "James is Spider-Man and Reg is snogging him?" Barty gasped and stared at Evan in bewilderment. "Really? Out of everything I just told you, that's the one thing you ask first? Not that the whole city was almost wiped out or that I f*cking love you? Holy sh*t Evan, are you freaking kidding me?!"

Evan swallowed, the infamous worry line etched deep into his forehead, and when he spoke it sounded more like a whimper than an actual answer. "Well...to be honest, that seemed the most likely of everything you told me...", he murmured sheepishly and Barty's mouth fell open. "You mean you don't believe me when I tell you that I love you?", he wanted to know and Evan slumped noticeably. "No...I mean I...do you really love me?" "For f*ck's sake, Evan...", Barty moaned in frustration, grabbed Evan's neck and kissed him.

It wasn't what Barty had imagined, and he'd imagined it more often than he cared to admit these past few days, but Evan didn't taste like cotton candy and there wasn't a fairytale-like flutter in his chest either. Instead, Evan tasted like toothpaste and Barty's chest felt like a nuclear bomb had just exploded inside of it. Everything was in ruins and Evan was to blame and Barty believed he would never recover from that one kiss. His fingers were on the back of Evan's neck, playing with the hair that had already grown a bit too long and Evan's lips were full and soft and beyond imagination.

Barty sighed softly into the kiss that felt like a dream that was never allowed to end because then the world would end. "Barty..." Hearing his name whispered that way by Evan singlehandedly rewired Barty's entire brain chemistry and when they finally broke apart, Barty couldn't stop grinning. "That was..." "The best kiss ever? Yes, I totally agree.", Barty interrupted Evan, whose breathing was a bit laboured and who had a wonderfully misty look in his eyes. "I hope you're now fully convinced that I'm absolutely and completely crazy about you, Evan Rosier."

"Yes, more than convinced.", Evan whispered, smiling, stroking Barty's hair. "But I'd still like to get back to the burglary and antidote thing." "Oh yeah, understandable. Well, first you should know that I was very clever and no alarms went off, no one saw us and there won't be any trouble, I promise.", Barty explained and although Evan rolled his eyes he laughed. "Yeah, it never crossed my mind to doubt your criminal prowess." "Thanks, I take that very seriously you know.", Barty said, and Evan shook his head. "You really are nuts." "Oh yeah, and you have the privilege of having me stuck around you forever, darling.", Barty grinned and kissed Evan again.

~***~

"Ah I see, so that's how it went.", Peter said and Evan nodded. "Yep. We're together now.", he replied and Dorcas slapped him hard on the back. "Great, I knew you could handle this." "Uh well, without Pandora neither of us would have been able to handle it.", Evan said and Marlene pricked up her ears. "Oh, were you planning to avoid your overwhelmingly strong feelings for me forever?", she asked and Dorcas lifted her chin. "Of course not, I just needed some time to...get things straight.", she explained, grimacing at her own words and Evan laughed almost indignantly.

"Oh please, you were at least as scared as I was and besides, you were too proud to admit that you had fallen in love." "That's not true at all.", Dorcas grumbled and lapsed into bickering with Evan, which didn't seem to bother Marlene at all, who turned to Peter instead. "Don't worry, the rest will show up and then we can start with phase 1.", she said and winked at Peter. "I hope so. But hey, tell me, do you actually know how things are looking between Mary and Lily?", he wanted to know and his eyes wandered around, searching for the two girls.

"Well, they're talking again, but it's still not quite like it used to be. Pretty awkward if you ask me.", Marlene replied, nodding over to the bleachers where Lily and Mary were standing together, but apparently, avoiding having to look at each other as much as possible. "Oh dear, I really hope that..." But Peter didn't get to finish his sentence because Madam Hooch's loud whistle momentarily deafened everyone and at the same time effectively drew attention to her. "Now, before we start, I want to go through the list again and make sure everyone is present.", she announced, waving a black clipboard around.

She began to read everyone's name, one by one, until... "Okay, how is it that Mr. Potter and both Black brothers are missing, huh? Are they unable to read the clock or can one of you give me a plausible explanation? Perhaps you, Mr. Pettigrew?" Peter winced and since it was generally known that he was an absolutely terrible liar under pressure with a lack of talent for improvisation, he started to stammer, and unfortunately, Marlene was also not particularly helpful and when Madam Hooch was getting impatient and was about to give all three an F for unexcused absence, Peter heard someone yelling through the crowd and turned around.

"We're here! I know we're late, but we're here!", Sirius gasped, while James weaved them through the other students, trying not to lose his glasses. "And may I also know why you three are late?", Madam Hooch asked sharply, scrutinizing the boys, but...well, one only had to take a closer look and an answer was unnecessary, which she also seemed to recognize, moaning in exasperation and then she put three ticks on her list. "And who's going to tell me who that is?", she asked irritably, pointing the pen at Remus, who looked completely out of place with his oversized sweater and ripped jeans.

"As far as I know, you don't go to this school. Who are you?", Madam Hooch demanded to know, and Remus winced. "I uh am Remus Lupin, ma'am." "Is that so, huh? Well, that still doesn't explain what you're doing here.", Madam Hooch retorted as Sirius grabbed his hand. "He's my boyfriend and he's here today as a spectator." "Then he should take a seat in the stands, right now, shouldn't he, Mr. Black?", Madam Hooch snorted and Remus scuttled away to avoid further trouble. "Wonderful now that everyone is here..."

She blew her pretty copper whistle loudly and everyone covered their ears in reflex. "It will go like this. Each of you will take part in at least one discipline. Long throw, relay, high jump, I don't give a damn, but nobody gets away scot-free today, just that we're clear.", she explained pointedly and there was a general nagging and dissatisfied groaning, which, however, was graciously ignored on Madam Hooch's part. "You know, I'm still a bit pissed.", Peter whispered, arms crossed over his chest and Sirius frowned. "Sorry we were late Pete, but we..."

"Oh nonsense, not because of that. I'm mad because you didn't ask me for help that night. On the contrary, you kept me completely in the dark. I hated that.", Peter interrupted Sirius and James raised his eyebrows. "Pete..." "I could have helped. But instead, I just sat there stupid and useless and..." "Hey, you're neither stupid nor useless. You're our ace up our sleeve and always will be. There was no way we could have risked losing you that night because without you we would be lost.", James said softly but firmly, putting a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes widening hopefully and Sirius smirked. "Sure thing, you're our secret weapon, mate.", he added, ruffling Peter's hair. "Hey, I really don't want to be the one who spoils the happy atmosphere here, but...but our parents are here." Regulus had wedged himself between James and Sirius, his eyes fixed on his feet and his shoulders stiff. "Huh? Of course, they are here, Effie and Monty would never..." "No, I mean...our biological parents.", Regulus cut off Sirius, who immediately paled and looked around in panic. His eyes swept across the stands and then stopped abruptly.

"f*ck..." Between other parents and friends, all chatting animatedly, Walburga and Orion Black sat, rigid as two statues, looking eerily out of place with their perfect posture and expensive attire. "Bloody hell, they really are here. Why are they here?", Sirius hissed, agitated, and Regulus grabbed his wrist. "I don't know, maybe because they want to gloat about our failures or want to tell us what gigantic disappointments we are. That would definitely suit them.", he babbled nervously and the two of them could've spiralled down further, resulting in a panic attack for both of them, but instead James put a hand on their shoulders and squeezed gently.

"Hey, calm down. My parents are here and there's no way they're going to let them get close to you. Everything's fine, okay?" His voice was low but steady and when James smiled it just gave you the feeling that nothing bad could possibly happen. James knew he'd inherited that smile from his mother, as well as the ability to keep a level head in a crisis. Well, at least mostly. "Besides, there's this little prank that I think needs to be taken care of.", James then remarked and Sirius perked up. "Right! It should happen soon, right? Bloody hell, I almost forgot."

"Prank?", Regulus repeated confused, but not quite so tensely anymore and Sirius grinned broadly at him. "Oh yes, this is going to be our masterpiece, just wait and see Reggie." Regulus raised an eyebrow doubtfully, but then shrugged, because whatever Sirius and the others had planned was going to be unstoppable now anyway, so he might as well just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. In the meantime, Remus, who would surely enjoy the show as well, had managed to get a seat in the stands.

Right next to Effie and Monty, who constantly exchanged silent glances and seemed to be having a telepathic conversation that eventually resulted in Effie addressing Remus. "Hello, I'm Euphemia Potter, James' mother. Am I correct in assuming that you are Sirius' new boyfriend? He talks about you all the time." "O-Oh, uh yeah that's me. Nice to meet you." Remus shook hands with Effie and Monty and almost blurted out the question as to what exactly Sirius had said about him, but he held back. He wanted to make at least a halfway decent first impression.

"He really seems to be head over heels in love with you and the way I see it, you're feeling the same, huh?", Effie continued and Remus felt his cheeks grow warm. "Er...well Sirius is...I mean we are...yes. Yes, I...I am...I love him.", he stammered helplessly, suddenly convinced that he had now hopelessly embarrassed himself in front of the Potters but then Effie and Monty smiled at each other. "Sirius is happy. To be honest we've never seen him so happy and if you're the reason why then you're always welcome in our family.", Monty explained, giving him a mischievous wink.

"But of course, all bedroom activities are best done in Sirius' flat, no offence." "Monty!", Effie exclaimed, half indignant, half rebuking, while Remus was pretty sure his entire face was about to burst into flames. He wanted to explain that he and Sirius hadn't had sex until now, but that would only have made the situation more uncomfortable. So he said nothing, feeling awkward as hell, while Effie assured him there was nothing to be ashamed of and that she would be happy to invite him over for dinner tonight.

"Oh sh*t, I think my parents are giving Remus a hard time right now.", James murmured, nudging Sirius slightly, who immediately looked up at the stands, where Remus was sitting very still, blushing badly and looking like he was about to explode at any moment. "Good heavens, Monty's probably started talking about some sex stuff again. You and Reg are probably about go through that too.", Sirius murmured, and James felt a chill run down his spine at the thought.

But James that later there would be enough time to worry about his father's inappropriate comments and advice, which were really only well-intentioned, for just then Madam Hooch finished her lengthy and drawn-out explanation and declared the sports festival officially open. The crowd of students dispersed, plans were made to escape the physical activity, others simply resigned themselves to their fate and, unsurprisingly, Madam Hooch was gone as soon as the first discipline started.

~***~

"Oh God, how long until the prank? I think my lungs are about to collapse!", Peter wheezed and clung to Marlene, who sympathetically stroked his head. "Don't worry Pete, there's only a five-a-side football game after this and that's going to be our moment to shine.", Sirius said, letting James tie his hair back. "Tell that to my asthma. I'll probably die before we even start.", Peter croaked, clutching his chest. "Uh, no offence Pete, but you have to let go of me now. I'm assigned for the relay.", Marlene said and tried to push Peter away carefully, but Peter stubbornly held on to her.

"Oh no, that's not gonna happen. My legs feel like jelly and James is busy doing our beauty queen's hair, so you have no other choice right now." "Okay, fine. But then someone has to stand in for me. Uh hey, Lils! Could you maybe do that?", Marlene called and Lily, who somehow seemed a bit lost, stopped. "Oh...uh yes, of course. Sure. I can do that.", she said and of course, one could now assume that Marlene had worked out a plan to smuggle Lily into the relay because coincidentally Mary had been assigned to do it too.

But the fact of the matter was that it was indeed a coincidence and James had learned not to underestimate coincidences, for they were rarely just a quirk of the universe. In fact, most of it made sense and James was convinced it was some stroke of luck that Lily ran the last lap of the relay and they all stood on the sidelines yelling and cheering her on, Marlene the loudest and then she crossed the finish line, stumbling into Mary's arms and pulled her to the ground with her. None of the other runners really cared, and James and the others bothered not to hear what they were frantically whispering to each other.

This was their all-alone moment and Lily cried laughing as her tears fell down onto Mary's cheeks, who couldn't stop grinning and you didn't have to be able to read lips to tell what they were saying to each other. I love you. I love you. I love you. Over and over again because those were the only words that mattered and everyone knew it. Mary's butterfly laugh fluttered through the air and she buried her hands in Lily's hair, pulling her down and kissing her. Kissed her until Madam Hooch appeared out of nowhere, admonished them and then shooed them away, and Mary and Lily ran to their friends holding hands, giggling and eyes sparkling.

At the same time, across the pitch, McGonagall was having an argument with Barty, who had trespassed on the premises and climbed over the wall. "I know I'm repeating myself Mr. Crouch, but you can't just get in like that, you're no longer a student here and that's why the academy is off-limits to you.", McGonagall explained slightly unnerved because Barty just wouldn't stop to disagree. "I know, but I'm not here because I'm so determined to get into this stupid sports festival.", he grumbled and McGonagall crossed her arms over her chest, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, is that so? Then why are you here if you would be so kind as to explain it to me." "I'm here for Evan.", Barty replied and McGonagall sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, you're about to witness something that has never happened before and will never happen again after this. I'm going to make an exception. So go ahead and find Mr. Rosier before I change my mind." Barty gaped at McGonagall, completely overwhelmed, his mouth hanging open, and then he mumbled a cursory 'Thank you' and ran off.

He found Evan sitting on the ground, tying his shoes, and threw himself on top of him from behind. "Barty?! f*ck, you shouldn't be here! If Filch sees you o-or Slughorn then...!" "Oh don't worry, McGonagall herself made an exception." Barty pressed a finger over Evan's lips and kissed his sweaty forehead. He looked like an Adonis fresh from the first Olympics, bathed in a golden mist, and Barty would have loved nothing more than to rip that stupid jersey off his body. "An exception? Are you sure she was sane?", Evan asked, frowning, mumbling around Barty's fingers, who nodded, grinning broadly.

"Yep, and I'm here to cheer for my amazing, handsome and very athletic boyfriend.", he explained and Evan smiled. "You really came here for me? It's just a stupid sports festival." "Yeah, but you're not stupid." Barty took Evan's face in his hands and kissed him until Madam Hooch's whistle signalled the start of the football game and they had to break away from each other. Evan played alongside Dorcas, Marlene and Peter, who was their goalie, against Mulciber, Avery, Zabini and one of the Carrow twins.

"They can win this easily, Mulciber has strength but is too daft for even the simplest strategy.", Barty said to Regulus, who had appeared with James next to him. "Maybe, but we'll never know how the game will end.", the latter replied and Barty glanced over at him curiously when the first goal was scored. "What have you and your friends planned, huh?" "We don't know, he doesn't even want to tell me so we have no choice but to wait.", Regulus sighed and James kissed the top of his head.

"So impatient.", he whispered lovingly and Regulus rolled his eyes, but then demanded a second kiss and just as Sirius made a gagging sound, there was a dull creaking sound from the confetti cannons that had been specially installed for the sports festival, paid from the already tight school fees and they were actually only supposed to jump into action at the award ceremony at the end of the festival. Madam Hooch gave McGonagall a slightly irritated look, but she looked as if she already knew what impending disaster was about to befall her.

"3, 2, 1...now!" Sirius covered his ears with a grin and with a loud bang foam fountains shot up from the confetti cannons, followed by countless air bubbles that immediately flooded the entire pitch and everything fell into chaos. "Yes! It worked!", James exclaimed, raising his arms in the air in triumph. "Did you have any doubts about that?", Sirius asked laughing and James shook his head violently. "Never!" "Oh wow, did you see how high that went up? Maybe I overdid it a bit...", Peter muttered, wading through the foam towards them, but Sirius and James just lunged at him, cheering.

"It was perfect, Pete!", Sirius yelled loudly, hugging Peter tightly to his chest. "And that's exactly why you're the unsung genius of the three of us.", James added while Regulus watched McGonagall throw a fit. Dumbledore, on the other hand, seemed amused and didn't mind the countless bubbles getting caught in his beard, and Madam Hooch threw away her clipboard, shaking her head. She had now officially given up. "Well, I have to say, we managed that really wonderfully.", Lily said, a tiny bubble that had landed on the tip of her nose and shimmered with all the colours of the rainbow.

"Even though you didn't want to be a part of this at first.", Mary reminded her, one arm wrapped around her waist. "It was worth it to me.", Lily said with a smile and leaned against Mary. "I hope so because trouble is on the way.", Marlene said, who carried Dorcas on her back and nodded in the direction of the stands. Dorcas followed her gaze and the smile practically fell from her face. "Oh no..." With ice in her eyes and venom on her lips, Walburga rushed towards them, followed by her husband.

She wasn't running, that would have been beneath her dignity, but her stride was quick and fierce, every movement controlled, and not even the colourful foam could make her look any less terrifying. "Aren't you ashamed of dragging our family's good name through the mud like that?!", she hissed, her hand raised as if about to sink her claws into one of her two sons and Regulus clutched at Sirius' arm, whose lips were pressed tightly together, ready to defy his parents.

"I hope you realize how absolutely childish and ridiculous you are behaving here and how badly that reflects on us! Such behaviour is not only unacceptable but pathetic and I can't overstate how disappointed I am in you both!", Walburga continued to bleat while Orion loomed behind her like a menacing shadow. "It's nothing new that you're disappointed in us. But it might surprise you to hear that we don't care.", Sirius replied, and while he didn't yell, he seemed composed. Walburga stared at him, a vein was throbbing on her temple and a few strands had come loose from her perfect hairdo and now hung tangled over her face.

"Oh no, I'm not at all surprised, Sirius. I always knew you were too stupid to understand how much effort it takes to build a name and reputation, but I didn't expect more from you either. You're a walking failure and I should have stamped you out when I had the chance.", she spat and Sirius clenched his jaw. Then Walburga's gaze shifted to Regulus. "You, on the other hand...I expected more from you, but in the end, it turned out that you're just as useless as your brother.", she sneered, tilting her head slightly and there was something oddly broken in her iron voice, almost like she was trying to make Regulus feel guilty.

"If useless means not being like you, then I'm glad of it, mother.", Regulus replied, and that seemed to be the last straw, for Walburga took a step toward her younger son, claws outstretched, as someone grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop. "If you touch even a single hair on my boys' heads, I'll have you and all your rotten kin shoved out of town immediately.", Monty said, brows furrowed and James had never seen his father this angry.

"How dare you?! Get your dirty fingers off my wife!", Orion rumbled, but Monty wasn't intimidated. He stood his ground and only let go of Walburga when she nodded, gritting her teeth and took a step back from Regulus and Sirius. "It really baffles me how a woman like you could give birth to two such wonderful boys.", Effie said, shaking her head and Remus carefully pushed past her to take Sirius' hand. "Actually, I can only pity you because you will never understand how extraordinary and smart and big-hearted these two are. It's a shame that they were punished with people like you as parents."

"You'll be hearing from our attorneys.", Orion growled, and Monty smiled mildly. "I am looking forward to it." Huffing, Orion turned away as McGonagall had him and Walburga escorted off the school grounds, and when they were finally out of sight, Regulus took a deep breath. "Are you alright?", Effie asked, putting a hand under Sirius' chin. "Yeah, we're fine. Reggie?" He looked at his little brother, running his fingers briefly through his dark hair, and Regulus nodded. "Yes, we're fine." "Well, we should go home, huh?", Monty suggested and James and Sirius exchanged a quick look. "Actually..."

~***~

"When you said we were going to have a picnic, I didn't know we were going to be doing it at 912 feet.", Regulus said, resting his head on James' shoulder and letting him feed him grapes. "Oh come on, no one else can give you a view like that.", James replied, stroking Regulus' cheek. "He's right, you ungrateful little git, stop complaining.", Sirius crowed from where he was lying in Remus' lap and enjoying being petted. "Ugh, why again did I agree to a double date?", Regulus groaned and James laughed.

"Because you love me and so does Sirius, but we all know you'd rather bite your tongue off than admit that out loud." "Absolutely correct.", Regulus agreed, then opened his mouth wide, silently requesting another grape. "You know, if my presence bothers you that much, then you may as well leave. Nobody's forcing you to stay.", Sirius said and Regulus sat up with a flourish. "You know what? You're right. James, let's go. There are other skyscrapers in London." "Oh uh okay...and which one would be to your liking?", James asked, getting to his feet unsteadily.

"I don't care, you pick one.", Regulus replied with a shrug and put his arms around James. "I trust you." "Awww, Reggie..." James nuzzled his nose into Regulus' cheek before kissing him, over and over, until a grape was thrown at his head. "Oi, you're blocking my view with your snogging.", Sirius complained and Remus chuckled. Regulus rolled his eyes, but James just laughed, pulling Regulus towards him by the waist and then jumping off the roof with him, his loud hooting dying away between the canyons of the houses.

"Admit it, you just wanted to get rid of them because you can't bear to watch them kiss.", Remus said, looking down at Sirius and brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead. "Wrong. I wanted to get rid of them because now I want to make out with my boyfriend and this is something that neither my little brother nor my best friend should be watching me do.", Sirius replied, grinning wolfishly and Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You're going to kiss me now?" "Hm, until you can't breathe anymore.", Sirius whispered, pushing himself up on his elbows. "Then stop talking.", Remus purred harshly and something lit up in Sirius' eyes. "Make me." "Gladly.", Remus sighed, gently grabbing Sirius by the throat while the sun began to sink into the river.